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Old 01-31-2013, 07:23 PM   #76
lovecraft68
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Originally Posted by luvthedesserts View Post
What? She invaded his privacy? That bitch. How dare she. Toss her ass in the Loving Wives category. She needs to be punished. Any “real” story, he’d have a lock on his door. Come on, really. What were you thinking? I can’t believe this. I’m never reading another story you write ever again. Nor will I read another story from a writer with a name starting with the letter ‘L.’ And what kind of guy has a journal? Wouldn’t he prefer Dad? Come on, Realism. I want realism in my fantasy.


Okay. Sorry. For those of you who are uncertain, I’m a smartass.

Well, at least she banged him. Did she get pregnant?
Ummm, I keep a journal. Have since I was a kid. My foster mother did indeed read it one day and I got sent to talk to someone, but it had nothing to do with incest.

Every author has their own squicks and even though I enjoy the incest category pregnancy is not a boundary I cross. I get a ton of comments however saying that I should always do a second chapter and have her get pregnant.

If you care to check out the story in question here it is

http://www.literotica.com/s/a-mothers-sacrifice-2

Warning, if so-so grammar will stop you from reading then.....

Back to topic at hand what will get me to stop reading a series is if I realize every chapter is simply the same two people doing it in a different position/place.

Chapter three "This time mom takes it in the ass!"

It becomes a game of X-rated Clue

It was mom, in the library, with the Hitachi wand.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:30 PM   #77
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I am not an English major, and I don't feel the need to be the grammar nanny. If the story is a hot mess and obviously a rough draft - I'm outta there. I am also bother by cookie cutter stories. Someone mentioned the same author using a template. Sometimes it seems that authors are trolling for templates. If it reads like porn - all sex and no story - I'm gone.

What bothers me most are inconsistencies in the plot or characters. I read a story the other day where it was obvious the author had changed his/her mind on the character's name. That's fine. It would be helpful to change the name everywhere so the story doesn't read as if the Charmed girls are orbing in and out of bed.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:32 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
Ummm, I keep a journal. Have since I was a kid. My foster mother did indeed read it one day and I got sent to talk to someone, but it had nothing to do with incest.

Every author has their own squicks and even though I enjoy the incest category pregnancy is not a boundary I cross. I get a ton of comments however saying that I should always do a second chapter and have her get pregnant.

If you care to check out the story in question here it is

http://www.literotica.com/s/a-mothers-sacrifice-2

Warning, if so-so grammar will stop you from reading then.....

Back to topic at hand what will get me to stop reading a series is if I realize every chapter is simply the same two people doing it in a different position/place.

Chapter three "This time mom takes it in the ass!"

It becomes a game of X-rated Clue

It was mom, in the library, with the Hitachi wand.
LOL. Don’t take that psychotic rant seriously. I’ve been following the Cherry picking thread. Just try to delete it. Try it. I dare you. Journals are fine. No judgment whatsoever. Had to have one in a Creative Writing class. The instructor needed therapy afterwards.

And why oh why did you give away the ending? I thought it was Uncle Stan, in the maid, with a fondue fork.
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Old 01-31-2013, 07:38 PM   #79
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Originally Posted by luvthedesserts View Post
LOL. Don’t take that psychotic rant seriously. I’ve been following the Cherry picking thread. Just try to delete it. Try it. I dare you. Journals are fine. No judgment whatsoever. Had to have one in a Creative Writing class. The instructed needed therapy afterwards.

And why oh why did you give away the ending. I thought it was Uncle Stan in the maid with a fondue fork.
I will not delete your remark! I will wear it as a badge of honor damn it!

And thanks for telling me about Uncle Stan! I just used that fork ewww!

I started my journal because I had no friends. I still have a journal because.....

Actually my "journal" is a combination of plot bunnies and Role Plays my wife and I have played out. I'm thinking of doing one of those couples "improve their sex life" books on the art of role playing.
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Old 01-31-2013, 08:38 PM   #80
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Poor grammar, spelling, word usage, amorphous context ... after one or two tortuous paragraphs you just know a story is going to be unreadable before you waste any more time on it ... it's like a fire alarm going off.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:39 PM   #81
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Here's my list:

- The never-ending back story - people write back story because it's easy to write, but it's a boring way to start a story, and it is way overdone by beginning writers. Begin with the beginning of the story and fill in the back story as you go along.

- Excessive description of things - yeah, it's great that you spent two paragraphs describing the thread count of the mauve-colored Egyptian cotton sheets, and how the burled walnut french doors open onto the hardwood deck that overlooks the English garden in the dusky sunset light, but who gives a shit.

- Thesaurus Kings\Queens - a character can't simply walk across a room. Instead they have to pad their dainty manicured feet across the desert-sand-colored berber carpet, as they saunter jauntily in a confident manner, scratching their hirsute crotch as they go.

- Caveman stories - stories with little or no dialog:

Ogg see girl. Ogg want girl. Girl want Ogg. Ogg fuck girl. Ogg cum hard! The end.

- Ridiculous use of dialog tags:

"Are you serious?" he chortled.

"Yes, I am," she spat.

"I doesn't seem that way," he conjectured.

"It's because you're a moron," she postulated.

"No, I'm not," he rebutted.

"Yes, you are," she retaliated.
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Old 01-31-2013, 10:51 PM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dream_Operator View Post
- Ridiculous use of dialog tags:

"Are you serious?" he chortled.

"Yes, I am," she spat.

"I doesn't seem that way," he conjectured.

"It's because you're a moron," she postulated.

"No, I'm not," he rebutted.

"Yes, you are," she retaliated.
Ah, yes, the old 'assorted dialogue tags' trick.

In another life I had an editor who frowned on anything other than he/she said.

For some reason the tag that really sends me up the wall is 'asserted'. 'I think you should fuck me now,' she asserted. Whenever I come across a character asserting, I'm off to the next story.
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Old 02-01-2013, 12:55 AM   #83
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.... For some reason the tag that really sends me up the wall is 'asserted'. 'I think you should fuck me now,' she asserted. Whenever I come across a character asserting, I'm off to the next story.

But... but... what about "Insert it!," she asserted? At least it rhymes, sort of.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:29 AM   #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamScribble View Post
Ah, yes, the old 'assorted dialogue tags' trick.

In another life I had an editor who frowned on anything other than he/she said.

For some reason the tag that really sends me up the wall is 'asserted'. 'I think you should fuck me now,' she asserted. Whenever I come across a character asserting, I'm off to the next story.
I've gotta go with 'mused.' Number one on the list of annoying tags. I don't think I've mused a day in my life.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:41 AM   #85
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I use different attributives when it fits. Like whispering, shouting, etc.

This is a very informative thread. I hate just using 'he said she said' I wrote an entire how-to on how to avoid it.
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:04 AM   #86
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Wow...

I read this whole thread thus far and realise that no authors here would read one of my stories in its entirety and I am now remembering the stories i didn't bother finishing.

(A) because grammar differs form one part of the English speaking world to the next and being Australian I have a hybrid mix of American and British grammar, that is always wrong to someone, but i can read and enjoy either but not a total lack there of.

(B) because shit we all have different kinks, squinks, or fetishes and that's okay to click out if its different to what the blurb intimated it would be.

Personally I am of the firm belief that if we all liked the same thing the world would be a very boring place.

While I can see some aspects appealing to some, other aspects let it down. So don't read my stuff leave it to the uneducated plebs that like it This is my hobby and I enjoy it, you don't have to
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:28 AM   #87
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There's nothing that turns me off more than vulgar words, like bunghole, piss-slit, and shithole. Disgusting!
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:49 AM   #88
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:49 AM   #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xelliebabex View Post
Wow...

I read this whole thread thus far and realise that no authors here would read one of my stories in its entirety and I am now remembering the stories i didn't bother finishing.

(A) because grammar differs form one part of the English speaking world to the next and being Australian I have a hybrid mix of American and British grammar, that is always wrong to someone, but i can read and enjoy either but not a total lack there of.

(B) because shit we all have different kinks, squinks, or fetishes and that's okay to click out if its different to what the blurb intimated it would be.

Personally I am of the firm belief that if we all liked the same thing the world would be a very boring place.

While I can see some aspects appealing to some, other aspects let it down. So don't read my stuff leave it to the uneducated plebs that like it This is my hobby and I enjoy it, you don't have to
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:06 AM   #90
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For me the main things i do not like are things like

- The main character being unlikable. I like to be able to relate to the main character and i just cann't do that if i do not like him or her.

- Unrealistic scenarios that include things like a brother having no feelings for his sister and one day he sees her in a dress that shows a bit of cleavage and suddenly he is in love and wants to have sex with her.

- Also a personal dislike is when the main character is a panties sniffer. It may just be me but i think that is very very creepy.

- For me there also has to be a reason for the sex and the sex has to make sense. I am also not a fan of stories where the 22 year old guy is a virgin and then he has sex with one girl and a week later he is not only a completely different person but he has also fucked 5 other girls due to his amazing skills in bed and his super confident attitude. I have lost count of the number of stories i have read where the main character starts out nice and becomes a complete arsehole after he begins having sex.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:14 AM   #91
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(A) because grammar differs form one part of the English speaking world to the next and being Australian I have a hybrid mix of American and British grammar,
What differences are you talking about? I am British and have found few real differences between British and American grammar, even less that would be a big deal to somebody reading. Spelling is an issue (e.g. colour vs color), as is different words for the same thing (e.g. pavement vs sidewalk), but not grammar really.

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Old 02-01-2013, 07:16 AM   #92
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Originally Posted by Dream_Operator View Post
Here's my list:


- Caveman stories - stories with little or no dialog:

Ogg see girl. Ogg want girl. Girl want Ogg. Ogg fuck girl. Ogg cum hard! The end.

...
But...

I, as Ogg, don't write stories like that.
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Old 02-01-2013, 07:25 AM   #93
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Originally Posted by Cruel2BKind View Post
I use different attributives when it fits. Like whispering, shouting, etc.

This is a very informative thread. I hate just using 'he said she said' I wrote an entire how-to on how to avoid it.
"He said" and "She said", happen to be the strongest form of dialogue attribution.

Unless the story has a pressing reason to use another form, 'whispered' or 'yelled' or 'stammered', then good steady 'said' is normally the way to go. It doesn't bore, it is an operative word and it is basically invisible if the dialogue and setting have been executed properly. There is no need to say, 'whispered' if the character's actions and/or location tell us of their need/desire to be quiet.

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Old 02-01-2013, 07:49 AM   #94
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Excessive use of exclamation marks!!!
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:10 AM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oggbashan View Post
But...

I, as Ogg, don't write stories like that.
But if you did, I bet they'd be great!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruel2BKind View Post
I use different attributives when it fits. Like whispering, shouting, etc.

This is a very informative thread. I hate just using 'he said she said' I wrote an entire how-to on how to avoid it.
I don't think anyone is saying never to use something besides "said," just to do so sparingly. When I had an e-publisher, the editor despised dialogue tags in general, especially in a conversation with only two people. So I avoided -- at times -- not just said, but everything else.

Kbate has a point in that you should be able to to get across a lot of things without needing tags; the context of the scene should help. Describing the characters' actions can also help.

This is also the one thing I remember most from Stephen King's "On Writing." He all but begs aspiring writers to use nothing but "said."
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:12 AM   #96
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What differences are you talking about? I am British and have found few real differences between British and American grammar, even less that would be a big deal to somebody reading. Spelling is an issue (e.g. colour vs color), as is different words for the same thing (e.g. pavement vs sidewalk), but not grammar really.
I've noticed some differences, certainly, but nothing that puts me off. Of course my grandmother is British and I've watched a fair number of British shows and read books and stories by British authors, so I have little trouble unless an expression is obscure or very regional.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:24 AM   #97
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For me the main things i do not like are things like

- The main character being unlikable. I like to be able to relate to the main character and i just cann't do that if i do not like him or her.
OTOH, I'd prefer an unlikeable-but-believable MC to somebody implausibly perfect. That's much harder to relate to, at least for me.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:29 AM   #98
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OTOH, I'd prefer an unlikeable-but-believable MC to somebody implausibly perfect. That's much harder to relate to, at least for me.
I certainly do not want someone perfect either but i think likable is different than perfect. For instance the guy that blackmails his younger sister into having sex with him is not likable, nor is the guy who claims to be in love with a girl and he spies on her in the shower when she doesn't know he is there.

Basically when reading a story i want to like the main character, i want the main character to be happy or at least turn out to be happy. If i would rather see the main character have the crap kicked out of him or for him to be thrown in prison then in my opinion it is not a good story (especially when the arsehole main character is portrayed like the hero and the person the author wants you to root for but in reality he is a horrible person).

Does that make sense?
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:48 AM   #99
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Well, I rarely read stories nowadays unless someone I know (and whose opinion I value) has recommended it for me or someone wants feedback on their story. Thus, I don't come across too many bad ones.

Back when I was an avid reader, I preferred stories which were a change from the norm of "see girl, fuck girl". Like an actual story, rather than a smorgasbord of bad sex.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:49 AM   #100
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Putting my two cents in.....

There are so many talented writers here who write stories you can lose yourself in and enjoy. I'm not a grammar nazi, but it distracts me when every sentence has something spelled wrong. If you have a talent for writing, learn the English language and take pride in your work. If you can't spell, get an editor who can
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