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01-19-2013, 10:42 AM
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#401
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eric.holder@usdoj.gov
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Compassionate America
Posts: 5,480
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Well that happened?
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01-19-2013, 10:43 AM
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#402
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eric.holder@usdoj.gov
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Compassionate America
Posts: 5,480
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That's it I'm starting AA!
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01-19-2013, 04:34 PM
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#403
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eric.holder@usdoj.gov
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Compassionate America
Posts: 5,480
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"I hate condom's STD's are a myth either way."
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01-19-2013, 04:37 PM
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#404
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eric.holder@usdoj.gov
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Compassionate America
Posts: 5,480
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"I just had sex and it felt so good A woman let me put my penis inside of her."
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01-27-2013, 12:31 AM
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#405
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Literotica Guru
Lia Monde is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wandering in the lush, dark woods
Posts: 4,561
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I don't need birth control, I used to be a man.
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01-27-2013, 12:35 AM
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#406
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Everybody Party!
Tio_Narratore is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: North
Posts: 31,497
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"You put it in already? Really?"
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01-27-2013, 12:41 AM
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#407
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Literotica Guru
Lia Monde is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wandering in the lush, dark woods
Posts: 4,561
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"I don't care what your wife told you. That is one tiny dick."
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01-27-2013, 11:23 AM
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#408
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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Those are the hairest nipples I've ever seen.
What do you mean by, I'll give you a reach around?
Grandma?
You're Justin Bieber?
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01-27-2013, 11:29 AM
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#409
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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Damn, My hymen’s still attached.
This is the first time since the surgery.
Is that Dad on Skype?
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01-27-2013, 11:44 AM
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#410
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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Why does your dog have a dress on?
God, I love this song. Did I ever tell you I banged every member of the Rolling Stones last year?
Could you hand me the flashlight? I think I lost the condom in there.
I was supposed to take the anal plug out before?
Last edited by luvthedesserts : 01-27-2013 at 02:04 PM.
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01-27-2013, 02:09 PM
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#411
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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Whoops
I wish my wife would do that.
This isn’t chocolate syrup, is it?
Does your ass ever stop jiggling?
Sorry. I think I shit a little.
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01-27-2013, 03:15 PM
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#412
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Virgin
JordanShelbourne is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3
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Wow, those clothes really hide how you look.
Okay, that's dimes; now let's see if you're bigger around than a roll of pennies.
Oh, don't worry--Rover just growls, he's never bit anyone before.
Honeybun, you're doing it wrong. (Not so bad when your partner says it, but terrible when some third party says it...to either of you.)
Um...I'm over here.
Did I mention I'm married? And it's not an open relationship?
Wow, George was right--he really is bigger than most other guys.
I'm glad you like'em, but the implant surgery left me without feeling there, so, you know...lovely to look at.
Beige--I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.
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01-27-2013, 04:49 PM
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#413
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Literotica Guru
GinaeEvans is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: It varies throughout the day.
Posts: 678
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-laugh- This thread instantly reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from Fight Club.
"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."
Gah. 
__________________
I don't cyber, guys. I'm here to write and socialize. Sorry.
I don't dislike you. I nothing you. I am a cunning linguist.
"Will you step into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly.
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01-27-2013, 06:56 PM
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#414
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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This is the best sex I’ve had since prison.
Don’t panic, but I think I lost my teeth down there.
It’s so sexy the way you suck my husband’s cum out of me.
(Okay, I threw up a little in my mouth on that last one.)
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01-27-2013, 09:22 PM
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#415
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Literotica Guru
Lia Monde is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wandering in the lush, dark woods
Posts: 4,561
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I love your panties. I have a pair just like them.
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01-27-2013, 09:23 PM
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#416
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Literotica Guru
walkingeagle is offline
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 41,649
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Is that it?
__________________
walkingeagle
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01-27-2013, 09:44 PM
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#417
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functional idiot
respeito is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: behind a wall and a mask
Posts: 14,561
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put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
__________________
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus,
nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.
☼
when my father and mother forsake me
the lord will take me up
teach me thy way o lord
and lead me in a plain path
and let me see the goodness of the lord in the land of the living
wait on the lord and be of good courage
and he shall strengthen thine heart
wait i say-
on the lord
from the movie kingdom come
regina volens rati
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01-28-2013, 08:12 AM
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#418
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Literotica Guru
BuckyDuckman is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 863
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When she corrects you and says: No way should you call that a cock. A cock is much bigger and black.
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01-28-2013, 10:37 AM
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#419
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functional idiot
respeito is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: behind a wall and a mask
Posts: 14,561
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how many times do I have to do this to pass your class?
__________________
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus,
nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.
☼
when my father and mother forsake me
the lord will take me up
teach me thy way o lord
and lead me in a plain path
and let me see the goodness of the lord in the land of the living
wait on the lord and be of good courage
and he shall strengthen thine heart
wait i say-
on the lord
from the movie kingdom come
regina volens rati
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01-28-2013, 11:42 AM
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#420
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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I can’t wait to post this video. It’ll definitely win in the smallest penis category.
Can you hand me the remote? I’m done counting the ceiling tiles.
Did you feel that? Our souls touched.
He puts the lotion on his skin.
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01-28-2013, 12:18 PM
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#421
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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"Oh, yea. I'm balls deep. I'm balls deep. Do you feel that?"
"That's my belly button, asshole. God, I hate myself so much right now."
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01-29-2013, 07:26 AM
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#422
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eric.holder@usdoj.gov
loquere is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Compassionate America
Posts: 5,480
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I think I'm a Lesbian, yeah no this will not work at all.
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01-29-2013, 09:32 AM
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#423
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Honourable Slut
NaokoSmith is online now
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In my dreams
Posts: 4,412
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No, and I'm going to fail your end of year paper for that too.
__________________
Just like one of the lads, really. (With tits  .)
Submissions
Blog: Feminist Erotica
Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree? I travel the world and the seven seas.
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01-29-2013, 09:34 AM
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#424
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Literotica Guru
BuckyDuckman is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 863
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Pay no attention to the occasional flashes of light, it's just lightening.
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01-29-2013, 10:10 AM
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#425
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Shifting Sand
luvthedesserts is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Where the voices tell me
Posts: 3,201
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"Your finger is driving me crazy, Baby."
"But...I'm not touching you."
__________________
Make sure to laugh at yourself or someone else will.
The only difference is, I have to try to be an idiot.
Everyone chooses their own little way to rebel. I didn’t realize mine was Grammar.
My Stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
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