Can you help me make him cum?

[ConfusedAgain]

Sorry, didn't meant to run anyone off the forum. I don't have much more posts than you so don't leave on my account. Obviously only you know the truth even if the push off description rubbed so many people the wrong way. Has the guy communicated any better since you posted this? If he can't make an effort to at least tell you what he likes and doesn't like the next time you're going down on him you can't be expected to be a damn mind reader and know what you're doing wrong.

[xxLadyJxx]

Originally Posted by pmann

I think that may have been a bit far about the abusive thing. But the issue does go back to the original post. I think everyone got a bad taste in their mouth (heehee) and that's probably why this thread has gone sour.

So I think if people are going to reply from here on out, they should just sort of assume that the guy made a mistake and trust Lady when she says he's not a jerk.

The forum can be helpful and I don't think this one bad experience should spoil it all. But there is a lack of tolerance for misogynistic behaviour and that's what it appeared from the first post. Hopefully the good will outweigh the bad.

It was too far and I'm still upset over it.

Originally Posted by loveroflove

vibrating tongue toy?

Nice idea, maybe I'll try that.

Originally Posted by ConfusedAgain

Sorry, didn't meant to run anyone off the forum. I don't have much more posts than you so don't leave on my account. Obviously only you know the truth even if the push off description rubbed so many people the wrong way. Has the guy communicated any better since you posted this? If he can't make an effort to at least tell you what he likes and doesn't like the next time you're going down on him you can't be expected to be a damn mind reader and know what you're doing wrong.

It's fine. I should never have even mentioned that. I didn't know that it was going to make people assume such horrible things about the man I love. I haven't see him since I posted this, we live 2 hours apart so it's sort of long distance.

[SweetErika]

Originally Posted by ConfusedAgain

I know, OP is sick of the jerk comments but the only other scary thing about his jerkiness is that abusive men do the same thing. They keep apologizing over and over, gifts/flowers and all and they say they love you. Not assuming anything because there really isn't enough information to judge.. I'm just throwing that out there. Many men are just like children and storm off when they're mad or upset and he could just be one of those.

CA, there's absolutely nothing wrong with what you posted here. You're right, the OP's bf's behavior is troublesome and many abusers follow the same pattern. And as I pointed out earlier, they also prey on people who have low self-esteem, so it's perfectly reasonable to consider the possibility that this guy is abusive in at least some ways. Like you said, we don't have enough info and it's not fair to assume, but I'm glad you brought it up. Even if it doesn't help the OP, it might help someone else who's reading or lurking.

Originally Posted by xxLadyJxx

The fact that you even brought up abusiveness has really upset me. I've gotten a lot of help from this thread but that was too far. So yeah, I doubt I'll be replying again after this and I'll think twice about asking for help here again if people are going to jump to conclusions about my boyfriend.

Why is that? CA clearly stated she was not calling your bf an abuser. She said she did not have enough info to do so and she wasn't going to make assumptions. She was just drawing (a very valid) parallel. Why is that so upsetting to you?

Originally Posted by xxLadyJxx

It was too far and I'm still upset over it.

It's fine. I should never have even mentioned that. I didn't know that it was going to make people assume such horrible things about the man I love. I haven't see him since I posted this, we live 2 hours apart so it's sort of long distance.

Why would you still be upset if it's wildly inaccurate? Even if someone calls my husband an abuser (again, no one has called your bf an abuser, they've just said that men who behave so poorly can also be abusers), I'd laugh and totally write it off because that's such a far cry from the truth. Now if my husband acted in the same way as your bf and someone pointed out that it's a red flag for abuse, I would evaluate their observations fairly.

You have every right to your feelings, but your response to our observations that your bf's behavior was unacceptable and the point on abuse seems disproportionate for things you claim have absolutely no merit. I'd imagine if the observations were as false as you're claiming, you'd simply refute them and move on, rather than continue to be so upset and defensive about everything. I'm very sorry to say that your reaction to the comments in this thread give a good amount of credence the opinions that seem to upset you so much. You're not responding in a way one would expect from a woman who is being treated well by her partner. And that may be what at least some people are reacting to--not to make you feel bad--because they're concerned for you.

Something else to consider: So what if people say your bf is a jerk, he behaved horribly, or even if someone claims he's abusive? Maybe those points do have merit, maybe they don't, but even if they don't pertain to your bf/relationship, they certainly do apply to other people and their relationships. We're here to give honest advice and information. Hopefully that helps OPs such as yourself, but even if it doesn't, you can safely assume it's going to help others who read the thread. Perhaps a woman with very little relationship experience will read the responses you've received and learn her future partners should communicate with her and boost her self-esteem, rather than act like a jerk when she's trying to do something nice for them. Maybe it'll open her eyes to the fact that abusers often behave in certain ways, and she'll avoid/exit a bad relationship because of it.

Overall, you need to take what's valuable to you and leave the rest for others who might find the comments you don't care for helpful. Hell, you'd do very well to file away the info we're putting out here for your own future reference, just in case you need it at some point (hopefully you won't, but there's a good chance you will). You can put your energy into getting/being upset, or you can invest it in finding the value in what people are saying, even if those things don't apply to your specific situation right now.

[shrek100]

My wife had not given a BJ until she was with me.
When they "came up" the key was honesty and communication, she asked me to tell her what I liked and asked me to tell her if I did not like something she did. I never would push her away, and I loved teaching her. Patients was also important.
I used lots of encouragement " that feels great" "don't stop" etc and used things like " that's nice but I prefer ...."
The end result is a women that can really give great BJ's and I am happy!

On a seriouse note, communication is key to all things sexual, this should not be communicated by being pushed away!

Have fun, keep practicing and ask questions

[oxfordsea]

Originally Posted by xxLadyJxx

Hey guys,

I just can't seem to get my bf to cum with my mouth. I have made him cum with my hand and also during sex. And before you say that the problem may not be me, it is me. Other girls have made him cum from bj so it's all down to me IMO. It's really starting to affect my confidence which is actually quite low anyway.

My mouth is very small I feel and I can't fit a lot of him in. A lot of the time he lies there so quiet and I wonder if it feels good, I also can't help feeling that he's bored when I'm down there. I'll be honest and say that this is actually making me not want to do it even though I really want to make him cum with my mouth so bad.

We have talked about it and he says I slow down too much and he gets frustrated. The other night I was licking him and stopped for a second and he got frustrated and annoyed at me and then pushed me away when I tried to go back down there. It wasn't the fact that he got mad that hurt me, it was the fact that he pushed me away.

I love him with all my heart but this is really getting me down. I need some tips on how to get him to cum and how to stop myself being so scared to go down on him again after what happened. I know there are a million and one threads on oral sex but I felt like I needed to start my own.

Help.

Lips. Work the head of his cock around your lips. Use your tongue on his head as well. Key? Look up occasionally. The eyes wide open look up into his eyes is a likely strong choice to get things moving in the right direction.

Lean him back onto the bed. Slowly work you tongue down to his ass. Work your tongue around his anal opening and keep your hand moving gently on his cock.

After a couple minutes tongue fucking his ass, move your tongue back to his cock.

Then go back to moving the cock around your lips. Show hints of tasting more, but don't take more. Just let the look of his dick on your lips do the trick.

I just can not imagine it will be much longer until he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth.

Wife and past girl friend have both said they like the feel of the head of my cock on the roof of their mouths and around their lips. One girlfriend aslo like to kiss the shaft of my cock.


Love to hear how things are coming along for you and your efforts to please your man.

[irvlyn]

Originally Posted by Sweetandsinful

If you can recommend any particular place to do this research, it would be appreciated . I haven't had any complaints, but I'm always looking to improve.

cup his balls, press on the base of his cock. works for me

[xxLadyJxx]

Are you honestly asking me why I'm upset? Really? Would you not be upset if people thought such horrible things about someone you love? And he treats me very well, just wanted to add that. That incident was an absolute one off and I know it wasn't acceptable.

Thanks for all the replies but I'd just like to let the thread die now.

[JamieJ424]

All due respect to your plight (let she/he who has never doubted themselves cast the first stone), but you should be having this conversation with him, not the Internet.

I also suspect that a lot of the frustration with your bf stems from knowing how difficult it is for guys to find a woman who cares about the quality of the blowjob she gives. You absolutely deserve appreciation for the effort if not the result.

BL

[jupija]

All of us who have nearly begged for the kind of attention you willingly give are appalled. But you both sound so young: time to laugh, have fun, be happy with sexual exploration, always loving and respectful. It all works out and is so much more important than any one (or many) experiences.

[Tmmldr]

Originally Posted by xxLadyJxx

Are you honestly asking me why I'm upset? Really? Would you not be upset if people thought such horrible things about someone you love? And he treats me very well, just wanted to add that. That incident was an absolute one off and I know it wasn't acceptable.

Thanks for all the replies but I'd just like to let the thread die now.

I agree, let it die. Ask similar questions though. You are sort of being attacked and forced to justify yourself in this thread. You could put them on ignore, but it's just plain kind of mean stuff going on.

[cyberking001]

I just can't seem to get my bf to cum with my mouth... I need some tips on how to get him to cum and how to stop myself being so scared ...

although this may sound dumb, you might try watching porn to observe the techniques used by the pros. given that male porn stars tend to be more hung than average, this should also help you to learn how to handle a "larger" specimen.

if you watch the porn together, it may turn both of you on well enough that he may actually climax for you. once he does, your scare factor will go way down and your confidence factor will go way up.

you might also try setting him up with a lot of foreplay, kissing him on the mouth, his nips, all around his body, gently stroking his cock and not going down on him until he is desperate. (it will also be interesting to observe how he reacts to this. if he says forget it, just suck me, or if he just pushes your head down, then he is being selfish.)

he should also be going down on you and making you cum with his lips and tongue. if he isn't willing to do that for you, then perhaps you should not be willing to do that for him.

i also tend to agree with those who say that perhaps your man also could learn a lot on how to be more patient and respectful. after all, sex is supposed to be interactive, not just one-sided! if he really cares, ask him to help you by telling you what he would like you to do.

hope all of this helps -- keep us informed.
sam

[ThinkerLover]

I had an ex-gf who used to give me oral all the time and make me cum in her mouth and while I was married, my wife had the hardest time with it (forgive the pun). She would get close and just kinda slow down. Heres what i remember on the difference. The g/f would get on the floor and wrap her hand aroung the base of my cock and firmly stroke the underside with her thumb while she sucked where my ex-wife would come at it from on the bed and witht just her mouth. The g/f's was Like a hybrid hj/bj - that way she didnt exhaust herself with the sucking. When i was oversexed it was more difficult for me to cum so she would get pissy with ne and that strangely worked also. "Baby are you going to cum?" " C'mon, already, I got shit to do." "My knees are sore, will you cum already?" that's not for everybody but it got to be really hot.

[bad_dave]

My first girlfriend could make me cum with just her mouth but my current partner can not, but heres the thing. my current partners blow jobs are a fuck load better and thats fine by me because I love being finished with a hand job or a titty wank just as much!

[xxLadyJxx]

Close thread please. I'm single again.