Lesbian Having Sex With a Man (or Vice-Versa)

[Safe_Bet]

Originally Posted by PricelessT

Safe_Bet, you're still ignoring the reliable sources I've shown you that show that there are different definitions of lesbian. I just got through agreeing with Dyslexicea that the way some people, including some researchers, define us as though sex is all we are about is frustrating. But these definitions (page 22) among researchers exist. And they exist because a lot of women define themselves as lesbian based on the things mentioned in that source.

Nope not ignoring just disagreeing for the most part. Sure there are SOME researchers who believe as you say. There are also some researchers that believe that we are all the work of the devil, have horns, eat babies and cause cancer.

What I AM saying is that the VAST majority of researchers (and thinking logical folks) agree that if you routinely, or even occasionally, fuck both men and women you are bi not lesbian.

As for you being back, you never left, right? Or someone contacted you about this thread? Either way, I'm going to go ahead and state "Welcome back." Maybe we can start over. After all, most people don't agree on everything. And people can dislike each other's beliefs while still being civil.

Actually, I been busy.... I merged the company I owned with another and then a few months ago we bought another firm. Like I said... we've been busy.

BTW, just to clarify, the first person you ever TRIED to get into it with that used this account WAS my late wife. She had passed before I responded to any of your attempts at "debate". I, frankly, give a rat's ass who you THINK I am, but I will tell you that seeing as how this weekend is the anniversary of her passing I would be VERY careful of expressing your "skepticism". I am willing to be civil with you, but if you push that particular subject I will go the fuck off.

Originally Posted by Dyslexicea

I did follow your post to find where you and Safe_Bet, by the way it was Safe_Bet's wife Amy, had your debate. After reading what Amy said I guess I'm going change my mind and agree with her. Labels are important. I'm a lesbian. I'll always be a lesbian, sexual orientation is not fluid, as some claim, unless of course your bi. If a woman enjoys relationships involving sex with a man she isn't a lesbian, she's bisexual.

Guess what, being a lesbian isn't about sex, it's about life, it's about who we are. Sex is but a minor part of our lives with other women. Even if I never have sex again I'll still be a lesbian!

Taking a deep breath. Regardless of what I've just said, I have nothing against bisexual women. I've had relationships with enough of them that Amy may have said I can't possibly be a lesbian. But I would never be with a woman who was also with a man at the same time she was with me.

Thanks.

BTW, I don't usually have an issue with bisexual women either. All I've ever asked is that they let me KNOW that they are bisexual so that I have a choice. It's when they basically lie and say that they are lesbian, then go back and fuck some dude that I have a problem. I don't like having my choice not to fuck dudes, even by proxy, taken away from me.

Originally Posted by PricelessT

It was better not mentioning Safe_Bet. Are you trying to bait her into commenting? But she did acknowledge that not all lesbians are "gold star lesbians" (as in lesbians who have never had sex with a man). She stated that she isn't one either, though her sexual interaction with a man was the result of rape. And, as a lot of us know, rape is discounted as "having had sex" in a lot of people's opinions.

I've stressed here and elsewhere that most lesbians (and most gay men) have engaged in sexual activity with the opposite sex due to heteronormative society.

Safe_Bet is against women identifying as lesbian but occasionally having sex with men, as well as women who state that they have minor sexual attraction to men while identifying as lesbian...but don't have sex with men. As you obviously remember, though maybe not my involvement, this resulted in debates between the two of us (and other people) because I feel that it is okay that these women identify as lesbian. For a lot of these women, the lesbian label fits them better than the bisexual label because their sexual attraction to men is so minor that they can't be sexually happy with men. And I see why it fits them better, especially in the case of those who don't have sex with men at all.

Geez... It's NEVER been a case of me "acknowledging" that not all lesbians are "gold star lesbians", FFS! Of course they aren't. I would dare say that the hugest part of the lesbian population isn't. To say otherwise is stupid.

In fact, one of the very, very few I have ever met was my late wife and she didn't find the idea of having M/F sex to be repulsive as much as being something that held 0% interest for her and that she strongly disliked being pressured towards by the hetero community. I on the other hand, absolutely do find the thought to be abhorrent. I'd sooner shoot myself than have sex with a man (or a woman who does). There's nothing wrong with hetero sexual attraction, it just makes ME PERSONALLY nauseous

Originally Posted by JaxRhapsody

...Im surprised the head of lesbian affairs and authority; Safe_Bet hasnt stepped in talking about "psuedo-lesbians" and how any "true" lez will get kicked out of the guild if she lay with beast(men). ....

Dude you aren't a lesbian, or even a woman, so why the freak'in hell are you even IN this convo? Your "opinion" has no validity.

Oh, and fuck off, asshat!

[chellbarr]

I slept with a gay friend once. He described it as: "Giving my balls a workout."

[FunkyPinkBitch]

Originally Posted by Dyslexicea

Strange when you have to quote yourself isn't it. What the hell, I talk to myself so I suppose I can quote myself also. Maybe even stranger is my inside self addresses me by my name.

Anyway I think I came off as a man hating lesbian, I assure you I'm not. I didn't want to imply that all men are bad lovers, so if you took it that way I apologize. But I do have to say that the majority of women I've known who happen to be with a man don't seem to have a very satisfying sex life. So I think Stella's advice is valid, if you want a good sex life with your lady she's has to be at least as satisfied as you are. Which means she gets her orgasm just like you always get yours.

I think more satisfied because we are so much more capable of sexual pleasure than you men are. One orgasms for her should never be your goal she can and should have many. Sorry guys but that is a fact!

Not to discount the rest of love making because for most of us women good love making involves much more than just orgasms. It involves so much more of our bodies than just our sexual organs.

I like girls.... But I think hubby & I have GREAT SEX! LESBIANS ROCK!!!

[Dyslexicea]

From another thread.

Originally Posted by LittleKat91

Have I not already checked into this thread? I don't know, but I'm bi and lesbian. Hit me up.

This is what Amy is speaking of, you just can't call yourself bi and lesbian, nor can you call yourself a lesbian if you want to sleep with men, even if you don't.

A bi woman can live as a lesbian but I don't know any lesbian who would call someone who desires sex with a man a lesbian, PricelessT exception noted, but I dare say you would not express your views openly among other lesbians. If you did, you would be surprised at just how civil Amy's opposition to the term lesbian being used to refer to women who are not is compared to how brutal that discussion would be.

I don't mind the discussion, it's beats the HELL out of so many threads here but everyone of you do know what lesbian means and you also damn well know it means we don't get off on men. If you get off on men, even if you're emotional side only fits with another woman, you are still bisexual. I'm sorry that there isn't a term to better fit who you are but you are not a lesbian.

[PricelessT]

Originally Posted by Safe_Bet

Nope not ignoring just disagreeing for the most part. Sure there are SOME researchers who believe as you say. There are also some researchers that believe that we are all the work of the devil, have horns, eat babies and cause cancer.

What I AM saying is that the VAST majority of researchers (and thinking logical folks) agree that if you routinely, or even occasionally, fuck both men and women you are bi not lesbian.

But that's the thing, Safe_Bet. The vast majority of researchers do not define "lesbian" the way that you do; this is clear from the source I provided. It talks about how it's generally difficult to define "lesbian" because so many researchers and women define it "differently." But I don't want to argue against how you define lesbian, or how others define the term. At least not at this time. As this thread shows, some people define "lesbian" differently. I disagree that "political lesbians" (women who only adopt the lesbian label for political reasons) are lesbians. So all that in mind, I understand perfectly well how you don't consider a woman who occasionally has sex with men to be a lesbian. I can't find men sexually attractive either, only women, and l have no desire to have sex with a man. And I can't imagine a better term other than "lesbian" to describe that.

BTW, just to clarify, the first person you ever TRIED to get into it with that used this account WAS my late wife. She had passed before I responded to any of your attempts at "debate". I, frankly, give a rat's ass who you THINK I am, but I will tell you that seeing as how this weekend is the anniversary of her passing I would be VERY careful of expressing your "skepticism". I am willing to be civil with you, but if you push that particular subject I will go the fuck off.

I didn't state otherwise about the first person I tried to get into a debate with. I stated that it wasn't your wife that I debated with. I made clear that my first post to this forum was a response the poster going by the name Safe_Bet, but then administrator Etoile "told me that Safe_Bet had died and that Safe_Bet would of course not be responding to me. Later, I met a different Safe_Bet and she told me that the original Safe_Bet was her wife and that she had now taken up the Safe_Bet screen name in her place."

I would never want to disrespect your late wife. So I apologize if it came across that way. I meant it about trying to start over with you and being civil/trying to be civil. So thanks for attempting to give it a try.