Old 01-21-2013, 08:01 PM   #1
lovecraft68
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Murphy's other laws

I'm not one for forwarding junk mail, but someone sent me this today and I got a kick out of them and thought I would share.

Personally #7 is my favorite because it gets proven to me almost every day in work.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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The queen is the most powerful piece in the game of chess and frequently has to protect the rather weak king.

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Old 01-21-2013, 09:14 PM   #2
mynameisben
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
I'm not one for forwarding junk mail, but someone sent me this today and I got a kick out of them and thought I would share.

Personally #7 is my favorite because it gets proven to me almost every day in work.

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
16. Cole's Law: thinly sliced cabbage.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:20 PM   #3
lovecraft68
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#17. Just when you think you've heard all the bad puns.....
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Something "real men" should know.

The queen is the most powerful piece in the game of chess and frequently has to protect the rather weak king.

Just like in real life.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:22 PM   #4
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17. If you laid out all the blood vessels in your body, you'd be dead.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:34 PM   #5
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The KISS principle: "Keep It Simple, Stupid."
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Old 01-21-2013, 10:32 PM   #6
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Oh, I am loving this! Stealing and posting to my timeline, lol.

#8 fits me!
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:29 PM   #7
TE999
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18. Murphy was an optimist.
19. Adams's Law: There is no such thing as an underestimate of human intelligence.
20. Fischer's Law: A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
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Artists are misunderstood. Not by people, but by themselves.

Life is but active anguish in a context of flux.

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"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Ambrose Bierce

"When my ugly ol' car won't climb the hill, I'll write a suicide note on a hundred dollar bill." 'Heavy Fuel' Dire Straits

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Old 01-21-2013, 11:37 PM   #8
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21. Kinsey's Law: The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.
22. Glasser's Law: There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done; school and prison.
23. Lee's Law: Never saw off the branch you're on unless you're hanging from it.
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I used to be disgusted, now I'm just amused.

Never be led astray into the paths of virtue.

Artists are misunderstood. Not by people, but by themselves.

Life is but active anguish in a context of flux.

"Popularity is not whether people like you, it's how many people would like you to like them." Anon.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." Ambrose Bierce

"When my ugly ol' car won't climb the hill, I'll write a suicide note on a hundred dollar bill." 'Heavy Fuel' Dire Straits

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun ..." 'Only the Good Die Young' Billy Joel

TE's stories: http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...ge=submissions
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:51 AM   #9
lovecraft68
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My personal law

Assime the worse that way anything else is a bonus
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Something "real men" should know.

The queen is the most powerful piece in the game of chess and frequently has to protect the rather weak king.

Just like in real life.
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Old 01-23-2013, 09:45 PM   #10
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Some of those sound like groucho marxism.
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