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01-21-2013, 01:02 AM
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#1001
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Literotica Guru
pplwatching is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Sitting here beside myself
Posts: 819
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I only get occasional PMs from rational people. No one ever sends me crazy, stupid, blatently sexual PMs. *sniff* What am I doing wrong? *sniff sniff*
__________________
One embrace and two worlds collide. Feel the heat of our sweet surrender.
Melt away with me there's nothing else. Time stands still when we are together.
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01-21-2013, 01:10 AM
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#1002
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 8,173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkyyounglady
wow, I have been here two hours and I could contribute here!
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Heard that! I got a ton of pm's on the very first day I signed up, and 99% were awful!
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-21-2013, 01:54 AM
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#1003
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bitchiness as an art form
blulilacgrl is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: dancing on coals and trying not to burn my feet
Posts: 5,191
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
Nope, nope....Half the pm's I get are answered with, "Have you read my profile?" I'm thinking of putting a code phrase in it to be included in the PM....then I'll know right away that they actually at least looked at it.
Something along the lines of, I do not cam. If you understand this, please put the phrase, "I am not a fuckwit" in your PM. Thanks."
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Oh my god I love that idea!!
__________________
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them ~Maya Angelou
Before you PM, introduce yourself, you can find me here... ~ House of Blu or here Sienna's Erotic Lounge
Although I am normally a little drunk and a little bitchy. Think you can handle it?
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01-21-2013, 02:26 AM
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#1004
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Literotica Guru
nflgirl81 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,094
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blulilacgrl
[laughs]
Yeah I think I may start responding to all of the "Read your profile..." PMs with "No you didn't. Read it again."
What do you think? Too mean?  |
No, I like it haha
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
Nope, nope....Half the pm's I get are answered with, "Have you read my profile?" I'm thinking of putting a code phrase in it to be included in the PM....then I'll know right away that they actually at least looked at it.
Something along the lines of, I do not cam. If you understand this, please put the phrase, "I am not a fuckwit" in your PM. Thanks."
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Now that is a great idea 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinkyyounglady
wow, I have been here two hours and I could contribute here!
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The 1st day is tough - I think you get more that 1st day than any other time. |
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01-21-2013, 02:40 AM
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#1005
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Experienced
lilmischief is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
Nope, nope....Half the pm's I get are answered with, "Have you read my profile?" I'm thinking of putting a code phrase in it to be included in the PM....then I'll know right away that they actually at least looked at it.
Something along the lines of, I do not cam. If you understand this, please put the phrase, "I am not a fuckwit" in your PM. Thanks."
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Oh this is gold  |
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01-21-2013, 02:53 AM
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#1006
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Beloved and Devoted Pet
Aurantica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 3,906
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
How about this?  |
Eep, my eyes.
Further interactions:
Quote:
Him: Maybe you should message me more often I always reply and I would live to see you
Me, playing dumb: okay!
Him, losing all sense of grammar and probably typing one-handed: Unicorn you live me deeply and wish to join me to be bound and used hard you crave my touch and use wake desperate to join ne real with no limits wake now
Me, laying it on a bit thick : Master, I want so much to be with you, please let me be with you to be bound and toyed for your pleasure. I want your touch so bad.... please let me come to you. Please let me take your thick cock
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We shall see what he sends back. |
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01-21-2013, 03:03 AM
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#1007
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Beloved and Devoted Pet
Aurantica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 3,906
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Okay, now he REALLY want photos. Does anyone have pics of a girl like above, but a little better-looking? I want it to be believable.
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01-21-2013, 09:33 AM
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#1008
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Passionate Pursuit
Christopher2012 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,675
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
Okay, now he REALLY want photos. Does anyone have pics of a girl like above, but a little better-looking? I want it to be believable.
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Go to Xhamster's photo section. They usually have a good selection. |
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01-21-2013, 12:13 PM
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#1009
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Experimental experimentor
Sweetdaisymae is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: England
Posts: 1,680
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
Okay, now he REALLY want photos. Does anyone have pics of a girl like above, but a little better-looking? I want it to be believable.
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Take your pick! http://fatsexygirls.net/ |
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01-21-2013, 03:11 PM
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#1010
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Literotica Guru
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,020
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
Okay, now he REALLY want photos. Does anyone have pics of a girl like above, but a little better-looking? I want it to be believable.
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There is some beauty to be held here ==>  CLICK ON PIC FOR SEXY |
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01-21-2013, 05:45 PM
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#1011
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 8,173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerson40
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There is some beauty to be held here ==> CLICK ON PIC FOR SEXY |
Is it the eyebrows? The woman's mouth mixed with the man's face? The Chewbacca bush? The slight hint of mustache?
This pic frightens me. 
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-21-2013, 06:20 PM
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#1012
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Sweet n Innocent
BeachMomma is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In your wildest dreams
Posts: 2,479
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerson40
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There is some beauty to be held here ==> CLICK ON PIC FOR SEXY |
Em, really, sweetie, you don't have to hide here. We love you. No matter what you look like. 
OK, I couldn't resist! I told ya I'd be back tonight in my old form! Let the games begin!
__________________
Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead.
I came to Literotica for the Eros. I stay for the Agape (LakeSailer_MI. 2013).
Random dicks don't do a damned thing for me.
I don't care how thick, how long, or how thick and long it is.
If I don't first like the man, his dick is just another dick.
I'm a nurse; I've seen more dicks than a prostitute.
DISCLAIMER: Asshat PMs will probably earn you a starring role in the PM Asshattery thread. |
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01-22-2013, 11:09 AM
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#1013
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 8,173
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Got to change something on my profile...apparently it is not obvious that I'm not a pornbot.
Several pm's today and yesterday of this variety: hi, I'm *****. I'm really horny, and your AV turns me on. Can we chat on Yahoo?
Certainly. Nothing I'd like better this morning than to selflessly service your hard-on. Can't reply with my YIM fast enough! Lol
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-22-2013, 08:03 PM
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#1014
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 8,173
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He's back! New SN.
Hey! I'm ****, **.m.****. My friends know me as the smart, funny, cute and bit sarcastic one of the group. I just got in from a run, and was on lit and saw your profile. I'd love to chat.
My friends have no idea about my sexual side, how horny or kinky I am. Nor do they know about my fantasies, and I'm not sure they would believe me if I told them. I love to explore and try new things.
I love to run, read, go out with friends, meet new people, and flirt naturally. I hope we can connect.
What are you up to this evening? I hope to hear from you soon.
What is the story here?? I haven't been around long enough to know...but this is the third one!
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-22-2013, 08:06 PM
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#1015
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 997
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
He's back! New SN.
Hey! I'm ****, **.m.****. My friends know me as the smart, funny, cute and bit sarcastic one of the group. I just got in from a run, and was on lit and saw your profile. I'd love to chat.
My friends have no idea about my sexual side, how horny or kinky I am. Nor do they know about my fantasies, and I'm not sure they would believe me if I told them. I love to explore and try new things.
I love to run, read, go out with friends, meet new people, and flirt naturally. I hope we can connect.
What are you up to this evening? I hope to hear from you soon.
What is the story here?? I haven't been around long enough to know...but this is the third one!
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I heard from him months ago.
Aside from the obvious and insincere cut and paste message, this guy sounds harmless. |
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01-22-2013, 08:11 PM
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#1016
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Sweet n Innocent
BeachMomma is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In your wildest dreams
Posts: 2,479
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
He's back! New SN.
Hey! I'm ****, **.m.****. My friends know me as the smart, funny, cute and bit sarcastic one of the group. I just got in from a run, and was on lit and saw your profile. I'd love to chat.
My friends have no idea about my sexual side, how horny or kinky I am. Nor do they know about my fantasies, and I'm not sure they would believe me if I told them. I love to explore and try new things.
I love to run, read, go out with friends, meet new people, and flirt naturally. I hope we can connect.
What are you up to this evening? I hope to hear from you soon.
What is the story here?? I haven't been around long enough to know...but this is the third one!
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Hell, I start feeling unloved if I don't get at least one/week from him.
__________________
Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead.
I came to Literotica for the Eros. I stay for the Agape (LakeSailer_MI. 2013).
Random dicks don't do a damned thing for me.
I don't care how thick, how long, or how thick and long it is.
If I don't first like the man, his dick is just another dick.
I'm a nurse; I've seen more dicks than a prostitute.
DISCLAIMER: Asshat PMs will probably earn you a starring role in the PM Asshattery thread. |
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01-22-2013, 08:26 PM
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#1017
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Literotica Guru
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,020
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
He's back! New SN.
Hey! I'm ****, **.m.****. My friends know me as the smart, funny, cute and bit sarcastic one of the group. I just got in from a run, and was on lit and saw your profile. I'd love to chat.
My friends have no idea about my sexual side, how horny or kinky I am. Nor do they know about my fantasies, and I'm not sure they would believe me if I told them. I love to explore and try new things.
I love to run, read, go out with friends, meet new people, and flirt naturally. I hope we can connect.
What are you up to this evening? I hope to hear from you soon.
What is the story here?? I haven't been around long enough to know...but this is the third one!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
I heard from him months ago.
Aside from the obvious and insincere cut and paste message, this guy sounds harmless.
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You have been served...
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01-22-2013, 08:29 PM
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#1018
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 8,173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerson40
You have been served...
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Oh, that's great! Giggling out loud, here!!
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-23-2013, 01:48 PM
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#1019
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Experimental experimentor
Sweetdaisymae is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: England
Posts: 1,680
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the latest corker....
Asshat:Looking for fun for my husband
I'm not sure if you would be interested or not but thought I would ask. I'm looking for someone to email regular with my husband. He loves talking dirty and getting talked dirty to. I don't like dirty talk so I'm trying to find someone that can arouse him in that way. Let me know if you're interested or not
Me:WTF!! I have no clue why you would ask me to provide wank fodder for your husband. No I am not interested.
I suggest you post a personal ad, do not PM peope for this!
Arrrrggggghhhhhhh!!! Seriously!
Edit to show the sender responded and apologised as it should have gone elsewhere
Last edited by Sweetdaisymae : 01-23-2013 at 02:06 PM.
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01-23-2013, 02:16 PM
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#1020
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Literotica Guru
Dreamtalking is offline
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 919
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
Okay, now he REALLY want photos. Does anyone have pics of a girl like above, but a little better-looking? I want it to be believable.
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I've just discovered this thread. It's hysterical. Every time I think 'that's so crass', someone comes along and tops it.
Aurantica - You're brilliant! I can't wait for the next instalment. |
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01-23-2013, 02:25 PM
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#1021
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Unbelievable...
pfflyerhot is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: On the edge... In the fog...
Posts: 1,719
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
He's back! New SN.
Hey! I'm ****, **.m.****. My friends know me as the smart, funny, cute and bit sarcastic one of the group. I just got in from a run, and was on lit and saw your profile. I'd love to chat.
My friends have no idea about my sexual side, how horny or kinky I am. Nor do they know about my fantasies, and I'm not sure they would believe me if I told them. I love to explore and try new things.
I love to run, read, go out with friends, meet new people, and flirt naturally. I hope we can connect.
What are you up to this evening? I hope to hear from you soon.
Yep≥ Got this very one over the weekend.
What is the story here?? I haven't been around long enough to know...but this is the third one!
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Yep. I got this very one over the weekend. |
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01-23-2013, 02:33 PM
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#1022
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Unbelievable...
pfflyerhot is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: On the edge... In the fog...
Posts: 1,719
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Another one, received first week of this year:
Quote:
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Hot You are very attractive wouldn't mind being some cougar meat
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What I dislike the most about this is the lack of punctuation... |
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01-23-2013, 06:22 PM
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#1023
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 997
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetdaisymae
Asshat:Looking for fun for my husband
I'm not sure if you would be interested or not but thought I would ask. I'm looking for someone to email regular with my husband. He loves talking dirty and getting talked dirty to. I don't like dirty talk so I'm trying to find someone that can arouse him in that way. Let me know if you're interested or not
Me:WTF!! I have no clue why you would ask me to provide wank fodder for your husband. No I am not interested.
I suggest you post a personal ad, do not PM peope for this!
Arrrrggggghhhhhhh!!! Seriously!
Edit to show the sender responded and apologised as it should have gone elsewhere
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1. Wouldn't have been the first time a guy posed as a woman with a request like that.
2. That message shouldn't have gone anywhere. |
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01-23-2013, 07:02 PM
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#1024
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Literotica Guru
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,020
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Wow. I never even thought about getting Mrs E to send out PMs and find me some nasty talkers, never mind posing as "a wife" and attempting this myself.
Ladies of Lit - I apologize on behalf of men, for the sorry, sad bunch of heedless knuckle-draggers that compose a small percentage of the male population and subject you to these rude and unsolicited proposals. Tossers, every one of 'em...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
He messaged me back with this:
hello kathleen,
Unicorn, your desire to please me becomes powerful and over whelming, you are only at peace when communicating with me, you desire to show me your face and openly honstly talk with me about any topic i desire
when you wake you will be calm and eager to please me, very eager and anxious to have my approval.
wake now
So what should I write back?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
Eep, my eyes.
Further interactions:
Quote:
Him: Maybe you should message me more often I always reply and I would live to see you
Me, playing dumb: okay!
Him, losing all sense of grammar and probably typing one-handed: Unicorn you live me deeply and wish to join me to be bound and used hard you crave my touch and use wake desperate to join ne real with no limits wake now
Me, laying it on a bit thick : Master, I want so much to be with you, please let me be with you to be bound and toyed for your pleasure. I want your touch so bad.... please let me come to you. Please let me take your thick cock
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We shall see what he sends back. |
Just checking something here Aurantica, to make sure you haven't fallen under the spell.
*checks inbox, waits for the magic* |
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01-23-2013, 07:28 PM
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#1025
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bitchiness as an art form
blulilacgrl is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: dancing on coals and trying not to burn my feet
Posts: 5,191
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
I heard from him months ago.
Aside from the obvious and insincere cut and paste message, this guy sounds harmless.
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The PM is rather harmless. What is frustrating is that he changes his username everytime he logs on. Although it is normally some derivative of Pat. Believe me if I could block and ignore him, I wouldn't be bothered by him. But it is really annoying to have to see his fucking PM every 2-4 weeks. The same damn PM showing up over and over and over again. You can't respond and say "no thanks" (tried), can't block him (tried), and apparently calling him out in an open forum will not derail this assclown!
*deep breath in and out*
Sorry but he bugs the shit out of me with the way he plays the system to harass women with his annoying ass message.
__________________
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them ~Maya Angelou
Before you PM, introduce yourself, you can find me here... ~ House of Blu or here Sienna's Erotic Lounge
Although I am normally a little drunk and a little bitchy. Think you can handle it?
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daisy xxx
