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01-19-2013, 05:52 AM
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#976
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just this guy, you know?
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: on hiatus
Posts: 10,271
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aurantica, that calls for a bitly link to anal prolapse.
ed
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer
exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."
psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
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01-19-2013, 09:14 AM
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#977
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 10,053
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper
aurantica, that calls for a bitly link to anal prolapse.
ed
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I love it! Lol
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-19-2013, 10:11 AM
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#978
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Literotica Guru
TeaforMe is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: On a ray of sunshine
Posts: 1,070
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I also got the "I am pathetic pretending to be a submissive woman" pm. Oh, and the apology. 
__________________
Tell Me Your Secrets
"A day came—of almost terrified delight and wonder—when the woman pressed a man upon her breast... How she laughed and wept over it—how love, and hope, and prayer woke again in her bosom as he nestled there."
- Author Unknown
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01-19-2013, 10:24 AM
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#979
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 999
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Don't ask me why I get more PM's from women (or men pretending to be women?) than men. Do I give off a bi vibe? I'm LGBT-friendly, but I LOVE the man in my life.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by mrs.asshat
xxxxx here from xxxxxxx----i am 54 and married and would love to chat with you here today---and also have a little fun too-------please pm me
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01-19-2013, 12:22 PM
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#980
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Daddy's Girl
Cookie123 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: In our warm, comfy bed with Daddy's arms holding me tight.
Posts: 1,675
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaforMe
I also got the "I am pathetic pretending to be a submissive woman" pm. Oh, and the apology. |
As did I!
Also woke up to a nice little note that makes me wonder if a certain 14 yr old boy is back in Lit City. |
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01-19-2013, 02:13 PM
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#981
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Beloved and Devoted Pet
Aurantica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 3,908
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper
aurantica, that calls for a bitly link to anal prolapse.
ed
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He messaged me back with this:
hello kathleen,
Unicorn, your desire to please me becomes powerful and over whelming, you are only at peace when communicating with me, you desire to show me your face and openly honstly talk with me about any topic i desire
when you wake you will be calm and eager to please me, very eager and anxious to have my approval.
wake now
So what should I write back? |
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01-19-2013, 02:28 PM
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#982
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 10,053
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
He messaged me back with this:
hello kathleen,
Unicorn, your desire to please me becomes powerful and over whelming, you are only at peace when communicating with me, you desire to show me your face and openly honstly talk with me about any topic i desire
when you wake you will be calm and eager to please me, very eager and anxious to have my approval.
wake now
So what should I write back?
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Please, oh please, oh please, ask him what he wants you to do!!! Can't wait to hear what he wants that he feels the need the hypnotize you to do it! lol
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-19-2013, 02:30 PM
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#983
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Curmudgeon Proof Antihero
Emerson40 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,125
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
He messaged me back with this:
hello kathleen,
Unicorn, your desire to please me becomes powerful and over whelming, you are only at peace when communicating with me, you desire to show me your face and openly honstly talk with me about any topic i desire
when you wake you will be calm and eager to please me, very eager and anxious to have my approval.
wake now
So what should I write back?
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Send him this:
and tell him you do wish to please, and have an unquenchable desire to fellate him. |
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01-19-2013, 02:34 PM
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#984
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Beloved and Devoted Pet
Aurantica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 3,908
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
Please, oh please, oh please, ask him what he wants you to do!!! Can't wait to hear what he wants that he feels the need the hypnotize you to do it! lol
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Sounds good!
No offense Emerson but I'd like to string him along a bit more first. |
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01-19-2013, 04:45 PM
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#985
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 999
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Some people call them PM asshats, other people call them douchebags.
10 signs you may be a douchebag |
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01-19-2013, 07:06 PM
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#986
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Literotica Guru
nflgirl81 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,097
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeachMomma
OK, I truly do not know what to make of this one:
Originally Posted by (name withheld to protect the innocent - or guilty - I'm not sure which):
I am a man pretending to be a submissive woman ..so fucking lame!
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I got that one too, but instead of saying lame he/or she asked if I wanted to chat. It was later he went on to call himself lame & pathetic. I think I might have bored him to death |
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01-19-2013, 07:39 PM
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#987
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Viva la Tarte!
blulilacgrl is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: dancing on coals and trying not to burn my feet
Posts: 5,646
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Motherfucker! Really? Seriously?
Yet again "Pat" has sent out the emails!!!
Quote:
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Originally Posted by XXXXXXX
Hey! I'm "Pat", 28.m.XXXX, smart, fun, witty and cute guy from XXXX. Or thats what my friends say I am. I saw your profile and wanted to say hello, and would love to chat.
My friends don't know my sexual side, how horny or kinky I am. Nor do they know about my fantasies, and I'm not really sure they would believe me if I told them. I love to explore and have fun, and meet new people.
I also like to run a good bit, read, sports, flirt. The basics really, but there is more than meets the eye with me. I'd love to chat and have some fun. What are you up to this afternoon?
I hope we can connect.
"Pat"
Yahoo: XXXXXX
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Jesus! What is it going to take?  |
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01-19-2013, 07:45 PM
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#988
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 10,053
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blulilacgrl
Motherfucker! Really? Seriously?
Yet again "Pat" has sent out the emails!!!
Jesus! What is it going to take? |
Ha! I got that one too!!
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-19-2013, 08:05 PM
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#989
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Really Experienced
Lion_Roar is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: West side, southwest side, middle east, rich house, dog house, outhouse, old folks house, house for unwed mothers, halfway homes, catacombs, twilight zones.
Posts: 154
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blulilacgrl
Jesus! What is it going to take? |
Castration. Nothing more, nothing less. 
__________________
"When they lay me down to sleep, I pray the funk will make me freak. If I should die before I waketh, allow me lord to rock out naked." -Chilli Peppers
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01-20-2013, 12:20 PM
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#990
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Really Experienced
OTCurve is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 121
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
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Nice link, MsQuote... and it makes me shudder that people are like that.
__________________
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
– Albert Einstein
All generalizations are false, including this one. - Mark Twain
First story
Part two
Part three - NEW
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01-20-2013, 12:30 PM
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#991
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 999
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OTCurve
Nice link, MsQuote... and it makes me shudder that people are like that.
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There are, and I live near the biggest Mecca of Douchebaggery this side New Jersey. There are actually nightclubs that have a no wife beater T-shirt/gold chains dress code. |
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01-20-2013, 05:10 PM
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#992
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We are in for it now.
fgarvb1 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Land of the Little Angel, in Texas
Posts: 12,302
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I rarely get Pm's and they are almost always normal ones.
I don't harass people or try to force myself on them.
If I get single again in the next year or so, then I, no doubt will start to flirt more.
So far I've only had to back peddle three or four times since 2000 as I let my keyboard overload my ass!
__________________
Proud Member IAM Local 1999
"You, fgarvb1, are a dinosaur who looks disturbing even as a fossil."
I reserve at least 24 hours on any posting to correct my fuck ups.
When the solution is simple, God is answering. --Albert Einstein
"Once in a lifetime every man is entitled to fall in
love with a gorgeous redhead"
The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse— who can understand it? -- Jer. 17:9
There are many systems of philosophy and political life which try to base law and all human relationships upon the nature of man. Man is made the measure of all things. All such systems, whether communism or humanism, or socialism, are doomed to fail because of one fatal flaw: they do not recognize the sinful, self-centered nature of man.
They ignore God and deify man.
BOAT = Bust Out Another Thousand
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01-20-2013, 06:57 PM
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#993
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Beloved and Devoted Pet
Aurantica is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 3,908
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
Please, oh please, oh please, ask him what he wants you to do!!! Can't wait to hear what he wants that he feels the need the hypnotize you to do it! lol
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Quote:
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Show your face and tell me about your body Unicorn you are falling in love with me and this love grows powerfully. You are aroused by me and crave my affection. When you wake you will be devoted to me and wish to be with me real life Wake now
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Its interesting how he didnt put the "pics pls" part AFTER he "re-hypnotized" me.
My reply:
Quote:
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Why don't you message me more often? I always love talking to you. If I could I'd make you talk to me three times a day! I'd even go to where you are just to be near you.
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Now for the pics..... What should I send him? |
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01-20-2013, 07:29 PM
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#994
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 10,053
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica
Its interesting how he didnt put the "pics pls" part AFTER he "re-hypnotized" me.
My reply:
Now for the pics..... What should I send him?
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How about this? 
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-20-2013, 11:31 PM
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#995
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 999
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoyDyan
How about this? |
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuch!!!!! My eyes! My eyes!
(Note: Nothing against big girls, but let's have some class.) |
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01-21-2013, 12:00 AM
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#996
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Viva la Tarte!
blulilacgrl is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: dancing on coals and trying not to burn my feet
Posts: 5,646
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Why do guys lie and say they are sending me a PM because they read my profile?
married~ I chat, tease, flirt, discuss, converse, pontificate, and sometimes even debate. But I don't cam, skype, or cyber. I like reading and came here because I wanted to work on my writing, found the boards and decided to stay and have some fun. Now if you would like to pm me, have introduced yourself on one of the public forums, and feel that I have not already answered your questions...feel free
I'm sorry but is it ambiguous? How can you read that and then say "I read your profile..." and expect a response from me?
Should I be clearer? Perhaps state Don't send me a PM if I haven't met you on the boards? I thought it was pretty clear, but maybe it isn't.
There, of course, is my sig which states the same thing, but still... |
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01-21-2013, 12:22 AM
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#997
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Literotica Guru
nflgirl81 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,097
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I remember a guy actually arguing with me. He said 'love your post but is it true you've only had sex (x amount) times since you got married' I explained that I didn't write that but he came back saying I did, went back & forth awhile....in the end I told him to look at the username & the post. Really should have just ignored him though.
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01-21-2013, 12:31 AM
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#998
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Viva la Tarte!
blulilacgrl is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: dancing on coals and trying not to burn my feet
Posts: 5,646
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nflgirl81
I remember a guy actually arguing with me. He said 'love your post but is it true you've only had sex (x amount) times since you got married' I explained that I didn't write that but he came back saying I did, went back & forth awhile....in the end I told him to look at the username & the post. Really should have just ignored him though.
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[laughs]
Yeah I think I may start responding to all of the "Read your profile..." PMs with "No you didn't. Read it again."
What do you think? Too mean? |
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01-21-2013, 12:46 AM
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#999
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Short and Sweet
JoyDyan is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Middle of a cornfield in the Midwest U.S.
Posts: 10,053
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blulilacgrl
[laughs]
Yeah I think I may start responding to all of the "Read your profile..." PMs with "No you didn't. Read it again."
What do you think? Too mean? |
Nope, nope....Half the pm's I get are answered with, "Have you read my profile?" I'm thinking of putting a code phrase in it to be included in the PM....then I'll know right away that they actually at least looked at it.
Something along the lines of, I do not cam. If you understand this, please put the phrase, "I am not a fuckwit" in your PM. Thanks."
__________________
“You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.”― Mae West
“In life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.” ― Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
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01-21-2013, 12:47 AM
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#1000
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Virgin
kinkyyounglady is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In a relatively warm place
Posts: 6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper
thanks as ever to the brightest light in the how to community sweeterika for the inspiration:
so here's the idea. a large number of lit users--esp the women, but not exclusively--get unsolicited private messages from other lit users that are just plain lame. they're often unsolicited come ons from people who are obviously just copying & pasting the same text into PMs they apparently send to everyone who ever posts.
so the request is simple: copy & paste the text of stupid/putrid/whatever unsolicited PMs you've gotten in this thread.
now, a thread like this exists in the BDSM cafe. because that thread's been around for a while and the BDSM/HT crossover appears to be fairly high, respecting the same rules seems only fair:
please do:
protect and respect the sender's right to anonymity
please do not:
provide real names.
provide nicknames/account names/IDs/screen names ... whichever you choose to call them.
provide any personal and/or identifiable information such as email addresses, phone numbers, addresses etc.
provide a picture of the person who sent you the email or PM .. unless you can prove to manu or laurel or any other admin or mod who requests said proof from you.
do anything else on this thread that is against the "terms of service" (TOS) you agreed to when you registered for an account at literotica.
everyone ready? let's go!
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wow, I have been here two hours and I could contribute here! |
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