Bi guys - input needed

[stickygirl]

I've been through the threads and can't find this answer anywhere. So... guys... how does anal sex compare to vaginal sex? I've heard guys say that anal sex is "tighter" - but is that always a good thing? Also there must be an emotional response because anal sex is often thought of as forbidden or "bad". Thanks in advance

[markus75]

Can't speak for bi-guys (I only find cock a turn on, not men), but I wouldn't say anal sex was better. Yes its tighter, but its tighter in a smaller area. Best way I can compare it would be like holding tighter when having a wank with two fingers instead of whole hand. A pussy doesn`t grip as tight, but it does `grip` more. The whole `not normal` thing comes into it, but when it comes to sexuality what the fuck is normal?

[DemianBiros]

Not weird,not abnormal,doesn't matter if the partner is M or F;it's just another flavor in the marvels of how we can enjoy one another.

[Woey]

Im a young bi guy so I havent had a lot of experience, but I prefer vagina.

Im like 8/10 straight so I enjoy anal but I still dont think it matches vagina.

[Stella_Omega]

Originally Posted by markus75

Can't speak for bi-guys (I only find cock a turn on, not men), but I wouldn't say anal sex was better. Yes its tighter, but its tighter in a smaller area. Best way I can compare it would be like holding tighter when having a wank with two fingers instead of whole hand. A pussy doesn`t grip as tight, but it does `grip` more. The whole `not normal` thing comes into it, but when it comes to sexuality what the fuck is normal?

I'm not the owner of a penis, but I've stuck a lot of fingers into a lot of holes, (And hands even!) and I think I know what you mean. And when you think about it-- A pussy's function is to close in around whatever is in it. An anus opens up once you're past the sphincter, My fingers will almost feel like I'm inside a balloon sometimes...

Of the gay men I know, you will be amazed at how few of them really care about butt fucking. So many guys like frotting or oral better-- better for both partners. This focus on M/M buttsex is kinda.. hetero. And female, I mean-- I tend to focus on it, my own self. Even though I know different.

[AlterMoose]

Apples and peaches are both fruit, but they're separate and unique entities. Anal and vaginal are both sex, but....well, you get the idea. They're both awesome, but I find that they defy a one-better-than-the-other comparison, at least from the 'giver's' point of view. I'm just as happy eating an apple as a peach.

[blonde_lad]

Vaginal sex is much easier as its self lubricating and a lot less patience is needed. But I feel this is the reason why anal is better because mentally it's what is desired because of the taboo with fucking another man and the patience you must share with the other man makes it a more caring and loving process, which is why anal with a man is better

[stickygirl]

Thanks for your responses and I suppose there are no real surprises here from the physical side, but the only references I've had have been one conversation and what you glean off the web, so not exactly comprehensive!
Perhaps I should've asked women how they would compare the two from an emotional POV, but now I'm under the wrong thread topic
I know how I feel about penetrative sex so I'm just curious: I'm a student - I'm supposed to ask questions!
Anyway, thanks again x

[klippert]

think of it like this....diddling your willy with two finger and your thumb....Or stroking your cock with a firm full grip....
What im getting at... Anal ring is just that....a ( ! ) a nice constant tight circle... next time your in the shower....push your soapy finger in your ass....you'll understand.

[TJcurious]

StickyGirl...When I was married a hundred years ago, I engaged in both with my wife. She seemed to enjoy it,..... me, not so much... Big asshole maybe?? LOL....the consensus, that I agree with, is that anal is a circular grip, somewhat tight, just around the sphincter. Once inside, no discernible sensation on the penis, except a tight sensation where the sphincter is. Vaginal is a total envelopment of the penis...like the hand gripping the whole dick....to me it was preferable.....BUT, I haven't experienced you Sticky....could be a hole different experience....

[stickygirl]

Originally Posted by TJcurious

StickyGirl...When I was married a hundred years ago, I engaged in both with my wife. She seemed to enjoy it,..... me, not so much... Big asshole maybe?? LOL....the consensus, that I agree with, is that anal is a circular grip, somewhat tight, just around the sphincter. Once inside, no discernible sensation on the penis, except a tight sensation where the sphincter is. Vaginal is a total envelopment of the penis...like the hand gripping the whole dick....to me it was preferable.....BUT, I haven't experienced you Sticky....could be a hole different experience....

Well unless you're about to send me an air ticket I fear disappointed all round Interested to note that your wife enjoyed it but you weren't so keen...

[mac_crazy]

Originally Posted by TJcurious

"....could be a hole different experience...."

Well played, sir.

[mac_crazy]

double post!!

[TJcurious]

Originally Posted by stickygirl

Well unless you're about to send me an air ticket I fear disappointed all round Interested to note that your wife enjoyed it but you weren't so keen...

Why is it the great ones are located half way around the world?? Perhaps we will meet sometime.....so in the meanwhile, only in my dreams, and fantasies......
I'm not really sure why the misses enjoyed it....she never did say. But she did have an issue with constipation, maybe I assisted in that respect??

[TJcurious]

Originally Posted by mac_crazy

Well played, sir.

Keen eye, my friend,....not a misspelling, for sure!!

[stickygirl]

Originally Posted by TJcurious

Keen eye, my friend,....not a misspelling, for sure!!

...myeah... I saw them and groaned quietly
I'm touched that my happenis is close to your heart Hopefully I'll get to bottom of this and I'll be sure to keep you abreast of anything that comes up

[TJcurious]

Originally Posted by mac_crazy

Well played, sir.

Originally Posted by stickygirl

...myeah... I saw them and groaned quietly
I'm touched that my happenis is close to your heart Hopefully I'll get to bottom of this and I'll be sure to keep you abreast of anything that comes up

Touche, my little lovely....you do give as well as you get!! I would swim across the pond to hear you groan, or moan, in delight....big sigh.

[Stella_Omega]

Butt-fuckers here's another question, is there a difference in the grip sensation, if the butt is riding you?

(I should find better way to ask this, but I'm LOLing too hard)

[TheObtuseOne]

I also find that a vagina generates more heat as well.

But the apples and peaches analogy says it best.

[briTO]

The piece around this, for me, is less the physicality of it (tight, loose, wet, lubed) than the aura around it. Anal sex is different. Full stop. Because anal is inherently constructed —socially, physically—vs the inherent nature of vaginal sex, is it different.

More of a mind fuck, as it were, for me.

I will say that by the time I got around to vaginal sex a good decade or so after anal: it was a fucking amazing, different, wonderful thing.

-B

[dougsan]

Have never enjoyed receiving anal. Have known few women who enjoyed receiving anal (I have a small cock so that wasn't the problem). My first wife LOVED anal and required fucking to be 50/50 vaginal/anal. I much prefered vaginal fucking because the vagina was warmer, more moist and not as tight (tightness made it harder not to climax).

[jupija]

The question here is a bit tricky - it is asked of bi guys but on the other HAND it is about orifices - a str8 guy can make love to his S.O. anally or vaginally if the S.O. is a female. So is it a question of which feels better physically or which feels better emotionally. Which emotional buttons are struck is far more compelling and with whom more than the how.

[none2_none2]

Originally Posted by Stella_Omega

...
Of the gay men I know, you will be amazed at how few of them really care about butt fucking. So many guys like frotting or oral better-- better for both partners. This focus on M/M buttsex is kinda.. hetero. And female, I mean-- I tend to focus on it, my own self. Even though I know different.

I was reading old threads just to get a feel for the breakdown, when I read across this old post of yours...

I am somewhat surprised with your experiences. Though I'm in a relationship now almost 10 years, I had about 25 years of gay single sex experiences before that. I assure you there are plenty of gay men who care about anal sex. If that wasn't the case, I would have left the gay lifestyle out of complete sexual frustration. The first two or three years of my gay sexual awakening included everything except topping someone in anal sex. I was SO sexually frustrated back then that I was sure I must be a closeted str8 who just missed not having a male figure in my life growing up. Oral sucked (pun intended). Mutual masturbation was boring. Getting fucked made me appreciate what lesbians must go through before they give up societies expectation of being mounted by a man. Finally, one day a man let me fuck him, and for the first time I knew I was gay.

As for other sexual activities once in a very RARE blue moon during my 25 years of gay single status, I might have been involved with someone who wanted frottage, but those rare times it was not used as a means to an end, but as foreplay with perhaps the exception of one or two. I can really only recall one that was what one might called a modified frottage (no taking pants off, just rubbing against each other's crotches. I remember how sexually unfulfilling the experience was. This older guy picked up a conversation with me in some bar, and ended wanting to chat and talk and go to multiple bars. I don't drink, but was a bit lonely because I was on a business trip where I knew no one, so I went ahead and went with the guy who seemed to be interested in me. Well finally he took me back to his hotel room, asked me to lay down on the bed, got on top of me and proceed to rub his crotch against mine for about 5 minutes, and when he reached what I guess was orgasm, he asked me if I was ready to go back to my hotel. I guess I should be thankful it was safe sex, but it was a complete waste of my time. I would have rather skipped the sex, and just shook hands and assumed we had a night of two lonely guys just keeping each other company.

It is also misleading to think that oral somehow is better for "both" partners. The connotation of such a statement is buying into the old stereotypes that tops in anal sex get the pleasure and that bottoms don't. Such stereotypes are hard to get over. We have the same problems sometimes with hetrosexual sex in that some assume that because the woman is being penetrated she is just doing it for the "team" (to keep her marriage and family together).

Anal sex has nothing to do with whether it is homo or hetero, but that people derive pleasure from such sex. My sexual fulfillment is about doing what I enjoy, not putting something on a scale of how gay, str8, or in between the things I do are. Sure, I think of "breeding" when I fuck, but not because I want to turn the bottom into a woman, but because it IS such an intimate act that I do wish I could mix my genes with this other person and create new life. One is so connected with another person during penetration. Oral sex still requires that you breath, that you don't gag, that you don't leave a hickey, that you don't scrape with your teeth. Plus you cannot kiss at the same time as you do oral like you can with fucking.

I actually find people who are comfortable with anal sex to be less politically correct about sex than some of those not into it:

1) Through the AIDS crisis, there was the whole guilt trip that they tried to put on anal sex. Granted it is much more easy to pass AIDS via thinner membranes of the rectum vs the acidic membranes of the mouth, but two HIV negative people do not get AIDS from anal sex with each other whether they do it once a year, or once a day. AIDS does not happen from anal sex without someone having the virus to begin with.

2) Some gay male apologists will make SURE their straight friends know that they don't do anal -- as some way indicating that they don't do that "dirty" sex or that "emasculating" activity. Do they think that someone against gay rights is going to come around to their side as long as they don't do the "nasty" stuff.

3) Some PC gay activists try to make out anal sex as being some kind of attempt to mimic heterosexuality. They are simply full of BS and are some of the same that a few years ago would have laughed at any desire for "gay" marriage as being somehow another mimic of the oppressive majority.

It may be true that younger gays are not as much into anal sex having been bombarded with the message that it is risky for disease, dirty & nasty, effeminate for the bottom, and selfish for the top. That is their choice. However, it will never die out as long as people are curious about their bodies. Even str8 men can find pleasure in anal sex.

Now granted, not every man likes anal sex. I crave being inside another guy. However, not once did I ever enjoy it on the other end. I had plenty of experiences when I first started with gay sex. I did that back then because I had been lead to believe that to be a "top" you had to be hung which I later found out was not the case. When AIDS was the rage, I asked myself why I was doing something that I never ever enjoyed and was known as more dangerous. I then realized it was silly to live my sexual life to meet someone else's expectation of what was "correct". (If we tell gays they should be authentic and not try to get married to a member of the opposite sex, then it makes no sense to turn around and tell them just how they should conduct themselves as a gay human.) I've never looked back with regrets with that decision as I had to be authentic to myself. I'm sure I was a disappointment for some potential partners that might have been interested in had I been versatile or bottom, but it just isn't me. They wouldn't have been happy, and neither would I.

[bluesky496]

Originally Posted by stickygirl

I've been through the threads and can't find this answer anywhere. So... guys... how does anal sex compare to vaginal sex? I've heard guys say that anal sex is "tighter" - but is that always a good thing? Also there must be an emotional response because anal sex is often thought of as forbidden or "bad". Thanks in advance

as a gay c.d. i cant speak about vaginal sex and as the submissive partner in any relationship i only receive anal sex but i find most of my lovers prefer oral from me ,some like to perform anal on me more as an act of humiliation or dominance rather than the actual pleasure of the act and while i willingly accept it and sometimes even enjoy it i prefer oral myself ,i have spoken to female friends on the subject and they say they quite enjoy it because their man can use his fingers on their vagina and give the sensation of double penetration without having another person present so i dont know if that helps answer your question at all but that is what i have found .

[Hitchiker69]

Difficult question. I remember one girl whose pussy was tighter than any ass I've ever fucked. She did exercises to maintain that, and was very proud of herself.

Guys tend to have thin, firm thighs and solid butts (I don't do fatties, of either gender) Most guys I had sex with wanted me to take them from behind or they wanted to ride me from above.

I'll never forget the first time I started to take a guy from behind, with him lying on his stomach. Everything was going fine and fun, when I decided to roll him over, and fuck him face to face. The sensation of taking his small firm butt in both hands, squeezing it while driving deep into his tight asshole was mind blowing! I was so surprised that it was SO GOOD that I came immediately.

Girls are fine, but they usually have soft butts and thighs, regardless the tightness/lack of tightness of the pussy. Even when I'm in the final moments, squeezing her butt and pulling it too me as I drive into her, it's not as firm or tight as a guy.

Two very different things; having a woman with soft smooth round thighs and butt, or a firm, tight hairy legged man.