Old 12-02-2012, 11:19 AM   #3551
PandoraGlitters
Sandy Survivor
 
PandoraGlitters's Avatar
 
PandoraGlitters is offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Apple
Posts: 2,457
Weekend, Dec. 1 and 2

There were 11 New Poems this weekend.

ArjayEiff's poem Your Body #2 has some commendable aspects, aside from the sexy scene which is kissing someone pretty much everywhere. I liked " wetly where they crease to leg" and thought the linebreaking was effective. Otherwise, it is pretty much a straightforward lovemaking scene.

MisterSade's 48 hours is a note to a lover prior to the act. Sade bests Eiff in semicolons.

Greenmountaineer's Carrion sharply contrasts with the erotic poetry this weekend, in subject matter and poetic mastery.

CRWestminster delivers a caution in his poem The Bottom Line which is novel in its subject though crafted in simple verse.

FridayAM's poem A Valediction: Forbidding Morning was rather how I felt this morning. Like the banked heat image.

PrincessErin's Scar turns out to be more complex than one might guess at its onset. Rather warming.

Hope everyone has had/continues to have a lovely weekend.
__________________
Some poems of mine.
Not just for breakfast . . .
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 03:15 PM   #3552
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
question by Scheherazade73

A poetic question which starts with one of the greatest prompts, ever, "What would I say," It's always easier to say it in poem, when no one else is listening. A recommended read, even though it would read better if each short chopped lines could slide into bed with the one above it.

Paradox by Scheherazade73

A nice piece which could benefit from a judicious edit. There are too many tongue tripping word combinations.

this goodbye by Scheherazade73

A sad short and poignant piece about a feeling familiar to most of us.

sis i love you by jefffinn

I don't mean to sound cruel in this comment, but so little is required of a poem or a poet, to create something called a poem. For myself, I want it to look like a poem. This piece is a sweet expression, but line length is determined by the margins and nothing else. This is fine for one's personal journal or an audience of one, but when posted for the public to read, it looks like a lack of respect for one's readers.

Always A Dreamer by ableedingheart
A sort of "to be, or not to be," soliloquy. It rhymes, but leaves the question open.

Beached by demure101
A nicely done nature descriptive.

Quartet for the End of Time by demure101
Today's must read is demure's second post. The author's notes asks if this is poetry, and it certainly is.


Knotuptoit is a new Lit poet and is a couple, according to the author's profile. Their first two Lit poems posted today. Each are sweet love poems, but fairly cliched and trite.
Of You by knotuptoit

Two, One, No by knotuptoit

Pleasure for me by catimann

A quick paced rhyming piece, worth the read.
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 07:42 PM   #3553
Scheherazade73
Really Experienced
 
Scheherazade73 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: East Coast, near lots & lots of water
Posts: 157
How Did I Not Know This Was Here?

Too busy lurking about the wrong threads.

Thanks for all the feedback on my stuff, both critical and kind.

Thank you more for giving me a quick-and-dirty to some amazing poems by truly dazzling poets. I'll be following this, now that I know it's here.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-07-2012, 05:47 PM   #3554
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
New Poems Thursday-Friday

There were five new poems today, and 8 on Thursday.

I've been under the weather and really am not clear enough in my brain right now to do a detailed review, but I will recommend that you take a look at these in particular:

Demure101: Ramblings, Remembered City and the depressing Full Circle.

FridayAm Early Music IV because it is quite original in idea and effectively done.

MisterSade: Night Dreamer (Tag You're it) because it sounds nice when read aloud and is more accessible than other of MS's poems so far (for me).

Scheherezade73 Feral companion which is short and effective and will not make you growl.

There are others by some new poets and some old friends (Remec, Sean Nelson), but these are the ones that stood out for me. Anyone else feel free to chime in.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-10-2012, 07:16 AM   #3555
PandoraGlitters
Sandy Survivor
 
PandoraGlitters's Avatar
 
PandoraGlitters is offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Apple
Posts: 2,457
There were 22 new poems on Sunday and even more on Saturday. I enjoyed the contemplation on the ephemeral that Lucy1970Harker packed in Snow. Butterflies512 has a powerful confessional in "He makes me say 'I love you'" which makes me want to urge the author into therapy, but it is gripping. Quite long. Still, I felt like I was reading the diary of a troubled young woman who is under the thumb of an even more troubled man.

litlover's poem nightly chill pleases me in its simply stated ending. I miss you like I never knew you by javawarrior pleases me even more in its felicity. Wow. "I would draw your voice /
Like it would save planets" and I simply stamp my feet in glee at sandyb's Frenchman's Street threesome. Please go by and comment on these three.

MisterSade has a couple of good lines in Hands Across Your Face and Greenmountaineer has delusional catheter leakage in the best possible way in Transurethral Resection of the Prostate.

That is all from me. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.
__________________
Some poems of mine.
Not just for breakfast . . .

Last edited by PandoraGlitters : 12-10-2012 at 04:32 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-11-2012, 02:42 PM   #3556
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
Drdirty is a new Lit poet who has submitted a good number of stories and poems in the past week. We have four poems posted today. It's a strange mix.

Parody of Pumped Up Kicks by drdirty8
Parody is a delicate art. Topicality counts for a lot. Simply taking a popular song and rewriting it with obscene lyrics is what boys do around a campfire, before they realize they can take girls on a camp out.

The Night Was Stormy by drdirty8
This one doesn't count as parody. I remember it and a dozen variations from my campfire days.

In the Heat of the Night by drdirty8
dog·ger·el (dôgr-l, dgr-) also dog·grel (dôgrl, dg-)
n.
Crudely or irregularly fashioned verse, often of a humorous or burlesque nature.


Father's Day by drdirty8I was about to give up on the dr when I read this one. It's a common theme, assessing one's parent from and adult point of view. Sometimes the parent comes out well, most often not.

Absence by drdirty8
There is something here. I don't think it is fully seasoned, but that takes time. The combination of emotion and narrative have real power. It's not ready to serve, but in the meantime, I recommend the read.

Too much of ourselves by MisterSade
Short and strangely cryptic.

To turn my back on you. by MisterSade
This one is labeled as lyrics and it's formatted to be sung aloud, with a little Rick Roll in the chorus.

True Xmas Stories by litlover2012

Doggerel with a big red bow.

The naughtiest thing by Butterflies512
This made me smile. Small intimate views of a relationship make the best love poems.

Poems in my head by Butterflies512 A meditation about waiting for inspiration.

An RCV Driver's Thoughts by Storm62

A series of rhyming couplets about a truck driver's day.


Demure gives us two winter poems today. The first is a delightful winter descriptive and the second uses the darkness of winter as an allegory for a dying relationship. Both are very well done.
The Joy of Winter by demure101

Bridge by demure101
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-13-2012, 02:19 PM   #3557
Tristesse2
chillin'
 
Tristesse2's Avatar
 
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 11,819
The date is 12:13:12 and new poems for you today.

Eyes Wide Open by Sweetest_wet is an evocative piece about oral satisfaction. It contains a few clichés but lines like…

My tongue dances behind,
slowly waltzing across the
corners of his mind,


….help to erase them.

Butterflies12 has been busy and presents four poems, Between Us , Fuck Love Stories , A visit from the butterflies and Promise me . They all held my interest to the final lines, mostly dealing with relationships, or one in particular, all are in free-form and well done. I particularly like the last one where the poet uses cuisine as a metaphor for devotion.

In Robert Frost Knew scherehazade73 invokes Frost’s poetry to explain the inevitable privacy even in close relationships. It’s a lovely little poem but I think ….Still, don't be out off by me tending to my walls….should be “put”, a typo that managed to slip through.

Stalkerjay’s an ode to phone porn has a kink at the end that had me laughing aloud and which also lifts it above other poems of the same subject.

xodarap is both depressed and depressing according to Pointless Ideals . It is a well done rhyming piece, it’s just a pity there seems to be no light at the end to lift the spirits of the reader.

Perhaps it’s the weather or the looming “fiscal cliff” but demure101’s Winter’s Day ends on a downer too.

Such was my frame of mind while reading Rampant Veritgo’s interesting poem Defuse . In free-form, the poet speculates on death from explosion and our place in the scheme of things.

Cheer up everyone, we'll all still be here next year Mayan calander or no.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-14-2012, 11:13 AM   #3558
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
Friday's new poems Dec 14

Six new poems today, four erotic and two not.

Erotic

Drdirty8 brings us nursery rhymes today. Georgie Porgy is not your average nursery rhyme. I will say only that Mr. Georgie must have a lot of propulsion to be able to swell his girfriend's eye shut with just a spurt or too. Little Jack Horner is another one which uses the proper noun Jack as a verb.

erectus123 channels Whitman in Vaginas Ripe like Figs in terms of singing and nature, that is. The idea is fine, but I am dubious about erections curved like bananas being as hot and hard as molten steel. Ouch.

Naughtily Written gives us My love affair with chocolate. Even the best Belgian bonbons do not have the effect on me as written in this poem. Either I have missed the "essence" of the act, or I am missing that erotic gene.

Non Erotic

HottieKatie gives us The Snake and the Den. This one reminds me of jokes from the schoolyard. Non-erotic? Errrrr.

The best for last: greenmountaineer posts Mona's Song which is poignant, moving, and beautifully done. My must read for today.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-17-2012, 12:58 PM   #3559
PandoraGlitters
Sandy Survivor
 
PandoraGlitters's Avatar
 
PandoraGlitters is offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Apple
Posts: 2,457
There were many many new poems Sunday. Of these I recommend Demure 101's Remembered Snow, MisterSade's The Sober Father, and Greenmountaineer's O.M.G.
__________________
Some poems of mine.
Not just for breakfast . . .
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-18-2012, 11:28 PM   #3560
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
There's a big list today and I will do my best to give each its due.

Drdirty

Before I Get Too Bad by drdirty8

This is a sweet love poem in song format, complete with a chorus. The grammar is jumbled in place and combined with a lack of punctuation, makes for a difficult read.

Not That Blind by drdirty8
Another song, but about lost love.


We have 3 submissions from Demure. All three are recommended reads, and I especially like Tapastry.
Tapestry by demure101
The Road to Samarkand by demure101
Mara by demure101

The Game by Butterflies512


Butterflies512 is a new lit poet who has posted quite a bit of work in the last month. Today she gives us four pieces.
Romeo by Butterflies512
A cautionary tale of mourning lost love

On that day by Butterflies512Sweet series of couplets.

Regardless by Butterflies512
I am happy when someone posts a poem such as this. It is simple, straightforward and honest. This is the poem I wish were written for me. I don't have a higher award.

Stray by Butterflies512
Very clever word play.

Grasshopper is a new Lit poet and gives us this first submission. It is a responsive reading about what poor deterrence to bad behavior a spanking can be at times.
Catch Me in the Act by grass_hopper9

Surprise by catimann
A sort of word association poem consisting of single word lines.


robot oracle haiku set by seannelson
A quintet of haiku. You've been warned.
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/

Last edited by bronzeage : 12-19-2012 at 02:34 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-20-2012, 01:28 PM   #3561
Tristesse2
chillin'
 
Tristesse2's Avatar
 
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 11,819
Today, of the six new poems , I can recommend Contradictions by SweetOblivion. It is a very readable poem about my least favourite poetic subject, s/M. All too often they’re graphic and tasteless but this one is gracious and explicit without being “in-your-face”. I also like the rhyming format, it does not interfere with the overall effect.

I also suggest Rich indulgences by mastersade, a short, evocative piece in free form about the joys, for both participants, of oral satisfaction.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-21-2012, 05:31 PM   #3562
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
Friday 21 December Recommendaitons

I'm afraid I am not going to have time today to comment on each of the new poems.
The ones that really stand out for me are:

SweetOblivion's So much More
Demure101's Oracles although some of it is lost one me
greenmountaineer's Tequila Sunrise
Erectus123's Light the Arc of Midnight Madness though elves give me the heebie-jeebies.

Happy Friday everyone.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-26-2012, 10:30 AM   #3563
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
Faeces Fetish by exquisitelifetime

The title says it all, sort of. This is a very wordy text style poem which is graphic in places and clinical in others. About half way through the reader will ask, "What is this shit?"

Tight Space by Cinner

A short and clever piece by Cinner.

Between the Vortex of Cunt and Ass by erectus123

This is an interesting piece and even though I have already used the word "clinical" once today, that won't prevent me from saying it again. It has a very voyeuristic quality. Even though it is written in first person, it reads like a narrative given by a someone watching through a window.

Co-dependency: Save Me by cliffgirl08


This is an interesting exploration of lost love, perhaps love broken under the weight of the baggage. The last stanza was striking:
Quote:
Come back, hold me and kiss away my pain
Wipe away my hot, sorrowful tears
Make me whole; I long for you to save me
I wish it actually worked that way.
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-02-2013, 02:53 PM   #3564
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
Our Lit poets were busy for the New Year.

Pretty Places by jenyes

Jenyes is a prolific Lit author and poet. This is a haunting piece and a recommended read.

Fire in His Eyes by greenmountaineer

A cautionary tale from Greenmountaineer.

Glimpses by Mo_B_Dick

A short piece with interesting word play, but I wish people would stop capitalizing the first word of every line.

So Hard by Pridus

A nice rhyming piece, with a few of the rhymes pushed a little too hard, but it makes up for with ending stanza.

All I Need by monamante

A sweet poem addressed to a fortunate lover. There is always a place for this kind of work.

The Embodiment of You by MyPinkPjTeddyBearDiaries

Another sweet love poem. It suffers a little for the typos, but gets the point across.


We have two very nice pieces from Sweet Oblivion. Both are worth the read.
Rained On by SweetOblivion
Warmed by Touches by SweetOblivion


A short fast paced piece by a new lit poet. It has interesting word play, but the reader is left out.

You Bring Up The Masochist In Me by PappyHallaway
Another first post by a new Lit poet. The title says it all.

Happy New Year One and All by erectus123

A Happy New Year's toast from Erectus. It touches on all the important points.
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-02-2013, 03:45 PM   #3565
Tristesse2
chillin'
 
Tristesse2's Avatar
 
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 11,819
In today’s new poems the prolific demure101 has three, 2012 , a depressed look back at the past year and life in general.

Next we have Marriage , a depressed look at the wedded state (I couldn’t help hearing Peter Cook in The Princess Bride, my bad.)

Then To M , a sweet love poem, again, rather sad but beautifully done. Cheer up d101, do.

Disobey by GaiaNymph69 is a D/s whimper, to my mind mot very poetic but that’s just me.

TwistedGTI should really read through the poem before letting it go. In Depressive Ideations I’m sure he didn’t mean “Without the shinning life of three” which makes no sense at all but escaped spell check. This is why I emphasize reading a poem, out loud if possible to really hear how it sounds. And why the rather pompous title? Apart from that, nicely done.

Silent Love by Dreamcatcher61 is a long, agonized cri-de-couer about an, apparently illicit love affair with a neighnour. It was a struggle to make it to the end. The poem could be a quarter of the length and deliver the same message. I also wish, if you’re going for a rhyming form, look at the beat of the line or it becomes a shambles.

love lives by the oxymoronically named Lust_lover313 is a prose poem pleading for loving sex as opposed to a lust driven fuck. Go figure, and read.

Comparatively new poet, aleaffalla, offers two, quench and Masque neither of which I understood but you might, go and see.

Ballad of the Midnight Crack Whore by errectus123 is not a true ballad ( FYI if you care) and pretty much unfolds as the title implies.

What a depressing start to 2013, at least poetically. Perhaps I need to hand over to someone less critical………………
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-03-2013, 03:43 PM   #3566
Tristesse2
chillin'
 
Tristesse2's Avatar
 
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 11,819
Hello, it's me again having jumped the gun yesterday (apologies to whomever's day of commendations it normally is). Anyway only three new poems today but all worth checking out.


First we have Our night-time hobby by kittencakes. No prizes for guessing what that hobby is. For a rhyming piece the rhythm is non-existent and some of the language is forced and awkward……eg: “Momentum rises, the beat does flutter. “ the word “does” is not needed and isn’t used like that in normal speech. All in all, good effort, keep writing.

Looper by HarryHill is a really nice little visual or shape poem, the shape reminds me of a dreidel. Life’s mysteries and vagaries in an eternal loop, my head hurts but good work HH.

Lastly Impermeable by neonurotic . I do love this poem, its moodiness and the brisk flow of the words. A free-form must-read IMHO with The Perfect Title (see HH's comment).

So, there's a brand new challenge for 2013 and it's a doozy. These challenges are a great way to jump-start a sluggish muse. Let's make 2013 a year to remember on the PF&D.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-05-2013, 01:55 PM   #3567
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
Friday Jan 4 recommendations

Hi Everyone -
I was negligent in my duties last Friday. Sorry about that. Here are yesterday's ...better late than never. There are some good ones in here - recommended in RED.

New poet Meurdrac brings us two: Adieu and Snapshot moves the Earth, so to speak. Both are worth reading, I recommend Snapshot, which I really liked.

Insestousbixsexual sharedDaddy's Love. This did not do it for me. To use a Tween phrase: TMI!

Eroticyates submitted: Ode to an Exotic Dancer which is exactly what the title says. It's not bad but it could use some tightening up. And sorry, but exotic dancers should not be blonde.

Exquisitelifetime had Thirsty Lust at the Junction Hotel is...strange. There are elements in it which could have been built upon, as well as some cringe-worthy lines.

dresbach submitted My Obscene Ouroboros which gets points for making me look up ouroboros (dragon eating its tail, for those of you who are equally in the dark).

Sheherezade73 writes about resolutions in First Things First. I liked this. My resolution this year is to drink MORE by the way.

SusanJillParker submits Not Necessarily in that Order which is clever and has an unexpected ending. Recommended.

SweetOblivion submits Concealment which is well crafted and has an interesting (to me at least) flow. Particularly interesting is the split word at the end of the first line. Recommended.

Willowflame submits Behemoth in the Reflection has the fabulous line of "Melancholy smiles concealing cannibal teeth" which means it gets recommended. I liked this.

Toodles, Amigos.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-08-2013, 11:24 AM   #3568
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
Alphaerotic gives us a prose style address to a lover. It's quite wordy and reads like a self help relaxtion tape.
It's a day for new Lit poets
Imagine by Alpharotica

Consort's first two submission present both ends of the cane.
Beat me. by Consort_to_the_Empress

Let me hit you. by Consort_to_the_Empress
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-10-2013, 02:55 PM   #3569
Tristesse2
chillin'
 
Tristesse2's Avatar
 
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 11,819
New Poems

DonovanCrane has chosen to use archaic language in Darkness his ode to a lover, it isn’t consistent which jars a bit …..

The Crown spreadeth, igniting upon me.
She anointeth me with love's gentle touch,
And fire courses through my soul.


Shouldn’t “courses” be couseth? Just nit-picking but it’s a long poem saying what could be distilled to, say, six lines. This new poet only has a small archive but his other poems are much better.

Meurdrac’s Old Vows Long Remembered is a short three verses. It reads a little like someone’s wedding vows but perhaps that is the intention. A little cliché-ridden and, again, not this poet’s best work.


MyOsweetOself seems fixated on raunchy dreams; both her poems in her collection of two are about sexual fantasies. With Dreams of Lust we get twenty verses of blow-by-blow porn. Not very subtle but who wants subtle porn?

beneath a blue sky by kokshur is a spatial poem but I fail to see how the shape has anything to do with, what is a really nice little slice-of-life poem. On first glance I thought it looked like a toilet with the seat raised and it still does. I must be missing something but the poem’s a keeper.

New-to-Lit poet Omgarotic has written In a moment and, although I generally don’t appreciate BDSM themed poems, this one has something in spite of some truly awful lines like the final one.

Kokshur has a way with titles, this one thrift store dress draws you in but the poem disappoints. His characteristic list-style format disguises what is really prose describing a sexual encounter.

no she said is kokshur’s third and last today. Once more it is prose in list form. It begins promisingly with the first eight lines then reverts to telling rather than showing, allowing the reader to fill in the details. It’s a nice idea that hasn’t quite gelled.

Rutting Season by HarryHill is a wild ride written in a staccato delivery that speeds as the car does. Desejo wonders at “papers skin”, I assumed it was the Cialis wrapper but have never seen how that magic pill is dressed perhaps I’m wrong. I do agree, some punctuation is missing but it’s an original approach and a fun read.

Th-th-that's all folks,
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-11-2013, 02:25 PM   #3570
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
Friday Jan 11 Recommendations

Friday Jan 11 Recommendations

SandyB Witches of Orleans is a two stanza poem in which a witch/saint watches a saint/witch burn up in passion. It's well done. Recommended.

also from SandyB Warden of Dreams is nice, though I prefer the first one since this is a bit too romantic for my tastes.

Partial2passion Well-Seasoned Brooder is a mix of short lines and longer rhyming stanzas. To me it feels like a song. Worth a look.

BuckyDuckman submits two poems today. One Broken Heart Later is cliche ridden until the last line, which adds a twist.

BuckyDuckman's Own Me is worth a look. Again, unexpected final line, and a decent flow when read out loud.

ts735B And then I knew mixes vernacular, archaic english, and french in a very unusual way. Hmmm.

Cal Y.Pygia Bejewled with Dew confused me with a garden of eden like walk in which the narrator has, per the final stanza, both breasts and penis. Transexuals in paradise? See if it makes sense to you.

erectus123 The Massage Girl is a long explicit account of happy and not so happy endings.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-15-2013, 03:20 PM   #3571
bronzeage
I am a river to my people
 
bronzeage's Avatar
 
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 48,256
Russian Doll is a new lit poet who has submitted 18 poems on her first day. This is sort of a shame, because they may pass unnoticed by many people. All are personal and intimate views of relationships. All are worth the read, but I point out these three, for special attention.

Swimming in my Soul by Russian_Doll

Broken Ballerina by Russian_Doll

Burlesque by Russian_Doll

Pickles and Bubble Baths by Russian_Doll

Spankin' , feminism , adultery ! by Ashesh9

Ashesh gives us another of his rambunctious pieces today. Lit has categories for erotic and non-erotic poetry, but a WTF category is needed for Ashesh.

Not My Fight by elphaba69
A poetic warning from a prolific lit author.


Two submissions by Demure, today. Wish you were here is a delightful love poem.
The Hour Of Not Quite Day by demure101
Wish You Were Here - by demure101

Realization by Butterflies512
This is a nice piece from Butterflies and would be even better if the one word lines were joined at reasonable points. It always sounds good in the mind, but never quite works when it reaches the reader.


Iread gives us two pieces today. The first is a pep talk and the second is a tale of sharing too much.
That's So Wrong by Iread2relax

Pick Yourself Up by Iread2relax
__________________
Nina September, now available from Zharmae Press, in paper and ebook

Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
"Mama help me. I'm looking at a naked blue eyed man." Good clean fun with the Shower Girl.
Security provided by a well armed dancing peanut.

Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-17-2013, 02:54 PM   #3572
Tristesse2
chillin'
 
Tristesse2's Avatar
 
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 11,819
Of today’s new poems are dominated by Butterflies512, a pretty prolific poet with a penchant for addenda – comments added to her submissions.

Damp squid - Her first, and her favourite she says, is Fireworks about a tryst beneath tarpaulins during pyrotechnics . Fireworks and sparks without real feeling, a little unsatisfying - and why the “kitchen” reference in the middle?

Wallmark meets Agony Aunt - Next we have Let’s Just Say , sing-song rhyming verses that tell of another dysfunctional relationship that might be functioning very well, thank you very much.

Cat got you tongue? - Words > No Words is another two/four rhyme with uneven rhythm. It’s a rather lengthy appeal for communication in a relationship.

Make me care why - Why can’t I just believe? is free form, a stream of consciousness. To be honest I didn’t finish reading it – it simply didn’t get my interest or make me care why. The same goes for the lengthy comment added afterwards

Scales from eyes - No longer entertain these thoughts is another free form piece about deceit in a relationship. Some awkward lines ….

“I no longer entertain these thoughts
But if I did
These are things I would tell you:”


Why not just “But, if I did I’d say:” ? This poet obviously love words but, sometimes, one can use too many to the detriment of the finished work.

Scary stuff - Graveyards by shoeslayer is a kind of rhyming scheme, very uneven but the idea is fun.

Slap ‘n tickle - The best feeling in the world by one of Lit’s resident BDSM fans, SweetOblivion. Since I’m not – a fan I mean – I’m no judge of the descriptions but the poem is all "tell" and no "show". Poetic porn.

Once again, an apology for the dyspeptic review but my poetic stomach is delicate these days. If, as a number of posters have said (in private of course) that my reviews stink, submit your poems on any day other than Wednesday and some other member might be kinder.

P.S. Have a look at demures101's poem from yesterday Journey . He/she plays with the form but, for the most part, it works. My pick for the day.

Last edited by Tristesse2 : 01-17-2013 at 03:06 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-18-2013, 06:19 PM   #3573
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
Friday Recommendations Jan 18

Demure101 Out of Hand is a bit unusual for Demure and explores the witchy, magical world or spells and such. Written with the usual skill and attention to rhythm. Demure's writing is almost never a miss, one almost wishes at times that he/she would post something awful just for the heck of it. Recommended of course.

CeliasAliena posts What a Girl Wants. This is a very "trippy" poem. I don't understand all of the references on first read, but it is well done and definitely worth reading and re-reading - I will. Recommended.

Sweet Oblivion posts Such a Rare Beauty. A nice way to wake up in the morning. Well executed with selective rhyme at the end of each stanza. Sets the standard for how this kind of poem can be done without spilling seed from manhoods etc. Recommended.

Eroticrose posts The Beetle is a nice story in the BDSM line. It isn't what you expect. Take a look for the story. The poem itself I feel could use some editing and reformatting. Recommended.

Demure101 has another one Kwassa Kwassa. I like this glimpse into exile and I find it really interesting that Demure writes in her style about a completely different beat - if you don't know what Kwassa Kwassa is (c'est quoi ca!?) check out Kanda Bongo Man, one of the superstars in the genre. I used to be really good at this type of dancing - been years though! oh, Recommended.

Sensibledisaster gives usOr something Like That which is graphic and ticklish. Take a look, you might enjoy it.

Sensibledisaster also posts A Gently Tug on Your Hair which is double spaced graphic.

Senisbledisaster is vocal today - his/her last of the day is To my Knees which has me wondering about string (?) but is not bad.

Overall - I thought ALL of the poems today are worth reading. I cannot remember the last time that happened. Has a page turned on Lit? Stay tuned and find out on the next episode of NPR!
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-25-2013, 03:59 PM   #3574
Desejo
Literotica Guru
 
Desejo's Avatar
 
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 586
New Poetry Recommendations, Friday Jan 25

Hmmm. I was the last person posting here a week ago: is it worth continuing to do this?
I would almost rather see more comments on the poems. I think we would start to see more poems posted, and maybe better quality,that way.

Weigh in, poets. Be like the Lorax, and speak for the trees. (Never mind. That analogy did not work).

In the meantime, Friday's offerings:

Queenie68 Yang Poem is about being a Wo-man. I appreciate the theme, and I am sure Queenie68 feels strongly about the subject. But as a poem it could use some work.

bulltlr Waiting Room has a very powerful theme, and something that many could relate to. It's not perfect, but there is thought given to the layout and it flows well. This is worth a look.

seannelson has two today. "mating on the crags EP" is a gritty take on present day Amerika. I think it would have been more powerful with less, but it is that's a personal opinion. Take a look.

Awaiting the War-heads is also worth reading. I have the same feeling about it as the first one, it is a bit overdone for my tastes. But read it and see what you think. Of the two, I prefer this one.

erectus123 The Eternal Dialogue on Valentine's Day is almost a play, setting, he said, he thought, she said, she thought. On my general theme of overdone today, I think this would have been better without the cock, cunt, assorted verbs language.

Ashesh9 has two: Cold Gloomy Inertia is quite engaging. Even with the usual !!!! I liked it.

I have a Dream celebrates MLK/Inauguration day. It's nice, although I don't know why Ashesh slips into ye olde english in the final line, we haven't spoken that way since before ye olde revolution!!

star942 Contrast captures a nice moment, but what on earth is . ???

GaiaNymph69 Untitled expresses feelings many of us probably have had, but uses ams-lingo. If u speak it u know what i mean.

SweetOblivion Tomorrow's Dreams has some great texture and textiles in it. I think I may be becoming prudish in my old age (!!!) because, as I said earlier today, I don't see the value added of words like cunt, cum, cock. There are other ways of saying those things that would make the poem stronger. But this is still well worth reading, well executed and engaging.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
  Reply With Quote

Old 01-26-2013, 12:17 PM   #3575
Mudak
Virgin
 
Mudak is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Desejo View Post
Hmmm. I was the last person posting here a week ago: is it worth continuing to do this?
I would almost rather see more comments on the poems. I think we would start to see more poems posted, and maybe better quality,that way.

Weigh in, poets. Be like the Lorax, and speak for the trees. (Never mind. That analogy did not work).
Reviews are always a good thing and always welcome, whether it comes from one person or a hundred.

I wasn't going to say this until I saw this post, but I was wondering how you decide which poems to review, since I've received almost no feedback on my poem from a couple of weeks ago, which was, ironically, a parody of a Dr Seuss work: Oh, The Places You'll Cum!
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:22 PM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.