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Old 01-13-2013, 04:19 AM   #12076
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and you get Sally going round the chimney pots.

I put in a London smog...

which does absolutely nothing good.
[I remember it. It resulted in the 'Clean Air' Act]


I put in a pile of smokeless fuel.
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Old 01-13-2013, 04:23 AM   #12077
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You get five Rastafarians with a hookah....





I put in a small pocket watch.
 

Old 01-13-2013, 04:28 AM   #12078
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You get five Rastafarians with a hookah....


I put in a small pocket watch.

but the pocket's far too small.



I put in a frozen pizza.
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Old 01-13-2013, 08:01 AM   #12079
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but the pocket's far too small.



I put in a frozen pizza.
and you get back a Tombstone which reads, "Too salty. Gone to meet Lot's wife."

I put in a rare, furry white lobster from the deep.
 

Old 01-13-2013, 08:55 AM   #12080
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and you get back a Tombstone which reads, "Too salty. Gone to meet Lot's wife."

I put in a rare, furry white lobster from the deep.

Actually, it's type of giant squid and Big Mama is not happy, so comes looking for it.



I put in a fur coat.
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Old 01-14-2013, 04:30 AM   #12081
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And you get a 60's throw back hippy chic who burned her razor along with her bra.


I put in some Nair.
 

Old 01-14-2013, 04:31 AM   #12082
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And you get a 60's throw back hippy chic who burned her razor along with her bra.

I put in some Nair.

and there's no balm when she needs it.



I put in some astringent after-shave.
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:25 AM   #12083
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and there's no balm when she needs it.



I put in some astringent after-shave.
and the Captain tells the Bosun.

I put in an Old Spice Girl...
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:55 PM   #12084
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and the Captain tells the Bosun.

I put in an Old Spice Girl...
But the sprightly, shapely blonde maiden is now a regular harridan.


I throw in a bottle of Channel
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Old 01-14-2013, 02:05 PM   #12085
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But the sprightly, shapely blonde maiden is now a regular harridan.


I throw in a bottle of Channel
and you get stuck in the Chunnel.

I put in a hovercraft...
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Old 01-14-2013, 05:37 PM   #12086
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and you get stuck in the Chunnel.

I put in a hovercraft...
- but it sucks rather than blows.




I put in a laughing policemen
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Old 01-16-2013, 04:15 AM   #12087
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But he shoots him self in the billy club..




I put in a five year old's artwork.
 

Old 01-16-2013, 06:27 AM   #12088
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But he shoots him self in the billy club..


I put in a five year old's artwork.

And you get a Very Good Offer from the Tate Modern for it.



I put in the "modern art money" used to pay for it
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Old 01-17-2013, 04:48 AM   #12089
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And you get a Very Good Offer from the Tate Modern for it.



I put in the "modern art money" used to pay for it

You get Park Place and a community chest card.


I put in three red checkers and two white pawns.
 

Old 01-17-2013, 06:59 AM   #12090
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You get Park Place and a community chest card.


I put in three red checkers and two white pawns.
and the Red Queen sits and sulks plotting someone's downfall.




I put in the ghost of Piers Gaveston.
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Old 01-17-2013, 05:07 PM   #12091
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and the Red Queen sits and sulks plotting someone's downfall.




I put in the ghost of Piers Gaveston.
And you get Piers Morgan's soul.


I put in an old top hat
 

Old 01-18-2013, 06:40 AM   #12092
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And you get Piers Morgan's soul.


I put in an old top hat
but cannot find the white tie.


I put in the old tap shoes.
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Old 01-18-2013, 11:10 AM   #12093
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but cannot find the white tie.


I put in the old tap shoes.
and out pops Mr. Bojangles.

I put in a tapped keg of Mackeson's Stout...
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:37 PM   #12094
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and out pops Mr. Bojangles.

I put in a tapped keg of Mackeson's Stout...
which, unfortunately, didn't travel very well, and is thus a bit limp.


I put in a tape measure
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:40 PM   #12095
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which, unfortunately, didn't travel very well, and is thus a bit limp.


I put in a tape measure
and you know just how long your tape is.

I put in an 8-track of Led Zeppelin...
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:42 PM   #12096
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and you know just how long your tape is.

I put in an 8-track of Led Zeppelin...
but track 9 is missing.


I put in a 10.5 inch recording tape.
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:44 PM   #12097
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but track 9 is missing.


I put in a 10.5 inch recording tape.
and it doesn't set a record.

I put in a foot-long...
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Old 01-18-2013, 02:52 PM   #12098
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and it doesn't set a record.

I put in a foot-long...
which is slightly less that 11 inches.


I put in a frozen bread roll
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Old 01-18-2013, 03:07 PM   #12099
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which is slightly less that 11 inches.


I put in a frozen bread roll
and you get a pat of frozen butter.

I put in a warm scone...
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Old 01-19-2013, 04:41 AM   #12100
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And you get crumbs on your clothes.


I put in a tea cup.
 
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