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Old 01-13-2013, 09:12 PM   #26
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bigbritish is offline
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leave him alone for a while. guy needs to figure out what he wants.
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Old 01-25-2013, 04:55 AM   #27
KitaRenee is offline
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Location: Oregon
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Old 01-25-2013, 05:02 AM   #28
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Kiwibeavergrowler is offline
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Location: Auckland
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Does that mean all issues are resolved and you're back in a happy relationship?!?
"Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means."
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Old 01-25-2013, 05:21 AM   #29
KitaRenee is offline
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No, it means we're splitting up, but on really good terms and still really close friends.
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Old 01-25-2013, 05:50 AM   #30
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shiny5437 is offline
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Just read your updated post. I'll be upfront and say that I sympathise with your BF and from my own experience can see where he's coming from.

From what you write you seem positive and excited that you are splitting from your BF.

From his point of view, his PE and sexual inadequacy has cost him his relationship and your love. It sounds like as far as those things go he's developed learned helplessness - a feeling that no matter what someone does they cannot change the situation. It's like a loss of hope and while it's tempting for people on the outside to brand him 'selfish' to not try to sort things out, this infers that he has a sense of agency and control which it's unlikely for him to feel himself. To him it's like someone demanding of him to grow taller, regrow his baldspot, or enlarge his penis.

These are early days in your breakup and just because things feel less tense and more comfortable doesn't mean he's okay. If he does feel helpless, just because he appears calm doesn't mean he's happy with the situation. You may feel relief and even a sense of release but he may be feeling resignation. If he's the sort of guy that keeps his feelings to himself he may be already distancing himself from you and not showing you his true feelings.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that each of you may be viewing this differently. You're looking forward to a future of relationships whilst he's looking at a future damned by his inability to sustain a relationship through persisting factors perceived to be beyond his control. It may be the right thing for both of you to split up but please be sensitive to how he's feeling, which I'm sure you are. Good luck.
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Old 01-28-2013, 03:18 AM   #31
sn4ke11 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 52
my advice

your a young beautiful intelligent woman with a whole life ahead of her.. dont be in too much of a rush but dont be afraid to live life either. Your gonna be pursued by men relentlessly anyway..so relax and enjoy life ..we only get one shot..
Nath x
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