The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Noor

and you get a bearded fisherman

I put in a reformulation ruling

and nobody buys the results.



I put in a "how to cure sexual neutrality" book

[Noor]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

and nobody buys the results.



I put in a "how to cure sexual neutrality" book

and you get Armageddon

I put in a bomb shelter

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Noor

and you get Armageddon

I put in a bomb shelter

but the Bomb is not happy in it.



I put in a punnet of strawberries.

[Jett_73]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

but the Bomb is not happy in it.



I put in a punnet of strawberries.

But they didn't get the joke.

I put in an over-cued laugh track.

[glynndah]

Originally Posted by Jett_73

But they didn't get the joke.

I put in an over-cued laugh track.

And you get a selection of sound effects LPs from the BBC.

I toss in an ah-oo-ga {You know what I mean.}horn and a couple of coconuts.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by glynndah

And you get a selection of sound effects LPs from the BBC.

I toss in an ah-oo-ga {You know what I mean.}horn and a couple of coconuts.

Ah - the Klaxon; such a useful warning, particularly in Fog.
Sadly, however, the sky is clear and the klaxon is silent [praise the Lord].


I put in a quiet fog horn

[Handley_Page]

~~~~ Bump ~~~~~~~~

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

Ah - the Klaxon; such a useful warning, particularly in Fog.
Sadly, however, the sky is clear and the klaxon is silent [praise the Lord].


I put in a quiet fog horn

and you get a Carl Sandburg poem.

(The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.)


I put in an unfinished poem to Patricia...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a Carl Sandburg poem.

(The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.)


I put in an unfinished poem to Patricia...

And she is still cursing the Postal Authorities, the transport system and you for not having received it - yet.


I put in a book of collected poems.

[Artina Heartflash]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

And she is still cursing the Postal Authorities, the transport system and you for not having received it - yet.


I put in a book of collected poems.

but it's missing the page which read,
"We must
We must
We must increase the bust."

I put in a wonder bra.

[Noor]

Originally Posted by Artina Heartflash

but it's missing the page which read,
"We must
We must
We must increase the bust."

I put in a wonder bra.

and you get a butt enhancer

I put in one eyelash

[glynndah]

Originally Posted by Noor

and you get a butt enhancer

I put in one eyelash

I blow on it and make a wish.

I drop in the last of the Christmas candy.

[Noor]

Originally Posted by glynndah

I blow on it and make a wish.

I drop in the last of the Christmas candy.

and you a dark chocolate covered marshmallow valentine's heart

I put in a french hair clip

[Saxon_Hart]

And you get a can of Dapper Dan left over from the "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" movie.






I put in a can of axle grease.

[Artina Heartflash]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

And you get a can of Dapper Dan left over from the "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" movie.






I put in a can of axle grease.

and you get Axl Rose offering you a thorny rose. "Welcome to the jungle."

I throw in Ghost Rider's flaming motorcycle.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Artina Heartflash

and you get Axl Rose offering you a thorny rose. "Welcome to the jungle."

I throw in Ghost Rider's flaming motorcycle.

but it squirts out all the grease in a cloud of smoke



I put in a Tyre pressure pump

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

but it squirts out all the grease in a cloud of smoke



I put in a Tyre pressure pump

and the Tyreans revolt under all that pressure.

I put in the Sherbrooke Stone for a laugh...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and the Tyreans revolt under all that pressure.

I put in the Sherbrooke Stone for a laugh...

And you're the only one laughing.



I put in a heart of gold

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

And you're the only one laughing.



I put in a heart of gold

and you get a Neil Young cd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fXaC07X5M8

I put in an Old Man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcdSWfWSqGE

[glynndah]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a Neil Young cd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fXaC07X5M8

I put in an Old Man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcdSWfWSqGE

And you get some ol' Cuban guy with a big fish.

I put in a Harvest Moon.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by glynndah

And you get some ol' Cuban guy with a big fish.

I put in a Harvest Moon.

And it sinks over Gaskers Farm [woodstock]


I put in a very large barn.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

And it sinks over Gaskers Farm [woodstock]


I put in a very large barn.

and an Amish colony moves in.

I put in an Anti-Anabaptist preacher...

[Noor]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and an Amish colony moves in.

I put in an Anti-Anabaptist preacher...

and you get a Hex sign

I put in a sheet with a hole in it

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Noor

and you get a Hex sign

I put in a sheet with a hole in it

RTFM: [it's where the chimney fits. We are talking sheets of tin roofing, ???]



I put in a new smoke stack chimney thing.

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

RTFM: [it's where the chimney fits. We are talking sheets of tin roofing, ???]



I put in a new smoke stack chimney thing.

and you get Sally going round the chimney pots.

I put in a London smog...