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Old 01-07-2013, 05:43 AM   #1
misskatuk
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how can i throw myself fully into role play without feeling stupid?

hello this is my first post but i've been lurking for years. My husband and i have never indulged in any role play but on new years eve he drunkenly admitted a fantasy he would like to act out. Basically I am going to attend a job interview with him where he is going to set me difficult tests to do and punish me when I get them wrong. I am very keen and we set a date for it and i have been busy getting props and specific underwear ready. As the day approaches I am very excited but feeling really anxious about how to act, we have an ok sex life but we have been together since we were teenagers and are best friends and never talk about sex. I'm sure the sex part will be great but i am worried that the first part will just seem ridiculous and i will find it hard to take it seriously. i really want to please him so does anyone have any advice or tips? thank you
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:24 AM   #2
amofiga
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Any sort of role play seems stupid when you think about it objectively. It's grown people "playing pretend" as a bunch of nursery school kids. Slaying imaginary dragons with a stick picked up in the woods. Having a tea party with a princess. It's unfortunate that the inhibitions of adulthood rob us of the freedom of imagination we had as kids.

I've only done limited sexual role play but have done role play as part of management training programs and things of that nature. We also do role play in my Italian class to practice language skills. If you've ever had the dream of being a professional actor, call on that feeling to help you. Basically that's what method actors do. You have to have trust in your fellow players that they will allow themselves to adobt the personality of the character they play. If all take it seriously, it can work and you might be surprised at how 5-10 minutes into it you are starting to behave as your character. If one person laughs or acts silly about it, it will fail. I remember two separate cases over the years with group role play that lasted for over an hour and by the end, people really got into it and arguments actually started because of the feelings of frustration that were developing within the scenario.

Most people have sexual fantasies, masturbation fantasies, and other fantasies that they daydream about and you don't feel stupid in your own mind when you do it. The reason you feel silly is that you are allowing another person to see into your mind and soul. You're allowing them to see the secret part of you that you indulge yourself with, but are afraid to show to others. Part of any role play working is trusting your partners and letting them know they can trust you. Many times role play scenarios whether for acting training or management training also include "trust exercises" where we have to do risky or rediculous things with the assistance of others to build trust. It seems like you've already done some "trust building" by talking about this and considering it without making your partner feel silly. Now try trusting yourself and him to be able to trust yourself. Good luck and let yourself have fun with it. Maybe you will learn that there are parts of you that like playing the role of a drunken slut or call girl or nasty school teacher or whatever. Let out those bottled feelings. It can be therapeutic.

Last edited by amofiga : 01-07-2013 at 04:41 PM.
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:16 PM   #3
njlauren
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Role play is all about fun and letting go of things, it is like Karaoke in one sense, it works because it allows us to do things we otherwise would think are silly or something....as another poster said, it is returning to childhood where play acting and role play is part of letting imaginations grow. I think the absolutely, fucking dumbest statement in the English Language is when someone tells an adult "How could you be doing that? Grow up and act like an adult". While this has meaning when someone is truly acting childish, not owning up to being an adult, it should never, ever be used when an adult decides it is okay to play, whether it is the person who loves toy trains or someone who enjoys role playing or whatever. Heck, there are whole groups of adults (Society for Creative Anachronism) who come to mind, and it rocks that people can do this.

As far as feeling stupid, ask yourself when doing this in whose eyes is this stupid...not you and your hubby, who are getting off on this..so whose eyes? The rest of society? Given how stupid the real world is, with all its horrors, boring, needless routine and not to mention politics, who are they to judge...and you will probably get hot sex out of it, and probably much better then most of those who would say it was stupid, guaranteed (if they find it silly, they probably also think that sex is missionary position only, once a week, for king and country and all that.

And wanna know something else that is cool? It is also great to laugh at how silly it is, before, during or after, it is a laugh shared between two people having a lot of fun, nothing wrong with that. I once did a scene with another sub, we were working with a pro domme I was seeing regularly at the time, and she was doing this interrogation scene for her client (who didn't want to actually have anything done to him, he loved scenes where others were 'tortured' and he was questioned for secrets....)..anyway, in the middle of it, the other sub and I kind of exchanged silent giggles between us, she and I were dressed like first class hookers, supposedly his wife and daughter being degraded, being tortured, 'raped' with a strap on, etc, and it was funny (and hot, too, don't get me wrong)..so it is okay to be silly, too, part of the fun IMO.
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Old 01-08-2013, 05:53 AM   #4
misskatuk
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thank you so much for your replies, it makes me feel a lot better, the thing is i don't think i would feel stupid role playing with a stranger its just when you've been together for nearly 10 years the other person knows you too well! going to have a few stiff drinks and throw myself into the role, hopefully this will just be the beginning........
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:04 AM   #5
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Champagne.
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:33 AM   #6
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Just throw yourself into, might feel weird at first, but the more into you are, the more he'll get into it, and you can be anyone you want. The best part, you can have full freedom to do the things you'd normally not feel comfortable doing, or taboo. Just have fun with it, see where it goes. More and more you'll start to feed off of each other. You may find a character that he just loves, and you his!

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Old 01-08-2013, 01:57 PM   #7
KlaytonFrost
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Alcohol is a good suggestion. And on a more general level, perhaps try talking about sex more. I'm impressed that you've been together ten years and barely discussed it. But the more you talk about it, the easier it gets to let yourself go in front of your partner.
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Old 01-08-2013, 02:25 PM   #8
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Yes, have a drink to relax. Work through the role in your head before. I like to be spontaneous but a few little bits of dialogue that you have planned help take a little stress off. Recognize you will feel awkward at first but if you can work through that, I think you'll have a lot of fun. It gets easier as you go. Enjoy!
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:57 PM   #9
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Don't beat yourself up if you giggle a little bit at the silliness of it all. You're role playing, and it's fun! So what if you break character a few times? Jimmy Fallon broke character in every single goddamn sketch he was in on SNL - and he parlayed that into a gig hosting a late night talk show!

Get out there and have fun with it! You'll get better at staying in character and not laughing the more you do it.

Also, post pics of the role play on the forum or it didn't happen. #LitRules
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Old 01-09-2013, 04:40 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misskatuk View Post
As the day approaches I am very excited but feeling really anxious about how to act
Sounds like a real job interview to me. You are good to go.
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:14 AM   #11
misskatuk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Primalex View Post
Sounds like a real job interview to me. You are good to go.
I love it! i was getting into character without knowing! x
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Old 01-11-2013, 11:04 AM   #12
SwitchMami
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Quote:
Originally Posted by misskatuk View Post
thank you so much for your replies, it makes me feel a lot better, the thing is i don't think i would feel stupid role playing with a stranger its just when you've been together for nearly 10 years the other person knows you too well! going to have a few stiff drinks and throw myself into the role, hopefully this will just be the beginning........
That's where the trust in the relationship is key. You guys have been together for a long time, so there may be nervousness, but your mutual trust ensures that neither of you will be teased or tormented over a mistake. And with roleplay, there are NO set rules, so do whatever the hell you want!

Tip a few drinks, then embrace this opportunity as a way to try something new ... If it helps, pretend that this character IS you, and you may not like anal, but this character does and you want his cock up your ass ... Take the opportunity to step out of yourself, and revel in it!
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Old 01-11-2013, 01:59 PM   #13
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