So, I'm new....

[DelightsGirl]

I'm new... Well kinda new to being a sub. I've known i was submissive for years just not until the past few months has it actually been acted on.

My problem is I dont get out very much, and my Fiancee is a inexperianced Dom learning his own way thru this as well, So what I'm asking i suppose is if there is any subs and doms out there willing to share their experiances being a noob. And possibly be a mentor...

[Stella_Omega]

Welcome and congrats on having a fiance that wants to take this journey with you!

What part of domination and submission calls to you? BDSM umbrella goes over a lot of stuff-- you should read the essay linked in my sig. it might make no difference at all to you, but then again-- it might.

[Chaingun]

My advice is to start reading. That will take a while as you figure out what it is that you're interested in. Because as Stella said, that's a pretty big umbrella that BDSM is under. There's a million different kinks, not all of them will be something you're interested in. Finding that spot where his kinks and yours coincide will be the nice part of your journey.

Once you feel comfortable, go to a munch in your area and meet others. There's a lot to learn and experience!

[satindesire]

I suggest you find the wiggle room in your budget to pick up The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book from Amazon.

I always recommend them to newbies because they're not "how to" books...they're "Why For" books, and to newbies, that kind of knowledge is invaluable.

http://www.amazon.com/New-Topping-Bo.../dp/1890159360

http://www.amazon.com/The-Bottoming-..._bxgy_b_text_y

[Evil_Geoff]

You live in Dallas.

Get out from behind your computer and find your local munches, play spaces and educational events. There are a TON of them in Dallas.

Ambrosia has a web page devoted to DFW resources:
http://www.evilmonk.org/a/tx_dfw.cfm

There is an entire website devoted to BDSM resources in Dallas:
http://www.dallasbdsm.com/

SceneUSA:
http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

Not the easiest site to navigate but tons of local links - Caryl's BDSM Page:
http://www.drkdesyre.com/

If those aren't enough to get you connected, Google and Bing are your friends, don't be afraid to use them. :-)

Best of Luck,
- Geoff

[DelightsGirl]

Oh!!!! Thank You Guys!!!! I will most definitely be looking into those books, And if i dont reply to every pm I've gotten please dont feel offended.

[bhndblueyes88]

Originally Posted by DelightsGirl

Oh!!!! Thank You Guys!!!! I will most definitely be looking into those books, And if i dont reply to every pm I've gotten please dont feel offended.

Awwww she's such a NICE newbie. I want to squeak her cheeks.

[DelightsGirl]

Originally Posted by bhndblueyes88

Awwww she's such a NICE newbie. I want to squeak her cheeks.

LOL, Do I sense sarcasim?

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by DelightsGirl

LOL, Do I sense sarcasim?

Probably not. (Not to speak for BBE or anything.) We've gotten so many bitchy-ass noobs here lately that you're a refreshing change.

[DelightsGirl]

Heh, I've honestly lurked around on lit for years now... Only been recently i started trying to be more active.

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by DelightsGirl

Heh, I've honestly lurked around on lit for years now... Only been recently i started trying to be more active.

That would be why, then. You already knew the tone of the place before you posted, instead of busting in and telling us all that we suck. Yay, you!

[DelightsGirl]

Lol.... Why anybody would think we all suck is beyond me unless of course said person is referring to us sucking dick then that would be correct

[Chaingun]

Originally Posted by DelightsGirl

Lol.... Why anybody would think we all suck is beyond me unless of course said person is referring to us sucking dick then that would be correct

Well some people are really assholes. It's refreshing that you're not one of them.

[DelightsGirl]

*blushes profusely* all these compliments are gonna go to my head i swear

[bhndblueyes88]

while I do love to indulge in sarcasm on the occasion I was not doing so at that moment.

[DelightsGirl]

Originally Posted by bhndblueyes88

while I do love to indulge in sarcasm on the occasion I was not doing so at that moment.

WOOT!!!!!!!! *giggles*

[BiBunny]

Originally Posted by Chaingun

Well some people are really assholes.

I resemble that remark.

[njlauren]

There are a ton of resources out there now that didn't exist not so many years ago, the net especially has been invaluable (yeah, I know, duh, posting this on a website, I know). Besides reading (check out the greenery press website, some really cool books there) I highly encourage you to try and find local groups, whether through munches or when they hold regular meetings. I don't know what is in the dallas area (fortunately people posted links) but a lot of BD/SM groups hold regular meetings where they often discuss BD/SM play or do demos on different things, and they can be invaluable. Among other things, being around others, you start to get an idea of what you may or may not want to do, you tend to meet people from the casual to people who this is really a lifestyle, like D/s couples, and one thing I learned from going to the meetings is that most BD/SM people are only too willing and happy to help out people learning the ropes (so to speak), there are of course some jerks, but most people in those groups were new once themselves and so they understand. I realize it can be hard to take that step, because of fears of someone finding out and so forth, but between the way BD/SM is no longer quite as edgy as it once was, and also that if you go to a place like that the people there are into it as well, so who is going to judge you, and these meeting are low pressure, not like some scary type person is going to grab you, tie you up and make you listen to their collection of Pat Boone records until you start barfing

[KoPilot]

Read read read read read.

Also, don't feel like you have to "get off your butt" and go meet other kinksters or anything. You really don't have to make friends with everyone else in Dallas that likes being spanked or anything like that. The important part is to figure out what you like and how you like it. If that involves other people, great, and if not, don't let anyone try and tell you otherwise.

Credentials: a kinky fucker that wouldn't be found at a munch in a million years

[DelightsGirl]

haha, thanx sweetie.