Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > BDSM Talk

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 12-03-2012, 05:27 AM   #51
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
 
satindesire's Avatar
 
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by echoplex View Post
Somewhere along the line someone said something to the effect that BDSM was not some sort of "gimmick." Well, this is where the little red light goes off for me. I see it as a gimmick, maybe not as a whole and I'd never write it completely off as such. It's just that it seems to have at least become, somewhat of a gimmick.
So you're either a Bottom or a Top, instead of a Dominant or Submissive, or a Master or a Slave.

There's no shame in only being interested in BDSM "a little bit".

However, just because you're only interested in BDSM "A little bit", doesn't mean that everyone who is into BDSM has the same BDSM orientation as you.

This thread in a nutshell:

"I'm heterosexual. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be homosexual. I'm a guy and I only like women, and I think anyone who would try and only have sex with men would get bored after a while and HAVE to fuck a woman, because I just don't "get" homosexuality."

Replace BDSM orientation with sexual orientation, then go back and re-read your posts.

Now you have your own answers to your own questions.
__________________
Wave your Geek Flag high with The Nerd Herd!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=756470

Are you cosmetically clueless? Do you want to learn how to look like a bombshell in the comfort of your own home? Come visit my Noble-Prize winning thread and ask your questions to The Makeup Fairy!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=802027
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-03-2012, 09:01 PM   #52
Beth12345
Really Experienced
 
Beth12345's Avatar
 
Beth12345 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 125
Satindesire... GREAT answer!
__________________

Sex should be wild. Unfettered and free. We're animals, aren't we?

Favorite threads:
Control
Good and Rough
Oral Servitude
Favorite BDSM Photos
Cocksuckers!
Throat Fucking Porn
What are you CRAVING?

My BDSM score:
Submissive -100%
Experimental -86%
Bondage -75%
Degradation -64%
Switch -61%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur -57%
Masochist -54%
Sadist -50%
Vanilla -14%
Dominant -11%
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:03 AM   #53
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
 
satindesire's Avatar
 
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth12345 View Post
Satindesire... GREAT answer!
Thanks!

I got a PM in which my answer was deemed "ANGRY" and I was told to "calm down", so that lets me know that not everyone read "angry" in my reply.

I appreciate that a lot, actually.
__________________
Wave your Geek Flag high with The Nerd Herd!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=756470

Are you cosmetically clueless? Do you want to learn how to look like a bombshell in the comfort of your own home? Come visit my Noble-Prize winning thread and ask your questions to The Makeup Fairy!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=802027
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:09 AM   #54
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Shaken, not stirred
Posts: 39,574
Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
Thanks!

I got a PM in which my answer was deemed "ANGRY" and I was told to "calm down", so that lets me know that not everyone read "angry" in my reply.

I appreciate that a lot, actually.
"angry?" really?

Projection, litster be thy name.

__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:10 AM   #55
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
 
satindesire's Avatar
 
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
"angry?" really?

Projection, litster be thy name.

I dunno.

I have my own thought process about the situation. We'll see what his next reply is.
__________________
Wave your Geek Flag high with The Nerd Herd!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=756470

Are you cosmetically clueless? Do you want to learn how to look like a bombshell in the comfort of your own home? Come visit my Noble-Prize winning thread and ask your questions to The Makeup Fairy!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=802027
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:12 AM   #56
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Shaken, not stirred
Posts: 39,574
Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
I dunno.

I have my own thought process about the situation. We'll see what his next reply is.
Oh, that other thing.

See, I try and be charitable, and my charity is drop kicked into the gutter again.
__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:14 AM   #57
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
 
satindesire's Avatar
 
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
Oh, that other thing.

See, I try and be charitable, and my charity is drop kicked into the gutter again.
It really makes it hard to get up in the morning sometimes, doesn't it?

*shared commiseration moment*
__________________
Wave your Geek Flag high with The Nerd Herd!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=756470

Are you cosmetically clueless? Do you want to learn how to look like a bombshell in the comfort of your own home? Come visit my Noble-Prize winning thread and ask your questions to The Makeup Fairy!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=802027
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:22 AM   #58
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
 
Sir_Winston54's Avatar
 
Sir_Winston54 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In the trackless depths of my imagination...
Posts: 14,027
Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
Thanks!

I got a PM in which my answer was deemed "ANGRY" and I was told to "calm down", so that lets me know that not everyone read "angry" in my reply.

I appreciate that a lot, actually.
I know more than a wee bit about angry; your post wasn't in the same county as angry. It was thoughtful and amusing.

'Twas, as Beth said, a
Quote:
GREAT answer!
__________________
4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.

Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
[Jacked from Wenchie's friend's Facebook page. Thanks!]

If you or a loved one has been attacked by cancer
and you're not familiar with the "Fuck You, Cancer" thread,
please feel free to click the button above.
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-04-2012, 02:26 AM   #59
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
 
satindesire's Avatar
 
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
I know more than a wee bit about angry; your post wasn't in the same county as angry. It was thoughtful and amusing.

'Twas, as Beth said, a
You've seen me angry. You know better than most. *nods*
__________________
Wave your Geek Flag high with The Nerd Herd!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=756470

Are you cosmetically clueless? Do you want to learn how to look like a bombshell in the comfort of your own home? Come visit my Noble-Prize winning thread and ask your questions to The Makeup Fairy!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=802027
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-05-2012, 03:35 AM   #60
graceanne
Literotica Guru
 
graceanne's Avatar
 
graceanne is offline
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Oregon, US
Posts: 27,472
Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
You've seen me angry. You know better than most. *nods*
This. Only someone who's never seen you angry would think that your reply was angry.

Newbies.

Don't worry, they'll learn.
__________________

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world,
had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
~Barbara Jordan
*~*~*
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
*~*~*
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs - jolted by every pebble on the road.
~Henry Ward Beecher
*~*~*
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing.
~Michael Pritchard

*~*~*


My Stories
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-05-2012, 03:46 AM   #61
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
 
satindesire's Avatar
 
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by graceanne View Post
This. Only someone who's never seen you angry would think that your reply was angry.

Newbies.

Don't worry, they'll learn.
I have to agree, it's not someone who's well known on this board or on the How To boards.
__________________
Wave your Geek Flag high with The Nerd Herd!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=756470

Are you cosmetically clueless? Do you want to learn how to look like a bombshell in the comfort of your own home? Come visit my Noble-Prize winning thread and ask your questions to The Makeup Fairy!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=802027
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-05-2012, 04:30 AM   #62
Kurokami
An Erotic A.I
 
Kurokami's Avatar
 
Kurokami is online now
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 1,296
Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire View Post
So you're either a Bottom or a Top, instead of a Dominant or Submissive, or a Master or a Slave.

There's no shame in only being interested in BDSM "a little bit".

However, just because you're only interested in BDSM "A little bit", doesn't mean that everyone who is into BDSM has the same BDSM orientation as you.

This thread in a nutshell:

"I'm heterosexual. I can't imagine why anyone would want to be homosexual. I'm a guy and I only like women, and I think anyone who would try and only have sex with men would get bored after a while and HAVE to fuck a woman, because I just don't "get" homosexuality."

Replace BDSM orientation with sexual orientation, then go back and re-read your posts.

Now you have your own answers to your own questions.
I'm glad you said that, because I would have been far, far more uncharitable in my assessment.

Basically this: the OP's ignorance of this subject and unwillingness to learn before saying things does not have an effect on reality. It just makes them look like an uninformed loudmouth.

Maybe that's mean, I don't care. I get twitchy when people make blanket statements about things in the same breath as saying they haven't really investigated it.
__________________
Click here to see my work on Lit.

Did you know I have a writing blog? Check it out here!


"have i mentioned recently that you are one of my all-time favorite posters here, just in general?... you've got moxie, kid!"- Lord_Steve
  Reply With Quote

Old 12-10-2012, 03:14 AM   #63
Acktion
Really Really Experienced
 
Acktion is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Somewhere in between the waking world and those of dreams.
Posts: 399
Hmmm

Echo, I've read your response and I must say that I am even more puzzled.

I think, maybe, part of the issue is that bondage, sadomasochism, fetishism, and dominance-submission tend to get lumped together. Or perhaps, I am misunderstanding some of your phrase choices.

First, let's focus on the line item "it's a gimmick". Honey, it's ALL a gimmick. Oral sex, anal sex, sensual massage, toys... you name it and it is a "gimmick" to keep the embers burning. It is basically the same thing as eating food. You don't eat the same food for every meal every day. If you don't like Thai Food, then pick another restaurant. But, it's still some combination of food. In this particular instance, some people just like some extra spice.

Second, it is not a clear cut boundary. On this side of the line you are a fetishist and on the other side of the line, you aren't? Um, not so much. It's a spectrum. I don't just mean from a light tug on the hair while you take her from behind versus swinging a flogger. I mean in how you use the flogger alone, there can be an infinite number of variations. Very, very few people that do employ a flogger, to stick with this example, actually use it in a manner that breaks the skin. Perhaps a "love stripe" or three. Perhaps light taps. Perhaps it never actually touches their skin at all, but is made to pop close by, so that they can feel the air, but not the flogger as it "snaps". In "vanilla" sex, do you always use the same stroke, the same depth, the same rhythm?

Finally, I will say that as I and my partner have aged, that yes, we have had to tone it down a notch or three. But, hey, I can't fold myself in half and have sex in bucket seats any more either. Nor can I thrust as hard with my hips while inside her just in missionary position. We haven't quite reached the "break a hip" stage yet, but other mounting issues keep us from being as... vigorous in virtually any "gimmick" which we choose to employ. Do we miss being that vigorous? Sure, sometimes. But, we also miss remembering what it was we got up to do and "why the hell am I peeing in the refrigerator? And what the hell is in that glass I brought with me and where'd I get it from?"

Anyway, I don't know if I even came close to answering your actual question or if I completely misunderstood. Many moons ago, I actually studied this subject in college during that time period I thought I might actually want to be a sex therapist. But, I went back for a degree in something else because I got tired of saying "for fuck's sake, just TALK to your partner and, more importantly LISTEN". But, I still know the tune well enough to hum a few bars. While "Shades of Grey" might be a good, fun read I wouldn't stop there if you are really curious. Peter Master's has a pretty good starter book out, or if you want the nitty gritty psychological analysis, there are some published research studies.

Salute and, whatever you choose to do, have a little fun with it. Life is too short NOT to enjoy sex with the one you are with. Whatever the flavor.
__________________
The difference between genius and stupidity is usually the audience.

Stories
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:10 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.