Beck, create ONE thread. No more. You can place it in the cafe, if you like. Lots of us have them.
Then you can place your posts of this type into it instead of this everlasting top posting you do.
Your problem is not actually BDSM, you know-- it's your relationship. You are unhappy with it, and you know it, and she is not going to change things the way you wish they could be-- and you know that it's not so easy to find another woman who will accept you as a pup. The truth is, very few human women want a relationship as limited as a petplay one for a primary.
There are ways to search for other partners, but that wouldn't be on literotica. Collarme, maybe? Or fetlife?