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11-07-2012, 11:43 AM
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#6501
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Really Really Experienced
HarryHill is online now
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 409
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Thanks to Twelve Oh, Desejo, Demure, n Tazz for comments on 'madness' I am still wondering if it is a ballad... I gave up counting beats and wrote what sounded right (or close to) in my thoughts
Harry
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P.S. On to the next challenge????
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11-07-2012, 12:36 PM
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#6502
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On reflection.....
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 10,336
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My thanks to Bronzie for the mention of Toasted Transgressions and Hard Sell and to desejo, Angeline, 1201, Tazz, RubenesqueAphrodite and demure101 for their kind words. I was testing a new sound recorder, glad it worked. |
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11-08-2012, 05:28 PM
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#6503
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Really Really Experienced
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 300
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Thanks to Tristesse for her mention of White Wolf in New Poems - I don't like it either and I agree it needs work. I had put in a note explaining that it was from the challenge and a condition of the challenge was to post it (which I did only to play fair) but the note was not posted online. Form poetry is not my forte and I didn't like what I came up with enough to perfect it. Sorry to waste everyone's time.
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
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11-08-2012, 09:10 PM
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#6504
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On reflection.....
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 10,336
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Desejo
Thanks to Tristesse for her mention of White Wolf in New Poems - I don't like it either and I agree it needs work. I had put in a note explaining that it was from the challenge and a condition of the challenge was to post it (which I did only to play fair) but the note was not posted online. Form poetry is not my forte and I didn't like what I came up with enough to perfect it. Sorry to waste everyone's time.
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Stop that this minute, it's a joy and privilege to read your work. White Wolf is atmospheric and very readable, it's only because you've produced better poems that I nit-picked. |
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11-08-2012, 10:14 PM
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#6505
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Sandy Survivor
PandoraGlitters is offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Apple
Posts: 2,457
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Desejo, you are too modest (probably always have been) and Tristesse, you are an amazing contributor in terms both of comments and poetry. You are two of the writers who inspire me here, so . . . well some things just need said. Thank you both.
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11-10-2012, 09:58 AM
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#6506
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Really Really Experienced
njoyjade is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 393
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Desejo,
Your light shines bright!
You have been true to yourself.
You are good at being you, and that ( for many) is no easy task.
You and countless others here spread positive energy while reminding us to always look forward and UP!
Quote:
Maria2394
Eve and Angeline, Tess and a couple others took me in and helped me so much.......
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p.s.
I know beans about writing formal poetry, meanwhile
you set a good example of writing poetry about what you know
in good form
p.s.s ?
I bet Maria would say the same, only better!
__________________
njoy today
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
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11-10-2012, 06:44 PM
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#6507
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Really Really Experienced
njoyjade is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 393
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzara
I do not
understand
how your few
words,
little bird
tracks
pressed into open
snow, stir
my dulled root
are you rain?
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My personal interpretation of these "few words" lands well into the zone of erotic. 
__________________
njoy today
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
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11-10-2012, 06:53 PM
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#6508
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Really Really Experienced
njoyjade is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 393
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Thank you Desejo for feedback on my recent poem.
A twenty-eight year relationship creates a vast amount of experience to draw/learn from.
(yes I was 18 when we met. barely lol)
__________________
njoy today
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
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11-10-2012, 10:35 PM
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#6509
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Really Really Experienced
njoyjade is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 393
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Still love the one I'm with!
I appreciate comments and feedback.
Poetry can sometimes be case sensitive and in this case the interpretation was left too vague.
Sometimes my poems are based upon memories of times long ago.
Please consider that I was born in 1965, have memories dating back to before the age of 2 and at eighteen, met and am still with my best friend.
Life is good!
Quote:
Originally Posted by njoyjade
Thank you Desejo for feedback on my recent poem.
A twenty-eight year relationship creates a vast amount of experience to draw/learn from.
(yes I was 18 when we met. barely lol)
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__________________
njoy today
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
Last edited by njoyjade : 11-10-2012 at 10:36 PM.
Reason: Missed an S darn dats it! )
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11-16-2012, 12:26 PM
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#6510
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Poet Chick
Angeline is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birdnest
Posts: 22,468
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Tess, thank you for recommending my poem and thanks to those who commented. I'll always think of Boo as someone with great humor and eager to learn more more more. She is my kinda girl and writing the poem helped me deal with my sadness about her.
__________________
Anger and tenderness: my selves.
And now I can believe they breathe in me
as angels, not polarities.
Anger and tenderness: the spider's genius
to spin and weave in the same action
from her own body, anywhere --
even from a broken web.
~Adrienne Rich, Integrity
Weep
Poems
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11-17-2012, 10:21 PM
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#6511
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Literotica Guru
Neonurotic is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Moab
Posts: 546
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Thanks Desejo for recommending my poem "A Snowblind" and I liked your comment about making a word change and will do just that. Thanks to those for commenting as well. Much appreciated.
@ Ange, really, thanks for that poem for Boo, it really did resonate well with me. You're also right about writing a poem being a salve for grief. I've written many of those over the last few years and I do find it helps immensely. |
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11-19-2012, 05:34 PM
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#6512
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Literotica Guru
fridayam is offline
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 536
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Thank you to HarryHill and Desejo for their comments and votes on "Care".
Desejo-- a pantechnicon is current usage for a large lorry that will contain your whole life: ask any mover! Also, all the alternative words are very unspecific as to size or capacity. Besides, the word works rhythmically |
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11-19-2012, 11:00 PM
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#6513
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Really Really Experienced
Desejo is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 300
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fridayam
Desejo-- a pantechnicon is current usage for a large lorry that will contain your whole life: ask any mover! Also, all the alternative words are very unspecific as to size or capacity. Besides, the word works rhythmically |
Well. Maybe in the UK, In the US I am willing to be we just say "a big-ass truck" or something similar. Americans? Am I right? Or just uncultured?
__________________
“I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
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11-20-2012, 07:21 AM
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#6514
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Literotica Guru
fridayam is offline
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 536
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Desejo
Well. Maybe in the UK, In the US I am willing to be we just say "a big-ass truck" or something similar. Americans? Am I right? Or just uncultured? |
"Care is a big-ass truck." Hmm, it has a certain something.... |
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11-30-2012, 05:13 PM
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#6515
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Gerund Whore
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 10,827
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Thank you to HarryHill, Cinner and Tazz for your kind words on my Double Acrostic Tapestry
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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11-30-2012, 08:20 PM
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#6516
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Really Really Experienced
HarryHill is online now
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 409
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell
Thank you to HarryHill, Cinner and Tazz for your kind words on my Double Acrostic Tapestry |
How long did it take to write that?
..
BY THE WAY...
Thanks to Ashesh9, MisterSade, and always Tazz317 for their comments on 'Three for Thee'...
The rest of you ..Phibbbitttt!
Last edited by HarryHill : 12-01-2012 at 12:45 PM.
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12-01-2012, 07:20 PM
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#6517
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Really Really Experienced
njoyjade is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 393
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Thank you Tristesse2 for your comments and feedback.
Also thanks to HarryHill, Mo_B_Dick and Tazz !
__________________
njoy today
"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.” Michelangelo
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12-01-2012, 08:29 PM
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#6518
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Gerund Whore
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 10,827
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill
How long did it take to write that?
..
BY THE WAY...
Thanks to Ashesh9, MisterSade, and always Tazz317 for their comments on 'Three for Thee'...
The rest of you ..Phibbbitttt!
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The Poem or this comment? I held off with the comment hoping I'd get a mention in despatches .......... the Poem not sure I had to go and cook dinner half way through!
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
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12-01-2012, 10:02 PM
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#6519
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Really Really Experienced
HarryHill is online now
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: 7 miles from Backwater
Posts: 409
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderYourSpell
The Poem or this comment? I held off with the comment hoping I'd get a mention in despatches .......... the Poem not sure I had to go and cook dinner half way through!
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Love, Love, Loved the poem... was railing at the lack of interest in my submission... pretty fast then....sigh
despatches? |
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12-02-2012, 11:16 AM
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#6520
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Gerund Whore
UnderYourSpell is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
Posts: 10,827
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill
Love, Love, Loved the poem... was railing at the lack of interest in my submission... pretty fast then....sigh
despatches?
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Sorry it is my bad I will go and find your poem immediately ....... I have read and remarked I hope it pleases 
__________________
Blessed are the cracked for it is they that let in the light
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient.
But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
If at first you don't succeed....skydiving is not for you ....
If you don't pay your exorcist .... do you get repossessed?
I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
....But I, being poor, have only my dreams, I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.......
Nil Caborundum illigitimi
Sestina slut
Annie submits
Last edited by UnderYourSpell : 12-02-2012 at 11:31 AM.
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12-02-2012, 05:34 PM
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#6521
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Really Really Experienced
greenmountaineer is online now
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 442
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Thanks to Dora for the mention of "Carrion" in NPR as well as a belated one for "Pediatric Wing" and Desejo for "Curtains."
Thanks too to double H for his comments, Angeline, Sweet O. and the others.
You're right, Dora. This site keeps calling you back. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, AKA, 1201? I miss his acerbic wit and wisdom.
Last edited by greenmountaineer : 12-02-2012 at 06:48 PM.
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12-02-2012, 05:37 PM
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#6522
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Literotica Guru
fridayam is offline
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 536
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Thank you to Pandora for her recommend of "A Valediction:Forbidding Morning" and to SweetOblivion for the kind comment.
Btw, the submission process cut off my addendum, "With apologies to John Donne".
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12-04-2012, 08:20 PM
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#6523
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On reflection.....
Tristesse2 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: where you'd like to be
Posts: 10,336
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Apologies for the short notice....
.....but i'm unable to do Thursday this week.
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12-04-2012, 08:28 PM
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#6524
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Really Experienced
Scheherazade73 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: East Coast, near lots & lots of water
Posts: 147
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Oops. Guilty. Sorry...
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12-05-2012, 11:04 PM
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#6525
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Poet Chick
Angeline is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birdnest
Posts: 22,468
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Just dropping in to share this incredible poetry that someone was kind enough to share with me. Spend some time reading. You will be delighted by it, I predict.
__________________
Anger and tenderness: my selves.
And now I can believe they breathe in me
as angels, not polarities.
Anger and tenderness: the spider's genius
to spin and weave in the same action
from her own body, anywhere --
even from a broken web.
~Adrienne Rich, Integrity
Weep
Poems
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