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11-07-2012, 10:36 AM
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#401
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Literotica Guru
mwmnpa is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Suburban Philadelphia
Posts: 7,749
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
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LMAO!
__________________
"Now the thing that I call living is just being satisfied/ With knowing I got no one left to blame."
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11-07-2012, 11:37 AM
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#402
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Really Really Experienced
haurni is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 388
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex
I feel like when we're talking sex most people want to feel young & gorgeous in their fantasies - it would be like me saying to them 'I want to lift your beer gut & lick your slightly saggy balls!'
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Quote:
Originally Posted by satindesire
Okay, here we go: The title of the Post was called "RP Skillz Like A Bawss"
alexcan'tRP: Walked behind her as he admired her up and down, slowly squeezing the side of her ass as he walked beside her I haven't seen anyone even close to as beautiful as you. What's your name? he asked her, standing near a rather crowded shopping center store front
Missus Random(me): She turned around swiftly and stabbed him in the eye with a sharpened pencil. His eyeball exploded wetly, and blood and thicker things ran down his face. As his body crumpled to the ground in agony, she spit on him, then gave him a vicious kick in the ribs. Bones crunched under her boot. "That's what you get for sexually assaulting me, asshole. Now when you get out of the hospital, consider treating the next woman you speak to like a human being, instead of being a misogynistic pig."
Missus Random(me): I hope you enjoyed our RP as much as I did.
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Absolutely hysterical. 
I recently received a couple of PMs from two different guys (which I unfortunately didn't save as I didn't find this thread until just now) baldly stating in one sentence that they'd like to roleplay having me suck them. I just ignored them.
__________________
~ See my profile for a link to my naughty pics & vids web page ~
* or pick this click for a quick dick gif fix *
Last edited by haurni : 11-07-2012 at 11:47 AM.
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11-07-2012, 09:44 PM
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#403
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Fuck you Boots
Saucyminx is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,546
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I feel so special
I got:
Quote:
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Originally Posted by xyz asshat
Do you enjoy watching a man masturbate on his webcam?
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for the 3rd time now.
No sir, actually I only enjoy watching a man masturbate on his grandmother's webcam, using her false teeth that he swiped out of the glass to nibble his buttocks, while balancing on a unicycle and simultaneously armpit-farting the Star Spangled Banner.
Are you man enough?
Oh and your zipper is down.
__________________
My first new story in 3 long years
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen
Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips
Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen
Sex is like Pinochle, if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Come on in--the smut is fine 
Last edited by Saucyminx : 11-07-2012 at 09:59 PM.
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11-07-2012, 09:49 PM
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#404
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1,000 Hours
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx
I got:
for the 3rd time now.
No sir, actually I only enjoy watching a man masturbate on his grandmother's webcam, using her false teeth that he swiped out of the glass to nibble his buttocks, while balancing on a unicycle and simultaneously armpit farting the Star Spangled Banner.
Are you man enough?
Oh and your zipper is down.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA "nibble his buttocks"
That is some funny shit!!
__________________
Sail on Silver Girl, Sail on by;
Your time has come to shine, All your dreams are on their way
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11-17-2012, 05:03 AM
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#405
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Sweet n Innocent
BeachMomma is online now
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In your wildest dreams
Posts: 2,468
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Hey babe wanna fool around?
I'd love to fool around! With my block and delete buttons.
__________________
Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead.
I came to Literotica for the Eros. I stay for the Agape (LakeSailer_MI. 2013).
Random dicks don't do a damned thing for me.
I don't care how thick, how long, or how thick and long it is.
If I don't first like the man, his dick is just another dick.
I'm a nurse; I've seen more dicks than a prostitute.
DISCLAIMER: Asshat PMs will probably earn you a starring role in the PM Asshattery thread. |
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11-17-2012, 06:52 AM
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#406
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just this guy, you know?
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: on hiatus
Posts: 10,240
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probably my favorite reply to date in this thread!
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer
exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."
psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
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11-17-2012, 08:09 AM
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#407
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Put me on Iggy
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: O-H
Posts: 9,478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx
No sir, actually I only enjoy watching a man masturbate on his grandmother's webcam, using her false teeth that he swiped out of the glass to nibble his buttocks, while balancing on a unicycle and simultaneously armpit-farting the Star Spangled Banner.
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That's so fucking hot. |
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11-17-2012, 09:12 AM
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#408
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 996
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Asshat: You into phone sex?
Me: Sure. Give me a call. 313-XXX-XXXX (gives number to local police department)
(Five minutes later)
Asshat: Hey! That wasn't you!
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11-17-2012, 09:24 AM
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#409
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Put me on Iggy
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: O-H
Posts: 9,478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
Asshat: You into phone sex?
Me: Sure. Give me a call. 313-XXX-XXXX (gives number to local police department)
(Five minutes later)
Asshat: Hey! That wasn't you!
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Well played.  |
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11-17-2012, 01:34 PM
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#410
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Sweet n Innocent
BeachMomma is online now
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In your wildest dreams
Posts: 2,468
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
Asshat: You into phone sex?
Me: Sure. Give me a call. 313-XXX-XXXX (gives number to local police department)
(Five minutes later)
Asshat: Hey! That wasn't you!
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Hahaha! Love it!
__________________
Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead.
I came to Literotica for the Eros. I stay for the Agape (LakeSailer_MI. 2013).
Random dicks don't do a damned thing for me.
I don't care how thick, how long, or how thick and long it is.
If I don't first like the man, his dick is just another dick.
I'm a nurse; I've seen more dicks than a prostitute.
DISCLAIMER: Asshat PMs will probably earn you a starring role in the PM Asshattery thread. |
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11-17-2012, 04:38 PM
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#411
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1,000 Hours
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
Asshat: You into phone sex?
Me: Sure. Give me a call. 313-XXX-XXXX (gives number to local police department)
(Five minutes later)
Asshat: Hey! That wasn't you!
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Oh, that was perfect!
__________________
Sail on Silver Girl, Sail on by;
Your time has come to shine, All your dreams are on their way
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11-27-2012, 12:56 AM
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#412
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 996
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Asshat: Do you enjoy ... Watching a man masturbate on his webcam?
Me: Do you ever read this thread? |
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11-27-2012, 12:59 AM
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#413
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 996
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
Asshat: Do you enjoy ... Watching a man masturbate on his webcam?
Me: Do you ever read this thread? |
Asshat: I guess not |
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11-27-2012, 01:06 AM
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#414
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Really Really Experienced
123Josh is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 364
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This thread is heartless. If you get a PM you're supposed to say thankyou, especially if the person took the time to include a naked picture or something.
__________________
2013 Nicest Ass On Lit Award Recipient
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11-27-2012, 06:32 AM
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#415
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Put me on Iggy
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: O-H
Posts: 9,478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 123Josh
This thread is heartless. If you get a PM you're supposed to say thankyou, especially if the person took the time to include a naked picture or something.
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You're joking, right? I don't want to unleash the snark on you if you're joking. |
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11-27-2012, 07:05 AM
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#416
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just this guy, you know?
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: on hiatus
Posts: 10,240
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Quote:
123josh quoth:
this thread is heartless. if you get a PM you're supposed to say thankyou, especially if the person took the time to include a naked picture or something.
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i can't tell if you're joking either. i sincerely hope so. if not, the ambassador for nigeria has a very lucrative opportunity for you.
ed
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer
exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."
psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
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11-27-2012, 07:14 AM
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#417
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Unravelling Before You
FakeaSmile is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 21,582
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 123Josh
This thread is heartless. If you get a PM you're supposed to say thankyou, especially if the person took the time to include a naked picture or something.
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Ofcourse we should be 
__________________
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
~ Marilyn Monroe
How Do You See Me? |
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11-27-2012, 12:08 PM
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#418
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The Last Unicorn
pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
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I operate under the assumption that everyone wants to see my anal gaping pics. Is there any other way to operate?
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11-27-2012, 12:17 PM
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#419
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Put me on Iggy
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: O-H
Posts: 9,478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
I operate under the assumption that everyone wants to see my anal gaping pics. Is there any other way to operate?
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Disembodied cock pics are a dime a dozen. You're thinking outside the box, so to speak, and I like that.  |
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11-27-2012, 12:29 PM
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#420
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The Last Unicorn
pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eilan
Disembodied cock pics are a dime a dozen. You're thinking outside the box, so to speak, and I like that. |
Anal gaping pics are like shoes... You can never have too many, am I right? |
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11-27-2012, 12:44 PM
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#421
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 996
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 123Josh
This thread is heartless. If you get a PM you're supposed to say thankyou, especially if the person took the time to include a naked picture or something.
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I suppose out of the thousands of women on Lit that I should be appreciative that someone like you picked me to send a naked picture of themselves.
I'm curious to know, how do you go about the selection process? Because if it's out of some kind of thoughtful, considerate and selective process, I want to make sure that I properly show my gratitude for the five seconds it takes to upload a picture, ask me if I like seeing a man masturbate on a webcam, and hit the "send" key. |
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11-27-2012, 01:00 PM
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#422
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The Last Unicorn
pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
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You girls are so damned lucky.
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11-27-2012, 01:18 PM
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#423
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Literotica Guru
MsQuote is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: State of Arousal
Posts: 996
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
You girls are so damned lucky.
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*sigh* Yes, I know. I'm lucky that some man I don't know wants me to know and see that he has a hard dick. |
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11-27-2012, 01:18 PM
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#424
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Fuck you Boots
Saucyminx is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,546
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 123Josh
This thread is heartless. If you get a PM you're supposed to say thankyou, especially if the person took the time to include a naked picture or something.
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Site your sources please. Was this listed in the Emily Post book? I've never actually seen documentation of the correct etiquette when presented with a rude, or demeaning pm combined with a photograph of said presenter's genitals. If I say thankyou, is it then ok to post the offending, and sometimes alarming, pm on this heartless thread?
Now anal gaping pics? I believe I read that Emily Post states that the only correct course of action is to send money, which is why I just never open those, and say I never got them.
__________________
My first new story in 3 long years
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen
Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips
Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen
Sex is like Pinochle, if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
Come on in--the smut is fine
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11-27-2012, 02:07 PM
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#425
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The Last Unicorn
pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3,862
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsQuote
*sigh* Yes, I know. I'm lucky that some man I don't know wants me to know and see that he has a hard dick.
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I'm glad you finally see it that way. But as I said, I'm more of an anal gaping man. Or a fisting pic man at best. |
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