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Old 08-03-2006, 11:00 PM   #101
even21odd
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thanx

this was very helpful because i am in a wheelchair and love sex just as much as anyone else
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Old 08-06-2006, 04:12 AM   #102
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I was in a relationship with a young woman in a wheelchair for several years. Although the relationship ended on a sour note, I have to say that anyone who wouldn't consider a relationship only because the other person is disabled is seriously shortchanging himself.
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Old 04-16-2007, 12:05 AM   #103
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This is a really old thread but it is a really good read. I'm a 25 year old guy missing both arms. It holds me back from approaching women and even though I think of myself as a very sexual person I'm still a virgin.

It's great to read that others with disabilities are enjoying healthy sex-lives and it gives me hope for the future. My main stumbling block is dealing with my own insecurities about my disability and learning to deal with rejection without losing self confidence. It's not easy, but this thread certainly proves it can be done.
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Old 04-16-2007, 07:12 PM   #104
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Coming from a woman who has physical limitations I completely understand this post from top to bottom. I am lucky enough to be with a wonderful man who is kind and understanding and compassionate to my limitations. We have an amazing sex life and work around any issues there maybe. Having such an understanding and attentive lover is the best medicine any doctor could have prescribed.
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:32 PM   #105
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Talking I agree

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinnochio View Post
I'm working on this and may post it in the 'How To' section of stories:

I write this not only for the people who have lived all their lives with a permanent disability but also for the people who are in a relationship with a disability or someone who is facing a drastic physical change which will effect their entire livelihood. It seems that in our society many topics of a sexual nature are becoming more and more mainstream an acceptable in a conversational setting. A topic that still seems to be an uncomfortable show stopper for most people is the sexual activity of the physically disabled. Yes, the physically disabled have sex, and yes having sex with a disabled person may be drastically different than sex with a ‘normal’ person. Here are a few things to think about and remember if you are in a sexual relationship where a physical handicap is present.

1. Conversation: no matter if you’re male or female do not be afraid to talk to your partner about sex. If your partner is physically challenged ask him or what they are comfortable with or what they are willing to try. If you are the one who is challenged explain to your partner what may or may not work, and what is uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other before, during, and after; questions like “Is this ok?”, “Am I doing this right?”, and “Maybe we should try something different?” are all acceptable and logical things to ask.

2. Experiment: Try different positions; if something doesn’t seem to be working change positions. Not all positions will be possible; for example someone wearing leg braces or has back problems may not be able to do things standing up, or may need to lean of something to do this. If a woman wants to be on her knees sucking a man who has trouble standing she needs to make sure his balance is ok. Another main thing is don’t focus on sexual intercourse. Most people think that without intercourse there is no sex but that is wrong. For example someone who may be partially paralyzed may have trouble getting an erection or keeping an erection. Focus on the touching and the kissing of body parts. Even though your partner may not be able to physically feel it they still can feel your warmness emotionally.
Speaking as a disabled man & my late partner being in a wheelchair with significant health issues, all she wanted was to b treated a 'normal'. What is 'normal'? Normal for us was setting up house together getting physically intimate with each other, going to the mall, going bowling & being with friends & family. My family accepted my partner warts & all. She was like the daughter my mother never had. She had a wicked sense of humor & loved to get out & about. I agree about all the prejudice out there in regards o people with disabilities being sexual beings. In my experience I had great problems with my partners mother; she could'nt & wouldn't accept that her daughter was sexually active. We ignored her negativity.

I don't mean this to b a long post, but I'm finding this therapuetic as this month it will b 13 years since her death.

One go her kinks was she LOVED watching porn!! This really surprised me bcause she'd ring me up @ work & ask me 2 bring hme a porn movie. She'd watch it & became instantly turned on.
Because she had spina-bifida we had to try different positions in order 4 her to find the most comfortable one. I have a disabled right-arm so couldn't support my body weight for any length of time. She loved blowing me & I loved cumming on her massive tits.

We had an emotional & physical connection - despite societies attitude.

Thanx 4 reading
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:37 PM   #106
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great one other factor

I agree with everything you said.
As a wheelchair user, I would only add, the rehab process itself it also sexy.
I have been aroused often by talking about my drs visits as well
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Old 11-14-2010, 09:54 AM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LAdymorrgian
As children we are almost "taught" that peole who are confinded in wheel chairs or missing limbs, ect you get where I am going, are very much diffrent from those of us who have a physically fit body. I have never been able to understand that.
To farther complicate things, we are also taught as children not to observe, i.e., "don't stare!" at anybody with a disability, with the result that we often don't see them, don't get to meet, know, or learn anything about them. This is an example of an effort to instill good manners that has somehow gotten off-track.

A couple of years ago, I broke my leg and had to be on crutches for a while. Now, people are fairly used to seeing people on crutches, but you get into anything that has wheels...! I felt safer, i.e., less likely to fall again, using the motorized carts whenever I had to go to Walmart or Publix. I experienced a brush of the invisibility factor that many disabled people suffer every day when I tried to get in line at the service desk to buy numbers. It felt very odd.
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:07 PM   #108
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great topic

i am new to this and posted a question in the wrong place this is so amazing to go and get the answers that i was hoping to find ,when my arms act up and i cant feel my hands ,and go into spasms ,it is nice to know that i can think of having sex in abody mode and not just a physical mode,the caresses and emotions that come out of that can be just as fulfillig.The one comment that i read was --there but for the grace of god go i --blew me away because i have not heard another person use it before,I grew up with emotionally and physically handicapped children,and this is what we told outsiders to our group,the stares and the teasing and down right rudeness of some people would amaze even the hardest person ,great post,remember this it is not the quantity of what you do but the quality of what you do that will define you J
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:21 PM   #109
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Red face

I married a beauty queen with health problems. She gave me the chance to walk away and I could not do it. I new I would always be woundering who was taking care of her. We had great sex for many years and she had the fanominal body to boot. But now she has loupus and gained 80 lbs. She lets this slide into our relationship like a wedge. I just wish I could get her to relize she still turns me on. I still want her evey minute of the day. And wow she has the most amasing breasts ever.
I guess what im trying to say is that I want her now as much as ever and we have to consantly look inside and make sure we are not our own worst enamy. I hope this is not too far from what you all were saying
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Old 03-16-2011, 09:03 AM   #110
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I would suggest starting with the small things like a pat on the butt thru out the day, sneak in a little nipple squeeze, hugs and such. I am the disabled one, but my wife seems to appreciate the attention thru out the day.

Perhaps she cannot fully perform, but there are other options to full blown, knock down sex everyday. A handjob every now and then can sometimes be better than intercourse.

25 years with MS and still have more sex thn most.
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Old 06-03-2011, 01:47 AM   #111
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SweetErika reccomended that I read this post after posting my own topic of being physically disabled with SMA Type 2, and what to do about sexual relief.

Some of the replies are inspiring, but my issue is finding a woman who gives a damn. I'm still looked at in public with the "in a wheelchair, he must be mentally disabled" look. Why can't some of you awesome people live near me?

I'm 26 and not getting younger. It took me 12 years to find my first GF, but after 4 months it was over because of trust issues.

I will say this, not being able to relieve myself of these "needs" blows. Read my topic for more info.
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:13 AM   #112
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I can imagine it does. I'm not wheelchair-bound myself, but I have a whole host of medical problems that may make sex (when I finally do have it - I'm not afraid to admit I haven't yet)...difficult, or even outright not-worth-the-effort. Here's an abbreviated list of what my afflictions are, so that some of you can get an idea (and WarpedDevotion, I am seriously looking at getting a wheelchair for college-campus-transit since I can't drive, and can't ride a bike, so I think I'll have an idea of what being wheelchair-bound is possibly like at a later point, but I know I don't adequately now):

- Mild-to-moderate spastic diplegia cerebral palsy. Causes spasms, pain, and general clumsiness, as well as poor, and often unpredictable, muscle control. Makes walking long distances and doing motor tasks difficult. Severity varies from day to day.
- Partial blindness. I entirely lack depth perception and have bad peripheral vision.
- Extreme Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Hypermobile type. Genetic condition that causes overflexible joints, stretchy skin, improper wound healing, extensive scarring, constant spontaneous joint dislocations (for me, of all of my joints), chronic widespread pain, fatigue, and easy bruising (among other symptoms).
- Early-onset arthritis. This is exactly what it sounds like, and it does not feel nice.
- Postural Ortheostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. My heart beats too fast, I'm prone to fainting spells when in one position for too long, and it's really, really important that I don't get dehydrated.
- Sensory Integration Dysfunction. In short, my nervous system and brain literally processes sensory stimuli differently, and my brain can't filter things out (not helped by bad ADHD), so things that may feel fine to someone else, like a pat on the head or being bumped in the hallway, don't feel fine to me. Touch and hearing are the two senses most likely to cause an overload - especially touch, which is why I don't like being touched (because who likes being overloaded?). People seem to have a hard time understanding this one.
- Brain damage. In multiple areas. Affects a lot of things - like my perception of my body "in space" - I don't have that, and I get lost with disturbing ease.
- Bone and joint degeneration. Caused by the EDS - also contributes to chronic severe pain and constant fatigue. I'm aware that this will not improve, and can only be slowed.
- Asthma. Severe, now under control, but only with medication.
- Moderate hearing loss. Discovered recently, and have acquired hearing aids, which are helping with mental fatigue.

There are more, many, many more, but those are the main ones that come up most often. And most of my disabilities and conditions are "invisible" - people don't see them, or assume I'm "making it up" when I most certainly am not. Things are...frustrating sometimes, and I'm often frustrated by my body, and the things that it can't do, or that it prohibits me from doing.

I'm sure that you, however, are even more frustrated, and I can empathize.

All I can say is that I really dread growing old, because my body has so many "old person" conditions already.
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Old 06-15-2011, 12:28 PM   #113
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keep on

Keep on looking. There is NO end to the wiring in the mind of humans that get them cranked up. That means that somewhere, probably closer than you think, there is a partner for you who'll be delighted to do what they need to do to get you off and allow you to help them get off.
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Old 06-18-2011, 11:42 PM   #114
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New to the Chatting aspect of Literotica but have read the stories for years. This thread is wonderful and very helpful. My husband is disabled and we have been navigating these waters in our own way. I just wanted to say thank you and you all have inspired me and touched me in a way that no counselor or therapy ever has. Best Wishes to you all.
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Old 06-21-2011, 04:47 PM   #115
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I'm glad this thread was revived.
I have a tumour in my brain stem. Now it blocks signals to/from my body so I can't move my legs but I can wiggle my toes and have partial use of my arms. I can feel temp, pressure and pain but not my joints moving(I can lose my arms if I can't see them).

Warped, I know what you mean about not being able to help yourself. I can't get good access and I don't have the fine motor skills.

I don't even know if I can physically have an orgasm, but I can get wet and I'd love to try
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Old 11-04-2012, 08:37 PM   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinnochio View Post
I'm working on this and may post it in the 'How To' section of stories:

I write this not only for the people who have lived all their lives with a permanent disability but also for the people who are in a relationship with a disability or someone who is facing a drastic physical change which will effect their entire livelihood. It seems that in our society many topics of a sexual nature are becoming more and more mainstream an acceptable in a conversational setting. A topic that still seems to be an uncomfortable show stopper for most people is the sexual activity of the physically disabled. Yes, the physically disabled have sex, and yes having sex with a disabled person may be drastically different than sex with a ‘normal’ person. Here are a few things to think about and remember if you are in a sexual relationship where a physical handicap is present.

1. Conversation: no matter if you’re male or female do not be afraid to talk to your partner about sex. If your partner is physically challenged ask him or what they are comfortable with or what they are willing to try. If you are the one who is challenged explain to your partner what may or may not work, and what is uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other before, during, and after; questions like “Is this ok?”, “Am I doing this right?”, and “Maybe we should try something different?” are all acceptable and logical things to ask.

2. Experiment: Try different positions; if something doesn’t seem to be working change positions. Not all positions will be possible; for example someone wearing leg braces or has back problems may not be able to do things standing up, or may need to lean of something to do this. If a woman wants to be on her knees sucking a man who has trouble standing she needs to make sure his balance is ok. Another main thing is don’t focus on sexual intercourse. Most people think that without intercourse there is no sex but that is wrong. For example someone who may be partially paralyzed may have trouble getting an erection or keeping an erection. Focus on the touching and the kissing of body parts. Even though your partner may not be able to physically feel it they still can feel your warmness emotionally.
Hey Pinnochio,

I'm newer here and this was the first post that really hit home with me, both my girlfriend and I suffer from a progressive Nero/muscular disorders and find it hard to maintain our sex life's do to the weakness/fatigue/balance issues we face all the time. The ideas you have written here are quite sound (as we did both of then and its been doing great for us) but I just feel like adding to it.

I know the key is communication with her but I just can't think of what to bring up. I'm 29 and in a wheelchair but use a walker to get around the house, She is 25 and uses a walker or a persons aid to get around (but is headed down the path I went down, in terms of what she uses to get around).\

Anyways I was hoping to get a few ideas here of thing to just bring up or might be interesting to talk about, as a goal of mine is just to change it up and try to do a little away from the norm of kissing/foreplay/oral/sex in our normal, I'm on top then she on top positions.

Any suggestions would be great, Thanks in advance
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Old 11-04-2012, 09:03 PM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbisket View Post
Hey Pinnochio,

I'm newer here and this was the first post that really hit home with me, both my girlfriend and I suffer from a progressive Nero/muscular disorders and find it hard to maintain our sex life's do to the weakness/fatigue/balance issues we face all the time. The ideas you have written here are quite sound (as we did both of then and its been doing great for us) but I just feel like adding to it.

I know the key is communication with her but I just can't think of what to bring up. I'm 29 and in a wheelchair but use a walker to get around the house, She is 25 and uses a walker or a persons aid to get around (but is headed down the path I went down, in terms of what she uses to get around).\

Anyways I was hoping to get a few ideas here of thing to just bring up or might be interesting to talk about, as a goal of mine is just to change it up and try to do a little away from the norm of kissing/foreplay/oral/sex in our normal, I'm on top then she on top positions.

Any suggestions would be great, Thanks in advance
Have you checked into assistive devices/equipment? Swings/slings and cushions like the Liberator Wedge are the obvious ones that come to mind, but there are other pieces that not only take strain off of the user(s), they add a lot of variety.
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Old 11-05-2012, 01:35 AM   #118
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Hi Erika,

I have looked into such things and while they have the pros you listed, they have a few big cons for me. Namely the cost is to much and there kinda hard to hide from my parents, they are my care givers ATM.

Thus, I was looking for a more subtle why to add new things
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Old 11-05-2012, 01:56 AM   #119
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C6 C7 incomplete, 5yrs now, 53yrs old, want sex,can have sex, but wife in the change wants nothing to do with it. she still turns me on and i want to kiss her all over,wont even let me touch her in that way. keep telling her she missing out on a wonderful thing.

Last edited by bushwhakka : 11-05-2012 at 02:00 AM.
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Old 11-05-2012, 03:47 AM   #120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bushwhakka View Post
C6 C7 incomplete, 5yrs now, 53yrs old, want sex,can have sex, but wife in the change wants nothing to do with it. she still turns me on and i want to kiss her all over,wont even let me touch her in that way. keep telling her she missing out on a wonderful thing.
That is to bad to hear, well at least you can keep telling her with confidence that she is missing out on a wonderful thing
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Old 11-15-2012, 05:04 AM   #121
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blackbisket View Post
Hi Erika,

I have looked into such things and while they have the pros you listed, they have a few big cons for me. Namely the cost is to much and there kinda hard to hide from my parents, they are my care givers ATM.

Thus, I was looking for a more subtle why to add new things
I think it time you educated your parents. You are no longer their precious little boy, you are an adult male and deserve to be supported and respected for having emotions and desires like anyone else - indeed just like they did and no doubt still do.

OK - I do not have any idea what this must actually be like for you, but damn it - they need to respect your maturity. If you can't face them directly with conversations about this area of your life maybe you can ask the professionals who overview your care to intercede for you. Open up a little more - particularly with the professionals who I assume are in your life. Even bringing this subject up with your doctor should provide you with contacts and sources of information. If they say "we don't know", tell them to bloody find out! There has to be support and other dedicated forums of discussion for this (but please don't leave here).

There is a new movie out that may help educate people in your life to understand that just because you have a disability you are not without the same desires as everyone else. The movie is called The Sessions:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/arts...-1226513147733

Ok - it is well beyond where you are at, but the message still holds true. It would do the people in your life a world of good to view it.

Also check this out:
http://www.theage.com.au/entertainme...125-1nxkc.html

and an interview with the sex worker
http://www.scarletroad.com.au/sex-wo...ilmcritic-com/

here
Scarlet Road: A Sex Worker's Journey
"Australian sex worker Rachel Wotton works with many clients who have disabilities. "
http://www.sbs.com.au/documentary/program/845/

and the actual documentary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJEbrnCS0fw

Last edited by NightL : 11-15-2012 at 05:21 AM.
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Old 11-16-2012, 12:08 AM   #122
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightL View Post
I think it time you educated your parents. You are no longer their precious little boy, you are an adult male and deserve to be supported and respected for having emotions and desires like anyone else - indeed just like they did and no doubt still do.

OK - I do not have any idea what this must actually be like for you, but damn it - they need to respect your maturity. If you can't face them directly with conversations about this area of your life maybe you can ask the professionals who overview your care to intercede for you. Open up a little more - particularly with the professionals who I assume are in your life. Even bringing this subject up with your doctor should provide you with contacts and sources of information. If they say "we don't know", tell them to bloody find out! There has to be support and other dedicated forums of discussion for this (but please don't leave here).

There is a new movie out that may help educate people in your life to understand that just because you have a disability you are not without the same desires as everyone else. The movie is called The Sessions:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/arts...-1226513147733

Ok - it is well beyond where you are at, but the message still holds true. It would do the people in your life a world of good to view it.

Also check this out:
http://www.theage.com.au/entertainme...125-1nxkc.html

and an interview with the sex worker
http://www.scarletroad.com.au/sex-wo...ilmcritic-com/

here
Scarlet Road: A Sex Worker's Journey
"Australian sex worker Rachel Wotton works with many clients who have disabilities. "
http://www.sbs.com.au/documentary/program/845/

and the actual documentary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJEbrnCS0fw
Thanks for all the work you did here, my parents know we have sex and im sure they know its hard and their are these items that can help. The biggest thing is the cost and storage of such items, thus it not as much knowing that I have then thats the issue but having them in my family home with the kids still here and people stopping by all the time.

If we lived on our own im sure their would be a few of these items arounde.
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