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Old 11-09-2012, 08:38 AM   #1
thecentaur123
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How to approach a girl when she obviously finds you attractive

Hey guys and esp. girls!

When I walk on the street many girls are staring at and quickly look away when I look at them. Or they adjust their cloths and hair. The signs that tell you that they are interested and find you attractive. I get that a lot but I am very shy when it comes to girls and I haven't had a girlfriend yet because I don't approach girls at all. It's a catch22.. I never felt like I'll be stressful talking to them so I never try it so i think I won't be successful so I...

So what would you say is the best way to approach a girl on the street when you know she finds you attractive? I don't have the experience to know what to do. I know I can say Hi.... but then?
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Old 11-09-2012, 10:58 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by thecentaur123 View Post
Hey guys and esp. girls!

When I walk on the street many girls are staring at and quickly look away when I look at them. Or they adjust their cloths and hair. The signs that tell you that they are interested and find you attractive. I get that a lot but I am very shy when it comes to girls and I haven't had a girlfriend yet because I don't approach girls at all. It's a catch22.. I never felt like I'll be stressful talking to them so I never try it so i think I won't be successful so I...

So what would you say is the best way to approach a girl on the street when you know she finds you attractive? I don't have the experience to know what to do. I know I can say Hi.... but then?
I find people fascinating and am a big people watcher. I love to sit back and relax in a public place and take everything in.

My point being that just because you catch a girl staring at you doesn't necessarily mean they are attracted to you.
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:11 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by thecentaur123 View Post
Hey guys and esp. girls!

When I walk on the street many girls are staring at and quickly look away when I look at them. Or they adjust their cloths and hair. The signs that tell you that they are interested and find you attractive. I get that a lot but I am very shy when it comes to girls and I haven't had a girlfriend yet because I don't approach girls at all. It's a catch22.. I never felt like I'll be stressful talking to them so I never try it so i think I won't be successful so I...

So what would you say is the best way to approach a girl on the street when you know she finds you attractive? I don't have the experience to know what to do. I know I can say Hi.... but then?
Easier said than done, I know, but just be natural and introduce yourself. Sure women love confidence, but as long as you are sincere when you approach her you'd be surprised how far that gets you. If you catch a good hard smile or other sign that leads you believe she might be attracted to you, don't attempt to call attention to your observation. It will just be awkward for both of you. Instead, try to start a quick small-talk conversation about what's going on around you and give her the impression you happened to be drawn to her. If you feel awkward at small-talk, try to develop a few conversations in your spare time that would be friendly, non-threatening, and leave pretty much anyone feel like the conversation was pleasant. No matter what you talk about, if you begin with a non-threatening, "hi I'm your name here (just not 'thecentaur123') ...", most people worth talking to will respond out of common courtesy by introducing themselves in return. When you know each other by name, the conversation immediately becomes more personal and makes way for more comfortable chatter.
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:16 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Edensgarden View Post
I find people fascinating and am a big people watcher. I love to sit back and relax in a public place and take everything in.

My point being that just because you catch a girl staring at you doesn't necessarily mean they are attracted to you.
Also true, but as long as you aren't creepy and make her feel threatened or incite an "incident", what's the worst that could happen? You're exactly where you were before you saw the stranger for the first time, and odds are you won't see them again. It's not as if a sane person would make it a point to find out who that guy was that politely smiled and introduced themselves and try to ruin their reputation or publicly shame them. I've found women have a knack for letting you know their not interested the MOMENT a conversation starts.
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* "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

~Mark Twain
* "This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway."
~Bob Dylan
* "Wear your knowledge like a pocket watch... If I don't ask you what time it is, I don't fucking care what time it is."
~loosely based on something Lord Chesterfield once said
* * * * * * *
These are a few of my favorite things...
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:21 AM   #5
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Your confidence in yourself will show through. The best way is to really make eye contact. I mean I could see a really hot guy and think the next moment that I wish I had brushed my hair better. There goes the gesture of my hand to the head. When you make the eye contact you get to say "you like what you see?" with your eyes. If she blushes, smiles, looks like a doe caught in headlights then you have an opening. Kbps your head, smile, acknowledge the interest and look for an opening to talk.

Older guys I like wink, Or smile that knowing smile. I like to wink back, say hi, acknowledge their looks of interest.
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Tá mé fear sheas fós, boladh ar bhean, mar mé ghabhtar agat
"I am a man stood still , scent of a woman , as I am caught by you"
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"Yr arogl o wraig: trosgynnol fel y blodau o gwanwyn."
(The scent of a woman: transcendent as the blossoms of springtime)
Welsh by Cymru6969

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Old 11-09-2012, 11:35 AM   #6
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Also true, but as long as you aren't creepy and make her feel threatened or incite an "incident", what's the worst that could happen? You're exactly where you were before you saw the stranger for the first time, and odds are you won't see them again. It's not as if a sane person would make it a point to find out who that guy was that politely smiled and introduced themselves and try to ruin their reputation or publicly shame them. I've found women have a knack for letting you know their not interested the MOMENT a conversation starts.
Good point. It definitely doesn't hurt to say Hi and start a conversation.

Another option would be to to try and make eye contact again and smile. Her reaction at the second point of eye contact may give you a better idea if she is approachable or not.
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:40 AM   #7
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Or you can do what EG does and stick your hand down guys pants and squeeze.




*laughing hysterically and running away*
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Tá mé fear sheas fós, boladh ar bhean, mar mé ghabhtar agat
"I am a man stood still , scent of a woman , as I am caught by you"
Irish Gaelic by akaSol
"Yr arogl o wraig: trosgynnol fel y blodau o gwanwyn."
(The scent of a woman: transcendent as the blossoms of springtime)
Welsh by Cymru6969

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Old 11-09-2012, 11:48 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Scentofawoman View Post
Or you can do what EG does and stick your hand down guys pants and squeeze.




*laughing hysterically and running away*
LOL

It reminds of the late father of a friend of mine who would jokingly tell us (approximate translation into English) "Guys, when it's hard, you take it out because surely it won't fall on the floor"
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Old 11-09-2012, 11:56 AM   #9
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Or you can do what EG does and stick your hand down guys pants and squeeze.




*laughing hysterically and running away*
Hey...you stick with what works....

I'm a little more subtle when approaching women.
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Old 11-10-2012, 09:44 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by rbone04 View Post
Also true, but as long as you aren't creepy and make her feel threatened or incite an "incident", what's the worst that could happen? You're exactly where you were before you saw the stranger for the first time, and odds are you won't see them again. It's not as if a sane person would make it a point to find out who that guy was that politely smiled and introduced themselves and try to ruin their reputation or publicly shame them. I've found women have a knack for letting you know their not interested the MOMENT a conversation starts.
This reminds me of a time, not long ago, when I was sitting on a bench in my favorite park and a stranger in a purple shirt & tie approched me. That was a good day.
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Old 11-10-2012, 10:14 PM   #11
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This reminds me of a time, not long ago, when I was sitting on a bench in my favorite park and a stranger in a purple shirt & tie approched me. That was a good day.
From a guy's point of view, I would feel like a creep approaching a woman that I didn't know.

But then again, when I was 21-years-old, a nurse told me that I looked like I was 32. She seriously didn't know how old I was when she told me that. And that was before I became bald and went through grad school. Now, I imagine I look like a defeated 40-year-old man.

Approaching a girl who is between the ages of 20-25 would make me look like a perv. No joke.
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Old 11-10-2012, 10:26 PM   #12
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From a guy's point of view, I would feel like a creep approaching a woman that I didn't know.

But then again, when I was 21-years-old, a nurse told me that I looked like I was 32. She seriously didn't know how old I was when she told me that. And that was before I became bald and went through grad school. Now, I imagine I look like a defeated 40-year-old man.

Approaching a girl who is between the ages of 20-25 would make me look like a perv. No joke.
Oh Christopher, you would not look like a perv. No joke!!
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Old 11-10-2012, 10:52 PM   #13
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Oh Christopher, you would not look like a perv. No joke!!
Haha Yeah... yeah I would...
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Old 11-10-2012, 10:58 PM   #14
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if you looked like a defeated 40 year old perv, would that girl have tried to lick your ear? lol
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Old 11-10-2012, 11:45 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by thecentaur123 View Post
Hey guys and esp. girls!

When I walk on the street many girls are staring at and quickly look away when I look at them. Or they adjust their cloths and hair. The signs that tell you that they are interested and find you attractive. I get that a lot but I am very shy when it comes to girls and I haven't had a girlfriend yet because I don't approach girls at all. It's a catch22.. I never felt like I'll be stressful talking to them so I never try it so i think I won't be successful so I...

So what would you say is the best way to approach a girl on the street when you know she finds you attractive? I don't have the experience to know what to do. I know I can say Hi.... but then?
I had a friend in college who, by most conventional standards, was not an adonis of any sort. But this guy dated some very attractive and sexy women. Even had some fine sex with a fair share of them.
Looking back at things now, his success with these woman wasn't a fluke, nor was it because he had a big dick or could lick his eyebrows. What he did have was a sincere smile, a genuine interest in what these girls had to say when he chatted them up, a great and sharp sense of humor, and the nerve to just say hello to them. Maybe complement them on something they were wearing or reading. He engaged them with polite conversation, wasn't pushy, and after an intial hello, let the conversation continue naturally, or fizzle out if that was the case.
What he also could boast about was the number of women who "shot him down". There had to have been hundreds. Seriously, maybe thousands in the brief time I knew him. He knew his odds (not the handsomest prince at the ball) and just worked the numbers.
He also set a bar for himself for his ideal girl. This will sound shallow and juvenile ( I did mention this was college) but he refused to date anyone who wasn't at least an eight out of ten, and did well using this sophormoric and superficial scale.
Basically, his success with the ladies was because he approached every girl he was interested in and said hello. For every dozen or so that went nowhere, he ended up out for coffee or drinks with one.
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Old 11-11-2012, 12:40 AM   #16
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A frequently used quote "Wear your confidence on your sleeve and people will strip you of it..Wear it in your heart, and watch them try!!"

Confidence - just find something to be confident about and own it, don't brag about it - be genuine - ask questions and above all else listen.

People are attracted to confidence - probably way more than looks. Just check out the number of unattractive male musicians who have beautiful partners. Chances are they didn't even have to work for the relationship, it was laid out in front of them.

Expectation can be smelt as sure as fear can. Expectation coupled with insecurities will have people running.

A suggestion: Practice. How? Practise on people who you will have no expectation of taking things further with. Thank a waitress for her service and ask how her day has been. If the person who is serving you in a shop has obviously made effort in their grooming, compliment them. Brief exchanges that are polite and genuine. You are not displaying any signs of expectation or feeling the anxiety of it. When you realise how easy that can be then try the same approach with someone you are indeed attracted to. Try try try to keep the expectation out of it, just let that develop over time.

Your aim when you meet someone should be just an introduction - not "I really want to fuck you, marry and have ten kids". You have to ask questions and listen, you need find the areas that will let communication develop. Smile and eye to eye contact (especially when listening) not eye to breast contact.

Just... just on the very odd occasion it is possible to get away with "God you've got a sexy arse" - better though said to a woman who knows and flaunts it. Said with a cheeky smile you might get away with it - or not haha. You need a fair amount of eye contact directed toward you first before you can pull that one off haha.
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Old 11-11-2012, 02:42 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Cookie123 View Post
This reminds me of a time, not long ago, when I was sitting on a bench in my favorite park and a stranger in a purple shirt & tie approched me. That was a good day.
And who might that be pretty lady...?
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~Mark Twain
* "This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway."
~Bob Dylan
* "Wear your knowledge like a pocket watch... If I don't ask you what time it is, I don't fucking care what time it is."
~loosely based on something Lord Chesterfield once said
* * * * * * *
These are a few of my favorite things...
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Old 11-11-2012, 02:52 PM   #18
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And who might that be pretty lady...?
Oh, I don't know..maybe YOU
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:27 PM   #19
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I do the opposite...i approach girls (all of 'em) see which ones seem to have a little spark of chemistry, THEN I let them see how attractive I am.
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