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Originally Posted by hot35m
Also if anybody has any suggestions for me to make the story better please let me know. I'm new at writing stories and any sort of feedback, both positive and negative, will be greatly appreciated.
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Let me start out with a positive note. The scene between the protagonist's mother and sister is good because it reveals details about them and their relationship by "showing" how they interact. It keeps the main character involved in the scene because he reflects that his mother has always been very straightforward in discussing difficult or embarrassing topics like sex. It also moves the plot forward by letting the main character discover something he didn't know about his mother and his sister, although all he does is use it for fantasy material at this point.
The mother puts on her clothes and leaves at the end of the scene, which surprised me a little. I thought his mom was getting ready for bed, so maybe it's earlier in the evening than I thought, or maybe she's going out somewhere...
Good start, hot35m. Please write more!
Zingiber
