Old 11-06-2012, 12:31 AM   #1
TinyLilPoptart
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On a boat...

Literotica, I'm feeling stuck. I wrote this down one day this summer when my thoughts had turned to beaches, boats and wild, reckless sex. I'm really happy with my setup, but at a loss for what to do with it. Any ideas?
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Kaitlyn Manchester smiled as she leaned back in the deck chair and let the warm Caribbean sun caress her teenage skin. She was two weeks removed from high school graduation, and for what seemed liked the first time in more than four years, the valedictorian, class president and head-cheerleader FINALLY felt relaxed. That might have had something to do with the naughty sensation of being naked on the boat’s open top deck, or the presence of an equally naked and oh-my-God gorgeous boy in the chair next to hers. Of course it could also have been the sensation of his warm cum leaking slowly from her freshly fucked pussy. Whatever it was, she liked it!

Andrew leaned forward and grinned at her. “Another drink, my dear?” he asked. Kaitlyn loved the way he talked. It didn’t even matter what he said. With that delicious South African accent, the weather report would sound sexy.

She cocked her head, playfully pondering if she wanted the drink as she sat up next to him. “Yes, a drink would be nice” she finally said, and she cupped his balls in her slender fingers. She grinned wickedly. “Mind if I get it myself?”

Before Andrew could answer, she slid onto her knees and took his still limp dick into her mouth. He’d shot his load in her not more than 10 minutes earlier, but as she eagerly gobbled his cock, it didn’t take him long to stiffen back up. How could he not? Not only was the little blonde impossibly gorgeous, with a perfect taut figure and big, firm perky tits, she also knew the right way to suck cock.

Too many girls, Andrew had found, believed there was more to head than having a warm mouth. Those dumb bitches did tricks with their tongues, tickled his sack and all sorts of other inane distracting shit that just got in the way. The good girls, like Kaitlyn, they didn’t do that. Kaitlyn pursed her lips and took his cock. She didn’t object to the way he used her ponytail to jerk her back and forth, or the way he shoved himself harder when he felt her start to gag. It took real talent to know when to just let a man fuck your mouth, and Kaitlyn was a very, very talented girl.

Of course, it helped that she actually loved the feel of a big dick in her mouth. Kneeling there on the deck as Andrew pumped in and out of her mouth, she could feel her own juices flowing. Nothing made her wetter than blowing a guy, especially a muscley, well hung guy like Andrew. It didn’t even matter that he seemed to enjoy pulling her hair and making her gag, because the feel of that hard rod on her lips was just too good.

“Do you want it on those tits, baby?” He grunted. “Or maybe in the face, again?”

Kaitlyn shook her head no without slipping off his cock. One time was enough in the face.

“Ok then,” he said, “I guess you’d better swallow this time!”

Then he jerked her forward hard, eliciting a soft yelp before Kaitlyn felt his cock twitch and her mouth filled up with fluid. Guys never appreciated how hard it is to swallow a load---like drinking a hose full of nasty goo. She did her absolute best to choke it all down, but, as always, some spilled out down her chin.

“Oh my God. Again?!?!” Kaitlyn cringed at the familiar sound of her stepsister Summer’s always grating voice.

“Holy shit,” laughed a clearly Australian male “you two are going to get dehydrated, mate.”

Kaitlyn blushed and hurriedly wiped her chin, as if they hadn’t already seen what she was doing, and then looked up at Andrew. He shrugged sheepishly, certainly aware that he was supposed to be mad on his lover’s behalf, but also clearly amused. Kaitlyn sighed and turned around.

Summer, as usual, was dressed like an acid trip. Her small bikini, cut just low enough to prominently display the baby-Cupid tattoo on her hip, was bright pink, perfectly coordinated with her pink painted fingers and toes, and the pink streaks died in her long blond hair. Kaitlyn was shocked that Michael and Larry, the two Australians, had failed to coax that bikini off; it was so easy to do.

“So, um,” Kaitlyn started awkwardly, “Can you guys, like, go the fuck away? Now?”

Summer giggled, not shyly marveling at Andrew’s now-limp but still impressive manhood. “We’re on a boat, Kat,” she said. “There’s nowhere to go away to.”

That wasn’t true at all, and Summer knew it. The girls’ father, Robert Manchester, was one of the richest men in Florida, and he never splurged on anything other than his boats. This was the smallest of his three vessels, but even it had more than enough room for five passengers to hide from each other.

Kaitlyn wasn’t about to argue though. The moment was already ruined. She sincerely doubted she’d be able to get another romp out of Andrew anyway, not after the morning’s four encounters. Best to let him rest.

“We should probably be heading in soon anyway,” said Kaitlyn. At this point, she didn’t mind being the party pooper. By the time they got back to the docks the sun would be setting.

Andrew stretched, nonchalantly and pulled his pants back on. “Actually,” he said, the accent still ever-so-cute, “we were thinking we should stay out.”

“No way,” said Kaitlyn. “My dad would flip out. He doesn’t even know we took it out in the first place. If he comes down and this thing isn’t in its dock, he’ll kill us. For real.”

Andrew smiled and slid up next to Kaitlyn, wrapping an arm around her slender waist and coyly cupping her bottom as he kissed her forehead.

[and that's where it just abruptly stops and I'm out of places to go with it....]
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Old 11-06-2012, 01:17 AM   #2
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Can you provide a summary?
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Old 11-06-2012, 02:21 AM   #3
sr71plt
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TinyLilPoptart View Post
[and that's where it just abruptly stops and I'm out of places to go with it....]
I think that's because there's no story to it. It's a sex scene--and a good one. But there's no place to go with it if this is all you've thought up, because there's nothing to it in the way of story. There are endless directions you could go in to make it a story, but you will need to think in terms of what the story is, not just the sex in the story.

For instance, having set this up as a flash forward, you could now go back to how she met this guy and what motivated her to let him just use her like this--this is pretty much a guy's fantasy--and then maybe work out how she's going to get some sense of control back from just being some guy's sex fantasy.
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Old 11-06-2012, 07:46 AM   #4
sirhugs
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Dad walks in...
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