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09-22-2012, 05:18 AM
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#1
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Literotica Guru
LaRascasse is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: World of Midnight and Broken Dreams
Posts: 805
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Editor needed for my first gay male story
The story itself isn't complete yet, but should be in 2-3 days. It is an entry for the Halloween contest next month.
Category - Gay Male
Word count - As of now 12K. My estimate is that it will be around 16K when finally complete.
Style - First person narrative. Flashback. The past is seen as glimpses and highlights rather than a continuous sequence.
Deadline - No particular rush, but I would like it back in September itself so I can work on the edits and submit it for the Halloween contest starting Oct 1.
Requirements - I mainly want an idea edit. Someone who has read gay stories before would be ideal. This is my first effort in this genre and would like an opinion on the plot, characters and other story related aspects. I have a copy editor to help me with the spellings and grammar side of it.
Remarks - In keeping with my usual style, this story is dark and murky. It contains scenes of non-consensual sex, semi-consensual sex and also some romantic gentle stuff. I have refrained from detailing the non-consensual stuff, but I imply it was bad. Moreover there are scenes of drug use (cocaine and LSD) and drug induced hallucinations. Hope that didn't scare you off 
Formats - I have a flexibility of formats. I can provide doc files, docx files and odt files. I prefer using OpenOffice so I can open most extensions. I would like it if the edits and suggestions were given as markups.
Credits - I give my credits on top of the story to everyone who helped, so your name would feature along with a few others who were involved in this.
Excerpt
"The cold, biting air caused me to shiver. My hands were shaking and my pants were wet from the snow on the ground. I was on my knees in a back-alley in Eastchester. My lips were wrapped around a wrinkled member. I used my tongue to slurp over his underside. He pushed back and forth against my mouth at a sedate pace until he exploded in my mouth and filled it with his watery cum. I felt it flow down my throat.
He hastily took out a few bills from his pocket, dropped them on the asphalt and scurried away. I picked up my meagre earnings and counted them. He had short-changed me by twenty, but I would take whatever he gave. I had no other choice. I added it to the small roll of bills on the underside of my jacket and got up to my feet."
Hope to hear from someone soon. I can send over what I have done until now at their request. Send me a PM or reply on this thread itself. Cheers!
__________________
My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus
Last edited by LaRascasse : 09-22-2012 at 09:42 AM.
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09-24-2012, 03:39 PM
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#2
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Literotica Guru
LaRascasse is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: World of Midnight and Broken Dreams
Posts: 805
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Update for any potential editor who hasn't come forward yet.
The story is finished and stands at 15.6K words. I have a first draft ready for you, should you want it.
__________________
My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus
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09-26-2012, 07:30 AM
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#3
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Literotica Guru
sr71plt is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Mid-Atlantic, USA
Posts: 27,603
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I have half a notion to volunteer to read this as I see a couple of things questionable in even the excerpt: Why, at the point of ejaculation, is the guy's cock still wrinkled? (If he's bordering on impotence, I guess it's physically possible) And why would a blow job in an alley cost something more than twenty?
Unfortunately, I'm on vacation in rural England with very spotty Internet and heavy sightseeing requirements. Good luck with this, though.
__________________
Published at eXcessica, BarbarianSpy, and Cyberworld Publishing under the names habu and Dirk Hessian.
From 4-star 1 May 2011 review by Examiner.com’s Acquanetta Ferguson of menage novella Dark Primeval: There is also something to be said for a man who writes erotica. Some don’t get it and write porn, but Habu gets what erotica is all about and the story comes off as a powerful read.
For illustrated GM stories, see stories under my habu author name at http://www.barbarianspy.com
Also, coauthoring as Shabbu and Stephen Kessel with Sabb:
From the 4 1/2-Star August Rainbow Review on I Met a Man: . . . a thoroughly wonderful reading experience for me. I look forward to reading more from the writing collaboration of habu and Sabb, who I believe make an important contribution to gay literature.
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09-29-2012, 06:18 PM
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#4
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Is that Erotica I smell?
AsylumSeeker is offline
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 2,929
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt
I have half a notion to volunteer to read this as I see a couple of things questionable in even the excerpt: Why, at the point of ejaculation, is the guy's cock still wrinkled? (If he's bordering on impotence, I guess it's physically possible) And why would a blow job in an alley cost something more than twenty?
Unfortunately, I'm on vacation in rural England with very spotty Internet and heavy sightseeing requirements. Good luck with this, though.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sr71plt
I have half a notion to volunteer to read this as I see a couple of things questionable in even the excerpt: Why, at the point of ejaculation, is the guy's cock still wrinkled? (If he's bordering on impotence, I guess it's physically possible) And why would a blow job in an alley cost something more than twenty?
Unfortunately, I'm on vacation in rural England with very spotty Internet and heavy sightseeing requirements. Good luck with this, though.
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<Extending olive branch> Hope you're having an excellent time, SR. I really do. Enjoy the time abroad! Thanks for helping to answer my editing questions over the years. I only asked to make sure I was editing correctly, even as you saw my questions as a weakness. |
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