Old 09-21-2012, 11:53 AM   #226
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It took nine pages, but this thread literally lived up to its name.
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Old 09-21-2012, 11:56 AM   #227
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It took nine pages, but this thread literally lived up to its name.
You read the whole thing? That's dedication.
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Old 09-21-2012, 11:57 AM   #228
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You read the whole thing? That's dedication.
Not quite. But I will this afternoon.
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Old 09-22-2012, 04:55 AM   #229
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The worst PM ever...

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Hey,

It's me, Nipplemuncher.
Sends shivers down my spine.
I told you, you had your chance to ride this gravy train and you missed it! Don't be a hater!
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Old 09-22-2012, 05:21 AM   #230
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Cleaning out the Inbox

I came across this beauty and thought I would share....

Baby, I had such a nice dream about you last night. I wonder if your goose bumps were popping up on your sweet soft skin. I was massaging your whole body as you lay on the table completely naked as you will be most of the time with me. I was about to start rubbing a nice scented oil into your warm relaxed body and decided to gently lick and then blow cool air across each spot I licked. Then I started dragging a Peacock feather across your back and up and down your spine slowly. My mind was engaged and started working on what I could do next and a grandioso idea hit me! I ran and grab some ice cubes and started sucking on them to make my lips and tongue cold and then kissed you as I sucked your flesh into my mouth with my cold tongue swirling against your skin. I let cold drops hit your spine and watched the goose bumps explode across your body. You were laughing and moaning with ecstatic pleasure and then you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas. I immediately kissed you deeply and passed the ice cube to your warm mouth and as placed another cube in mine you grabbed my hard cock and slide your cold lips around it. I almost exploded inside your throat when you start sliding your cold tongue up and down the vein of my hard dick and head. Then I climbed on top of you and rolled you over on top of me and placed my cold lips and tongue against your clit and hot pussy lips. Your legs clamped down on my head and you pushed your pussy hard against my face with a sigh. I started sliding my cold tongue as deep inside you as I could. You started sucking me harder and faster with your hand against your lips and moving both your hand and head up and down my shaft as fast and deep as you could take it. I felt your inner thighs start to tighten and tasted you starting your orgasm. Babygirl, I started sucking on you to get every drop of your sweet pussy juice I could from your fruit. and you started drinking down my cum as I exploded on your cold tongue. We calmed down for a second just grinding on each other and then turned to engage in a deep kiss to taste ourselves on each other....mmmmmm....it was heaven my sweet slave. I am going to do that to you for sure.
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Old 09-22-2012, 09:26 AM   #231
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it's a shame you can't embed pics in PMs cuz otherwise i'd suggest asking rainshine for the browneye av and replying with it.

rainshine: there's a reason i have avs turned off. :>

ed
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Old 09-22-2012, 09:31 AM   #232
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Originally Posted by silverwhisper View Post
it's a shame you can't embed pics in PMs cuz otherwise i'd suggest asking rainshine for the browneye av and replying with it.

rainshine: there's a reason i have avs turned off. :>

ed
I think I deleted it, I can do a screen cap and upload if I didn't. LOL
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Old 09-22-2012, 09:57 AM   #233
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*Snip*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edensgarden View Post
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....

you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas.
Oh no! It was a frontal assault! Thank goodness he didn't sneak in from the rear.
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Old 09-22-2012, 10:00 AM   #234
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that begs the question of whether edensgarden is kinky like that...

[ducks]

ed
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Old 09-22-2012, 12:48 PM   #235
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
*Snip*
Oh no! It was a frontal assault! Thank goodness he didn't sneak in from the rear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper View Post
that begs the question of whether edensgarden is kinky like that...

[ducks]

ed
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Old 09-22-2012, 02:31 PM   #236
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Edensgarden View Post
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....

Baby, I had such a nice dream about you last night. I wonder if your goose bumps were popping up on your sweet soft skin. I was massaging your whole body as you lay on the table completely naked as you will be most of the time with me. I was about to start rubbing a nice scented oil into your warm relaxed body and decided to gently lick and then blow cool air across each spot I licked. Then I started dragging a Peacock feather across your back and up and down your spine slowly. My mind was engaged and started working on what I could do next and a grandioso idea hit me! I ran and grab some ice cubes and started sucking on them to make my lips and tongue cold and then kissed you as I sucked your flesh into my mouth with my cold tongue swirling against your skin. I let cold drops hit your spine and watched the goose bumps explode across your body. You were laughing and moaning with ecstatic pleasure and then you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas. I immediately kissed you deeply and passed the ice cube to your warm mouth and as placed another cube in mine you grabbed my hard cock and slide your cold lips around it. I almost exploded inside your throat when you start sliding your cold tongue up and down the vein of my hard dick and head. Then I climbed on top of you and rolled you over on top of me and placed my cold lips and tongue against your clit and hot pussy lips. Your legs clamped down on my head and you pushed your pussy hard against my face with a sigh. I started sliding my cold tongue as deep inside you as I could. You started sucking me harder and faster with your hand against your lips and moving both your hand and head up and down my shaft as fast and deep as you could take it. I felt your inner thighs start to tighten and tasted you starting your orgasm. Babygirl, I started sucking on you to get every drop of your sweet pussy juice I could from your fruit. and you started drinking down my cum as I exploded on your cold tongue. We calmed down for a second just grinding on each other and then turned to engage in a deep kiss to taste ourselves on each other....mmmmmm....it was heaven my sweet slave. I am going to do that to you for sure.
Was this a first PM?
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Old 09-22-2012, 03:52 PM   #237
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Was this a first PM?
The first of several with no response from me.
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Old 09-22-2012, 04:46 PM   #238
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^^^^^

Such a tease. The poor guy just wanted to delight in your garden. I'm sure he just copies and pastes that to every girl with pretty incisors.
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Old 09-22-2012, 05:04 PM   #239
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^^^^^

Such a tease. The poor guy just wanted to delight in your garden. I'm sure he just copies and pastes that to every girl with pretty incisors.
Oh pmann, you know I only allow a select few through my garden gates.

I sure he does copy and paste as many do. I've had some send me the exact same writing on more than one ocassion and some even have blanks in their passage where they just fill in the person's name they are sending the PM to.

That's special right there!
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Old 09-22-2012, 05:55 PM   #240
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May I...Ask, respectfully, if you find
(insert pic link here)
erotic?

I am 48, and a (career that indicates he is likely a douche) here in Central XXXX. I hope you're having a wonderful time here on Lit. And enough with the photons.
Yours,
Asshat

Nothing completely outrageous, but still probably trolling. At least he's not all "hey baby let's do it" but the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. Four things bother me about this:

1. You don't want to be respectful, or you wouldn't keep sending PMs when I don't respond to the first one. That isn't respectful, it's wasting my time.

2. I didn't ask you to send me a pic. If you want to know if people find it erotic, how about posting it on the Erotic Couples Images thread? You'll get lots of feedback, I'm sure. I did not respond because after seeing the pic, the couple looked like they were not quite 18 and it frankly creeped me out.

3. "enough with the photons" Now you insult my profession and my adorable nerdiness! Poorly played, Asshat, poorly played. Be thankful you are not on my exam table or I'd fire up that KV and MAS and fry your tiny testicles right off.

4. Signed "Yours"? I do not know you...you are not mine!!

Please someone tell me I'm not the only lucky one to receive PMs from this guy!
Well, this Asshat just doesn't give up! Just got PM #4 from this guy...same message, different pic attached. And this time he didn't comment on the photons. That right there tells you it's a cut and paste job.

How disappointing!!!
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:11 PM   #241
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um...i should point out that "yours" is a fairly traditional sign-off dating back to the days of writing actual letters.

but the rest is pretty damned goofy.

ed
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Old 09-22-2012, 06:14 PM   #242
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper View Post
um...i should point out that "yours" is a fairly traditional sign-off dating back to the days of writing actual letters.

but the rest is pretty damned goofy.

ed
Sure, you can point it out, and I get that....but everything about this asshat annoys me so I figured I'd throw that in, too!
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Old 09-22-2012, 09:49 PM   #243
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Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
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Old 09-22-2012, 09:54 PM   #244
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Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
I've thought about sending him a link to this thread but I doubt he'd take the hint!
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:21 AM   #245
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Not as creative as some....

Ah.... not my first, but he was blunt.

hi hottie
up nice and early on a Sunday morning?
horny?

My reply:

Seriously? This is how you're going to start a conversation?

He did apologize though.
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:27 AM   #246
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Guilty!!! like i said.. been on lit for a few hours and all nice n *****!!
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Old 09-23-2012, 12:42 PM   #247
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Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
Anyone who wants to fuck with asshats should totally go to the BDSM Asshat Awards Thread and learn from satindesire.
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:03 PM   #248
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Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
I have. https://fetlife.com/groups/21570/group_posts/2911269

Er, are you on Fetlife? If not, I can copypasta it here.

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Anyone who wants to fuck with asshats should totally go to the BDSM Asshat Awards Thread and learn from satindesire.
Oh come on, I'm not that good.


...

Okay I am, but thanks anyway.

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Guilty!!! like i said.. been on lit for a few hours and all nice n *****!!
Um, if you can type horny in a message, you can type it here. Also, seriously dude, gross. Don't treat women like walking pussy...we tend not to like that.
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:50 PM   #249
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I am not on fetlife. I'm pretty vanilla. I just like boobs.
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Old 09-23-2012, 10:57 PM   #250
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I don't see the point in fucking with them. People aren't sport.
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