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Old 09-11-2012, 07:05 PM   #1
Queen_Vicki
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Do most of straight,and gay society think Bi men are gay?

First off:I know that I have been posting threads about bisexual men, a lot, but that's only because I find them mildly attractive, and that bothers me.I am only saying this is because someone has bought it too my attention,and that's not good.So hopefully this will be my last post or thread about them.

Anyways with that out of the way.I have notice lately that a lot of bisexual men demand to be heard, or be more visible when it comes to their sexuality. I am speaking about bi men only because it seems that bisexual women don't have this problem.When people usually think of bisexual men they tend to think "oh this dude is just gay as hell,and will not admit it." I too, have been guilty of this.All opinions are welcome,btw.
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Old 09-11-2012, 07:51 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen_Vicki View Post
First off:I know that I have been posting threads about bisexual men, a lot, but that's only because I find them mildly attractive, and that bothers me.I am only saying this is because someone has bought it too my attention,and that's not good.So hopefully this will be my last post or thread about them.

Anyways with that out of the way.I have notice lately that a lot of bisexual men demand to be heard, or be more visible when it comes to their sexuality. I am speaking about bi men only because it seems that bisexual women don't have this problem.When people usually think of bisexual men they tend to think "oh this dude is just gay as hell,and will not admit it." I too, have been guilty of this.All opinions are welcome,btw.
I know for me, personally, as a bisexual male I truly find the beauty in both sexes and am sexually attracted to both. If I were to put a percentage on it, I'd actually say that i'm MORE attracted (physically and emotionally) to women than men, however, that significant attraction that I DO have to men is enough for me to consider myself bisexual. In my opinion, if you have an attraction to both sexes you are bi - whether you have actually engaged in intercourse with either sex or not. I know that I could NOT live my life without women, or without having sexual contact/relations with a female. Everything about sex with a woman is amazing and natural to me, however, there is that other side of me that will simply think about or watch porno of a man, a penis, and sexual relations with a man and get hard. It's difficult to explain in exact terms, I just know for me that I am attracted physically (looks), sexually, and emotionally to both men and women, and I couldn't really go without having one or the other in my life in some form or fashion. My wife is bisexual as well, but more in a spiritual sense, and she believes that we are ALL bisexual, and it's more about the person than the sex. That's my .02 anyway.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:38 PM   #3
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What does "mildly attractive" and that bothers you mean? And its always nice to referred to as "them".



Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen_Vicki View Post
First off:I know that I have been posting threads about bisexual men, a lot, but that's only because I find them mildly attractive, and that bothers me.I am only saying this is because someone has bought it too my attention,and that's not good.So hopefully this will be my last post or thread about them.

Anyways with that out of the way.I have notice lately that a lot of bisexual men demand to be heard, or be more visible when it comes to their sexuality. I am speaking about bi men only because it seems that bisexual women don't have this problem.When people usually think of bisexual men they tend to think "oh this dude is just gay as hell,and will not admit it." I too, have been guilty of this.All opinions are welcome,btw.
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:41 PM   #4
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Further to the "question" if there is a real one from you. "Lesbians" are supported by media standards. They are "cool" and "trendy". Why would anyone be surprised that the world hates "gays" not lesbians, the world is full of "sheep". Monkey see, monkey do!!.
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Old 09-11-2012, 09:11 PM   #5
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yeah, if a man is bisexual it will as a rule be assumed he is gay in denial. ignorant but that's how it is. I dont have any interest in a same sex relationship so being more visible would be pointless, since I can be "straight" and have sex with guys. no point in advertising what I like to do to a bunch of people who dont want to know.
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Old 09-11-2012, 09:24 PM   #6
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I think there is plenty of research out there to show that bisexuality is very real... but I think it only accurately demonstrates the level to which men possess the physical desire to be with a man (including exclusively or not at all). Furthermore, the most accurate data would be that gathered from men who have actually acted on those desires. The debate lies in the issue surrounding the tendency for men to consider a certain gender for an intimate relationship... which is more difficult to measure. Just as a man's desire to have sex with a man is intangible compared to having done it; gender preference in a partner can only be exacted in men who have a companion.

I think there is the generalization that men in a same-sex relationship are generally regarded as gay in society by both straight and gay people, and same is true for the converse situation. Unfortunately, except in the case of polyamorous relationships, it is difficult to actually display bisexuality. MANY men (like myself) have had serious relationships with both men and women. Plenty (albeit not enough) are open with their partner about it. I happen to currently be dating a woman, so my "bisexuality" is only evident when we are involved with a man sexually in the privacy of our own home. For this reason, it is more difficult for some individuals to grasp the concept.

Many people of every sexual orientation are comfortable accepting the intangible nature of bisexuality. Others refuse to believe it is possible because, unlike their own homo/heterosexuality, it is not finite. Because of this, the most opinionated of these individuals tend to explain the phenomenon of men who like sex with both men and women as being just some guy who isn't ready to come out of the closet.

This is all an unfortunate reality since the heterosexuals with this thought process often frown upon homosexuality and view bisexuals with the same negativity. Whats worse is the hypocrisy of the homosexuals with this thought process, as many are just as intolerant as their hetero counterparts whom they accuse of the same bigotry.
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Old 09-11-2012, 09:34 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by azdesert73 View Post
What does "mildly attractive" and that bothers you mean? And its always nice to referred to as "them".
Did what I said offended you? If I did, that was not my intention.
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Old 09-12-2012, 12:47 PM   #8
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I think it comes down to genetics: the fact that men have breasts and nipples is not a coincidence. A case could also be made that the clitoris on women is nothing more than a little hooded dick. The fact that giving either sex a dose of hormones changes them so dramatically further makes the case that there is really just a fine line between what defines a woman or a man. I believe if there were absolutely no stigma attached to who you had sex with, then most of us would be considered bisexual. There is a wide spectrum of sexual desire out there. The real odd ones are the staunch heterosexuals and devote homosexuals. Not that there is anything wrong with either extreme.
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:05 PM   #9
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The short answer to your question, Queen_Vicky, is yes, most of society figures that a bisexual man is really gay. It's very difficult for what we might call "monosexuals" to comprehend bisexuality.

Except of course, for other bisexuals... more and more people are saying that's what they actually are, though, and at least part of the gay/lesbian community has begun to accept that such people are what they say they are, even though they don't necessarily approve.

rbone, You hit the nail on the head with your post.
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:39 PM   #10
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As someone who is straight my opinion is that bi-men are

Bi.

Bi denotes they are into both sexes.

To me "Gay" calls out an interest in men only.

Women who are into men/women are not Lesbians to me, they're Bi. So what's the difference?

If you go both ways you're Bi.

Maybe I'm just simplifying it though.
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:45 AM   #11
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I think that there severely many bi men. However, I think there are many like me who for a period of time thought they were then realized that they are gay. I didn'stuck a rock until I was 48. I knew rift away that Was a cook sucker, but didn't admit to myself for about 2 years that I was gay.
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:06 AM   #12
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Pfft. That's stupid. Tiny-minded people who can't deal with anything that can't be easily classified.
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:31 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
The short answer to your question, Queen_Vicky, is yes, most of society figures that a bisexual man is really gay. It's very difficult for what we might call "monosexuals" to comprehend bisexuality.

Except of course, for other bisexuals... more and more people are saying that's what they actually are, though, and at least part of the gay/lesbian community has begun to accept that such people are what they say they are, even though they don't necessarily approve.
As a gay person who has no problem with the concept that some people like both sexes, I will consider myself evolved and enlightened.
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Old 02-25-2014, 10:10 PM   #14
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If I may add another, more perverse wrinkle to this conversation, I am a straight male obsessed with the idea of being humiliated during sex. Considering that, it didn't take long for my fantasies involving dominant women humiliating me to transform into dominant men doing the same thing (sometimes at the woman's command, sometimes by themselves). As such, I have huge thing for cock now. The idea of being a bottom bitch slut to a big, dominant cock has fully infiltrated my fantasies now and I'd bet 95% of my fantasies involve me sucking and getting fucked by cock.
Part of what gets me off about this is knowing this is a taboo that our society isn't really ready to deal with yet. And as such, the notion that bi men are really just closeted fags is one that makes this scenario that much hotter for me. I love the idea of being told that I really am gay, that I'm just in denial and need to accept it and move on, to cock.
It's even gotten to the point where I've sought out the posters of fairly ignorant, homophobic comments on here just because that level of abuse really turns me on.
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Old 02-25-2014, 10:35 PM   #15
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I Believe

I believe it is the prevailing attitude that Bi men are gay. I have several religious friends and they won't even debate that issue, that's just the way it is they say..

Personally I gave up long ago being worried what others labeled me or tried to catalog me as..Once you reach that status..it really is quite funny yet sad watching the whole circus these people create.
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Old 02-26-2014, 12:14 AM   #16
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As always when you start applying labels you start running into generalizations and opinion and bigotry. To me there are 3 classifications:
Heterosexual: sexual activity is restricted to members of the opposite sex.
Homosexual: sexual activity is restricted to members of the same sex.
Bisexual: sexual activity is not restricted to either gender.

As a bisexual male I do not regard myself as homosexual or heterosexual. I am bisexual.
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Old 02-26-2014, 01:41 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen_Vicki View Post
Anyways with that out of the way.I have notice lately that a lot of bisexual men demand to be heard, or be more visible when it comes to their sexuality. I am speaking about bi men only because it seems that bisexual women don't have this problem.When people usually think of bisexual men they tend to think "oh this dude is just gay as hell,and will not admit it." I too, have been guilty of this.All opinions are welcome,btw.
That happens a lot, yeah. A couple of months back Tom Daley (British athlete) gave a statement where he clearly said that he was attracted to both men and women, and a lot of the coverage of it was phrased as "Tom Daley announces he's gay".

With bi women it more often seems to be the reverse complaint: having a relationship with a guy makes them "straight" and means same-sex relationships are trivialised.
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Old 02-26-2014, 10:29 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rbone04 View Post
Because of this, the most opinionated of these individuals tend to explain the phenomenon of men who like sex with both men and women as being just some guy who isn't ready to come out of the closet.
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Originally Posted by Bramblethorn View Post
That happens a lot, yeah. A couple of months back Tom Daley (British athlete) gave a statement where he clearly said that he was attracted to both men and women, and a lot of the coverage of it was phrased as "Tom Daley announces he's gay".

With bi women it more often seems to be the reverse complaint: having a relationship with a guy makes them "straight" and means same-sex relationships are trivialised.
Quote:
Originally Posted by azdesert73 View Post
"Lesbians" are supported by media standards. They are "cool" and "trendy". Why would anyone be surprised that the world hates "gays" not lesbians
And who makes those standards? Straight men. So our fucked-up society says it's hawt 'n sexeh when two women are together (unless your wife leaves you for one or they start demanding the right to marry), girls can 'fool around' and still be straight and what lesbians really need is just a good fuck, but if a man lieth with another man it's an abomination.
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Old 02-26-2014, 10:43 AM   #19
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I used to think this way until one day in my thirties for no reason I woke up and decided I was aroused by the idea of playing with cock. That sure didn't diminish my lust for women. And trust me when I say nobody would see me on the street and suspect it. I think there are huge numbers of bi-curious men out there that you'd never suspect felt that way, and that you may never know about because they won't act on it or talk about it.
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Old 02-26-2014, 03:35 PM   #20
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Quote:
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And who makes those standards? Straight men. So our fucked-up society says it's hawt 'n sexeh when two women are together (unless your wife leaves you for one or they start demanding the right to marry), girls can 'fool around' and still be straight and what lesbians really need is just a good fuck, but if a man lieth with another man it's an abomination.
It's all about what the penises are doing, donchaknow.

Although I will say: straight men may well have set that standard, but gay men help feed it. Quite a few of those that I saw announcing "Tom Daley comes out as gay!" were gay men, and Dan Savage has pushed the line that "bi" men are just gay in denial.
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