question need a life!!!

[loveroflove]

my birthday is in like 5 days and i will be 20, 20! and no bf in the picture...EVER...i have no confidence! i am overweight and i believe his is one of e reason i have no bf or anyone! bu then my cousin got a bf then a fuck buddy and i just cannot win i asked her and she just said confidence! bu i don't have that and when i do i get turned down and feel humiliated....

[lazyhobo]

Originally Posted by loveroflove

i am overweight .

I hear this complaint a lot, since I dont know what you're weight is or what you look like, I might add "You may possibly be blowing that out of proportion and it may not be that bad."

Second, If you're after a fuck buddy, thats not too hard, but confidence is a must.

Third, if you're after a serious relationship, confidence would help a lot. If its love you're after, he should look past any chubby'ness.

Once again, I dont know anything about you, thats basic advice that might not be that helpful depending on your situation.

[akatrex]

Join a Gym.

It will make both your body and mind FIT.

When both are fit your confidence soars!

[fire_breeze]

Originally Posted by loveroflove

my birthday is in like 5 days and i will be 20, 20! and no bf in the picture...EVER...i have no confidence! i am overweight and i believe his is one of e reason i have no bf or anyone! bu then my cousin got a bf then a fuck buddy and i just cannot win i asked her and she just said confidence! bu i don't have that and when i do i get turned down and feel humiliated....

Welcome to Lit

First off, you're only 20 - and not having anyone in the picture is really not a big deal. I didn't start dating seriously until I was 18-19. Although, according to your profile, it says that your birthday is November 30 - that's in about 5 months, not days

Second, blaming your weight will not help you gain confidence (and what do you mean by overweight anyway? Some young women claim they're overweight but look like skeletons). Many curvy ladies, or BBWs, or not skinny women, have confidence. Many thin ladies do not have confidence.

Please do not take this harshly, but agonising about not having a boyfriend reeks of desperation - and you do NOT want to get involved with someone who is attracted to desperate people.

I'm not sure what you are asking - how to gain confidence or how to have a life? If it's the former, then do things that YOU enjoy. Do you like theatre? Sports? Clubbing? Fishing? Figure out what you enjoy, and then do it. "I can't" is not a good enough excuse. The more you start doing things you enjoy, the more confident you will seem, the more people will gravitate, the more of a life you're going to live, which leads to the more confidence you will have and the more... see where this is going?

You're also (again, hate to bring it up) not even 20. I am assuming that you're in college? If you are, then ENJOY. College is a lot of fun, but you do have to go out there and discover what's going on. If you hole up in your room, you will get nowhere.

And once you start doing things you enjoy, your confidence will build and people - including men - will start to gravitate to you. And by the way, confidence is not about being the loudest or the most colourful person out there. It's liking who you are - I'm naturally quiet, introverted and non-confrontational, but I'm pretty confident in who I am and I know that I am a strong woman. Yes, we all have times of self-doubt and frustration. It happens. But it's picking yourself up and going at it again that builds up confidence.

Good luck .

[missgiter]

I'm a curvy girl, and I wear my curves with confidence. If somebody doesn't like them? Well that's there loss, there are plenty that do - including myself.

And 20 isn't very old. I know you feel like it is, but trust me, honey, your life is just starting.

Get out, live a little, you'll meet somebody. Are you in school? Do you do anything , clubs, memberships, etc?

And, if your weight is bothering you - DO Something about it! Join a gym! If you can't afford to do that, then you have the entire internet at your fingertips. It just takes a bit of time and research and put some willpower behind it. Only you are in control over it.

Things will come together for you. Confidence is key. You would be absolutely amazed at how sexy it can be.

Good Luck

[NorthernPole]

Things have a way of working themselves out. Weight is not as big an issue as it's made out to be. Myself and most other men I know would choose a woman I can have a conversation with over the vapid, superficial bimbo. I didn't consciously set out to chase after curvy girls, it just sorted turned out that way. Lot better chance of quality it seems.

Honestly if you're looking to meet just random people, try plentyoffish or any number of other online dating sites. Curvy girls do wonderful on places like that, and you will possibly get tired of all the creeps just wanting to hookup, but if that's what you're after you will find lots of it. Just be aware its a numbers game. But it does work.

[loveroflove]

thanks sorry i just made this account and i forgot to mess with the date of birth. i weigh around 200 so i am not really big it is more that i am the quiet type and when boys actually do ask me out i don't know if they are joking or not (some of the boys in highschool did that and it mad my confidence low! i think the real problem is confidence thank you and i know i have my whole life ahead of me it's just i don't even have that many friends i am use to being shy and it was only recently that i started to take something for anxiety and i made a few friends (granted they were women) but still i will work on that. i think now that you all said that i was going about it the wrong way! i will boost my confidence by working out (i have 4 dogs i will take them for many walks now!) and feeling good about myself.

[Bbb13]

Good for you, and a dog lover. Who could want anything else?

[pmann]

May I ask... What kind of guys do you like?

[Christopher2012]

Yeah, I feel ya. It sucks being single especially on holidays and birthdays.

[loveroflove]

as to what kind of guy i like for some odd reason i like guys that are smart but not to smart but also guys that tease me (odd but i feel for the ones that messed with me in highschool this one guy would make me blush all the time though he had a gf and is serious with her) i don't really care what the person looks like as long as he is not a slob and he of course has to be nice! lol. and dating site are so not to my liking lol i did something like that once and ended up talking tpo a guy who was almost the age of my mother, he is the one that told me of this site lol!

[sr71plt]

There's that telltale "boys" again. I'll bet my left testicle that the OP is no older than 14.

[ElizaCat22]

I understand how you feel - I was in your position once upon a time. There are guys out there who like curvy women. The confidence will come. I'm still building mine and I'm going to be 30 here in a few weeks... heh.
Also, as others have pointed out, you are young. You have time to meet that special person. Yes it sucks to be alone but feeling alone when you are with someone is even worse.

[GenuineGuy]

Originally Posted by loveroflove

as to what kind of guy i like for some odd reason i like guys that are smart but not to smart but also guys that tease me (odd but i feel for the ones that messed with me in highschool this one guy would make me blush all the time though he had a gf and is serious with her) i don't really care what the person looks like as long as he is not a slob and he of course has to be nice! lol. and dating site are so not to my liking lol i did something like that once and ended up talking tpo a guy who was almost the age of my mother, he is the one that told me of this site lol!

I'm a great guy, who's 20! And I would love to get to know you turn your PMs on or pm me

[loveroflove]

lol i am so new at this! it is taking me a while to set this account up! i believe i enabled the messenger now!

[mike2010fc]

I'm spending more and more of my time in the metaverse of my mind these days. I very much like Tanya on HBO's Hung, but have a hard time meeting women who really like to talk about the soul. So men can get just as lonely as women when it comes to romance.

So needless to say, I don't care about body type, but more about life experience, and am up for talking about most anything with any woman on lit. I guess I'm an emotion whore.

Mike

[jen_litgirl]

Have you checked out the BBW or Curvy Appreciation threads? There's tons of pictures of girls with curve and shape to them and they're all beautiful and owning it. It might help to see girls enjoying their shape, no matter what it is.

Working out and getting into shape is a great thing to do but if you're feeling crappy about the way you look then find pictures of other women and you can gleam from them the confidence to enjoy and relish your size.

[GenuineGuy]

I still can't PM you. Wisconsin is in the high 90s all week haha. But it does get cold in the winter. It's ok if you have someone to keep you warm though

[loveroflove]

hmm well just skype me the it is on my profile

[lazyhobo]

Originally Posted by Bbb13

Good for you, and a dog lover. Who could want anything else?

You ask who could want anything else? What if I want a Cat Lover? Does that count?

As far as the curvy thing goes, You know all those Models, that are essentially talk skeletons with skin wrapped around them, while they may make magazine covers, it doesnt essentially mean that all guys (Or even most guys) will go after them.

[angelbabe8907]

Like most have said, you're only 20! No need to rush it! Honestly, I'm 23 and single and most of my friends tell me I'm lucky to be single and not have a boyfriend! I can understand it bothering you to be single but you know what you like, you have a plan to build your confidence (which will take time). Overall, don't stress too much about it. It'll happen when it happens. As far as trusting whether or not guys are sincere in asking you out, most of the time guys mature quite a bit after high school.

[Bbb13]

Originally Posted by lazyhobo

You ask who could want anything else? What if I want a Cat Lover? Does that count?

As far as the curvy thing goes, You know all those Models, that are essentially talk skeletons with skin wrapped around them, while they may make magazine covers, it doesnt essentially mean that all guys (Or even most guys) will go after them.

Oh we have 3 cats and three dogs. Lol

[loveroflove]

ok i should have that fixed now i asked and i now feel stupid! my messenger thing should work! and if it doesn't i think i will give up and scream lol jk

[desertslave]

I turned 52 yesterday. Trust me on this one...don't rush! Learn about yourself, learn to love yourself and enjoy your own company first. Have fun focusing on the things you love before you add someone to your life. That someone should be the cherry on top, not the whole sundae.

P.S. Happy birthday!

[SweetErika]

It sounds like this is the PERFECT time for you to work on yourself (your confidence, self-esteem, health, social skills, interests, or whatever that means to YOU)! If you do that, you'll reap the rewards of being happy with yourself short-term, and for the rest of your life. Next to self-satisfaction, your social and love lives will sort themselves out nicely once you're in a better place with yourself. After all, you can't really expect others to like or love you i you don't truly like and love yourself, right? At least that's true for those who aren't your relatives and are the caliber of friends and partners you want and deserve.

And on that note, be forewarned that threads like this frequently bring attention from lower quality people. It's sad, but the more predatory and unattractive (eg cheaters, liars, dudes who are just looking to get off) flock to threads like this and also women who have lower self-esteem, or even just say they're overweight. You almost certainly already have or will be contacted by them. How you proceed is up to you of course, but if you're looking to avoid those types, there are generally giveaways such as post count, content /history, profile, how they start and try to steer a conversation, honesty, etc.). Now that it seems you have the PMs figured out, you may want to remove your Skype and any other contact info, since that's typically a big invitation to the wankers and scummier elements to weasel their way into your life, and even prey on you by getting your personal info and such. Again, it's up to you, and I'm not pointing to anyone specifically, but since you mentioned the old guy experience, I feel it's especially worth pointing out. Iif I were a sleazeball, I'd be all over you after seeing a thread like this!