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Old 06-02-2011, 03:58 AM   #1
Warped_Devotion
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Angry I'm a dude, in a wheelchair, and very sexually frustrated. Need advice.

It's been a few years since I last posted or visited here, but I don't know where else to turn too.

Here's my problem.

I'm stuck in a wheelchair due to a genetic neuromuscular disease, Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) Type 2. I need a lot of assistance doing many things. Somethings I can do on my own, some I can't. I still have to live with my parents because no one else knows how too care for someone with my condition.
Sadly, one of the things I can't do on my own is masturbate. Which is now causing me to build up in sexual needs, and it's leaving me very frustrated.

I had a girlfriend for the first time 4 months ago. She loved giving me all the attention I needed down there, and we experimented on things I could do to her, which turned out to be hardly anything because of my weakness. It was great while it lasted but sadly we broke up due to trust and other problems. I'm 26, and finding a GF that wants to deal with someone like me is getting hard to find. It took me 12 years to find my ex. It looks grim for me.


I've thought about...what's the term, "fuck buddies"? or friends with benefits? Sadly, here in Western NC it's hard to find someone like that. What's more frustrating is since I can't get out of my chair as I please, I can't just have sex. I'm limited to the oral means or handjobs. Also living with 2 people in their 60's who's views on this sort of stuff is very negative doesn't help.

What am I to do? Sorry if this jumbled or not well described or explained, I'm tired and angry. If something isn't clear or needs more info, ask and I'll reply tomorrow. Hope I posted this in the right place.

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Old 06-02-2011, 04:33 AM   #2
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What can you do with your arms and hands? Could you put or hold something on your cock? Is it at all possible to insert something anally? I'm asking because I'm wondering if you could find some sort of toy to help you masturbate.

Are you sure you can't have sex, even lying in bed or with the help of one of the aids for the wheelchair-bound?

Do you have a good doctor? Could you talk to him/her about some possible ways of relieving your sexual tension?

Have you taken a look at this thread yet?

Finally, I totally understand your frustration, but I think the main thing is to get that out and really work on building your confidence and personality. From what I've heard here and elsewhere, extraordinary personalities are the key to attracting people when there are a lot of physical limitations. "I want handjobs and blowjobs, but I can't really do much for you," doesn't sound like a good proposition to the type of woman you want to be with. What CAN you do with your mind, heart and body? Can you make a woman laugh? Write well? Say things that'll turn her on and get her off? Give her lots of affection? What creative things could you come up with to satisfy your partner sexually and otherwise?

IOW, if you can't attract women with what you DO have, you're probably pretty much left with paying them for sexual favors, which is obviously going to be expensive, risky and difficult.
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Old 06-02-2011, 05:33 AM   #3
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I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated.

I think SweetErika has a lot of very good advice about working on your strengths. I have always believed you'll find someone when you aren't looking, which is really the hardest thing to hear when you're feeling alone. Just keep being social, meeting people and interacting, and letting them appreciate who you are. Maybe you're a good writer, or witty, or just a caring listener...just let them see you shine. Eventually something will click!

As for your sexual tension, have you considered vibrating toys? It sounds like your hands and arms have limited movement...would you be able to position something to stimulate yourself, turn it on, and let it do all the work? I know it's not the same as human touch, but it could take the edge off until you find someone new.

And if you do find a good way to pleasure yourself, you can always combine it with some dirty talk online or on the phone. Shared fantasies...mutual pleasure...maybe find some steady partners. It could help give you some of that human sexual interaction you're craving, until you meet the right girl.

Good luck <3
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Old 06-02-2011, 06:54 AM   #4
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I recommend contacting an escort service to reduce your stress as you figure out a better long term solution.

Some sex providers specialize in persons with disabilities.
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Old 06-02-2011, 08:51 PM   #5
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This is brash. But workable. Escorts. With the internet you can do a little research and find a girl. Those of us involved call it a hobby. In the hobby there are board like this one except they are a communication for the girls and guys to connect. You can see reviews of girls and pictures. Know the cost before you go and be pretty sure you will get what you pay for. There are a lot of issues that are easy to avoid. The hardest one is once in while you find one you want to fall in love with. Best thing is only fall in love for the hour you pay for.
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Old 06-02-2011, 08:58 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warped_Devotion View Post
It's been a few years since I last posted or visited here, but I don't know where else to turn too.

Here's my problem.

I'm stuck in a wheelchair due to a genetic neuromuscular disease. I need a lot of assistance doing many things. Somethings I can do on my own, some I can't. I still have to live with my parents because no one else knows how too care for someone with my condition.
Sadly, one of the things I can't do on my own is masturbate. Which is now causing me to build up in sexual needs, and it's leaving me very frustrated.

I had a girlfriend for the first time 4 months ago. She loved giving me all the attention I needed down there, and we experimented on things I could do to her, which turned out to be hardly anything because of my weakness. It was great while it lasted but sadly we broke up due to trust and other problems. I'm 26, and finding a GF that wants to deal with someone like me is getting hard to find. It took me 12 years to find my ex. It looks grim for me.


I've thought about...what's the term, "fuck buddies"? or friends with benefits? Sadly, here in Western NC it's hard to find someone like that. What's more frustrating is since I can't get out of my chair as I please, I can't just have sex. I'm limited to the oral means or handjobs. Also living with 2 people in their 60's who's views on this sort of stuff is very negative doesn't help.

What am I to do? Sorry if this jumbled or not well described or explained, I'm tired and angry. If something isn't clear or needs more info, ask and I'll reply tomorrow. Hope I posted this in the right place.
Wow that's terrible. I can only imagine how frustrated you are.
Can you get and erection? It seems from what I read that you can so I was wondering if a woman could like get in your lap and ride you. The reason I am asking is you say you are limited to oral and hand jobs.
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Old 06-02-2011, 09:23 PM   #7
Warped_Devotion
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetErika View Post
What can you do with your arms and hands? Could you put or hold something on your cock? Is it at all possible to insert something anally? I'm asking because I'm wondering if you could find some sort of toy to help you masturbate.

Are you sure you can't have sex, even lying in bed or with the help of one of the aids for the wheelchair-bound?

Do you have a good doctor? Could you talk to him/her about some possible ways of relieving your sexual tension?

Have you taken a look at this thread yet?

Finally, I totally understand your frustration, but I think the main thing is to get that out and really work on building your confidence and personality. From what I've heard here and elsewhere, extraordinary personalities are the key to attracting people when there are a lot of physical limitations. "I want handjobs and blowjobs, but I can't really do much for you," doesn't sound like a good proposition to the type of woman you want to be with. What CAN you do with your mind, heart and body? Can you make a woman laugh? Write well? Say things that'll turn her on and get her off? Give her lots of affection? What creative things could you come up with to satisfy your partner sexually and otherwise?

IOW, if you can't attract women with what you DO have, you're probably pretty much left with paying them for sexual favors, which is obviously going to be expensive, risky and difficult.
Toys? Thought about it, but then when I realized it would be one of my parents to help me with it......*shudders*, especially anal toys. Creepy.

I'm sure I could have sex if I was in the bed, but in my chair it would be more difficult unless I went around butt naked. I remember asking my previous doctor about this, and she promised me she'd look into something. But I never heard back as I had to find a new doc. And I don't know my new doc well enough to ask him.

I'll go read that thread.

And I feel rather confident about myself. Even thought I might not be able to do much in terms of foreplay, I am a good listener, somewhat witty, and I give lots of affection, it's all about finding the right woman.

Quote:
Originally Posted by positivetension View Post
I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated.

I think SweetErika has a lot of very good advice about working on your strengths. I have always believed you'll find someone when you aren't looking, which is really the hardest thing to hear when you're feeling alone. Just keep being social, meeting people and interacting, and letting them appreciate who you are. Maybe you're a good writer, or witty, or just a caring listener...just let them see you shine. Eventually something will click!

As for your sexual tension, have you considered vibrating toys? It sounds like your hands and arms have limited movement...would you be able to position something to stimulate yourself, turn it on, and let it do all the work? I know it's not the same as human touch, but it could take the edge off until you find someone new.

And if you do find a good way to pleasure yourself, you can always combine it with some dirty talk online or on the phone. Shared fantasies...mutual pleasure...maybe find some steady partners. It could help give you some of that human sexual interaction you're craving, until you meet the right girl.

Good luck <3
Never thought of vibrating toys or phone sex......Hmmm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosco rathbone View Post
I recommend contacting an escort service to reduce your stress as you figure out a better long term solution.

Some sex providers specialize in persons with disabilities.
I never thought of that. Interesting. Very interesting.


I wish I wasn't living with my folks at times, but then I doubt a home health worker would feel comfortable helping me with the toys and whatnot.


also @naughty_shygirl: Yes I can get erections. My problem is I'm not very......big. Talking 4 inches or less. Riding me in the chair with that size could be, difficult.
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Old 06-02-2011, 09:28 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Warped_Devotion View Post
Toys? Thought about it, but then when I realized it would be one of my parents to help me with it......*shudders*, especially anal toys. Creepy.

I'm sure I could have sex if I was in the bed, but in my chair it would be more difficult unless I went around butt naked. I remember asking my previous doctor about this, and she promised me she'd look into something. But I never heard back as I had to find a new doc. And I don't know my new doc well enough to ask him.

I'll go read that thread.

And I feel rather confident about myself. Even thought I might not be able to do much in terms of foreplay, I am a good listener, somewhat witty, and I give lots of affection, it's all about finding the right woman.


Never thought of vibrating toys or phone sex......Hmmm.


I never thought of that. Interesting. Very interesting.


I wish I wasn't living with my folks at times, but then I doubt a home health worker would feel comfortable helping me with the toys and whatnot.


also @naughty_shygirl: Yes I can get erections. My problem is I'm not very......big. Talking 4 inches or less. Riding me in the chair with that size could be, difficult.
ah ok hmmm just a thought
It would be be nice if you came across a kinky home health worker that would help you out that way lol. They are supposed to love caring for others and attending to thier needs. Well this is a big need for a young guy like yourself lol.
But really I am not trying to make light of your situation. Just a little humor.
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Old 06-02-2011, 10:25 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughty_shygirl View Post
ah ok hmmm just a thought
It would be be nice if you came across a kinky home health worker that would help you out that way lol. They are supposed to love caring for others and attending to thier needs. Well this is a big need for a young guy like yourself lol.
But really I am not trying to make light of your situation. Just a little humor.
I seen one girl that is an escort. And a home visit nurse. While she would have no problem giving a BJ to a client; and she has clients that sure need one, she would lose her job if word got out. Probably would have support from the guy that got the BJ.
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:08 AM   #10
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ah ok hmmm just a thought
It would be be nice if you came across a kinky home health worker that would help you out that way lol. They are supposed to love caring for others and attending to thier needs. Well this is a big need for a young guy like yourself lol.
But really I am not trying to make light of your situation. Just a little humor.
Oh I wish! How awesome would that be, wake up in the morning to a nice BJ or handjob to help with morning wood. Or whenever I needed it throughout the day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bone251 View Post
I seen one girl that is an escort. And a home visit nurse. While she would have no problem giving a BJ to a client; and she has clients that sure need one, she would lose her job if word got out. Probably would have support from the guy that got the BJ.
And this is probably what would happen to me. Someone would find out, she get fired then I get sent a prude.


Also updated original post!
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Old 06-03-2011, 02:12 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Warped_Devotion View Post
Oh I wish! How awesome would that be, wake up in the morning to a nice BJ or handjob to help with morning wood. Or whenever I needed it throughout the day.



And this is probably what would happen to me. Someone would find out, she get fired then I get sent a prude.


Also updated original post!
lol yeah some old hag that you would run screaming if you could if she tried anything
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Old 06-03-2011, 04:24 AM   #12
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Have you tried SMA support groups or forums? Folks who are living with the same condition might have some good suggestions for you, or if nothing else, be able to lend a very understanding ear.
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Old 06-03-2011, 06:32 AM   #13
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I never thought of that. Interesting. Very interesting.


I wish I wasn't living with my folks at times, but then I doubt a home health worker would feel comfortable helping me with the toys and whatnot.

I don't know the details of your situation & mobility, but maybe you could tell your parents you want a couple of days alone, get a hotel room and take care of your business there.

Alternately, a good escort service would work with you to send the escort under pretense of being something else...a girl you met at an online dating service, or some other excuse.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:27 AM   #14
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Have you tried SMA support groups or forums? Folks who are living with the same condition might have some good suggestions for you, or if nothing else, be able to lend a very understanding ear.
I have looked at some SMA Support groups, but I've only ran across a couple of topics on this that I can remember and they didn't offer much.


Quote:
Originally Posted by rosco rathbone View Post
I don't know the details of your situation & mobility, but maybe you could tell your parents you want a couple of days alone, get a hotel room and take care of your business there.

Alternately, a good escort service would work with you to send the escort under pretense of being something else...a girl you met at an online dating service, or some other excuse.
My parents are very over-protective of me. They won't leave me alone in a hotel, even if I demand it. Now here at home, if I want to be alone in my room with someone they'll let me be.
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Old 06-04-2011, 03:31 AM   #15
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you seem very familiar...
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Old 06-04-2011, 06:08 PM   #16
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I have looked at some SMA Support groups, but I've only ran across a couple of topics on this that I can remember and they didn't offer much.




My parents are very over-protective of me. They won't leave me alone in a hotel, even if I demand it. Now here at home, if I want to be alone in my room with someone they'll let me be.
If you can get privacy in your home, then talk to the escort service and work out some kind of cover story. A good service will be happy to play along.

What's the nearest urban area to you? I'll look up some services for you.
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Old 06-04-2011, 08:57 PM   #17
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you seem very familiar...
I do? I did join back in 03, might have seen me around then. I don't post often, mostly I lurk.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosco rathbone View Post
If you can get privacy in your home, then talk to the escort service and work out some kind of cover story. A good service will be happy to play along.

What's the nearest urban area to you? I'll look up some services for you.
Will send you a PM.
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Old 06-05-2011, 10:48 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Warped_Devotion View Post
It's been a few years since I last posted or visited here, but I don't know where else to turn too.

Here's my problem.

I'm stuck in a wheelchair due to a genetic neuromuscular disease, Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) Type 2. I need a lot of assistance doing many things. Somethings I can do on my own, some I can't. I still have to live with my parents because no one else knows how too care for someone with my condition.
Sadly, one of the things I can't do on my own is masturbate. Which is now causing me to build up in sexual needs, and it's leaving me very frustrated.

I had a girlfriend for the first time 4 months ago. She loved giving me all the attention I needed down there, and we experimented on things I could do to her, which turned out to be hardly anything because of my weakness. It was great while it lasted but sadly we broke up due to trust and other problems. I'm 26, and finding a GF that wants to deal with someone like me is getting hard to find. It took me 12 years to find my ex. It looks grim for me.


I've thought about...what's the term, "fuck buddies"? or friends with benefits? Sadly, here in Western NC it's hard to find someone like that. What's more frustrating is since I can't get out of my chair as I please, I can't just have sex. I'm limited to the oral means or handjobs. Also living with 2 people in their 60's who's views on this sort of stuff is very negative doesn't help.

What am I to do? Sorry if this jumbled or not well described or explained, I'm tired and angry. If something isn't clear or needs more info, ask and I'll reply tomorrow. Hope I posted this in the right place.
Where is Western NC? Is that near Raleigh? I know someone there who could help you if it's close.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:23 AM   #19
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Hi WD.

I can totally understand your parents being over-protective but it might be time that you remind them that you're an adult in his mid-20s. While being assisted with a sextoy would be embarrassing, surely you can open a dialogue about your privacy. You can mail-order toys like a fleshlight if you get your parents to agree not to open the packages. Sex toys will be shipped to you in plain packaging with an innocuous company name stamped on it. Then what you need is a box/cupboard/whatever that your parents/carers do not open, one that you can access whenever you like. There should also be a way for you to agree private time in your room alone, maybe even using a DND sign, when there isn't the risk of them walking in on you.

I think perhaps your father might be the one to approach about all this. He knows you're still a red blooded male and if he's unhelpful, ask him how frustrated he would be in your position. Remind him how lucky he is to have a wife to sate his urges with and the physical capability for lovemaking. Obviously, I don't know your parents but if you get one of them on side it should only be a matter of time before ground-rules are tweaked in your favour. It sounds like they devote a lot of time and care to your happiness. I'm sure they'd feel awful if they knew how much the lack of privacy and a sexual outlet are making you unhappy.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:45 AM   #20
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Where is Western NC? Is that near Raleigh? I know someone there who could help you if it's close.
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Old 06-05-2011, 12:01 PM   #21
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im also disabled and i have very over protective parents so i understand what your going through

Last edited by mg357 : 06-07-2011 at 09:52 PM.
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Old 06-06-2011, 03:00 AM   #22
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Where is Western NC? Is that near Raleigh? I know someone there who could help you if it's close.
Nah, I'm closer to Tennessee. Other side of Charlotte. Only urban areas here are Hendersonville and Asheville. Then Greenville and Spartanburg SC.

@fuckmeat: my parents are old school, so for them taking pleasure like this is immoral and wrong. My dad might understand, but I dunno. Hooray for having old school!
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