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Old 05-15-2011, 03:18 PM   #176
Aurantica
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Originally Posted by DeepGreenEyes View Post
Well, um, yeah. That was part of the issue.

And don't rub it in. So to speak.
You do realize I was originally referring to Halley's comet, right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halley's_Comet
While attempting to masturbate with a household cleanser is a stupid idea, trying to jerk off with a mixture of volatile ices including water, carbon dioxide, ammonia and dust would be infinetley more stupid. Especially if it's flying through space. And burning.
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Old 05-15-2011, 03:22 PM   #177
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You do realize I was originally referring to Halley's comet, right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halley's_Comet
While attempting to masturbate with a household cleanser is a stupid idea, trying to jerk off with a mixture of volatile ices including water, carbon dioxide, ammonia and dust would be infinetley more stupid. Especially if it's flying through space. And burning.
I think he was aware...
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Old 05-15-2011, 03:37 PM   #178
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You do realize I was originally referring to Halley's comet, right?
ahahaha Aurantica you are my new favorite poster.


Stay credulous, my friend.
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Old 05-15-2011, 03:42 PM   #179
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Me and my buddy created a disturbance in the theatre during Bruno, we were laughing so hard. But no. Lord_Steve is no joke. He is the real deal, Mom. I swear to god you met him like 20 times when I was in high school!
Oh god Kiddo, I hoped this day would never come...

You see, Lord Steve isn't unknown to me, not at all...

He's actually... *deep breath, loaded pause*

...your brother from another mother!

*hangs head in shame whilst there is a dramtic musical trill*

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Old 05-15-2011, 03:56 PM   #180
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Originally Posted by FloggingMolly View Post
Oh god Kiddo, I hoped this day would never come...

You see, Lord Steve isn't unknown to me, not at all...

He's actually... *deep breath, loaded pause*

...your brother from another mother!

*hangs head in shame whilst there is a dramtic musical trill*

An actually funny post?!?! In MY thread?!?!

I'm sorry you must be lost this is the "post your favorite sitcom-level tepid burns" clearinghouse and you must be THIS insipid to ride this ride.

You and DGE just aren't wanted here, pardner, this is high noon at the idiot saloon and there's a new sheriff in town: me. Aurantica is my deputy and lovecraft is my trusty steed. Yeehaw.
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Old 05-15-2011, 04:03 PM   #181
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*disguises voice*

Hey You Guys Stop Making Fun Of Steve I Hear He's a Cool Bro And Also Handsome As Heck!!! In Real Life.

You Say He Does Not Have Sex A Lot But Maybe It's You That Does Not Have Sex A Lot Did You Ever Think Of That
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:42 PM   #182
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An actually funny post?!?! In MY thread?!?!

I'm sorry you must be lost this is the "post your favorite sitcom-level tepid burns" clearinghouse and you must be THIS insipid to ride this ride.

You and DGE just aren't wanted here, pardner, this is high noon at the idiot saloon and there's a new sheriff in town: me. Aurantica is my deputy and lovecraft is my trusty steed. Yeehaw.
*dying laughing*
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:55 PM   #183
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Originally Posted by Lord_Steve View Post
An actually funny post?!?! In MY thread?!?!

I'm sorry you must be lost this is the "post your favorite sitcom-level tepid burns" clearinghouse and you must be THIS insipid to ride this ride.

You and DGE just aren't wanted here, pardner, this is high noon at the idiot saloon and there's a new sheriff in town: me. Aurantica is my deputy and lovecraft is my trusty steed. Yeehaw.
I think Aurantica would be the sheriff in which case I may gladly volunteer to be her steed. Which would leave you to do what you are most qualified for; pick up my droppings.
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:56 PM   #184
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I think Aurantica would be the sheriff in which case I may gladly volunteer to be her steed. Which would leave you to do what you are most qualified for; pick up my droppings.
haha nope would you like to try again
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:02 PM   #185
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haha nope would you like to try again
Well now that was a witty response if I ever saw one. Take your time next time Steve you can do better I know you can.

On another note I am a bit slow on the draw today myself. It did not occur to me until right after I posted that you declared a very attractive woman as your deputy but me as your steed. That would mean that you would rather ride me than her?

Are you into men Lord Steve? Are your "bitches" really "bastards" or maybe Femboys?

Last edited by lovecraft68 : 05-15-2011 at 06:06 PM.
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:15 PM   #186
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Well now that was a witty response if I ever saw one. Take your time next time Steve you can do better I know you can.

On another note I am a bit slow on the draw today myself. It did not occur to me until right after I posted that you declared a very attractive woman as your deputy but me as your steed. That would mean that you would rather ride me than her?

Are you into men Lord Steve? Are your "bitches" really "bastards" or maybe Femboys?
i was going to say that its only appropriate that the tinstarred sheriff of the idiot saloon should ride an ass but

instead I'll just express my sympathy for your subs; if you are half as hard on them as you are on your metaphors, the poor dears will be dead within the fortnight.
perhaps you can bury them in the back yard under the rosebushes alongside the deceased family pets and your sense of irony, which is clearly moldering somewhere around the substrata.
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:16 PM   #187
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Welcome to slapfight camp everyone, the pool is OPEN *blows whistle real loud*

no running near the metaphor hole! if you fall in you'll never get out!
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:24 PM   #188
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Welcome to slapfight camp everyone, the pool is OPEN *blows whistle real loud*

no running near the metaphor hole! if you fall in you'll never get out!
Now see you took your time there and googled some impressive words and came out sounding much better!! Threaten a man's sexual identity and get results.

As for subs I think the only ones you've ever had came from Subway or D'eangelo's. If I was still on the sexual preference kick there would be a good five dollar foot long line in there somewhere but oh well.
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:29 PM   #189
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instead I'll just express my sympathy for your subs; if you are half as hard on them as you are on your metaphors, the poor dears will be dead within the fortnight.
perhaps you can bury them in the back yard under the rosebushes alongside the deceased family pets and your sense of irony, which is clearly moldering somewhere around the substrata.
Metaphors, you are my fucking BITCH! As submissive as a simile, without the annoyance and high-maintenance of a fucking "like" or "as."
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:39 PM   #190
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Originally Posted by FloggingMolly View Post
Oh god Kiddo, I hoped this day would never come...

You see, Lord Steve isn't unknown to me, not at all...

He's actually... *deep breath, loaded pause*

...your brother from another mother!

*hangs head in shame whilst there is a dramtic musical trill*

GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Jesus Christ. Thanks for announcing this on a public BDSM board, Mom. Instead of a private one.

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As for subs I think the only ones you've ever had came from Subway or D'eangelo's. If I was still on the sexual preference kick there would be a good five dollar foot long line in there somewhere but oh well.
One hasn't lived until one has seriously Dommed a toasted Seafood and Crab with extra onions. They are so compliant. And they make a nice crusty cracking sound when they bend.
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Old 05-15-2011, 06:51 PM   #191
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Now see you took your time there and googled some impressive words and came out sounding much better!! Threaten a man's sexual identity and get results.

As for subs I think the only ones you've ever had came from Subway or D'eangelo's. If I was still on the sexual preference kick there would be a good five dollar foot long line in there somewhere but oh well.
LADIES AND GEEEENTLEMEN.

In the blue corner we have the King of Fuck Mountain, the loquacious lothario, the reigning champ and all around great guy, LOVECRAFT68, coming out of retirement to defend his CROWWWN against... what's this?

Who's that in the red shorts? The mysterious challenger, Archon of Alliteration, Pugilating Prince of Postmodern Posting, he-hunk of the mythic west coast, LOOOORD STEEEVE!!!

the two devastating alphadoms circle and flex their girthy guns to the braying crowd. Small children faint. Young ladies of marriageable age become suddenly pregnant. Young men are neutered in their seats.

Lovecraft circles and jives, he banks and he dodges, he dances and gambols, he sizes up his newcome bropponent and suddenly lets loose his mighty volley:

"U GAY"
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Old 05-15-2011, 07:00 PM   #192
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Metaphors, you are my fucking BITCH! As submissive as a simile, without the annoyance and high-maintenance of a fucking "like" or "as."
This is such a good post you guys.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:24 PM   #193
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haha nope would you like to try again
Yeah. I'd be the sheriff.


*dons a badge and gun belt*
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:32 PM   #194
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LADIES AND GEEEENTLEMEN.

In the blue corner we have the King of Fuck Mountain, the loquacious lothario, the reigning champ and all around great guy, LOVECRAFT68, coming out of retirement to defend his CROWWWN against... what's this?

Who's that in the red shorts? The mysterious challenger, Archon of Alliteration, Pugilating Prince of Postmodern Posting, he-hunk of the mythic west coast, LOOOORD STEEEVE!!!

the two devastating alphadoms circle and flex their girthy guns to the braying crowd. Small children faint. Young ladies of marriageable age become suddenly pregnant. Young men are neutered in their seats.

Lovecraft circles and jives, he banks and he dodges, he dances and gambols, he sizes up his newcome bropponent and suddenly lets loose his mighty volley:

"U GAY"
Wow did you read a lot of Stan Lee's early work in comic books? Because truly you are a magnificent master of manipulating alliteration in the mighty marvel manner!

Ahhh west coast cool versus east coast rude? old lion against new cub (sorry that's bad it's from Rocky 5)

Please don't flatter yourself I would never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent and bruise the only thing he has going for him; his ego

as for the "U gay" I was simply stating what it appeared you were stating that you would rather ride me than a lovely lady.

then again now that I think of it you couldn't ride her because the only way you could would be to break her and you my friend couldn't break wind after eating taco bell.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:33 PM   #195
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GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Jesus Christ. Thanks for announcing this on a public BDSM board, Mom. Instead of a private one.



One hasn't lived until one has seriously Dommed a toasted Seafood and Crab with extra onions. They are so compliant. And they make a nice crusty cracking sound when they bend.
You know I've been trying to work my way up to that but the BMT gave me such a hard time I am doubting my technique.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:55 PM   #196
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Wow did you read a lot of Stan Lee's early work in comic books? Because truly you are a magnificent master of manipulating alliteration in the mighty marvel manner!

Ahhh west coast cool versus east coast rude? old lion against new cub (sorry that's bad it's from Rocky 5)

Please don't flatter yourself I would never have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent and bruise the only thing he has going for him; his ego

as for the "U gay" I was simply stating what it appeared you were stating that you would rather ride me than a lovely lady.

then again now that I think of it you couldn't ride her because the only way you could would be to break her and you my friend couldn't break wind after eating taco bell.
nice semi-colon usage brah.

nice original burns brah.

The so-seasoned veteran of a thousand scenes chases the prince with a thousand enemies around the ring!! His gargantuan glutes clench and tremble! Steve weaves punchdrunk and blows bloody kisses to the crowd. Wham! Smack! Fart jokes! Bumper stickers! Is this the end for our plucky protagonist?

CAN HE RECOVER FROM THIS ONSLAUGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?! IS HE GAY?!? WILL AURANTICA SHOOT HIM WITH HER NEW GUN???

TUNE IN NEXT TIME
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Old 05-15-2011, 11:29 PM   #197
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You know I've been trying to work my way up to that but the BMT gave me such a hard time I am doubting my technique.
I find that with the BMT, it's all the mindfuck. You really have to get inside her pickles and press until you fucking OWN them.

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The so-seasoned veteran of a thousand scenes chases the prince with a thousand enemies around the ring!! His gargantuan glutes clench and tremble! Steve weaves punchdrunk and blows bloody kisses to the crowd. Wham! Smack! Fart jokes! Bumper stickers! Is this the end for our plucky protagonist?

CAN HE RECOVER FROM THIS ONSLAUGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?! IS HE GAY?!? WILL AURANTICA SHOOT HIM WITH HER NEW GUN???

TUNE IN NEXT TIME
I'm all agog. Agog, I say! I just went out to the garage and got my tenterhooks!
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Old 05-16-2011, 02:44 PM   #198
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I'm all agog. Agog, I say! I just went out to the garage and got my tenterhooks!
Keep them well-sharpened mon frere, I'll return when my ailing lungs stop hurling mucus into my mouth with erry breath and my blood/robitussin ratio stabilizes to something reasonable.

I'm a leetle loopy at the moment and am in no condition to give a good account of myself.
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Old 05-16-2011, 04:44 PM   #199
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Hold on, I don't wanna be kicked out of the idiot saloon, it took me ages to get into this corsetted bar wench outfit...

Sorry DGE, I forgot the password to our private BDSM forum... hope no-one else manages to get into it, boy would they be shocked!

Having read alot of this thread back, I wish Lit had a 'reputation' system. I'd be clicking my button alot.
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Thank you.
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Old 05-16-2011, 05:08 PM   #200
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Keep them well-sharpened mon frere, I'll return when my ailing lungs stop hurling mucus into my mouth with erry breath and my blood/robitussin ratio stabilizes to something reasonable.

I'm a leetle loopy at the moment and am in no condition to give a good account of myself.
Lord Steve, were you kissing subish too?
It's her fault I had bronchitis.
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