Lizzie_Borden
Real & Spectacular
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Golden.
bottom vs. sub?
- Thread starter bhndblueyes88
- Start date
Golden.
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
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sardoniclaugh
Experienced
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shush .. it was such a good quip til you came alongUnless, of course, your bottom is service oriented...
sardoniclaugh
Experienced
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Whereas if I understand Yankee DS, it's usually the tops who are arses.
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
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shush .. it was such a good quip til you came along
Oh, pashaw, it's still a good quip and you know it.
(Think of it as a flattering way to get more "seen" time)
sardoniclaugh
Experienced
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lol
yeah, well, that and service bottoms get me all happy and excited. And it's hot when you say pashaw
Netzach
>semiotics?
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Disagree somewhat.
Just because I choose to top someone doesn't mean I'm suddenly their service bitch, though it seems that that's often the implication if they're not self id'd submissive for some reason. I think it's cute, I just think this conversation is getting into "Doms are powerful and Tops are basically whipped"
It means that at some point there's been a mutual understanding of what's going to happen and what's not going to happen. Adults relating as peer to peer and someone's going to get hurt in fun ways.
I've had bottoms do more "for" me than self professed submissives at times.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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I don't take kindly to people telling me to fuck off, them being my personal property or not completely being beside the point. Why the fuck would I engage in activities that make me feel sexual, vulnerable, hot and bothered - with someone who's going to tell me to fuck off for my trouble?
Unless you're into some kind of psychic wrassling fetish, this just doesn't seem like adults having sex.
From things like this people would walk away with the interpretation that if you're just a bottom you can act like a fuckwit and no one will care, whereas if you're a submissive you have obligations.
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neci
flagged
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Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
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Indeed. This is where I get tired and irritated with these convos.
Tops can, and will, and must in many cases, be "Bossy." They may not choose to call themselves "doms"-- in part because the term is so loaded with normative connotations these days...
And Bottoms certainly can follow direction with pleasure. They may be submissive. They might not consider "submissive" to be an accurate representation of their identity.
What bothers me is how many young people think that they should and must define their identity right off the bat, without understanding what the terms mean.
And if any person, top or bottom tells their partner to fuck off-- there will be problems. How could there not be?
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sardoniclaugh
Experienced
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And another thing!
You hear a lot about folks claiming to be Doms being in error, whether deliberate or mistaken. I think the numbers are probably about the same for those calling themselves subs. Granted, it's less likely to be a real problem, but when you qualify subs with "self professed" it's worth mentioning.
As to your point re: tops being whipped, you're absolutely right. They're not. My point was really that a bottom is more concerned with enjoying the acts than a sub, while a sub is more concerned with his/her partner's enjoyment. Obviously (well, to me, anyway) it's a wide spectrum, and where ever the line is drawn is going to be somewhat arbitrary.
