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Old 07-07-2010, 08:59 PM   #51
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I'm bruised, on my thighs, and I didn't even get a beaten.
That is highly inappropriate.
 

Old 07-08-2010, 12:09 AM   #52
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I'm bruised, on my thighs, and I didn't even get a beaten.
That is highly inappropriate.
Did you run into the sharp end of a table? I seem to do that often and feel cheated the bruises aren't sex badges
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Old 07-08-2010, 09:11 AM   #53
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Did you run into the sharp end of a table? I seem to do that often and feel cheated the bruises aren't sex badges
I have bilateral bruises on my thighs above my knees, which I assume are caused from bumping into the bed side rails at work. I also have a bruise on my left lateral thigh right under my ass mark, it is pretty dark, and I have no idea where that came from. Whatever caused it did not hurt at all.

Yeah, I feel cheated too, I have been so good, if I am gonna get banged up I should have at least gotten into some trouble for it.

I was so busy last shift, I hardly perved at all! I was even impervious to the chest surgeons flirt. I might write about it.
 

Old 07-08-2010, 09:39 AM   #54
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I have bilateral bruises on my thighs above my knees, which I assume are caused from bumping into the bed side rails at work. I also have a bruise on my left lateral thigh right under my ass mark, it is pretty dark, and I have no idea where that came from. Whatever caused it did not hurt at all.

Yeah, I feel cheated too, I have been so good, if I am gonna get banged up I should have at least gotten into some trouble for it.

I was so busy last shift, I hardly perved at all! I was even impervious to the chest surgeons flirt. I might write about it.
What perfect usage of the word impervious! You have breathed new connotations into the word for me.
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Old 07-08-2010, 10:32 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
I am a professional make you piss person. If you got fluid volume over load, I know how to reduce it.

I’ve got this drug that is supposed to make him piss his brains out. I give him the drug, he’s been getting the drug, but the piss ain’t flowing. He puts out 50mls at a time of amber urine in the bottle, every 15 freaking minutes.

Bullshit! That is totally inappropriate output behavior.

I know Mr. Jones is not going to like it, but he is getting a Foley catheter. He can’t breath, and strict intake and output monitoring is essential, every last drip drip drip.

I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>

I know how to get it through, but it requires much more contact. I get a new set up; I lather his penis with more betadine and put on sterile gloves. I load the tube with lube. With my left hand I grab the base of his penis and pull it upright, taught. It is a huge penis, all squishy and soft. <fears the catheter> The right hand sterile, I advance the catheter with minor resistance. I feel the anatomy in my brain, and here comes the pee pee!

Here comes the pee pee! 100-200-300-400 mls draining at once. With a straight professional face to Mr. Jones, I am laughing in my brain, like a maniac.

Mr. Jones moans, and he feels good. I tell him, “You are doing such a good job! Look at all this urine!”

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.
You fucking pervert.

Just so you know, I've reported this post to Laurel AND the AMA.
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Old 07-08-2010, 11:04 AM   #56
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You fucking pervert.

Just so you know, I've reported this post to Laurel AND the AMA.
Please don't get me in trouble. I won't write about foley catheters anymore. I will draw JA on one breast and J on the other, AND take a picture, as the management requested, if you please take it back.
 

Old 07-08-2010, 11:21 AM   #57
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Please don't get me in trouble. I won't write about foley catheters anymore. I will draw JA on one breast and J on the other, AND take a picture, as the management requested, if you please take it back.
Well, OK then.

Make sure the J is on the right breast.
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Old 07-08-2010, 04:14 PM   #58
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Please don't get me in trouble. I won't write about foley catheters anymore. I will draw JA on one breast and J on the other, AND take a picture, as the management requested, if you please take it back.
Get busy with the sharpie sister.
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Old 07-08-2010, 04:56 PM   #59
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I love this thread so much, I want to have sex with it.
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:14 PM   #60
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Get busy with the sharpie sister.
You'd best post those pics in this thread, or I'll hire LT to come miss you entirely and claim he was there.
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Old 07-08-2010, 05:25 PM   #61
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Get busy with the sharpie sister.
Working on it.
 

Old 07-08-2010, 05:27 PM   #62
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I love this thread so much, I want to have sex with it.
future non-syndicated late night show.
 

Old 07-08-2010, 05:29 PM   #63
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You'd best post those pics in this thread, or I'll hire LT to come miss you entirely and claim he was there.
Who is LT? I will do it, once I figure out the logistics to fit in this thread. I will have to wrap my body in sterile gauze, revealing just chest.
 

Old 07-09-2010, 09:17 AM   #64
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Who is LT? I will do it, once I figure out the logistics to fit in this thread. I will have to wrap my body in sterile gauze, revealing just chest.
Kinkaaaaay.
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Old 07-09-2010, 12:15 PM   #65
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Kinkaaaaay.
I think so too.
 

Old 07-09-2010, 12:18 PM   #66
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Respiratory therapy
You wanna feel my vocal cords? Check my gag reflex? Are you working with a straight Miller blade, or curved? What kind of laryngoscope you got in that box?
 

Old 07-10-2010, 07:12 AM   #67
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I had a dream about giving oral to a laryngoscope blade, and I pretended that it was a man.

Intubation.
 

Old 07-10-2010, 11:00 PM   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
I am a professional make you piss person. If you got fluid volume over load, I know how to reduce it.

I’ve got this drug that is supposed to make him piss his brains out. I give him the drug, he’s been getting the drug, but the piss ain’t flowing. He puts out 50mls at a time of amber urine in the bottle, every 15 freaking minutes.

Bullshit! That is totally inappropriate output behavior.

I know Mr. Jones is not going to like it, but he is getting a Foley catheter. He can’t breath, and strict intake and output monitoring is essential, every last drip drip drip.

I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>

I know how to get it through, but it requires much more contact. I get a new set up; I lather his penis with more betadine and put on sterile gloves. I load the tube with lube. With my left hand I grab the base of his penis and pull it upright, taught. It is a huge penis, all squishy and soft. <fears the catheter> The right hand sterile, I advance the catheter with minor resistance. I feel the anatomy in my brain, and here comes the pee pee!

Here comes the pee pee! 100-200-300-400 mls draining at once. With a straight professional face to Mr. Jones, I am laughing in my brain, like a maniac.

Mr. Jones moans, and he feels good. I tell him, “You are doing such a good job! Look at all this urine!”

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.
woah, i will never look at catheters the same way again
 

Old 07-10-2010, 11:18 PM   #69
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Who is LT? I will do it, once I figure out the logistics to fit in this thread. I will have to wrap my body in sterile gauze, revealing just chest.
Industrial plastic wrap works, too.

Just a thought.
 

Old 07-11-2010, 09:20 AM   #70
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Tender Surgeon

There is something tender about this chest surgeon. I was so busy, I could not take the time to interpret his gentle words, or respond. My brain was in task-orientated mode.

I stand in an isolation room, dressed in an impervious blue gown; my phone is ringing off the hook in my pocket. I cannot answer. I hear his voice, in the nurse’s station, “Where is Janey?” The phone is still ringing and he follows the sound to the room and stands there watching me, wrap my patient’s leg wound. I look up and smile. I don’t know how old he is, but he looks so mature and patient, and my heart beats rapid for a minute. His silvery hair around his ears is so cute. He is short, and I wonder if he operates standing on a stool.

I finish quickly and wash my hands.

I know who he is here for. The patient needs coronary artery bypass surgery. I ask him, “Can you fix him?”

He tells me he can fix anything.

We are standing in the hall; his words push the emotional alarm inside me. His hand cups my elbow to pull me down the hall.

He tells me that he will fix my heart if anyone breaks it.

My face turns flush, and I feel myself turning warm pink. It starts at my ears and travels through my body.

We stop walking. Silence, he is searching my face but my mind is already skipping to the next task, the next medication, and the next blood pressure check.

Sometimes the desire for comfort negates the kink, as the hospital pervs.
 

Old 07-11-2010, 09:34 AM   #71
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
There is something tender about this chest surgeon. I was so busy, I could not take the time to interpret his gentle words, or respond. My brain was in task-orientated mode.

I stand in an isolation room, dressed in an impervious blue gown; my phone is ringing off the hook in my pocket. I cannot answer. I hear his voice, in the nurse’s station, “Where is Janey?” The phone is still ringing and he follows the sound to the room and stands there watching me, wrap my patient’s leg wound. I look up and smile. I don’t know how old he is, but he looks so mature and patient, and my heart beats rapid for a minute. His silvery hair around his ears is so cute. He is short, and I wonder if he operates standing on a stool.

I finish quickly and wash my hands.

I know who he is here for. The patient needs coronary artery bypass surgery. I ask him, “Can you fix him?”

He tells me he can fix anything.

We are standing in the hall; his words push the emotional alarm inside me. His hand cups my elbow to pull me down the hall.

He tells me that he will fix my heart if anyone breaks it.

My face turns flush, and I feel myself turning warm pink. It starts at my ears and travels through my body.

We stop walking. Silence, he is searching my face but my mind is already skipping to the next task, the next medication, and the next blood pressure check.

Sometimes the desire for comfort negates the kink, as the hospital pervs.
Morning, pervy, I love reading this thread.... you're good!
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Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
 

Old 07-11-2010, 09:53 AM   #72
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Morning, pervy, I love reading this thread.... you're good!
Good Morning Naughty. Thanks for the cake love.
 

Old 07-11-2010, 09:56 AM   #73
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Morning, pervy, I love reading this thread.... you're good!
*signs on*

This thread kills me.
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the mountains as the equivalent
of churchgoing. ~Aldous Huxley

"Your amiable slut makes the best of cooks."
~Dr. Steven Maturin, in The Surgeon's Mate, by Patrick O'Brian

"I saw you earlier, on the Discovery channel. You were terrorizing the nesting seabirds on the cliffs. You were totally awesome when you caught one of those somebitches in midair."
~StonedFox, to me.

There are some whose words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
"You're confident but kind, articulate and slightly bent."
~SheRem, to me.





This is what some of me looks like. Some twat's tits!
 

Old 07-11-2010, 10:00 AM   #74
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Good Morning Naughty. Thanks for the cake love.
I would like to force feed you cake in your scrubs, after that hot, pervy male RN ties you down to a chair with iv tubing.
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Old 07-11-2010, 10:00 AM   #75
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*signs on*

This thread kills me.
I don't want to kill you! Why?
 
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