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Old 06-28-2010, 08:29 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Sorry! To get to the bladder you have to pass the prostate.
Oh yeah.

How about poking around the prostate for awhile...feels good, you know?
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:25 AM   #27
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Oh yeah.

How about poking around the prostate for awhile...feels good, you know?
So, I have read.
 

Old 06-28-2010, 09:28 AM   #28
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The Code Blue Perv

“Code Blue to the Medical floor, Code Blue to the Medical floor.”

Get to the room; medical nurses are doing chest compressions, the patient is still dressed, no backboard underneath, patient not hooked up to the defibrillator pack. No pulse.

Check: Airway, Breathing, Circulation.

Janey: Can we get a backboard underneath STAT?
Hoping for ICU RN to come quick and take over, so I can be submissive in this effort to save a life.
Janey: Can we get suction set up please?
Raises the bed to the proper height for CPR, rips off the patient’s gown. Damn, the patient has a shirt on. Pulls out shears from my pocket, cuts off shirt. Breaks open the code cart.
Medical RN: The patient came in with abdominal pain.
Janey: Just keep on the chest, between the nipple line. Somebody start recording, and somebody start a large bore line in the antecubital.
Medical RN: I just felt crunching. (ribs breaking)
Janey: Good job, keep going.

In walks hot ICU RN. Evaluates the scene.

Hot ICU RN: Yeah, suction and oxygen set up now, and Janey get the defibrillator pads on.
Fuck he said suction; I am already getting the pads, he is thinking out loud.
He is at the head of the bed, and I am on his left side. The room is filled with people and he is rubbing into me.
He hooks up the monitor, while I tear open the pads.
They are stuck to my gloved hands.
Janey: My fingers are stuck, on the pads.
Hot ICU RN: They should be stuck on something else.
Pushes his shoulders into me as he reaches to pry the pads off my gloves, and gets the pads on the patient. I knock his leg with my knee to gesture, back off. I am so deprived! His touch is going to make me excited, what the hell is going on here?

Janey: You are a sick man.
Hot ICU RN: Yes I am.
Does he know we are not alone in this code?

Advanced cardiac life support carried out like some erotic dance move. The defibrillator whines as it charges. Clear, shock delivered.

I palpate for a femoral pulse.
Janey: We have a pulse!
Looks at the monitor.
Hot ICU RN: And we got a rhythm.
I giggle with delight. We are flushed with adrenaline.
Hot ICU RN: <whispers> You like that, don’t you?
Janey: Yeah, that was hot.


Perving out over resuscitation: sick.



*the patient lived
 

Old 06-28-2010, 10:24 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
“Code Blue to the Medical floor, Code Blue to the Medical floor.”

Get to the room; medical nurses are doing chest compressions, the patient is still dressed, no backboard underneath, patient not hooked up to the defibrillator pack. No pulse.

Check: Airway, Breathing, Circulation.

Janey: Can we get a backboard underneath STAT?
Hoping for ICU RN to come quick and take over, so I can be submissive in this effort to save a life.
Janey: Can we get suction set up please?
Raises the bed to the proper height for CPR, rips off the patient’s gown. Damn, the patient has a shirt on. Pulls out shears from my pocket, cuts off shirt. Breaks open the code cart.
Medical RN: The patient came in with abdominal pain.
Janey: Just keep on the chest, between the nipple line. Somebody start recording, and somebody start a large bore line in the antecubital.
Medical RN: I just felt crunching. (ribs breaking)
Janey: Good job, keep going.

In walks hot ICU RN. Evaluates the scene.

Hot ICU RN: Yeah, suction and oxygen set up now, and Janey get the defibrillator pads on.
Fuck he said suction; I am already getting the pads, he is thinking out loud.
He is at the head of the bed, and I am on his left side. The room is filled with people and he is rubbing into me.
He hooks up the monitor, while I tear open the pads.
They are stuck to my gloved hands.
Janey: My fingers are stuck, on the pads.
Hot ICU RN: They should be stuck on something else.
Pushes his shoulders into me as he reaches to pry the pads off my gloves, and gets the pads on the patient. I knock his leg with my knee to gesture, back off. I am so deprived! His touch is going to make me excited, what the hell is going on here?

Janey: You are a sick man.
Hot ICU RN: Yes I am.
Does he know we are not alone in this code?

Advanced cardiac life support carried out like some erotic dance move. The defibrillator whines as it charges. Clear, shock delivered.

I palpate for a femoral pulse.
Janey: We have a pulse!
Looks at the monitor.
Hot ICU RN: And we got a rhythm.
I giggle with delight. We are flushed with adrenaline.
Hot ICU RN: <whispers> You like that, don’t you?
Janey: Yeah, that was hot.


Perving out over resuscitation: sick.



*the patient lived
Mmmm, you are indeed a perv! More!
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:20 AM   #30
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Mmmm, you are indeed a perv! More!
I like cupcakes, naughty cakes. :-)
 

Old 06-29-2010, 08:27 AM   #31
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I like cupcakes, naughty cakes. :-)
I like force-feeding girly pervs cupcakes. Know of any who might want a facefull?

So, what about this hot RN guy, is he a perv, too?
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:27 AM   #32
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DNR tat

I am going to tattoo DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on my chest, right at the xiphoid process, in black bold letters. Font: Impact.

When I “code blue” pre-hospital, the Paramedic will cut my shirt off with his trauma shears, see my chest splayed wide open before him.

I will leave this world happy, giving the last man to see me: A huge fucking boner.
 

Old 06-29-2010, 08:36 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
I am going to tattoo DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on my chest, right at the xiphoid process, in black bold letters. Font: Impact.

When I “code blue” pre-hospital, the Paramedic will cut my shirt off with his trauma shears, see my chest splayed wide open before him.

I will leave this world happy, giving the last man to see me: A huge fucking boner.
So you have nice boobs?

Besides being a completely inappropriate perv. Not that that's a bad thing.
 

Old 06-29-2010, 08:43 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes View Post
I like force-feeding girly pervs cupcakes. Know of any who might want a facefull?

So, what about this hot RN guy, is he a perv, too?
I need to be force-fed sometimes.

I guess he is kinda pervy for pulling that verbiage in a code blue situation! We message a lot at work, I think he is more flirty than pervy though. Some messages get the perv on: for example I tell him I have a fluid volume fetish, he tells me he has a whip made of IV tubing. Mostly he is tender though, when I have a bad day, I tell him I need a LOVaphed drip, (it is a spin off of a drug levophed) he once took an empty dextrose IV fluid bag, somehow made it red, put a label on it that said "LOVaphed in dextrose, cause it is sweeter", and sent it to me in a sealed envelope with my name on it via the hospital bullet system!

He is taken, and anyway, even if he was not: I messaged him, that if he was not taken, I would beg to be his submissive little thing. (his mind turns me on) He told me that: It would be great, but he would not know what to do with a submissive girl, he does not have any whims. (or something like that)

The relationship, is professional, with a little small dose of fun.

What if he is a perv and reading this right now!? My cover will surely be blown.
 

Old 06-29-2010, 08:48 AM   #35
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So you have nice boobs?

Besides being a completely inappropriate perv. Not that that's a bad thing.
"nice boobs?" What boobs are not nice? Not that I am into boobs or anything like that, I do appreciate them, all kinds.
 

Old 06-29-2010, 09:05 AM   #36
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I need to be force-fed sometimes.

I guess he is kinda pervy for pulling that verbiage in a code blue situation! We message a lot at work, I think he is more flirty than pervy though. Some messages get the perv on: for example I tell him I have a fluid volume fetish, he tells me he has a whip made of IV tubing. Mostly he is tender though, when I have a bad day, I tell him I need a LOVaphed drip, (it is a spin off of a drug levophed) he once took an empty dextrose IV fluid bag, somehow made it red, put a label on it that said "LOVaphed in dextrose, cause it is sweeter", and sent it to me in a sealed envelope with my name on it via the hospital bullet system!

He is taken, and anyway, even if he was not: I messaged him, that if he was not taken, I would beg to be his submissive little thing. (his mind turns me on) He told me that: It would be great, but he would not know what to do with a submissive girl, he does not have any whims. (or something like that)

The relationship, is professional, with a little small dose of fun.

What if he is a perv and reading this right now!? My cover will surely be blown.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! That is so fucking cute, seriously. Too bad he's taken. Sounds like a perv to me, though. Mmm, getting whipped with an iv tube sounds seriously hot. He sounds like he would know what to do, but I'm sure you'll find greener pastures.

I just started dating a guy who claims he's vanilla, yet the first time we hooked up, he stole my panties and then has proceeded to text me several times telling me he's used them to jack off.

I told him he was the vanilla thrilla of ma' nilla. He also jokingly slapped my face as we were making out. Vanilla, ha! There are too many people invested in that fantasy, but if it quacks like a duck...

I like the DNR tattoo idea. I've thought about getting a bracelet but I hate most jewelry. My best friend is a nurse so I get all kinds of crazy hospital stories. She's not as pervy as you though
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:12 AM   #37
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"nice boobs?" What boobs are not nice? Not that I am into boobs or anything like that, I do appreciate them, all kinds.
You should post a pic here, and we can confirm that they are nice.
 

Old 06-29-2010, 09:34 AM   #38
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Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! That is so fucking cute, seriously. Too bad he's taken. Sounds like a perv to me, though. Mmm, getting whipped with an iv tube sounds seriously hot. He sounds like he would know what to do, but I'm sure you'll find greener pastures.

I just started dating a guy who claims he's vanilla, yet the first time we hooked up, he stole my panties and then has proceeded to text me several times telling me he's used them to jack off.

I told him he was the vanilla thrilla of ma' nilla. He also jokingly slapped my face as we were making out. Vanilla, ha! There are too many people invested in that fantasy, but if it quacks like a duck...

I like the DNR tattoo idea. I've thought about getting a bracelet but I hate most jewelry. My best friend is a nurse so I get all kinds of crazy hospital stories. She's not as pervy as you though
Yeah, it is tender. We stroke each others egos.

That is great about your guy. I look around to the men around me and wonder, all the time about them. It is a big mystery to me. I am kinda on the anti-social side, so I just don't waste my energy.

I am with you on the jewelry thing, I hardly wear any. I think though, that if I had a guy, I would wear all the jewelry he buys for me, especially bracelets, and anklets, kind of like a public symbol of my bondage to him.

Yes! I win the most perverted nurse crown in your world!
 

Old 07-02-2010, 01:50 PM   #39
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The transport RN dropped off soft preztels to us. He said: since you are working all weekend. I think he liked my phone voice. Anyway, the thought rocks my socks. To bad I was busy with my septic patient to give him attention.
 

Old 07-02-2010, 02:04 PM   #40
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Nurse pervs on lunch break, where is that stretcher with the straps?
 

Old 07-02-2010, 03:34 PM   #41
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The HD nurse is making me her bitch, as the pump turns, sled style.
 

Old 07-02-2010, 06:26 PM   #42
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It's time for the harpy porn show on the surgical floor. Everyone get excited.
 

Old 07-03-2010, 06:09 AM   #43
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Head wounds may cause erections.
 

Old 07-03-2010, 08:50 AM   #44
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I've got a whip, it has 12 leads. Unfortunately, I'm in charge around here today. Everyone better comply, so I don't have to use it.
 

Old 07-03-2010, 01:18 PM   #45
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Fuck no! I'm not inserting a 24 French foley catheter on your patient. I'll irrigate the clots for you nursey, that's it.
Garden hose
 

Old 07-03-2010, 01:49 PM   #46
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Janey: I'm glad I don't have a prostate.
MD: yeah, but you got a nose.
Janey: <confused> great now he wants to fuck my cute nose.
 

Old 07-07-2010, 04:23 PM   #47
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Time is muscle.
Janey: I'm the queen of blood thinners. Sign by the X so I can wheel you to the cath lab, there the interventional cardiologist will place a stent in your heart. I've got a big dose of morphine for ya right here. I'll see you in a bit. I'll be waiting for you. <hugs the wife>
 

Old 07-07-2010, 04:36 PM   #48
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All this talk of foleys is the opposite of erotic to me.

Some totally perv on it, I'm sure...the same people that like sounds inserted in their urethras.
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Old 07-07-2010, 08:25 PM   #49
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All this talk of foleys is the opposite of erotic to me.

Some totally perv on it, I'm sure...the same people that like sounds inserted in their urethras.
Yeah, no more foleys! I don't know what a urethra sound insertion is...idk
 

Old 07-07-2010, 08:27 PM   #50
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I'm not a super hero. It's the under armour.
 
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