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Old 06-27-2010, 09:35 PM   #1
sweepthefloor
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As The Hospital Pervs

This is where everything at the hospital becomes perverse in some way. I can’t help it, so here is the medical kink.

If you like medical, please share with me, the hospital is a lonely world.

*Disclaimer: All warped scenarios have been altered in some way to protect the innocent, unharmed from my filthy mind.

*Also, I love my job, if you have any questions, just ask your nurse.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 09:38 PM   #2
Bert Notorius
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
This is where everything at the hospital becomes perverse in some way. I can’t help it, so here is the medical kink.

If you like medical, please share with me, the hospital is a lonely world.

*Disclaimer: All warped scenarios have been altered in some way to protect the innocent, unharmed from my filthy mind.

*Also, I love my job, if you have any questions, just ask your nurse.
You first.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 09:58 PM   #3
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A huge Walnut

I am a professional make you piss person. If you got fluid volume over load, I know how to reduce it.

I’ve got this drug that is supposed to make him piss his brains out. I give him the drug, he’s been getting the drug, but the piss ain’t flowing. He puts out 50mls at a time of amber urine in the bottle, every 15 freaking minutes.

Bullshit! That is totally inappropriate output behavior.

I know Mr. Jones is not going to like it, but he is getting a Foley catheter. He can’t breath, and strict intake and output monitoring is essential, every last drip drip drip.

I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>

I know how to get it through, but it requires much more contact. I get a new set up; I lather his penis with more betadine and put on sterile gloves. I load the tube with lube. With my left hand I grab the base of his penis and pull it upright, taught. It is a huge penis, all squishy and soft. <fears the catheter> The right hand sterile, I advance the catheter with minor resistance. I feel the anatomy in my brain, and here comes the pee pee!

Here comes the pee pee! 100-200-300-400 mls draining at once. With a straight professional face to Mr. Jones, I am laughing in my brain, like a maniac.

Mr. Jones moans, and he feels good. I tell him, “You are doing such a good job! Look at all this urine!”

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 09:59 PM   #4
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I was kidding.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 09:59 PM   #5
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just go to the role playing forum already.

fucking hell.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 10:00 PM   #6
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You first.
I am sick.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 10:02 PM   #7
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just go to the role playing forum already.

fucking hell.
I don't have to role play, this is my job.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 10:46 PM   #8
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What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!
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There are many systems of philosophy and political life which try to base law and all human relationships upon the nature of man. Man is made the measure of all things. All such systems, whether communism or humanism, or socialism, are doomed to fail because of one fatal flaw: they do not recognize the sinful, self-centered nature of man.
They ignore God and deify man.


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Old 06-27-2010, 11:01 PM   #9
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Well Now

Quote:
Originally Posted by fgarvb1 View Post
What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!
... and just how do you prefer that 'sweepthefloor' go about removing a Foley catheter?
It's either quick and painful or slow and painful; your choice.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 11:02 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by fgarvb1 View Post
What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!
I have never hurt anyone pulling out a catheter.
 

Old 06-27-2010, 11:06 PM   #11
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What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!
Do they choke you first?
 

Old 06-27-2010, 11:08 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
I am a professional make you piss person. If you got fluid volume over load, I know how to reduce it.

I’ve got this drug that is supposed to make him piss his brains out. I give him the drug, he’s been getting the drug, but the piss ain’t flowing. He puts out 50mls at a time of amber urine in the bottle, every 15 freaking minutes.

Bullshit! That is totally inappropriate output behavior.

I know Mr. Jones is not going to like it, but he is getting a Foley catheter. He can’t breath, and strict intake and output monitoring is essential, every last drip drip drip.

I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>

I know how to get it through, but it requires much more contact. I get a new set up; I lather his penis with more betadine and put on sterile gloves. I load the tube with lube. With my left hand I grab the base of his penis and pull it upright, taught. It is a huge penis, all squishy and soft. <fears the catheter> The right hand sterile, I advance the catheter with minor resistance. I feel the anatomy in my brain, and here comes the pee pee!

Here comes the pee pee! 100-200-300-400 mls draining at once. With a straight professional face to Mr. Jones, I am laughing in my brain, like a maniac.

Mr. Jones moans, and he feels good. I tell him, “You are doing such a good job! Look at all this urine!”

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.
Nice! You're a total perv!
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Old 06-27-2010, 11:11 PM   #13
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Well,

My urologist did some irrigation with saline and a syringe as it was being removed.

Didn't hurt or sting at all.
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love with a gorgeous redhead"

The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse— who can understand it? -- Jer. 17:9

There are many systems of philosophy and political life which try to base law and all human relationships upon the nature of man. Man is made the measure of all things. All such systems, whether communism or humanism, or socialism, are doomed to fail because of one fatal flaw: they do not recognize the sinful, self-centered nature of man.
They ignore God and deify man.


BOAT = Bust Out Another Thousand
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:18 AM   #14
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Nice! You're a total perv!
Thank you for validating my pervy-ness. :-)
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:19 AM   #15
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I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.
So you have a lot of relevant experience.
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:27 AM   #16
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Well,

My urologist did some irrigation with saline and a syringe as it was being removed.

Didn't hurt or sting at all.
Yeah should not hurt more than the insertion, seriously. Urogenital has to be one of the worse though, I feel for ya. My most memorable painful situation as a nurse so far, has to be the male patient with the 3 way garden hose shoved into his penis, getting continuous bladder irrigation. Fuck!

I was removing/flushing painful blood clots from his bladder like every fifteen minutes. He was screaming in pain. I told him, "Here we go, brace for it."

I never shoved so much BELLADONNA AND OPIUM SUPPOSITORYS up a mans ass, as much as this particular patient.
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:30 AM   #17
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So you have a lot of relevant experience.
I don't know if this experience counts in my goal to achieve submissive slut status. <sighs>
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:35 AM   #18
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... and just how do you prefer that 'sweepthefloor' go about removing a Foley catheter?
It's either quick and painful or slow and painful; your choice.
First you have to deflate the balloon, then it comes out easily.
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:39 AM   #19
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I don't know if this experience counts in my goal to achieve submissive slut status. <sighs>
It's always good to have a goal.
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:40 AM   #20
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Yeah should not hurt more than the insertion, seriously. Urogenital has to be one of the worse though, I feel for ya. My most memorable painful situation as a nurse so far, has to be the male patient with the 3 way garden hose shoved into his penis, getting continuous bladder irrigation. Fuck!

I was removing/flushing painful blood clots from his bladder like every fifteen minutes. He was screaming in pain. I told him, "Here we go, brace for it."

I never shoved so much BELLADONNA AND OPIUM SUPPOSITORYS up a mans ass, as much as this particular patient.
Blood clots, plugged catheter, irrigation, bladder spasms; it adds up to real serious pain.
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:41 AM   #21
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First you have to deflate the balloon, then it comes out easily.
Exactly.
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:42 AM   #22
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...I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>...
The prostate is up the butt, not down the wiener!

I had a stiffy and a rubber glove and was getting off and this totally pulled me out of the story!
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:43 AM   #23
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Blood clots, plugged catheter, irrigation, bladder spasms; it adds up to real serious pain.
Yes, the worst. It really sucks, and I have never felt it, but just "caring" for this problem...<ouch>
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:45 AM   #24
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It's always good to have a goal.
The goal is essential in nursing theory. There is always a goal, and I have it.
 

Old 06-28-2010, 07:46 AM   #25
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The prostate is up the butt, not down the wiener!

I had a stiffy and a rubber glove and was getting off and this totally pulled me out of the story!
Sorry! To get to the bladder you have to pass the prostate.
 
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