As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

This is where everything at the hospital becomes perverse in some way. I can’t help it, so here is the medical kink.

If you like medical, please share with me, the hospital is a lonely world.

*Disclaimer: All warped scenarios have been altered in some way to protect the innocent, unharmed from my filthy mind.

*Also, I love my job, if you have any questions, just ask your nurse.

[Bert Notorius]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

This is where everything at the hospital becomes perverse in some way. I can’t help it, so here is the medical kink.

If you like medical, please share with me, the hospital is a lonely world.

*Disclaimer: All warped scenarios have been altered in some way to protect the innocent, unharmed from my filthy mind.

*Also, I love my job, if you have any questions, just ask your nurse.

You first.

[sweepthefloor]

I am a professional make you piss person. If you got fluid volume over load, I know how to reduce it.

I’ve got this drug that is supposed to make him piss his brains out. I give him the drug, he’s been getting the drug, but the piss ain’t flowing. He puts out 50mls at a time of amber urine in the bottle, every 15 freaking minutes.

Bullshit! That is totally inappropriate output behavior.

I know Mr. Jones is not going to like it, but he is getting a Foley catheter. He can’t breath, and strict intake and output monitoring is essential, every last drip drip drip.

I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>

I know how to get it through, but it requires much more contact. I get a new set up; I lather his penis with more betadine and put on sterile gloves. I load the tube with lube. With my left hand I grab the base of his penis and pull it upright, taught. It is a huge penis, all squishy and soft. <fears the catheter> The right hand sterile, I advance the catheter with minor resistance. I feel the anatomy in my brain, and here comes the pee pee!

Here comes the pee pee! 100-200-300-400 mls draining at once. With a straight professional face to Mr. Jones, I am laughing in my brain, like a maniac.

Mr. Jones moans, and he feels good. I tell him, “You are doing such a good job! Look at all this urine!”

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.

[Bert Notorius]

I was kidding.

[pointless]

just go to the role playing forum already.

fucking hell.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by Bert Notorius

You first.

I am sick.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by pointless

just go to the role playing forum already.

fucking hell.

I don't have to role play, this is my job.

[fgarvb1]

What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!

[Loring2]

Originally Posted by fgarvb1

What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!

... and just how do you prefer that 'sweepthefloor' go about removing a Foley catheter?
It's either quick and painful or slow and painful; your choice.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by fgarvb1

What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!

I have never hurt anyone pulling out a catheter.

[firespin]

Originally Posted by fgarvb1

What I hate is those bitches that remove a Foley catheter like they are trying to start a 6.5 HP Briggs & Stratton air cooled engine!

That is NOT how you are supposed to do it!

Do they choke you first?

[naughtycakes]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

I am a professional make you piss person. If you got fluid volume over load, I know how to reduce it.

I’ve got this drug that is supposed to make him piss his brains out. I give him the drug, he’s been getting the drug, but the piss ain’t flowing. He puts out 50mls at a time of amber urine in the bottle, every 15 freaking minutes.

Bullshit! That is totally inappropriate output behavior.

I know Mr. Jones is not going to like it, but he is getting a Foley catheter. He can’t breath, and strict intake and output monitoring is essential, every last drip drip drip.

I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>

I know how to get it through, but it requires much more contact. I get a new set up; I lather his penis with more betadine and put on sterile gloves. I load the tube with lube. With my left hand I grab the base of his penis and pull it upright, taught. It is a huge penis, all squishy and soft. <fears the catheter> The right hand sterile, I advance the catheter with minor resistance. I feel the anatomy in my brain, and here comes the pee pee!

Here comes the pee pee! 100-200-300-400 mls draining at once. With a straight professional face to Mr. Jones, I am laughing in my brain, like a maniac.

Mr. Jones moans, and he feels good. I tell him, “You are doing such a good job! Look at all this urine!”

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.

Nice! You're a total perv!

[fgarvb1]

Well,

My urologist did some irrigation with saline and a syringe as it was being removed.

Didn't hurt or sting at all.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by naughtycakes

Nice! You're a total perv!

Thank you for validating my pervy-ness. :-)

[firespin]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

I have seen and fondled more dick than a hooker.

So you have a lot of relevant experience.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by fgarvb1

Well,

My urologist did some irrigation with saline and a syringe as it was being removed.

Didn't hurt or sting at all.

Yeah should not hurt more than the insertion, seriously. Urogenital has to be one of the worse though, I feel for ya. My most memorable painful situation as a nurse so far, has to be the male patient with the 3 way garden hose shoved into his penis, getting continuous bladder irrigation. Fuck!

I was removing/flushing painful blood clots from his bladder like every fifteen minutes. He was screaming in pain. I told him, "Here we go, brace for it."

I never shoved so much BELLADONNA AND OPIUM SUPPOSITORYS up a mans ass, as much as this particular patient.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by firespin

So you have a lot of relevant experience.

I don't know if this experience counts in my goal to achieve submissive slut status. <sighs>

[squarejohn]

Originally Posted by Loring2

... and just how do you prefer that 'sweepthefloor' go about removing a Foley catheter?
It's either quick and painful or slow and painful; your choice.

First you have to deflate the balloon, then it comes out easily.

[firespin]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

I don't know if this experience counts in my goal to achieve submissive slut status. <sighs>

It's always good to have a goal.

[squarejohn]

Originally Posted by sweepthefloor

Yeah should not hurt more than the insertion, seriously. Urogenital has to be one of the worse though, I feel for ya. My most memorable painful situation as a nurse so far, has to be the male patient with the 3 way garden hose shoved into his penis, getting continuous bladder irrigation. Fuck!

I was removing/flushing painful blood clots from his bladder like every fifteen minutes. He was screaming in pain. I told him, "Here we go, brace for it."

I never shoved so much BELLADONNA AND OPIUM SUPPOSITORYS up a mans ass, as much as this particular patient.

Blood clots, plugged catheter, irrigation, bladder spasms; it adds up to real serious pain.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by squarejohn

First you have to deflate the balloon, then it comes out easily.

Exactly.

[jomar]

...I say, “Mr. Jones, can you lay back in bed, I have to put a tube in your bladder, through your pee hole. You will feel better.”

Mr. Jones lays back; I close the curtain and attempt to insert the catheter, in a most sterile manner.

Fuck! Resistance! Mr. Jones must have a huge fucking walnut in there, damn.

I tell him, “Mr. Jones, I think your prostate is enlarged, have you ever had an exam?” He tells me no. <thinks about putting my gloved finger in his ass>...

The prostate is up the butt, not down the wiener!

I had a stiffy and a rubber glove and was getting off and this totally pulled me out of the story!

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by squarejohn

Blood clots, plugged catheter, irrigation, bladder spasms; it adds up to real serious pain.

Yes, the worst. It really sucks, and I have never felt it, but just "caring" for this problem...<ouch>

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by firespin

It's always good to have a goal.

The goal is essential in nursing theory. There is always a goal, and I have it.

[sweepthefloor]

Originally Posted by jomar

The prostate is up the butt, not down the wiener!

I had a stiffy and a rubber glove and was getting off and this totally pulled me out of the story!

Sorry! To get to the bladder you have to pass the prostate.