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exercise - 100 word description - dialogue

wildsweetone

wildsweetone

i am what i am
Joined
Feb 1, 2002
Posts
6,809
see if you can portray your character through their speech, or through how someone else speaks to them, your choice. avoid use of words outside of speech.

aim for approx 100 words, the closer, the better.

:rose:
 
“Nah, you know what Tim's like man; the big puff. He was screaming & shouting & effing & blinding like I'd just stole his little boys Star Wars figures or something. It was really funny, a bit of a shock, but really funny. Tim, threatening me of all people. He must have been scared. I don't suppose for one minute he could handle doing bird though. He'd end up someones bitch... He's lucky, it's a good job I like him. I might have to cut off one of his toes though, to teach him to watch his mouth.”
 
“I require total obedience Alais, which is what you swore to me before your God yesterday. You will not question any command I give you or I will punish you. That way, you will learn very fast because my time is valuable. I could hold you down, rut for five minutes like a dutiful husband and then seek whores for more interesting liaisons but for some reason, I'm willing to teach you how to please me. Get yourself shriven in the morning if you must but do not presume to dictate to me how I may take my marital rights.”
 
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"I'll tell you what I am. I'm an asshole! A predator of women. I prey on those lonely housewives that don't get enough loving from their limp dicked impotent husbands. I find 'em, sweet talk 'em and fuck their hot eager pussies till they beg me to cum in them. I use them for what they are; cheating cum receptacles to be used, abused and dumped. And you know what? They love it! They actually love being treated like whores! This world can't have enough desperate milfs in it and I'll screw every single wanton slut that comes my way!"
 
Mrs. Harrison's Husband

"What can you tell me about your husband, Mrs. Harrison?"
"He is a little wimp of a man; he has no backbone and does what I tell him. He tells me his only joy in life is keeping me happy."
"Well why on earth do you stay with him?"
"That is easy to answer, he may legally be my husband, but in reality he's my slave. He works two jobs to keep me in a lavish lifestyle and still has time to do all the housework. On top of that, he is my personal servant, whom else would I want
 
“It’s been a while hasn’t it. Almost a year since the last time we spent any real time together.” Karen paused. “Fine, you don’t feel like talking right now? Then you can just listen, you owe me that much after what you’ve done to me. No that’s not what I want to talk about, I forgave you for that. I want to know why you helped me. I wouldn’t have lent you the money.”

“It’s not a loan, it’s a gift I wouldn’t mind getting back someday. We both know you’re never going to pay me back.”

“Then why?”
 
"I can be your best dream, I can be your worst nightmare. It makes no difference to me. Choose what you want and be ready to defend your choice. Choose today how you want me, if you want me at all. I demand respect and will give it freely, if you earn it. I expect to earn the respect I demand. Can you accept all of this from me? I can reward you greatly, or punish you severly, the choice remains yours. I don't tolerate brattiness, but I can appreciate a little bit of the naughtiness I know you possess. It pleases me."
 
Drama anyone?

"God Marissa! I don't know what makes me hate you more, the fact that you can't see what I'm talking about, or the way you don't even try! News flash bitch! I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way fractals make your eyes light up, I hate it when you dream about Oppenheimer! But I really hate the way you make my cock throb when you laugh or breathe or speak or just fuckin' show up on time!

Congratulations bitch. You're the first woman I ever loved.

And I'll never forgive you for it."
 
“Miss Parr—no, Helen. Why have you been so hostile to me recently? As a teacher, I shouldn’t even have to ask you something like this. If you’re mad or upset with me, it’s obvious enough that you bring the issue calmly out into the open instead of glaring at me through those wide eyes of yours like you usually do with your peers. How can you expect me to know what’s the matter if you don’t even say anything? You’ve always been such a very quiet girl. No one ever truly knows what goes on behind that tight-lipped mouth.”
 
"Please state your name for the record"
“Jack Samuel”
“Jack, Where were you doing on the day in question”
“I was at home, just the wife and me at our country farmhouse.”
“and what were you doing at home”
“I am a writer, I had been locked in my study alone for most of the day. My glasses had even gotten foggy because of the stuffy heat.”
“So you were alone when the intruder broke in?”
“Alone in the study yes. My wife was upstairs and didn’t even hear the intruder. I was scared because compared to me she was a large woman, very dominant.”
 
"Why do you look at me like that? I am not that scary. Would it helped if I smiled? Trust me, it's worse. Please tell me I've got a crooked smile and these eyes have too much of a shadow on them. I have heard it before. They say I am looking past you, like you aren't even there, like your entire life is pointless and when you look at me you know it. I would apologize but I didn't choose to be this way. I contemplate you while you fear me."
 
"May- December romance in the Hood"

"I aint gotta be bothered with broke-ass punks, chumps and creeps. I got the golden ticket sugar. I heard they call me sunshine. Damn straight ! I got the best fuckin’ pussy on the planet. Sometimes just for the hell of it I don't wash before I go to the corner store just to give the haters a sniff of what they wish they was gettiin'. My rents paid. My lights are on. My refrigerators full, and that's right, I got a pair of wrinkled up nuts in my bed. They might be old but they gold to me damnit."
 
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"She was the broken breath of a dying man's sigh, the kind of killer you dreamed of in your succubus nightmares. Hips and breasts and the sort of fine musculature of a thoroughbred racehorse, shocking white skin and painted lips like a Geisha mask. I didn't understand her, didn't even dare try, all I knew was that she had drained me dry of my past life like she drained me dry of blood, all the memories of my wife and children lay like shards of a broken mirror. And although she was the cause of wars, pestilence and plague...the destroyer of worlds for centuries beyond counting...I still loved her."
 
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"I prefer the whip to the other accoutrements -- the hot oil, the knives. If you learn proper control, the whip is more than enough.

They say it's all in the wrist -- and they are right, though they speak of the flick that causes the tip to break the sound barrier, 'cracking' the whip. In this they are wrong.

The wrist is the pivot -- it is the motion sideways that drags that steel-tipped leather strap across your flesh in a definite line, that finds the most sensitive places on your back and slips over so stingingly again and again ..."
 
A man - yet... or still?

Funny, at first, to see a dress on him. Softness in a man's voice perhaps, hands slightly feminine OK, even mannerisms, but clothing - rarely, yet he was in a skirt and my opinion was set before our introduction. That changed, that opinion - slightly, although not too much else as we talked. Then we talked about when we were boys, as I defined them, while he claimed to be more girl even then and suddenly I saw her. She was there all along, of course, but I didn't see her till I gave up nearly all of my notions.

Hugs (word not counted)
 
The rough start of a much, much longer piece for a friend

Coming out of the sun-bright terminal he found her, standing by the baggage claim. The heels drew his eyes first, black as sin, seven inches of shiny lust wrapped around porcelain skin and cherry red toenails. The long curve of her leg drew his eyes up to the full black skirt that flirted with her knees. Her hair spilled down her back in a fall of summer color- copper and gold and platinum, and her lips curved in a demure cupid’s bow. She lifted a hand to touch his short hair, trailed a finger down his cheek.

“Welcome home, soldier.”
 
Her hand glided down his cheek as they looked into each other’s eyes deeply. “You really mean that Aaron?” she asked.

“Of course I do, I love you so much Laura that it hurts,” said Aaron as his hand casually brushed her naked chest.

“Ok good, because that’s the same way I feel about you, it feels like its going to swallow me up and strangle me sometimes,” said Laura a tear dripping from her eye.

Aaron grinned flashing his white teeth at her, showing his dimples. Laura rolled onto him and wrapped her legs around him kissing him passionately.

(woot! 100 words again!)
 
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Just a regular guy who'll drive you crazy

Isn't this just the best place? I mean it's just great. This is the best Indian food in LA, what do you think? I know Indian food and this is the best. I'm really glad we came here, I haven't been here in a while. I used to come here all the time. They all know me. Isn’t this food great? They used to be down on Third Street. Do you remember that? I used to go there all the time. It’s the best Indian food in town, no question about it. I’m really glad we decided to come here.
 
"Kyla? I don't know what to say. She can be rather horrible and irritating at times. Sometimes I don't know whether to hate her or to love her! She's impossible and I can't get her to listen to a thing I say! I don't know what to do with her anymore. Sometimes it's like she doesn't even know I'm there anymore. How can anyone deal with someone like that? She parties all night, then goes to College first thing in the morning! It's like she doesn't even sleep. She doesn't have time for herself, let alone me! What else can I say about her?"

((XD. It's bad, but I'm sleepy.))
 
“You should have seen it!” Dodgy says, more to Wildman than to us. “He got that monster up to the boat and it was huge. Huge. I mean it made Wildman’s thirty-eight pounder look like bait. I never really got what you meant about salmon being gorgeous until that day. It was massive; it had to be pushing seventy pounds. I came over with the gaff but The Kid just waved me off without even looking at me. The body was so silver and its back, geez, that back was this deep, shimmery purple, Jesus H, Wildman, you would have cried.”
 
thanks for sharing your dialogue descriptions, i really enjoy coming in and reading them. i hope you're having fun with the writing.

:rose:
 
"Why didja do it, Goergie"?
"Well, Mr Smith, we have been married for over ten years. She was gentle and loving at first, but she started reading a lot of modern woman's magazines and then started dictating what she wanted. No thought for US or even me. It was when she bought that whip that I got scared.
Then one night she persuaded me to lie down on my stomach and she whipped me!. And it fucking Hurt. It was about as far away from sex and Pluto is from the Sun. But she patched up the cuts and bathed my back. It took 24 hours before I could move and three days before I could manage on my own. I even suggested she seek help but she just wanted violent sex; not even a simple cuddle.
Well, Sir, she had another go last night and I'd had enough. Despite my please for her to stop, she did it again and again.

I just could not take any more. I found her gun in the bedside cabinet and shot her. I didn't mean to kill her; just stop the pain."
 
Industrial_Bondage said:
“What can I say about Abigail? She’s one of a kind, a myth, an urban legend; a hooker with a heart of gold. She’s a symphony conducted in an alleyway, the Mona Lisa in a bathroom stall. She’s a leggy blonde, when she can afford to be, who should have been a kindergarten teacher; she had the smile and heart for it. She was smart enough for it, but smarts aren’t always enough in this world. Ask her about her folks, you wont get much; she followed Mom into the family business, Dad got her started in the trade early; offered her a specialized education all her own. She was a good kid, and she’s dead.”
Click to expand...


ohh, is there more?
 
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