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12-10-2008, 11:46 PM
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#101
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Literotica Guru
fatang is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: here, there, and everywhere
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope
Okay I can see some people, like, NOT seeing my erotic prose, but there's no excuse for not laughing out loud at this.  |
thanks brotha, for tha love! |
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12-10-2008, 11:48 PM
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#102
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Huanctabulous!
naughtycakes is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: in a constant state of arousal
Posts: 16,541
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MechaBlade
Actually, you do have to. Muhahaaha.
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I do?
Ok, I'll tell you a pervy shit story. This is the closest I've ever come to being turned on by anything to do with fecal matter. My best friend had to have a colonoscopy and I was staying with her at her house, visiting, and was going to take her to the procedure. She couldn't eat anything for 24 hours and had to drink these pills every couple hours to purge her system.
We rented some movies and got in her bed and just smoked a bunch of weed and chit-chatted to make her forget about the pills and the pooping. Soon, she was pooping like every couple hours, and her asshole became exremely sensitive and the poor thing was like crying and pooping and we were laughing and she kept pooping and crying and whining and complaining about her tender, sore little asshole. At one point, she tried putting cream on it and that backfired. For some reason, I just got such a sadistic rush from her whining and crying and kept thinking about her beleaguered butthole, hahahaha.
In my own defense, I'd seen it up close before and it was a cute one.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wok
Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
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12-10-2008, 11:50 PM
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#103
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irrumatio king
MechaBlade is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: MechaLand
Posts: 43,325
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
I do?
Ok, I'll tell you a pervy shit story. This is the closest I've ever come to being turned on by anything to do with fecal matter. My best friend had to have a colonoscopy and I was staying with her at her house, visiting, and was going to take her to the procedure. She couldn't eat anything for 24 hours and had to drink these pills every couple hours to purge her system.
We rented some movies and got in her bed and just smoked a bunch of weed and chit-chatted to make her forget about the pills and the pooping. Soon, she was pooping like every couple hours, and her asshole became exremely sensitive and the poor thing was like crying and pooping and we were laughing and she kept pooping and crying and whining and complaining about her tender, sore little asshole. At one point, she tried putting cream on it and that backfired. For some reason, I just got such a sadistic rush from her whining and crying and kept thinking about her beleaguered butthole, hahahaha.
In my own defense, I'd seen it up close before and it was a cute one. |
Hot shit.
I'm always down for some girl anus pain.
__________________
Lit Profile
If it can be done, then it turns someone on. If it can't be done, then it still probably turns someone on.
"Love is God's work, not mine. I seek only to devour the flesh."
-Pirates 2
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12-10-2008, 11:52 PM
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#104
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Huanctabulous!
naughtycakes is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: in a constant state of arousal
Posts: 16,541
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MechaBlade
Hot shit.
I'm always down for some girl anus pain.
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Invest in ginger. Real bang for your buck. Burns like fucking crazy.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wok
Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
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12-10-2008, 11:52 PM
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#105
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Literotica Guru
fatang is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: here, there, and everywhere
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
I do?
Ok, I'll tell you a pervy shit story. This is the closest I've ever come to being turned on by anything to do with fecal matter. My best friend had to have a colonoscopy and I was staying with her at her house, visiting, and was going to take her to the procedure. She couldn't eat anything for 24 hours and had to drink these pills every couple hours to purge her system.
We rented some movies and got in her bed and just smoked a bunch of weed and chit-chatted to make her forget about the pills and the pooping. Soon, she was pooping like every couple hours, and her asshole became exremely sensitive and the poor thing was like crying and pooping and we were laughing and she kept pooping and crying and whining and complaining about her tender, sore little asshole. At one point, she tried putting cream on it and that backfired. For some reason, I just got such a sadistic rush from her whining and crying and kept thinking about her beleaguered butthole, hahahaha.
In my own defense, I'd seen it up close before and it was a cute one. |
OK, that's now the closest I've come to being turned on by poopish stuff too, but I use that term loosely ('turned on' that is, not 'poopish'...I use that term hardly.) |
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12-10-2008, 11:52 PM
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#106
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irrumatio king
MechaBlade is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: MechaLand
Posts: 43,325
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
Invest in ginger. Real bang for your buck. Burns like fucking crazy.
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I've been dying to try figging and will definitely bring some to any Lit-togethers in your area.
__________________
Lit Profile
If it can be done, then it turns someone on. If it can't be done, then it still probably turns someone on.
"Love is God's work, not mine. I seek only to devour the flesh."
-Pirates 2
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12-10-2008, 11:52 PM
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#107
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Loves Spam
Le Jacquelope is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 76,542
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MechaBlade
Hot shit.
I'm always down for some girl anus pain.
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Would a story about adopting a kitten years back that needed a routine cotton swabbing on its butthole to keep its bowels from exploding, compete with that story?
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12-10-2008, 11:58 PM
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#108
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Huanctabulous!
naughtycakes is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: in a constant state of arousal
Posts: 16,541
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatang
OK, that's now the closest I've come to being turned on by poopish stuff too, but I use that term loosely ('turned on' that is, not 'poopish'...I use that term hardly.)
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Yes, careful, it's a slippery slope.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MechaBlade
I've been dying to try figging and will definitely bring some to any Lit-togethers in your area.
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No, that is not something I'll be repeating, hahahahaha. Once was more than enough. And I am going to be wayyy more careful about telling lovers stuff I find erotic that may be detrimental to my asshole.
But I'll be happy to do it to you if you'd like to try it
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wok
Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
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12-11-2008, 12:00 AM
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#109
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Literotica Guru
fatang is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: here, there, and everywhere
Posts: 2,524
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
Yes, careful, it's a slippery slope.
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or 'tunnel' perhaps? |
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12-11-2008, 12:26 AM
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#110
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irrumatio king
MechaBlade is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: MechaLand
Posts: 43,325
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
No, that is not something I'll be repeating, hahahahaha. Once was more than enough. And I am going to be wayyy more careful about telling lovers stuff I find erotic that may be detrimental to my asshole.
But I'll be happy to do it to you if you'd like to try it |
Dammit, I'm going to detriment your asshole one way or another.
__________________
Lit Profile
If it can be done, then it turns someone on. If it can't be done, then it still probably turns someone on.
"Love is God's work, not mine. I seek only to devour the flesh."
-Pirates 2
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12-11-2008, 12:27 AM
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#111
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Ding dong ding
Sonny Limatina is offline
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: West of Brooklyn
Posts: 22,000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MechaBlade
Dammit, I'm going to detriment your asshole one way or another.
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"To detriment."
Dig this.
__________________
894 members liked this post.
VOTED BEST SIGNATURE!
2008, 2009 (T), 2010, 2011 (strike year), 2012 (in progress)
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12-11-2008, 12:48 AM
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#112
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Dig the Enigma
happyparadox is offline
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 3,738
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
Invest in ginger. Real bang for your buck. Burns like fucking crazy.
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You betcha! They use it on show horses so the horse will carry it's tail nice and high in the show ring. |
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12-11-2008, 07:14 AM
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#113
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Huanctabulous!
naughtycakes is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: in a constant state of arousal
Posts: 16,541
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MechaBlade
Dammit, I'm going to detriment your asshole one way or another.
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I don't know, dude, my asshole might be off the menu for a good long time. Why can't you be nice to it, give it kisses and tender lovin"? Why do you have to get all detrimental on my ass?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wok
Beautiful corndog...
in your butthole
tastes so good
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12-11-2008, 07:18 AM
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#114
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I am a river to my people
bronzeage is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Deep South, USA
Posts: 44,748
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naughtycakes
I don't know, dude, my asshole might be off the menu for a good long time. Why can't you be nice to it, give it kisses and tender lovin"? Why do you have to get all detrimental on my ass?
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Kisses and tender loving is known as the before and after treatment. |
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12-11-2008, 12:31 PM
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#115
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Bite my shiny metal ass!
John Doe is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: New New York
Posts: 52,324
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__________________
Warning!:
This poster makes no warranties, express or implied, concerning the accuracy, completeness, reliability or suitability of this statement, of its constituent parts, or of any supporting data. These terms are subject to change without notice.
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12-13-2008, 12:24 PM
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#116
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Cunilingerer
kotori is offline
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Corca Dhorcha
Posts: 28,308
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bumping
until the return...
__________________
"…the secret of the Great Stories is they have no secrets. The Great Stories are the ones you have heard and want to hear again. The ones you can enter anywhere and inhabit comfortably. They don’t deceive you with thrills and trick endings. They don’t surprise you with the unforeseen. They are as familiar as the house you live in. Or the smell of your lover’s skin. You know how they end, yet you listen as though you don’t. In the way that although you know that one day you will die, you live as though you won’t. In the Great Stories you know who lives, who dies, who finds love, who doesn’t. And yet you want to know again." —Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things, (1997)
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12-13-2008, 12:32 PM
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#117
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Bite my shiny metal ass!
John Doe is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: New New York
Posts: 52,324
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Is there a better name for it? "Squatting" doesn't sound very sexy.
__________________
Warning!:
This poster makes no warranties, express or implied, concerning the accuracy, completeness, reliability or suitability of this statement, of its constituent parts, or of any supporting data. These terms are subject to change without notice.
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12-13-2008, 12:38 PM
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#118
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Cunilingerer
kotori is offline
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Corca Dhorcha
Posts: 28,308
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Doe
Is there a better name for it? "Squatting" doesn't sound very sexy.
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Maybe not "sexy", but it's got an appropriately abusive grating sound when used as a command: "Squat, bitch!"
This is more subtle:
(Thanx to tasty teaze.)
__________________
"…the secret of the Great Stories is they have no secrets. The Great Stories are the ones you have heard and want to hear again. The ones you can enter anywhere and inhabit comfortably. They don’t deceive you with thrills and trick endings. They don’t surprise you with the unforeseen. They are as familiar as the house you live in. Or the smell of your lover’s skin. You know how they end, yet you listen as though you don’t. In the way that although you know that one day you will die, you live as though you won’t. In the Great Stories you know who lives, who dies, who finds love, who doesn’t. And yet you want to know again." —Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things, (1997)
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12-13-2008, 12:49 PM
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#119
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Literotica Guru
KingOrfeo is online now
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 20,280
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Lawyer's caveat: Squatting is legally ineffectual unless you keep it up continuously for a period of years (usually seven but it varies by state).
__________________
IX. The Courtyard
It was the city I had known before;
The ancient, leprous town where mongrel throngs
Chant to strange gods, and beat unhallowed gongs
In crypts beneath foul alleys near the shore.
The rotting, fish-eyed houses leered at me
From where they leaned, drunk and half-animate,
As edging through the filth I passed the gate
To the black courtyard where the man would be.
The dark walls closed me in, and loud I cursed
That ever I had come to such a den,
When suddenly a score of windows burst
Into wild light, and swarmed with dancing men:
Mad, soundless revels of the dragging dead—
And not a corpse had either hands or head!
-- Fungi from Yuggoth, by H.P. Lovecraft
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12-13-2008, 12:59 PM
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#120
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Guest
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I thought this was about housing problems and stuff.
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12-13-2008, 01:10 PM
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#121
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If You Only Knew
AtFirstSight is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: New England
Posts: 5,467
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrulyRedBeauty
I thought this was about housing problems and stuff.
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But aren't you glad its not?
__________________
In the ill-judged execution of the well-judged plan of things the call seldom produces the comer, the man to love rarely coincides with the hour of loving. -Hardy
Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old. - Emerson
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12-13-2008, 01:22 PM
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#122
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Literotica Guru
Powertone is offline
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,609
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope
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baby...I'm in love |
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12-13-2008, 01:56 PM
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#123
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Guest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AtFirstSight
But aren't you glad its not?
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I'm bored with porn. I'd rather talk housing shortages. |
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12-13-2008, 03:18 PM
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#124
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Gods rep on Earth.
hobbit. is offline
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: England
Posts: 28,288
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrulyRedBeauty
I'm bored with porn. I'd rather talk housing shortages.
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With yanks? they caused it 
__________________
Hobbit -you're erotica leaves me breathless, it really does... _English Lady
"Hobbit.....the poor man's P_Pman." catfish.
"The Labour Party used to represent millions, now it represents millionaires" - Bob Crow RMT
There is a forgotten, nay almost forbidden word, which means more to me than any other.
That word is ENGLAND!!!!
PUTING THE ERROR INTO INTERNET tERRORism
http://www.seizetheday.org/music.cfm...D=1&trackID=11
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12-13-2008, 03:55 PM
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#125
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irrumatio king
MechaBlade is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: MechaLand
Posts: 43,325
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Doe
Is there a better name for it? "Squatting" doesn't sound very sexy.
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The hell it doesn't.
__________________
Lit Profile
If it can be done, then it turns someone on. If it can't be done, then it still probably turns someone on.
"Love is God's work, not mine. I seek only to devour the flesh."
-Pirates 2
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