Old 12-10-2008, 11:46 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by Le Jacquelope View Post
Okay I can see some people, like, NOT seeing my erotic prose, but there's no excuse for not laughing out loud at this.
thanks brotha, for tha love!
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:48 PM   #102
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Actually, you do have to. Muhahaaha.
I do?



Ok, I'll tell you a pervy shit story. This is the closest I've ever come to being turned on by anything to do with fecal matter. My best friend had to have a colonoscopy and I was staying with her at her house, visiting, and was going to take her to the procedure. She couldn't eat anything for 24 hours and had to drink these pills every couple hours to purge her system.

We rented some movies and got in her bed and just smoked a bunch of weed and chit-chatted to make her forget about the pills and the pooping. Soon, she was pooping like every couple hours, and her asshole became exremely sensitive and the poor thing was like crying and pooping and we were laughing and she kept pooping and crying and whining and complaining about her tender, sore little asshole. At one point, she tried putting cream on it and that backfired. For some reason, I just got such a sadistic rush from her whining and crying and kept thinking about her beleaguered butthole, hahahaha.

In my own defense, I'd seen it up close before and it was a cute one.
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:50 PM   #103
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I do?



Ok, I'll tell you a pervy shit story. This is the closest I've ever come to being turned on by anything to do with fecal matter. My best friend had to have a colonoscopy and I was staying with her at her house, visiting, and was going to take her to the procedure. She couldn't eat anything for 24 hours and had to drink these pills every couple hours to purge her system.

We rented some movies and got in her bed and just smoked a bunch of weed and chit-chatted to make her forget about the pills and the pooping. Soon, she was pooping like every couple hours, and her asshole became exremely sensitive and the poor thing was like crying and pooping and we were laughing and she kept pooping and crying and whining and complaining about her tender, sore little asshole. At one point, she tried putting cream on it and that backfired. For some reason, I just got such a sadistic rush from her whining and crying and kept thinking about her beleaguered butthole, hahahaha.

In my own defense, I'd seen it up close before and it was a cute one.
Hot shit.

I'm always down for some girl anus pain.
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:52 PM   #104
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Hot shit.

I'm always down for some girl anus pain.
Invest in ginger. Real bang for your buck. Burns like fucking crazy.
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:52 PM   #105
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I do?



Ok, I'll tell you a pervy shit story. This is the closest I've ever come to being turned on by anything to do with fecal matter. My best friend had to have a colonoscopy and I was staying with her at her house, visiting, and was going to take her to the procedure. She couldn't eat anything for 24 hours and had to drink these pills every couple hours to purge her system.

We rented some movies and got in her bed and just smoked a bunch of weed and chit-chatted to make her forget about the pills and the pooping. Soon, she was pooping like every couple hours, and her asshole became exremely sensitive and the poor thing was like crying and pooping and we were laughing and she kept pooping and crying and whining and complaining about her tender, sore little asshole. At one point, she tried putting cream on it and that backfired. For some reason, I just got such a sadistic rush from her whining and crying and kept thinking about her beleaguered butthole, hahahaha.

In my own defense, I'd seen it up close before and it was a cute one.
OK, that's now the closest I've come to being turned on by poopish stuff too, but I use that term loosely ('turned on' that is, not 'poopish'...I use that term hardly.)
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:52 PM   #106
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Invest in ginger. Real bang for your buck. Burns like fucking crazy.
I've been dying to try figging and will definitely bring some to any Lit-togethers in your area.
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Old 12-10-2008, 11:52 PM   #107
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Hot shit.

I'm always down for some girl anus pain.
Would a story about adopting a kitten years back that needed a routine cotton swabbing on its butthole to keep its bowels from exploding, compete with that story?

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Old 12-10-2008, 11:58 PM   #108
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OK, that's now the closest I've come to being turned on by poopish stuff too, but I use that term loosely ('turned on' that is, not 'poopish'...I use that term hardly.)
Yes, careful, it's a slippery slope.

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I've been dying to try figging and will definitely bring some to any Lit-togethers in your area.
No, that is not something I'll be repeating, hahahahaha. Once was more than enough. And I am going to be wayyy more careful about telling lovers stuff I find erotic that may be detrimental to my asshole.

But I'll be happy to do it to you if you'd like to try it
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Old 12-11-2008, 12:00 AM   #109
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Yes, careful, it's a slippery slope.
or 'tunnel' perhaps?
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Old 12-11-2008, 12:26 AM   #110
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No, that is not something I'll be repeating, hahahahaha. Once was more than enough. And I am going to be wayyy more careful about telling lovers stuff I find erotic that may be detrimental to my asshole.

But I'll be happy to do it to you if you'd like to try it
Dammit, I'm going to detriment your asshole one way or another.
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Old 12-11-2008, 12:27 AM   #111
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Dammit, I'm going to detriment your asshole one way or another.
"To detriment."

Dig this.
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Old 12-11-2008, 12:48 AM   #112
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Invest in ginger. Real bang for your buck. Burns like fucking crazy.

You betcha! They use it on show horses so the horse will carry it's tail nice and high in the show ring.
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Old 12-11-2008, 07:14 AM   #113
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Dammit, I'm going to detriment your asshole one way or another.
I don't know, dude, my asshole might be off the menu for a good long time. Why can't you be nice to it, give it kisses and tender lovin"? Why do you have to get all detrimental on my ass?
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Old 12-11-2008, 07:18 AM   #114
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I don't know, dude, my asshole might be off the menu for a good long time. Why can't you be nice to it, give it kisses and tender lovin"? Why do you have to get all detrimental on my ass?
Kisses and tender loving is known as the before and after treatment.
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Old 12-11-2008, 12:31 PM   #115
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Too much talking about poop and not enough pics.







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Old 12-13-2008, 12:24 PM   #116
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bumping



until the return...
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Old 12-13-2008, 12:32 PM   #117
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Is there a better name for it? "Squatting" doesn't sound very sexy.
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Old 12-13-2008, 12:38 PM   #118
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Is there a better name for it? "Squatting" doesn't sound very sexy.
Maybe not "sexy", but it's got an appropriately abusive grating sound when used as a command: "Squat, bitch!"

This is more subtle:



(Thanx to tasty teaze.)
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Old 12-13-2008, 12:49 PM   #119
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Lawyer's caveat: Squatting is legally ineffectual unless you keep it up continuously for a period of years (usually seven but it varies by state).
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Old 12-13-2008, 12:59 PM   #120
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I thought this was about housing problems and stuff.
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Old 12-13-2008, 01:10 PM   #121
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I thought this was about housing problems and stuff.
But aren't you glad its not?
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Old 12-13-2008, 01:22 PM   #122
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baby...I'm in love
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Old 12-13-2008, 01:56 PM   #123
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But aren't you glad its not?
I'm bored with porn. I'd rather talk housing shortages.
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Old 12-13-2008, 03:18 PM   #124
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I'm bored with porn. I'd rather talk housing shortages.
With yanks? they caused it
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Old 12-13-2008, 03:55 PM   #125
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Is there a better name for it? "Squatting" doesn't sound very sexy.
The hell it doesn't.
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