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Old 07-23-2008, 12:12 AM   #1
literal
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embarassing/funny/awkward moments during intercourse

This is not new and I'm sure everybody has atleast few.

getting farted in the face while going down on someone.
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Old 07-23-2008, 01:41 AM   #2
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I was right in midstroke when her cat calmly walked across her chest.
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Old 07-23-2008, 01:52 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leopald View Post
I was right in midstroke when her cat calmly walked across her chest.
I had something like that happen too lol.

My lady friend and I were walking home drunk and we stopped to lay down on some person's yard for a rest... anyways things got to happening with the fingers and while my hand were in her pants a couple damn cats decided it was a convenient time to try to get pet.
I like cats and all but when I'm dealing with one kind of puss, I don't want to be bothered with the other.
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Old 07-23-2008, 07:43 AM   #4
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One hot summer night my husband and I were having sex. I was riding him, rocking and moaning, really close to orgasm, when a fly flew into my mouth. I gagged and swallowed it, then started laughing hysterically. I finally regained my compuser, well, to an extent, and we finished the task at hand.

I can still remember how that fly felt going down my throat and it continues to make me laugh.
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:49 AM   #5
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This was just a one night stand nothing too serious but after a long session the night before we started again the next morning. We were interupted by a knock at the door, that happened to be a friend of mine that attends church
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Old 07-23-2008, 11:00 AM   #6
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Nuff said

I managed to get about 15 of these in a row (every thrust) until she said "Ok you're doing it deliberately aren't you".
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Old 07-23-2008, 12:50 PM   #7
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Busted by our 16 year old son while doing it doggie style on a cruise ship....he was supposed to be having breakfast...
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Old 07-23-2008, 01:20 PM   #8
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anal sex with my wife on our couch and my parents decided that was the time to "pop in" for a visit.
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Old 07-23-2008, 04:21 PM   #9
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I'll let you imagination finish it...

...but it involves moonlight, Highland Beach in Texas, surf crashing, my scrotum and at least one curious or hungry crab....
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:32 PM   #10
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oh my....so many

I seem to always be embarrassing myself in this department.
I fractured someone's nose once. But I still say it wasn't my fault. But now the fool can look at his crooked nose for the rest of his life and remember me.

Another time I was removing my clothes and putting on a bit of a show. Had to be a cheeseball and throw an article of clothing over the light fixture to create mood lighting. Of course, while we are in the act, the light catches on fire.

This time there was no fire, but the fire alarm starting going off and my roommate ran into the room to see if we were ok while my ass was in the air.

Oh and once I was riding a girl wearing a strap-on, getting really into it. Apparently too into it. We didn't understand why it felt different all of a sudden. I had ripped it right out of the harness and wasn't even riding it anymore. It wasn't really embarrassing though. just funny. Probably common, but I remember both of us cracking up. Good bonding moment.
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:21 AM   #11
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doing it on the lawn and the sprinklers started

fortunately i like it wet...
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Old 07-24-2008, 06:24 PM   #12
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Embarassing 1

Down on my knees in front of my girlfriends spread legs, with her jeans around her ankles eating out on the couch in her parents living room when dad opend the door to say "good night."
That was embarassing.
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Old 07-24-2008, 06:28 PM   #13
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Embarassing 2

Naked on top of a naked HS girlfriend, pounding her hard, in her bed, when her mother, who was supposed to be shopping, came down the hall and caught us. This was a later girlfriend.
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Old 07-24-2008, 06:42 PM   #14
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A one night stand. She was lovely. I was shy. She was lovely. I got drunk (a little). We went back to mine. Eventually I managed to undo her bra clip.

So proud was I that in my inebriated state I had managed to achieve this feat -and still retain an erection and slip inside her - that I promptly fell asleep, exhausted.

She was so cute. I'm sure she had no problems forgetting this traumatic experience, but hey, if you're out there reading this just let me tell you I still smile and sigh at the thought of you.... And thank you for being kind in the morning!
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Old 07-26-2008, 07:57 PM   #15
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On a few occasions, I have started laughing during intercourse because it seems so ridiculous -- the squeaking sounds, the thrusting, the humping, the moaning. Sometimes it's just too funny.
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Old 07-26-2008, 08:07 PM   #16
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O lord!
Well lets see...
My mother busted me twice, both times same boyfriend, both times i was under 18...
I have certainly queefed more times than i can count and of course a fart has slipped past as well...NEVER when someone's face was between my legs...But certainly while in the act of intercourse...

There is one story that will always bring a smile to my face tho as one of the funniest moments in my personal sexual history...
A good friend of mine and i were bed buddies for a time. We were more like best guy friends than anything really. We called each other "dude" and what not.
So one night we were gong at it, hot and heavy...
I was sucking his dick and he was apparently getting very into it...
He rolled his eyes back in his head and moaned..."dude, that feels SOO good!"
I abruptly STOPPED all cock sucking and just looked at him. I said did you just fucking call me dude??
Look, you can call me dude at an other time in our lives but PLEASE DO NOT call me dude when i have your dick in my mouth!!
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Old 07-27-2008, 01:06 AM   #17
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My now ex-girlfriend and I were in her room on the floor in doggy style when her 16 year old brother walked in on us... yeah we were both stark naked. Thankfully it was somewhat dark and I don't think he really saw anything. "Deer in the headlights" doesn't even do it justice...
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:27 PM   #18
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Having the kids walk in and ask "what are you doing."
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Old 10-09-2008, 06:00 PM   #19
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Oh man, I'm afraid if I start on this topic I might not stop.

Let's see:

Once, while going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of a boyfriend's car, he managed to pull some sort of hip swivel that had me kick out my leg, WITH the high heel still on, and I busted out his rear window. Lesson learned from this experience: don't put two 6 foot plus people in the back seat of a car and expect to have legs fit.

One boyfriend thought it would be greatly romantic to buy some fantastic satin sheets (which were gorgeous) and then proceed to throw me on to the bed where I promptly slid off the side and whacked my head on the night stand. Lesson learned here: No more satin sheets and smooth skin.

I've been caught a few times buck naked in a park, unfortunately it was the SAME park, and the SAME police officer, and I was underage every time. Dammit. The only thing worse was having the father of one of the guys ask us "So, did you two have fun tonight because I heard your names come across the police scanner." Doy. Lesson learned: no more nakedness in the park.

I have so many more, but that's enough for now.

Last edited by Wings27 : 10-09-2008 at 06:15 PM.
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Old 10-09-2008, 06:53 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wings27 View Post
Oh man, I'm afraid if I start on this topic I might not stop.

Let's see:

Once, while going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of a boyfriend's car, he managed to pull some sort of hip swivel that had me kick out my leg, WITH the high heel still on, and I busted out his rear window. Lesson learned from this experience: don't put two 6 foot plus people in the back seat of a car and expect to have legs fit.

One boyfriend thought it would be greatly romantic to buy some fantastic satin sheets (which were gorgeous) and then proceed to throw me on to the bed where I promptly slid off the side and whacked my head on the night stand. Lesson learned here: No more satin sheets and smooth skin.

I've been caught a few times buck naked in a park, unfortunately it was the SAME park, and the SAME police officer, and I was underage every time. Dammit. The only thing worse was having the father of one of the guys ask us "So, did you two have fun tonight because I heard your names come across the police scanner." Doy. Lesson learned: no more nakedness in the park.

I have so many more, but that's enough for now.
Great stuff. Do tell more.
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Old 10-09-2008, 07:05 PM   #21
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Fresh meat!! You are a bad influence on me.
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Old 10-09-2008, 07:12 PM   #22
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Ok, per Fresh Meat's request:

We were once in the lake, my legs wrapped around him when a HUGE (HUGE I SAY) fish bumped in to me. I freaked out and went splashing back to shore as quickly as possible. It wasn't until I heard the hysterical laughter that I turned around and he shouted "that was my HAND you twit". Yeah well, he didn't get any that night after that, NOW who's the twit?

On the back of my 4wheeler, half naked, going at it and we started hearing this very loud crashing noise through the brush. We both froze, looked at each other, looked towards the sound and sure enough, big ass bear came barrelling out. Thankfully she was not interested in us, she was on her way somewhere else, but dammit. After she left we scrambled to get dressed and hightailed it out of there!
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Old 10-09-2008, 07:51 PM   #23
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Two Stories....

Once with my wife classic missionary postion, the dog goosed me with his wet nose.

Second story - once while cooking things got a bit frisky in the kitchen - I had been working with jalepno's that afternoon and things down below got rather...um...warm. Course to combat that, we got out the sour cream...
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Old 10-09-2008, 09:26 PM   #24
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Its gotta be fanny farts without a doubt

TRMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

(to my friendly American allies with a special relationship with the uk, Fanny in uk is twat, pussy etc)
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Shazz about to get her hands in her pants

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Old 10-09-2008, 10:41 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wings27 View Post
Oh man, I'm afraid if I start on this topic I might not stop.

Let's see:

Once, while going at it hot and heavy in the backseat of a boyfriend's car, he managed to pull some sort of hip swivel that had me kick out my leg, WITH the high heel still on, and I busted out his rear window. Lesson learned from this experience: don't put two 6 foot plus people in the back seat of a car and expect to have legs fit.

One boyfriend thought it would be greatly romantic to buy some fantastic satin sheets (which were gorgeous) and then proceed to throw me on to the bed where I promptly slid off the side and whacked my head on the night stand. Lesson learned here: No more satin sheets and smooth skin.

I've been caught a few times buck naked in a park, unfortunately it was the SAME park, and the SAME police officer, and I was underage every time. Dammit. The only thing worse was having the father of one of the guys ask us "So, did you two have fun tonight because I heard your names come across the police scanner." Doy. Lesson learned: no more nakedness in the park.

I have so many more, but that's enough for now.
Feel the sudden urge to go to a park with Wings...
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