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Old 03-10-2006, 07:03 PM   #76
amBIguous
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Oh let me count the ways

1. I was about 15, laying on the couch in our living room watching a raunchy movie and masturbating. Our next door neighbor poked her head in the front door (stupidly left unlocked) looking for my Mom.
2. 18 and going down on a casual gf in my new apartment. Was so tired from working that I fell asleep for about 10 minutes. She was great about it and just let me continue on once I woke up.
3. Farted on my wife while she was playing with my ass with a dildo.
4. Another time with my wife when we broke the bed - the whole thing ended up slamming to the floor because we broke the frame. Luckily we didn't wake the kids.

Can't wait to see what the next one will be...keeps life interesting.

LOL
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Old 03-10-2006, 11:46 PM   #77
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The most embarrassing thing I ever did during sex was, while trying to talk-romantic to my wife, I "mixed my metaphors". I wanted to say that she was my goddess with smooth, porcelain skin... it came out "you are my porcelain goddess".

She stared at me for a moment, then started laughing until she cried (she was delighted)... I went and sat near the fireplace, mortified. (delicate, young-husband ego)
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Old 03-11-2006, 02:59 PM   #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artisticbiguy
The most embarrassing thing I ever did during sex was, while trying to talk-romantic to my wife, I "mixed my metaphors". I wanted to say that she was my goddess with smooth, porcelain skin... it came out "you are my porcelain goddess".

She stared at me for a moment, then started laughing until she cried (she was delighted)... I went and sat near the fireplace, mortified. (delicate, young-husband ego)
Oh my god, darling, you have just given me the best laugh I have had all day,
as my daughter would say, "oh the tears, they come out!"
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Old 03-11-2006, 03:35 PM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by playwithlezli
Oh my god, darling, you have just given me the best laugh I have had all day,
as my daughter would say, "oh the tears, they come out!"
**Bowing Deeply**

I have learned that if I can't be sexy and provocative, laughable works fairly well.
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Old 03-11-2006, 05:23 PM   #80
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artisticbiguy
**Bowing Deeply**

I have learned that if I can't be sexy and provocative, laughable works fairly well.

too true, and has always worked for me as well!
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Old 03-12-2006, 07:18 AM   #81
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Thumbs down

This probably beats anything anyone has said so far.

I was having sex with my bf and I was on top. I had a UTI at the time, so this was probably a bad idea to begin with. We were going at it quite vigorously and I sneezed. I had no idea that sneezing mid-fuck was a bad thing to do. But it was. My bladder gave way. Not a lot, but enough to form a nice puddle on his stomach. I was MORTIFIED!!! But yea, if you have to sneeze during sex, a little pause is a small price to pay.

I also had messy anal sex once - it really put me off for a while.
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Old 03-12-2006, 10:57 PM   #82
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When my love and i first me, we went at it constantly. 18 hours minimum in a 24 hour period (which usually gave just enough time for class during the week for me or sleep on the weekend while he wasnt working) so basically we went till we passed out, or were starving. Showers, were sex as well... anyway. One night, after we had been at it for hours i went down on him to suck him off. So i suck for a bit and fall asleep! Well, it was only a few seconds so i kept going once i woke up and fell asleep shortly after again. This went on for a minute or so and then i just plum fell asleep with his cock hanging out of my mouth like a cigar.

He was so great about it, wanted a picture, but he sat there and stared until i woke up, like nothing happened or that he had finished and laid next to him and slept.

hearing about it was sooo embarrising! now we laugh but it still turns me red.

An embarissing moment for the two of us, mostly him, was we were in the middle of having great sex and he pulls out to tit fuck me (for many reasons he doesnt get to cum in me yet, primarially b/c i dont want kids yet and my little brother and i were birthcontrol babies). So he puts one hand on the wall over my head and starts going at it. Oh i loved it! I look up at him just in time to see him slam his head into the wall at full force with enough reprocushion to send him flying back off the foot of the bed grabbing his head cursing and claiming that the wall came out of no where. I was mortified that he fucked himself up good but couldnt help but laugh. I love him dearly but it was just too funny to be completely serious about.
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Old 03-12-2006, 11:26 PM   #83
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ma Petite
I look up at him just in time to see him slam his head into the wall at full force with enough reprocushion to send him flying back off the foot of the bed grabbing his head cursing and claiming that the wall came out of no where. I was mortified that he fucked himself up good but couldnt help but laugh. I love him dearly but it was just too funny to be completely serious about.

Yeah me and Ma Petite have lots of embarasing moments expecialy sence when i cum really good i have extrem muscule spasms, and she has odd reactions to perscripion drugs.
She tryed to use the birth control ring but it turned her so acidic i had to imediatly pull out because i thought it was going to desolve my cock.

And she got put on anti-depresents once, it had many odd side efects including making her extreemly orgasmic. One day she started having orgasms after a little wile and just kept cumming and cumming after we finished she contiued to have one orgasm after another. She eventualy stopped but i could not touch her for the rest of the afternoon or she would start again.
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Old 03-12-2006, 11:51 PM   #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kind der Nacht

And she got put on anti-depresents once, it had many odd side efects including making her extreemly orgasmic. One day she started having orgasms after a little wile and just kept cumming and cumming after we finished she contiued to have one orgasm after another. She eventualy stopped but i could not touch her for the rest of the afternoon or she would start again.

I wrote something like that into a slash fiction, where a character, if brought to orgasm a certain way, would just continue having it until the stimulation stopped... it scared him shitless to have anyone find out because he was totally helpless while it was going on and could become painful and even torturous if it lasted too long... which is why he had a hard time trusting anyone enough to let it happen. It was also a sign of his total commitment and love for someone when he finally let his lover know.
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Old 03-13-2006, 02:39 AM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ma Petite

An embarissing moment for the two of us, mostly him, was we were in the middle of having great sex and he pulls out to tit fuck me (for many reasons he doesnt get to cum in me yet, primarially b/c i dont want kids yet and my little brother and i were birthcontrol babies). So he puts one hand on the wall over my head and starts going at it. Oh i loved it! I look up at him just in time to see him slam his head into the wall at full force with enough reprocushion to send him flying back off the foot of the bed grabbing his head cursing and claiming that the wall came out of no where. I was mortified that he fucked himself up good but couldnt help but laugh. I love him dearly but it was just too funny to be completely serious about.
Enormous coffee-spew!! (thank goodness i did not slam my head into my PC reading this. It is so funny - thanks for making me laugh
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Old 03-13-2006, 02:53 AM   #86
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Most embarrassing thing i've done during sex... Hmmnn now let's see...

I was expecting a very important phone call which just didn't happen. Unable to wait any longer, she continued her exploration and when my phone eventually rang I knew i had to answer, but I was in a dream-like state - not in any condition to actually talk. I tried very hard, but she laughed so much -which made me laugh, and in turn had my business colleague on the other side of the world hysterical because of our laughing - him unaware of my... let's say... position.

Then there was the time i half-drowned in a glass of wine... It turned out to be a near death experience...

Oh, and turning on the TV or hi-fi via remote under my body has happened at least four times during couch sex

I am sure there are more but this is what comes to mind. Other than trying to deal with hiding that freshly- fucked look at many occasions.
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Old 03-16-2006, 05:58 PM   #87
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unfortunately, I feel asleep once while recieving oral pleasure, she was not too happy..............snored even......
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Old 03-16-2006, 11:18 PM   #88
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Most embarissing thing I have done durin sex? Well I fell asleep and in hind sight it is really funny.

I had worked a very long day, up at 4am and at work by 5 and probably didnt get out of work till almost 6pm. Had dinner and watched a movie and was in bed with my girlfriend at the time aroun 1130. She was really in the mood so I went along with it even though I was exhausted and we started having sex first with me on top then she got on top and rode me. I fell asleep and I tend to say random things when I first fall asleep, this time it was "If worse comes to worse bust them in the knee caps."(random I know) and my girlfriend confused asks "What?" and I say again, "If worse comes to worse bust them in the knee caps." She was even more confused and asks again "WHAT?!?!" and I respond, "Nevermind, I'll do it." This is the story she told me when she woke me up, embarrissing at the time but now is kind of a funny story.
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Old 03-20-2006, 05:27 AM   #89
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LMAO Socal22, your thing sounds like something I would do but the words of KindderNacht. We both nearly pissed ourselves reading that.

One day after KindderNacht and i had first met, I feel asleep from another full weekend or something like that of OMG sex. WEll, I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation. Not so bad as we were done having sex but I continued our conversation in my sleep.
Ok, this wasnt me talking in my sleep and keeping the conversation going, this waas me saying what i was dreaming out loud and getting pissed off in my dream for saying stupid shit that didnt make sense!!! (in the dream that is). How stupid was it in the dream to continue a conversation about how wonderful he was and what i needed to do in reguards to class the next day? Well, really stupid when out loud to him i yell at him to get the damned NAKED models out of the room!

Apparently I was pissed off he was confused but found it hillarious once he realized what was going on. He still makes fun of me for it after 2 years.

STORY # 4 or somthing like that:

Its not really embarrasing as it is hillarious!!!

One day KindderNacht and I were at a movie theatre and well, I didnt watch the movie for long and he probably didnt actually pay attention to much more then i did. He had just finished downign a two liter of Livewire mountain dew before i started sucking him off. Ok, you have to know i dislike the taste of any mountain dew product. its just ick! ANd well, livewire isnt any better, and i also dont care for the taste of cum. Personal reasons.
Well, I suck him off, a feat in and of itself, and I'll be damed! I was so shocked to have this delicious orange soda (not nasty overly caffinated livewire orange normal orange soda) tasting hot liquid power wash its way into my mouth.! It was quite delicious and i actually swallowed the whole thing, sat up and go "it tastes like orange!" in the theatre!
Thankfully i dont think it was that loud but it was delicious and interesting!

Had to post it as i saw a thead about first time a guy ejaculated into your mouth and it made me think of it. hehe! God, so many more stories... I think KindderNacht and i could start a section just on us!

that's really sad
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Old 05-06-2006, 03:35 PM   #90
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.......bump.......
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Old 11-20-2006, 05:36 PM   #91
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Glad she has a sense of humour.

When first exploring the pain/pleasure connection, I tried using clothespins on my lover's nipples. When she had had enough, I thought it would be a great idea to string out the removal by using my mouth. It is really hard to hold a closepin open with your mouth and carefully remove it from an engorged, tender nipple.

In fact, it is so difficult that instead of slipping cleanly away, it snapped back into place but at the narrowest conjunction, not the wider portion where we had tried it first.

For whatever reason, once she got over the shock of the pain rush, she thought this was hilarious, thank the goddess.

(PS-We bought a different style of clothespin last weekend, but only after I promised to only use my hands.)
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Old 11-20-2006, 07:21 PM   #92
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In the Ladies room

Shortly after I decided to be the real me I met, partied and after some coaxing followed a my choice of lust into the ladies restroom. We were having a very exciting time with her on the toilet and me on my knees when suddenly the door was opened and the young woman I was doing let out a gasp. I didn't know who was standing there but I knew I had to jump up and leave or at least make some kind of excuse but as I tried to pull my mouth away from that delectable treasure my new lover thrust herself up against my face while trying to get up from the toilet seat and her pubic hair became entangled in the dental braces I had gotten just the day before. My lover started screaming and grabbed my head which must have appeared to several women who had appeared that she was in the throes of an orgasm. I started to panic, I couldn't get loose. People started arriving and before long there was a crowd. Finally someone arrived with a pair of sissors and after my young lover calmed down I managed to extricate myself. I know a lot of people standing outside, who didnt know what was going on, must have wondered about the young woman with a large mustace who came rushing past from the ladies room.
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Old 11-20-2006, 07:28 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaFemmeNicole
Shortly after I decided to be the real me I met, partied and after some coaxing followed a my choice of lust into the ladies restroom. We were having a very exciting time with her on the toilet and me on my knees when suddenly the door was opened and the young woman I was doing let out a gasp. I didn't know who was standing there but I knew I had to jump up and leave or at least make some kind of excuse but as I tried to pull my mouth away from that delectable treasure my new lover thrust herself up against my face while trying to get up from the toilet seat and her pubic hair became entangled in the dental braces I had gotten just the day before. My lover started screaming and grabbed my head which must have appeared to several women who had appeared that she was in the throes of an orgasm. I started to panic, I couldn't get loose. People started arriving and before long there was a crowd. Finally someone arrived with a pair of sissors and after my young lover calmed down I managed to extricate myself. I know a lot of people standing outside, who didnt know what was going on, must have wondered about the young woman with a large mustace who came rushing past from the ladies room.

oh my fucking god-no way! too too funny......
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Old 11-20-2006, 08:15 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaFemmeNicole
Shortly after I decided to be the real me I met, partied and after some coaxing followed a my choice of lust into the ladies restroom. We were having a very exciting time with her on the toilet and me on my knees when suddenly the door was opened and the young woman I was doing let out a gasp. I didn't know who was standing there but I knew I had to jump up and leave or at least make some kind of excuse but as I tried to pull my mouth away from that delectable treasure my new lover thrust herself up against my face while trying to get up from the toilet seat and her pubic hair became entangled in the dental braces I had gotten just the day before. My lover started screaming and grabbed my head which must have appeared to several women who had appeared that she was in the throes of an orgasm. I started to panic, I couldn't get loose. People started arriving and before long there was a crowd. Finally someone arrived with a pair of sissors and after my young lover calmed down I managed to extricate myself. I know a lot of people standing outside, who didnt know what was going on, must have wondered about the young woman with a large mustace who came rushing past from the ladies room.

ROFLMOA
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Old 11-21-2006, 03:07 AM   #95
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That is the funniest thing that I have heard in a long long time.

The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me during sex, was when I called my girlfriend David. I had david on my mind, and Charlotte on my dick, and somehow, it just all went wrong.
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Old 03-13-2009, 12:57 PM   #96
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Red face Any new stories

bump

somebody must have done something funny in the last two years!
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Old 03-13-2009, 01:34 PM   #97
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Going soft while fucking was pretty embarrassing. It was made worse because she was drunk (my ex) and started bawling and saying "You think I'm ugly!! I can't even get you hard!"

Ummm cumming after about 20 seconds the first time I fucked without a condom was pretty awful too.
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Old 03-13-2009, 01:53 PM   #98
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Originally Posted by Kind der Nacht View Post
Yeah me and Ma Petite have lots of embarasing moments expecialy sence when i cum really good i have extrem muscule spasms, and she has odd reactions to perscripion drugs.
She tryed to use the birth control ring but it turned her so acidic i had to imediatly pull out because i thought it was going to desolve my cock.

And she got put on anti-depresents once, it had many odd side efects including making her extreemly orgasmic. One day she started having orgasms after a little wile and just kept cumming and cumming after we finished she contiued to have one orgasm after another. She eventualy stopped but i could not touch her for the rest of the afternoon or she would start again.
My gf was on anti-depressants and had really earth-shattering orgasms, too. Not like that, but she would cum so hard that she'd shake for minutes and couldn't talk for at least 10 mins after. It was pretty damn hot.

Then she switched to a different one (for various reasons) and it made her pussy to tight that it was hard to fuck. She also wouldn't get wet...so that had to go, of course.
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Old 03-13-2009, 04:25 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by undermythumb1 View Post
Going soft while fucking was pretty embarrassing. It was made worse because she was drunk (my ex) and started bawling and saying "You think I'm ugly!! I can't even get you hard!"

Ummm cumming after about 20 seconds the first time I fucked without a condom was pretty awful too.
lol I like the second one, I had that happen just two days ago. Wasn't condomless sex, but I was just getting into it when he slipped out of me and couldn't get hard again. Damn that sucks....


Uh I haven't really had anything embarassing happen yet, but just because I said that, something will happen soon. KARMA
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Old 03-14-2009, 12:30 PM   #100
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one time i was getting head and right as i started cumming, my whole body tensed up and a little fart squeaked out. she was so surprised she almost choked on my jizz
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