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Old 06-30-2002, 09:22 AM   #26
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You know I did not take is as I had a bad Dom/me that did not take care of me afterward. He always has.

There is something in me about how I process the endorphins... I get the same thing drop from other things in my life... It may have to do with my personality.

That drop happens to me almost every time we play hard... and I will emphasize the playing hard... He can hold me, soothe me, sleep beside me all night and that won't make any difference... I will still hit a wall within 24 hours...
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Old 06-30-2002, 03:02 PM   #27
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I get that "cold" reaction after piercings or even having blood drawn. I used to volunteer for the Red Cross and told people "oh, it's nothing!" if they were scared of needles...little did they know I can't have blood drawn without nearly passing out! (It doesn't help that I have small veins, and I can't actually donate blood because of their policies against gay men donating.) But even when a friend pierced my ears (with a needle) I started seeing double, and even in the MALL I had to sit down for a while! When my top tried to pierce my nipples one evening I just about lost it and had a panic attack...I didn't let it happen (which is unusual for me...normally I'll go along with whatever's asked of me).
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Old 06-30-2002, 03:08 PM   #28
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foxy, willow...
You know what?
Regarding every single word that i write here, every single word that i read from any of you, there's always an editor in the back of my mind who scans the words, the meanings behind the words for clarity of thoughts.

You see, i never really relax here.
I'm always aware, every post on every thread, that there's a gazillion people out there reading what we so casually discuss and taking meaning for thier lives from our words.

If we offer conflicting or untrue info - even if we offer confusing info - we might do harm to some of those silent ones, those who don't feel the need or feel comfortable enough to join in with us.

We have an obligation, therefore, to be very clear in our discussions. No! No no no no no - i have an obligation to insure our discussions are clear and as factually correct as i can make them. When R is around, she helps, but she's not able to be here right now - so it's all on me.


That was the reason i did the growling clarification of the sub-drop and aftercare issue, guys. I simply wanted it to be totally clear to everyone seeing the words that that they're not necessarily entwined, those two things.

I already knew that you two knew the difference, that the thread was simply wandering around a bit as our threads do when we're discussing stuff. This felt important enough to me, though, that i needed to make a big point of the non-relatedness of sub-drop and the quality of aftercare provided by our dominant partners.

Forgive me, please, i f i made either of you - or anyone else feel bad. I am sorry.

b.
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Old 11-12-2004, 04:41 PM   #29
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bump...
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Old 07-20-2005, 08:45 PM   #30
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This thread needs a bump.

Bumping this thread as Sub Drop, or just plain Dropping is important for people to know about.

I know that from hearing of a friend of mine who experienced an intense session with two men. She had wanted it, and the three of them arranged it and had a good time. It was not in any way a D/s event.

A few days later, one of the men involved mentioned to me that "she" the woman they had played with was all depressed.

I asked him for the details of what they all did, and for the details of what they all did to "recover", to come down from the play. It was rather intense, but nothing out of line.

They all had had time constraints, and they separated and went their seperate ways almost immediately.

After hearing the tale, the first thought I had was "she dropped". It may not have been a scene in a D/s sense, but it was intense play, and the endorphins do flow.

I told him that, and I then had to explain it to him, and that it could happen after any intense play.

I offered to contact her, and let her know what I think was happening.

It turns out, she almost immediately responded to my message to her with, "Yes!!! That is it. That is how I feel."

I explained things to her as well as I could. When and how I experienced it, and how aftercare from my Sir was so important.

She says I helped. I also suggested she make sure any other people she plays with, is aware that can happen, what they can do to make things better.
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Old 07-20-2005, 09:42 PM   #31
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WOW! Thanks Kayte for the bump... I hadn't realized that this was a normal thing to happen in play. I thought I was just acting like a fruitcake afterwards because of my own history with chronic depression. Now I have someothing I can take to my D and say... hey! look what I discovered.

*think think think*
Well now that is something to consider.

Thank you.
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Old 07-20-2005, 10:09 PM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Private_Label
WOW! Thanks Kayte for the bump... I hadn't realized that this was a normal thing to happen in play. I thought I was just acting like a fruitcake afterwards because of my own history with chronic depression. Now I have someothing I can take to my D and say... hey! look what I discovered.

*think think think*
Well now that is something to consider.

Thank you.

You are most welcome Private_Label ~ I am glad I was able to help!

There is lots of very valuable information on this site. I hope you are finding all you need. If you have any questions please ask. Either on a thread or feel free to PM me.
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Old 07-20-2005, 10:31 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayte
You are most welcome Private_Label ~ I am glad I was able to help!

There is lots of very valuable information on this site. I hope you are finding all you need. If you have any questions please ask. Either on a thread or feel free to PM me.
Yep and I am also talking to a lot of people, like you, who have offered me constructive discussion. Now that I know this will happen and it is somethig to expect rather than have it be something to get *more anxious* about I can tell myself that it will be OK and not to get twisted the wrong way because it.
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Old 07-26-2005, 07:54 PM   #34
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Good evening everyone. Just a friendly Bump!!
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Old 01-13-2006, 08:09 PM   #35
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Is that what it was?

Last weekend I took my first baby steps to explore my submissive streak.

It was great, everything I expected it to be and more: amazing, liberating, well ... you get my drift.
But when I got home again I was feeling lousy and next day depression hit me out of the blue. It scared me because I have had serious depressions in the past. I thought it was because of the anticipation building up so much. Now I'm having second thoughts.

Can baby steps cause a "sub drop"?

My partner is new to this too, so he probably doesn't know about this either. Although I did tell him I was feeling down.

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Old 01-13-2006, 08:19 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Tulip
Last weekend I took my first baby steps to explore my submissive streak.

It was great, everything I expected it to be and more: amazing, liberating, well ... you get my drift.
But when I got home again I was feeling lousy and next day depression hit me out of the blue. It scared me because I have had serious depressions in the past. I thought it was because of the anticipation building up so much. Now I'm having second thoughts.

Can baby steps cause a "sub drop"?

My partner is new to this too, so he probably doesn't know about this either. Although I did tell him I was feeling down.


Yes Black Tulip ~ I am sure that is what it was. Any intense activity that calls the endorpins out, that make you feel so good can do that. Be it sex, running, swimming all kinds of things.

Your body just responded to the lack of endorphins as they left your body. I think knowing that is what it is helps people to realize what is happening.

I know when I am with my Sir I can feel the drop while with Him after an intense scene. He holds and helps me recenter myself. But those feelings do come back after we have separated, such as the next day.

Please remember you are ok, and think about how much fun it was. And how good it will be as you continue your journey. And please remember that is what it is. It isn't a race.

If you have any questions you don't want to put here, please feel free to PM me. But then sharing things on this thread allows it to help others.
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Old 01-14-2006, 07:31 AM   #37
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Thank you, kaite, for taking the time to respond to a newbie.
I agree with you that it can be helpful to others to voice questions on the board.
See my sig. LOL
I'm new to this part of Lit but have been around the writers section for some time now.

After posting my question last night, I went to bed thinking it over. In retrospect I think my Dom had the same problem. He was withdrawn and very, very tired for at least three days after our little expedition.

I gave him the link to the BDSM Library here, but perhaps there are other resources for him to get in touch with others? I know he wants to learn about being a Dom. He told me so; no guesssing. LOL

Ok, so this is getting a bit off topic, but a pointer for him would be very helpful.

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Old 01-15-2006, 01:54 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Tulip
Thank you, kaite, for taking the time to respond to a newbie.
I agree with you that it can be helpful to others to voice questions on the board.
See my sig. LOL
I'm new to this part of Lit but have been around the writers section for some time now.

After posting my question last night, I went to bed thinking it over. In retrospect I think my Dom had the same problem. He was withdrawn and very, very tired for at least three days after our little expedition.

I gave him the link to the BDSM Library here, but perhaps there are other resources for him to get in touch with others? I know he wants to learn about being a Dom. He told me so; no guesssing. LOL

Ok, so this is getting a bit off topic, but a pointer for him would be very helpful.


Hi Black Tulip ~ I am glad you shared that link with him. There are links up there that can provide more information. If I recall castlerealm.com was a good one a long time ago when I first started wanting to learn. Not sure if I spelled it right though.

I believe all of us are always wanting to learn. I know my Sir says He is always doing that. I know I am too.

Hope you are having a good weekend.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Old 01-21-2006, 12:47 AM   #39
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Just a gentle bump.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Old 01-21-2006, 05:00 AM   #40
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Having suffered from chronic depression, which occasionally crescendoed in what others have called 'panic attacks.' I've always categorized this as just more depression.

I had come to think of it as a type of sub-space actually (the bad kind, in short)

Thanks for bumping this thread kayte.

I almost wish I'd known more about this a year ago, but that scenario doesn't quite or entirely fit what you're talking about, so I doubt it would have helped much.
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Old 01-21-2006, 05:07 AM   #41
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Thanks for bumping Kayte. Not something I've had experiance with, yet, but now I won't think I broke my sub beyond repair if something like this happens.
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Old 01-23-2006, 05:34 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stag of Oberon
Having suffered from chronic depression, which occasionally crescendoed in what others have called 'panic attacks.' I've always categorized this as just more depression.

I had come to think of it as a type of sub-space actually (the bad kind, in short)

Thanks for bumping this thread kayte.

I almost wish I'd known more about this a year ago, but that scenario doesn't quite or entirely fit what you're talking about, so I doubt it would have helped much.
Good afternoon Stag of Oberon ~ I am not a medical specialist, I do know from my Gram's symptoms and treatment that depression is in many cases caused by a chemical imbalance or change.

Sub drop is the body's reaction to the easing of the endorphins that were released, and when the "good feelings" decrease the body feels "sad". Thus a chemical change. I know in my case and in the case of many I have talked to, either here, on the phone, even in person; the knowing what can be causing that helps so much.

Perhaps it doesn't fit the scenario earlier, but it may help sometime in the future.

Have a fantastic afternoon/evening.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Old 01-23-2006, 05:35 PM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vixandra
Thanks for bumping Kayte. Not something I've had experiance with, yet, but now I won't think I broke my sub beyond repair if something like this happens.
Good afternoon Vixandra ~ I am sure you won't ever do that. An extra bit of after care can ease all of those "nasty" feelings.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Last edited by kayte : 01-24-2006 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 01-24-2006, 03:47 PM   #44
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A bump
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Old 01-25-2006, 04:16 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayte
Perhaps it doesn't fit the scenario earlier, but it may help sometime in the future.
At the very least I will know to keep this in mind when I'm on top.

Actually, I've gotten pretty good at separating myself from my emotions enough to recognize them rather than define myself by them. (ie; Saying to myself in the midst of depression; 'I'm not worthless, just dissappointed'). Knowing about this should help in that case as well.
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Old 01-30-2006, 06:41 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stag of Oberon
At the very least I will know to keep this in mind when I'm on top.

Actually, I've gotten pretty good at separating myself from my emotions enough to recognize them rather than define myself by them. (ie; Saying to myself in the midst of depression; 'I'm not worthless, just dissappointed'). Knowing about this should help in that case as well.

Good afternoon Stag of Oberon ~ I hope your weekend was a good one.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Old 01-31-2006, 08:01 PM   #47
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Figured a gentle bump is due.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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Old 11-12-2006, 06:01 PM   #48
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Sure seems like another bump is due for this topic.
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

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A link to her memorial
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:51 PM   #49
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A holiday bump
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Now I lay me down to sleep...one less terrorist this world does keep...
with all my heart I give my thanks...to those in uniform regardless of rank ...
you serve our country and serve it well...with humble hearts your stories tell...
so as I rest my weary eyes...while freedom rings our flag still flies...
you give your all, do what you must...with God we live and IN God we trust....Amen.

R.I.P. WildRose70 Momma
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Old 12-24-2006, 03:12 AM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayte
A holiday bump
I know that rose went though a hellacious sub drop after I left to come back here.... It was like a strong depressive episode...

I went though some Top Drop as well...

Plus we hate being apart....
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