PM asshattery

wow--why does no one understand that by chocolate, I mean actual chocolate?

Easter asshat said:
daddy
Turns daddy on to give you lots of big thick chocolate cocks to play with

*shaking head* I don't even have a witty comment for this one. I hope he trips, and stubs his penis.
 
A converstaion I'm having right now on another site:

Her:If u are real get back asap!

Me:Of course I'm real.

Her:Lets see what u look like

Me:Nope, sorry. the pic on my profile is all you get.

Her:So u are fake? You can see me, so what are you hiding cunt?

Me:I'm not fake, I'm just not going to send you any pictures of me.

Her:Where are u located?

Her, not more than a minute later:This would be the best situation for you

I shall post updates as they occur.
 
First post from random person:

i want to bury my face in your pussy, feel you squeeze my head with your thighs, wrap your legs around my head and pull my tongue deeper into you. have you get up on all fours and eat your peach from behind, working my way up to your pretty puckered asshole, making love to your ass with my tongue. i will get on my back under you and pull you down onto my mouth, you will sit up on my face and i will work my magic on your pussy, letting your wetness fall into my mouth until you can no longer stand it. you will beg me to stop but i wont until you fall over totally spent from orgasms.


My Reply:

But oh no! Your "magic" on my pussy has caused a dragon to appear in the corner of the room and we have to fight it! I throw you a sword to use but you fumble, failing to catch it, and end up stabbing your own face.

^^^^
This made me laugh out loud and almost spit coffee onto my keyboard.
Great thread. No asshattery to contribute - my PMs have all been tame and polite in comparison.
*clicks subscribe to thread*
Some of the other "come-backs" are great as well. The creative difference is amazing when you have some time to ponder a retort to the Asshat PM, unlike real life, where there is sometimes only a moment or two to react to asshattery, then the opportunity is gone. You always think of a brilliant comeback after the moment has passed.
 
Aurantica-

I assume after he called you a cunt you sent her (?) that pic, riiiight? The question mark is there because that seems like an odd thing for a girl to say to another.

The worst PM ever...

Hey,

It's me, Nipplemuncher.

Sends shivers down my spine.
 
I'm going to have to block out an afternoon to read this entire thread. :D
 
I received one today...It wasn't so much the PM that was bad, wel.. it was but the Avatar was the real doozie. A hairy man's arsehole. RIGHT IN MY EYES.

Some things you just can't unsee.
eek3.gif

LMAO!
 
I received one today...It wasn't so much the PM that was bad, wel.. it was but the Avatar was the real doozie. A hairy man's arsehole. RIGHT IN MY EYES.

Some things you just can't unsee.
eek3.gif

They say the browneye is the window to the soul. That's what they say.
 
Wait, maybe that's the window to the colon. Yeah. That's it.

Just tell him you love his colon. What a weird thing to tell someone.
 
I received one today...It wasn't so much the PM that was bad, wel.. it was but the Avatar was the real doozie. A hairy man's arsehole. RIGHT IN MY EYES.

Some things you just can't unsee.
eek3.gif
You poor woman. He stared at you with his big brown eye. There is never a sharp stick around when you need one.

*waves* You seem to be from my neck of Penn's woods. ;)

Wait, maybe that's the window to the colon. Yeah. That's it.

Just tell him you love his colon. What a weird thing to tell someone.
He needs to pull the curtain on that window.
 
Oh, maybe he has a nice colon. And maybe he loves his colon. And maybe someone loves his colon back. Come on. Give the guy a break.
 
I'm okay with colons. Rarely loved one. I'm not totally enamoured with them. More of a semicolon kind of guy. (see what I did there)
 
Cleaning out the Inbox

I came across this beauty and thought I would share....

Baby, I had such a nice dream about you last night. I wonder if your goose bumps were popping up on your sweet soft skin. I was massaging your whole body as you lay on the table completely naked as you will be most of the time with me. I was about to start rubbing a nice scented oil into your warm relaxed body and decided to gently lick and then blow cool air across each spot I licked. Then I started dragging a Peacock feather across your back and up and down your spine slowly. My mind was engaged and started working on what I could do next and a grandioso idea hit me! I ran and grab some ice cubes and started sucking on them to make my lips and tongue cold and then kissed you as I sucked your flesh into my mouth with my cold tongue swirling against your skin. I let cold drops hit your spine and watched the goose bumps explode across your body. You were laughing and moaning with ecstatic pleasure and then you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas. I immediately kissed you deeply and passed the ice cube to your warm mouth and as placed another cube in mine you grabbed my hard cock and slide your cold lips around it. I almost exploded inside your throat when you start sliding your cold tongue up and down the vein of my hard dick and head. Then I climbed on top of you and rolled you over on top of me and placed my cold lips and tongue against your clit and hot pussy lips. Your legs clamped down on my head and you pushed your pussy hard against my face with a sigh. I started sliding my cold tongue as deep inside you as I could. You started sucking me harder and faster with your hand against your lips and moving both your hand and head up and down my shaft as fast and deep as you could take it. I felt your inner thighs start to tighten and tasted you starting your orgasm. Babygirl, I started sucking on you to get every drop of your sweet pussy juice I could from your fruit. and you started drinking down my cum as I exploded on your cold tongue. We calmed down for a second just grinding on each other and then turned to engage in a deep kiss to taste ourselves on each other....mmmmmm....it was heaven my sweet slave. I am going to do that to you for sure.
 
it's a shame you can't embed pics in PMs cuz otherwise i'd suggest asking rainshine for the browneye av and replying with it.

rainshine: there's a reason i have avs turned off. :>

ed
 
*Snip*
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....

you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas.
Oh no! It was a frontal assault! Thank goodness he didn't sneak in from the rear.
 
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....

Baby, I had such a nice dream about you last night. I wonder if your goose bumps were popping up on your sweet soft skin. I was massaging your whole body as you lay on the table completely naked as you will be most of the time with me. I was about to start rubbing a nice scented oil into your warm relaxed body and decided to gently lick and then blow cool air across each spot I licked. Then I started dragging a Peacock feather across your back and up and down your spine slowly. My mind was engaged and started working on what I could do next and a grandioso idea hit me! I ran and grab some ice cubes and started sucking on them to make my lips and tongue cold and then kissed you as I sucked your flesh into my mouth with my cold tongue swirling against your skin. I let cold drops hit your spine and watched the goose bumps explode across your body. You were laughing and moaning with ecstatic pleasure and then you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas. I immediately kissed you deeply and passed the ice cube to your warm mouth and as placed another cube in mine you grabbed my hard cock and slide your cold lips around it. I almost exploded inside your throat when you start sliding your cold tongue up and down the vein of my hard dick and head. Then I climbed on top of you and rolled you over on top of me and placed my cold lips and tongue against your clit and hot pussy lips. Your legs clamped down on my head and you pushed your pussy hard against my face with a sigh. I started sliding my cold tongue as deep inside you as I could. You started sucking me harder and faster with your hand against your lips and moving both your hand and head up and down my shaft as fast and deep as you could take it. I felt your inner thighs start to tighten and tasted you starting your orgasm. Babygirl, I started sucking on you to get every drop of your sweet pussy juice I could from your fruit. and you started drinking down my cum as I exploded on your cold tongue. We calmed down for a second just grinding on each other and then turned to engage in a deep kiss to taste ourselves on each other....mmmmmm....it was heaven my sweet slave. I am going to do that to you for sure.

Was this a first PM?
 
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