fear and loathing

I am a older bisexual man writing a story involving a young man who tries to commit suicide because he is wrestling with his gender identity. "I don't want to be gay!" I am intersted in others who might have had similar feelings.

Also the feelings of fear I associated in my early days when someone would pick me up hitchhiking or in a bath room. The feeling of tremendous fear made the experience that much more exciting. Does anyone out there have similar experiences, feelings?