BluebirdDreams
Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2011
- Posts
- 37
how do you communicate to your partner that you want/need to have things a bit rougher sometimes? i'm not having much luck and am too shy to ask straight out.
I get the shyness, but if it's something you can work to overcome I think you may be happier. Stepping outside your comfort zone is very difficult but can often be very rewarding.
During sex when your partner is rougher, moan and say something like "oh baby, that's so hot when you spank me like that." maybe add, "it makes me feel hot like a slut!"
Outside of sex you can make comments like, "I just can't stop thinking about how forceful you were last night," (even if he wasn't as forceful as you'd like) "I can't believe what a turn on it was! I wonder what would happen if you pushed a little harder next time?"
I know that for many the appeal of this fantasy is to NOT have to take reappnsibility for expressing "forbidden desires" so it makes it harder to speak up about what you like or do not. I had trouble when I first started dating my Dom/husband. Once I got past it we started talking about everything. Twelve years now and there is no hesitation for me to tell him that I would love to be forced by two men, mouth and vagina, and he has no trouble telling me his hang ups about another man's cock being near him. The open communication adds a level if intimacy I've never experienced with anyone else.
You might also try watching movies (maybe porn?) that have stronger male roles or rape scenes and either speak up, "Mmm is it fucked up that this is turning me on?" or simply take his hand and SHOW him how turned on it makes you.