The "I Didn't Get Laid Today" Thread

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Sigh. Nope. Got the piano.
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Welp, since last I visited here, I've moved, had a good 24 hours of rehearsal, gotten a job singing in church, written a song, gotten sick over Labor Day Weekend, had my boss resign and a new one move in, had Corporate set all sorts of new watchdog policies over us, started a YouTube account for my compositions, and had a confrontation with a Humane-Society member who thinks it's not our right to decide whether cats can live on our property.

I also have such an insistent case of insomnia that even wanking didn't help.

(And nope, no laid.)
 
Well, I've been trying to be blasé about it, but I think I need to brag just a little.

As of 11 PM on Sunday night, I was able for the first time in my life to leave my customary spot on this thread. (And again in the morning too, which was also nice.)

I got laid.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program. (Especially since it's technically Tuesday now, so, my day of getting laid is over. *rolleyes* Bets on whether it's another 27 years before I get any more?)
 
The closest I have come to getting laid in the last three years is the return smile that I got from a woman in a car that I passed on the highway on my way to lunch today :(
 
SO, this thread looks promising (or not). I'm guessing good vibrations and hot water jet streams don't count, huh? *pouts* What about waking up half naked to your own wandering hands after taking Vicodin for oral surgery the night before? That was odd. I mean, if I'm going to get frisky with myself, I'd like to at least remember or know the reason! Maybe tonight's dose will find me completely naked. :catroar: Anything to ease this godawful excruciating pain! :(

If you have some time and would be so kind: Please check out my Winter Contest story ~Wynter of Contentment~. Thanks! Appreciate the reads, votes, and/or comments. :) *points to link below*
 
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And there I was, hoping that the long rest this thread took was a sign that no one (beside me) was being unlaid anymore...
 
All these complaints about months and years without being laid, you have no idea. According to the list of anniversary gifts by year I have to buy my right hand something made of tin.
 
All these complaints about months and years without being laid, you have no idea. According to the list of anniversary gifts by year I have to buy my right hand something made of tin.

I LOL. I'm working on a paper gift myself.
 
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