Lol Today!

On Sunday’s edition of “Last Week Tonight,” host John Oliver jabbed President Donald Trump’s complete ignorance and “incoherence” with regards to the Iran nuclear deal.

First, Oliver pointed out that Trump’s executive order killing federal subsidies to the Affordable Care Act (ACA) will not only result in fewer Americans having health coverage, it will cost the federal government hundreds of billions of dollars.

“The problem is, Republicans are playing checkers while Trump is playing Chex,” said Oliver. “That’s right, Chex, the game of stress-eating Chex Mix because you do not understand your job.”

“Look, as foreign policies go, this is incoherent. You can’t call it realism or idealism or neo-liberalism,” he said. “You can barely even call it foreign policy. Honestly, the thing it’s closest to is a scared monkey in a submarine, randomly pushing buttons.”

“And sure,” he went on, “that might be fun to watch until it suddenly hits you, ‘Oh, shit! We’re all on the submarine with that fucking monkey.”

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Despite controlling the White House and both chambers of Congress, the reality of dealing with a historically unpopular, divisive and unpredictable president has provided little for Republicans to laugh about in 2017. But as protesters marched outside and gridlock reigned on Capitol Hill, cracking jokes was exactly what House Speaker Paul Ryan was charged with on Thursday night as he took the microphone as the keynote speaker for the annual Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner at New York City's Midtown Hilton Hotel.

“Enough with the applause, you sound like the Cabinet when Donald Trump walks in the room,” Ryan began to laughs from a room of diners who had paid $3,000 a piece for the privilege of their dinner and exclusive company.

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On what he has learned in Congress, Ryan said: “Tweeting after midnight is a really bad idea whether you're President Trump or especially Anthony Weiner, or Ted Cruz for that matter.”

Steve Bannon did not escape Ryan’s jokes, either. Since departing as Trump’s chief strategist in August, Bannon has declared war on establishment Republicans, supporting primary challengers across the country.

Famously, Bannon once said that Ryan was “born in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation. It was a comment Ryan recited on Thursday, before mockingly saying: “No one knew Steve believed in science.”

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NEWARK -- Making his first campaign appearance since leaving office in January, former President Barack Obama implored a packed ballroom in Newark on Thursday to help reject "the politics of division" gripping America by electing Phil Murphy, the Democratic nominee for New Jersey governor.

In a 20-minute speech at the Robert Treat Hotel, Obama said the world will have its eyes on New Jersey when voters pick a successor to outgoing Republican governor Chris Christie on Nov. 7.

"The world counts on American having its act together," Obama told the crowd at the Robert Treat Hotel. "The world is looking at us as an example."

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Obama is the latest in a string of big-name Democrats to visit New Jersey in recent weeks to campaign for Murphy, joining former U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and former vice presidents Joe Biden and Al Gore.

Clinton, the former U.S. secretary of state under Obama, will appear at a fundraiser for Murphy in Harrison on Sunday.

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JackLuis said:

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Secretary of Energy Rick Perry said on Thursday that bringing fossil fuels to the developing world will prevent sexual assaults because rapes are less difficult in the dark.

The Hill said that Perry was addressing a morning panel discussion hosted by Axios.com founder Jim VandeHei and MSNBC’s Chuck Todd when he made the remarks in reference to a recent trip to Africa.

Perry — the former Republican governor of Texas and erstwhile presidential candidate — told Todd and VandeHei that a young girl he met in a remote African village uses a fire that emanates toxic smoke to read by.

“But also from the standpoint of sexual assault,” Perry said. “When the lights are on, when you have light that shines the righteousness, if you will, on those types of acts.”

He went on, “So, from the standpoint of how you really affect people’s lives, fossil fuels is going to play a role in that. I happen to think it’s going to be a positive role.”

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few hours after President Donald Trump’s Twitter account went dark for a blissful 11 minutes, the company responded to the incident, claiming it was the result of human error on a customer service employee’s last day.

“Earlier today @realdonaldtrump’s account was inadvertently deactivated due to human error by a Twitter employee. The account was down for 11 minutes, and has since been restored. We are continuing to investigate and are taking steps to prevent this from happening again,” the company wrote. “Through our investigation we have learned that this was done by a Twitter customer support employee who did this on the employee’s last day. We are conducting a full internal review.”

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JackLuis said:

Internet celebrates the ‘legendary’ Twitter employee that deactivated Trump’s account on their last day

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sr71plt said:

Your mommie was an immigrant. If she were alive today she probably wouldn't be taking your calls.

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President Donald Trump’s bizarre and outlandish behavior has prompted a lot of speculation about his psychological state — and what role his parents played in shaping his peculiar personality.

Trump’s own mother pondered the question herself, according to a new Politico Magazine profile that examines the president’s upbringing and relationship with his parents.

“What kind of son have I created?” wondered Mary Trump in an interview from 1990, when the future president was divorcing his first wife and faced ruinous debt.

Politico interviewed some of Trump’s childhood friends and business associates, as well as some psychologists, to get a sense of the relationship between him and his mother — whom the president rarely mentions.

“You don’t have to be Freud or Fellini to interpret this,” said Mark Smaller, former president of the American Psychoanalytic Association.

Another former president of that organization told Politico that children learn crucial traits — trust, security and a sense of reality — from a so-called “ordinary, devoted mother.”

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“From a child’s perspective, they’ve experienced the withdrawal of a mothering figure,” said psychiatrist Leonard Cruz, author of A Clear and Present Danger: Narcissism in the Era of President Trump. “It might evoke ways of acting that are increasingly bombastic and attention-seeking. The child becomes almost exaggerated in the ways they try to court attention.”

“I’m not speaking specifically about Donald Trump,” he added, “but boy … ”

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JackLuis said:

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Police officers from two different Detroit precincts fought in an apparent turf war in an area known for drug activity.

Two officers from the 12th Precinct were posing as drug dealers Thursday when they attempted to arrest two undercover officers from the 11th Precinct after mistaking them for buyers, reported WJBK-TV.

Other officers from the 12th Precinct’s special operations team showed up to raid a nearby house, but police from the two precincts instead started fighting each other.

Witnesses said guns were drawn and punches thrown in front of startled neighbors.

“You’ve got to have to have more communication, I guess,” said one neighbor who watched the brawl. “I don’t understand what happened about that — communicate.”

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