COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

the marks of a slave

mitchell67 said:
You understand me well so give yourself credit. Symptom can be a neutral term although its connotations in this context are pertinent. The symptoms of a woman's submissiveness are separate from her desirability. Not all submissive woman are equally desirable and I would aver that the least desirable ones are those who unconsciously submit or fight against their own nature.
To follow further on your query, I don't believe that the woman's submissiveness was unhealthy. Again, that is a neutral state. The relationship that she was in was, without a doubt, unhealthy, which is likely related to how she sees herself. Sadly, I think she did not think of herself actively as a woman with submissive qualities, but she was driven blindly and passively to respond to her innate needs and desires. I think we have all met this type.
I can tell you what a friend does to illustrate my other point. She loves to volunteer at her church, often choosing the least desirable tasks. She gets pleasure from scrubbing floors and scouring the pots and pans. The pleasure is in the service to others and perhaps, on some level, to her god, the ultimate in authority figures. She would never ask for praise, but, of course, it made it all worthwhile if ever anybody complimented her on a job well done. If, however, nothing was said, she was simply more resolved to work harder.
So this is an example of her submission without the need for consent. If you can think of a similar example for a dominant type, I want to hear it. Similarly I can think of many wives who are submissive even if their husbands do not reciprocate. It might be very unfulfiling in the long run, but they don't need the husbands' consent to engage in their actions. You might argue that some husbands attempt to dominate their wives. Yet what is the first things that society tells such a wife and it's not: "Oh, you ought to try submitting to his dominant personality".
I think you might be missing some points in your understanding of children and their socialization. All children are born helpless and dependent. We don't need to teach them that. Just being smaller makes them aware that others have more power. It's not acculturation as much as physicality for most of their growing years. But for that matter, they are exposed to cooperative as well as chain of command relationships; mutually beneficial, as well as, parasitic. I think that the best thing that we can do for children is to teach them how to recognize such relationships. The natural/societal debate is mostly academic masturbation.
Click to expand...

That's the first time I've heard the nature/nurture debate likened to masturbation. I'm willing to go there. Yeah. Though I do think some analysis of innate vs. learned behavior is useful. But, I've always gotten off on masturbation. :rolleyes:

I think I do have a different perspective on children and their socialization. It's true that children are born helpless and dependent, but it's astonishing how quickly children learn to manipulate their environment. Some children express dominant traits at a very young age. And some express submissiveness. Our families and cultures then impose their "norms" on the children's raw behavior. And that's how we end up "fighting" against our own nature. At least that's how I see it.

I fully understand the way your friend chooses to express herself, and that it doesn't need a consensual agreement. But I have interacted with people who expressed dominance without consent. For example, there are women I have known who never make it on time to pick up their kids on time so that others have to care for them, who never listen to what others are saying in response to their requests but just assume that things will happen as they wish, who always express themselves forcefully and physically "dominate" the group. And, yes, it is true that they are relying on other people not to fight them off which is a kind of consent, I suppose. But I do think it's possible to dominate others by not giving them a chance to express themselves.
 
I feed my desire on crumbs.

"Our sex life is over."

I have discovered my beauty just in time to dry it between the pages of a book, like a fading flower from a long lost night.

I do not want to be the desiccated crone.
No, I am not the desiccated crone. Not yet.

It's water that I need.

But I am filled with liquid.

If water will not be served to me then I will serve myself.

The slave will serve herself. :eek: Succulent, mouth-watering, delicious.

I lay myself on his table.

He smiles, and squeezes my shoulder. He loves me.

But there are some truths that cannot be denied.

"Our sex life is over."

I have spent my life resisting the urge to wish I were someone else.
But once in a while I do.
 
eastern sun said:
"I'm not letting you go," he said.

The sweetest sweet nothing whispered in my ear.
Click to expand...

I agree..

I have been facing some serious challenges in my relationship lately. At one point recently Daddy said "Even if you asked for release, I would not allow it".

Now for us I am not a slave and I do not live with him so it is more conceptual then actual. But it is enough to keep me where I am. It is enough to give me hope and continue through the challenge.
 
ecstaticsub said:
I agree..

I have been facing some serious challenges in my relationship lately. At one point recently Daddy said "Even if you asked for release, I would not allow it".

Now for us I am not a slave and I do not live with him so it is more conceptual then actual. But it is enough to keep me where I am. It is enough to give me hope and continue through the challenge.
Click to expand...

Sometimes it's the worst thing I can imagine to go through all these changes . . . learn patience and acceptance the hard way . . . "put up" with the more difficult parts of the relationship. . . "sacrifice myself". . . only to be left behind as he moves on to something else.

Sometimes I think I'd be just fine.
 
He sleeps with his leg across my body. It's heavy, and uncomfortable in warm weather.

But he always knows when I move in the night.
 
eastern sun said:
He sleeps with his leg across my body. It's heavy, and uncomfortable in warm weather.

But he always knows when I move in the night.
Click to expand...

You painted a lovely image in my mind now.

I sincerely wish I could belong to someone like that. And yet on conscious level I know I would feel smothered and fight teeth and claw to push not only his leg but him out of my bed in no time.
I cant really blame them if they just get up and walk out. I wouldnt want to fight somebody like me either.

Still, its a beautiful image arousing warmth and painful longing somewhere deep inside me. I wish I was more like you.
 
StrayKat said:
You painted a lovely image in my mind now.

I sincerely wish I could belong to someone like that. And yet on conscious level I know I would feel smothered and fight teeth and claw to push not only his leg but him out of my bed in no time.
I cant really blame them if they just get up and walk out. I wouldnt want to fight somebody like me either.

Still, its a beautiful image arousing warmth and painful longing somewhere deep inside me. I wish I was more like you.
Click to expand...

I don't know. If there was anything about me that I would wish upon you it would be my ability to love myself, even when I'm wishing I was someone else.

But maybe you already have that Kat in the bag. :)
 
And believe me, I have fought him off. With tooth and nail at times.

I just don't win.

Or . . . maybe I should say . . . even if I do win, I don't win.

It's only when he wins, that I win.

It's taken me years to figure that out.


Time is the mother of truth.
 
eastern sun said:
And believe me, I have fought him off. With tooth and nail at times.

I just don't win.

Or . . . maybe I should say . . . even if I do win, I don't win.

It's only when he wins, that I win.

It's taken me years to figure that out.


Time is the mother of truth.
Click to expand...

There is great clarity in your thoughts it comes with prolonged introspection
 
ravi64 said:
There is great clarity in your thoughts it comes with prolonged introspection
Click to expand...

An interesting consequence of setting aside one's own agenda is that you get a lot of time to simply watch the world unfold.
 
eastern sun said:
I don't know. If there was anything about me that I would wish upon you it would be my ability to love myself, even when I'm wishing I was someone else.

But maybe you already have that Kat in the bag. :)
Click to expand...

Maybe I do, but I do believe I lack ability to accept myself the way I am with such calmness. I am always in some high state of embarrassment or anger with myself for doing or not doing or saying things I regret later.
And I am sometimes really bad in controlling my temper.

You are one amazing woman, not only for what you are but how you affect other people. I think I am a tiny bit in love :eek:
 
StrayKat said:
Maybe I do, but I do believe I lack ability to accept myself the way I am with such calmness. I am always in some high state of embarrassment or anger with myself for doing or not doing or saying things I regret later.
And I am sometimes really bad in controlling my temper.

You are one amazing woman, not only for what you are but how you affect other people. I think I am a tiny bit in love :eek:
Click to expand...

I do feel ashamed of myself sometimes.

I'll be washing the dishes when I suddenly remember some interaction that was really clumsy or insensitive, and I literally gasp or cry out with the memory. My kids have asked "you ok, mom?," and to make them feel more comfortable I started turning those cries into little songs. I call them my "shame songs."

But the key has been to stop doing the things that make me ashamed. :rolleyes: Easier said than done, I know. But ultimately it's been the only way I can get through the day without destroying myself.

P.S. I'll love you too, if you'll let me. :)
 
my all-time favorite karaoke - The Supremes "You Keep Me Hangin' On"

I've got the babydoll soprano down.
 
re: rubbing in the name of scientific inquiry

eastern sun said:
That's the first time I've heard the nature/nurture debate likened to masturbation. I'm willing to go there. Yeah. Though I do think some analysis of innate vs. learned behavior is useful. But, I've always gotten off on masturbation. :rolleyes:

I think I do have a different perspective on children and their socialization. It's true that children are born helpless and dependent, but it's astonishing how quickly children learn to manipulate their environment. Some children express dominant traits at a very young age. And some express submissiveness. Our families and cultures then impose their "norms" on the children's raw behavior. And that's how we end up "fighting" against our own nature. At least that's how I see it.

I fully understand the way your friend chooses to express herself, and that it doesn't need a consensual agreement. But I have interacted with people who expressed dominance without consent. For example, there are women I have known who never make it on time to pick up their kids on time so that others have to care for them, who never listen to what others are saying in response to their requests but just assume that things will happen as they wish, who always express themselves forcefully and physically "dominate" the group. And, yes, it is true that they are relying on other people not to fight them off which is a kind of consent, I suppose. But I do think it's possible to dominate others by not giving them a chance to express themselves.
Click to expand...
So you agree with me that a comparison to masturbation is high praise.
I want to suggest that it is possible to express dominance without being a dominant, which, at least, for me is one who acknowledges a sub's involvement in the exchange. Similiarly we don't label all those who hurt others as sadists even though their actions can be called sadistic.
I find it interesting that you use the actions of women to illustrate your point about dominance without consent, in fact, women over other women. Is it true that there are even conscious of the D/s exchange or or they just selfish, domineering types who exploit the tendency of women to avoid conflict and their own presumption of innocence. It is about as impossible to accuse a woman of being too dominating as it is to accuse her of being sexist. I've only been witness to the kind of interaction which you describe and so I thank you for such an insight.
 
"You're not a good sport," he said.
"What?!" I asked, deeply offended. Haven't I gone along with it all?
"You have a bit of a temper."

It pissed me off. To hear that.

The only reason I didn't say anything is because it would only prove his point.
 
intothewoods said:
Does he like to fuck with you?
Click to expand...

Yes, he always has. I am frequently the butt of practical jokes, both funny and not-so-funny.

But apparently things are changing. He told me I wasn't a good sport after he said "I like to fuck you," but I thought he said "I like to fuck with you" and he wanted to clarify why he doesn't like to fuck with me.

Because I get mad.

I used to laugh.

Maybe I'll try to laugh at his jokes again. It might lighten things up around here.
 
I want to step as carefully as possible, so I won't rip the gown that I'm wearing. Tearing the tender veil.

But, then, too, I want to shred that gown and veil into tissue strands. Leave them dangling as I race naked to the heart of my own existence.

And that's how slave works for me.

Integrating that naked race with the need for grace and tender care.

They are not mutually exclusive. No.

It is possible to take each step towards naked existence with such clear awareness that accidents are minimized, clumsiness is diminished, stupid decisions and misguided actions are lessened, and a kind of easy self-confidence fills even the most naked and awkward vulnerability.

That is the heart of slave. That is the direction in which I walk.
 
eastern sun said:
I want to step as carefully as possible, so I won't rip the gown that I'm wearing. Tearing the tender veil.

But, then, too, I want to shred that gown and veil into tissue strands. Leave them dangling as I race naked to the heart of my own existence.

And that's how slave works for me.

Integrating that naked race with the need for grace and tender care.

They are not mutually exclusive. No.

It is possible to take each step towards naked existence with such clear awareness that accidents are minimized, clumsiness is diminished, stupid decisions and misguided actions are lessened, and a kind of easy self-confidence fills even the most naked and awkward vulnerability.

That is the heart of slave. That is the direction in which I walk.
Click to expand...

:heart::heart::heart:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Martles
Learning cock punishment
Replies
0
Views
310
Martles
Martles
Showmewhatchugot84
Question for women in FLRs
Replies
12
Views
444
sweettalk4u
S
M
Diving into bdsm whithout damaging a relationship
Replies
14
Views
412
Bella857Donna
B
Lumiere_Amie
Should I change the category?
Replies
1
Views
112
PaxNurgle
P
T
Looking for rough statistics for the BDSM scene in the US
Replies
0
Views
187
Tomh1966
T
Back
Top