COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Experienced Doms

  • Thread starter BeautifulBlueSky218
  • Start date
richard_daily said:
That's an interesting point of conversation, given the current fallout from many powerful men being toppled by accusations (the vast majority true, no doubt) of sexual assault and inappropriate sexual contact.

Consent is the key, but how do you determine when consent is first given to "act all dommy"?

I certainly COULD act "all dommy" to everyone I encounter, but it would just make me look like an asshole at best, and a raging sex offender at worst.

However, it is a big part of who I am, and in many ways, I feel it's my natural state. I feel more at home and more alive when expressing those proclivities than most other times, and it's not simply because of the thrill factor.
Click to expand...

Don’t do that. Act all Dommy to everyone you meet.
And inspiring someone to be submissive is not the same as sexual harassment.
Consent is the key word, yes.

Communication is the way to determine the dommyness of your advances.

I mean, it’s not that hard.


“Oooh, now women are speaking up!!! Will this make it more difficult for me to get laid???”

Maybe.

I’m not saying you are saying that, but IMO this current toppling of powerful men who are misogynisitc is waaaaay overdue.
 
cookiecat said:
What's your issue with Raw Humor? You were changing his post in another thread, too.

Weird.
Click to expand...

I gently poked someone in the Personals. They didn't take too kindly to it. I'm guessing he cybered with "her" and now he's "her" knight. Or he is her.

Either way, it's fun to collect trolls. I haven't had a good one in a while though, including the current wannabe.
 
richard_daily said:
That's an interesting point of conversation, given the current fallout from many powerful men being toppled by accusations (the vast majority true, no doubt) of sexual assault and inappropriate sexual contact.

Consent is the key, but how do you determine when consent is first given to "act all dommy"?

I certainly COULD act "all dommy" to everyone I encounter, but it would just make me look like an asshole at best, and a raging sex offender at worst.

However, it is a big part of who I am, and in many ways, I feel it's my natural state. I feel more at home and more alive when expressing those proclivities than most other times, and it's not simply because of the thrill factor.
Click to expand...

Those men weren’t being “dominant.” They were creeps taking advantage of the power structures in their respective industries. Someone working for you or in need of a job is not on equal footing to consent to sexual advances.
 
MeekMe said:
Those men weren’t being “dominant.” They were creeps taking advantage of the power structures in their respective industries. Someone working for you or in need of a job is not on equal footing to consent to sexual advances.
Click to expand...

👍��👍👍👍
 
This s just my experience, but I've found that if you talk to your partner, they -in my case she- will make sure you know what the current limits look like. Personally, I don't know if you can over communicate, but I know you can under communicate. Just by seeking to know her, her interests, her kinks, I've never had to ask if we were in a place where she was up to being manhandled. I have missed some cue's, but in those cases, the girl just made it crystal clear.
 
barefootgirl69 said:
Sexual attraction?
Click to expand...

RawHumor said:
I gently poked someone in the Personals. They didn't take too kindly to it. I'm guessing he cybered with "her" and now he's "her" knight. Or he is her.

Either way, it's fun to collect trolls. I haven't had a good one in a while though, including the current wannabe.
Click to expand...

I am standing by my comment, but I like your's, too...
 
Thanks for your inputs on what a true Dom is. :) I made an Ad not to long ago and it seems the Dom's that seem to come my way want to talk about sex right off the bat and not even want to know me as a person, my hobbies or my opinions about different things. Isn't it all based on trust and be willing to be patient with their sub?

I can't seem to open up to people right off the bat of meeting them. I have to get to know them and learn to trust them. Each time I get a pm saying they want a nude photo right away or asking me very bizarre questions, I delete it.

So now I'm pretty much just pming people back and forth, simply just talking to them as friends. I'm very shy and it takes awhile for me to open up and learn to trust people, cause I've had a bad experience with a Dom in the past and it was when I was very naive and young. So now I want to be careful.

and when I say shy, yes I'm very very shy... :eek:
giphy.gif
 
Last edited by a moderator:
BeautifulBlueSky218 said:
Thanks for your inputs on what a true Dom is. :) I made an Ad not to long ago and it seems the Dom's that seem to come my way want to talk about sex right off the bat and not even want to know me as a person, my hobbies or my opinions about different things. Isn't it all based on trust and be willing to be patient with their sub?

I can't seem to open up to people right off the bat of meeting them. I have to get to know them and learn to trust them. Each time I get a pm saying they want a nude photo right away or asking me very bizarre questions, I delete it.

So now I'm pretty much just pming people back and forth, simply just talking to them as friends. I'm very shy and it takes awhile for me to open up and learn to trust people, cause I've had a bad experience with a Dom in the past and it was when I was very naive and young. So now I want to be careful.

and when I say shy, yes I'm very very shy... :eek:
Click to expand...

Often the people trolling the personals are under the impression that women who present as subs = easy and that if they call themselves a Dom they can just give you orders and you will go all weak in the knees and do whatever they say. Of course that's just plain stupid. I would consider any person who started giving orders right away, insisting on some kind of protocol immediately or asking for images of you are just hoping they are going get their rocks off and are not interested in developing an actual relationship.

typos corrected, original post was made typing on my phone...
 
Last edited:
cascadiabound said:
Often the people trolling the personals are under the impression that women who is as subs = easy and that if they call themselves a Dom they can just give you orders and you will go all weak in the knees and do whatever they say. Of course that's just plain stupid. I would consider any person who started giving orders right away, insisting on some kind of protocol immediately or asking for images of you is just hoping they are going get there rocks off and are not interested in developing an actual relationship.
Click to expand...

I agree in general with what you say but I think ignorance is the problem.

I often think that (safety disclaimer right there so now no one is allowed to bite my head off, please :) I like my head where it is even when I have an opinion.) too many people see the beauty of a submissive's surrender without having any information about what kind of tender love and care has been required to earn that level of trust.

They watch some BDSM porn and see images of a sub who has given over control completely, who has surrendered dignity and self determination. Of course they are going to see the Beauty of it. It is beautiful. They want that but they don't know or don't have the patience for what is required to earn it and they don't realise it is a gift. they think something is being taken and don't realize that actually something is being given.

Submission is a gift that grows the more it is appreciated. I am submissive and have self respect. They are not mutually exclusive. Too many ignorant people equate submission with giving up self respect.

Uggg
 
Uggg said:
Submission is a gift that grows the more it is appreciated. I am submissive and have self respect. They are not mutually exclusive. Too many ignorant people equate submission with giving up self respect.

Uggg
Click to expand...

There it is, right there. Well said. Submission is a gift to be treasured, to be nourished as only then with complete trust and respect in each other will a sub truly let go. A sub is a person. Respect them, listen to them, they deserve our respect. A sub does have other needs to be satisfied, complete. A Dom will know and understand that person and the things they need to do to satisfy that need.
 
BeautifulBlueSky218 said:
Thanks for your inputs on what a true Dom is. :) I made an Ad not to long ago and it seems the Dom's that seem to come my way want to talk about sex right off the bat and not even want to know me as a person, my hobbies or my opinions about different things. Isn't it all based on trust and be willing to be patient with their sub?
Click to expand...

If they're that impatient and demanding right off the bat, then what type of "dom" do you think they'd be? So, it's good of you to ignore those types.

A relationship takes time.

Too many men think that D/s is like a Pop Tart. I wanna push a button and have a sub pop out ready to submit to my every whim.
 
I disagree with the submission being a gift thing, but I do agree with submissives not giving up self respect (and even then there are people who really love giving up the self respect). In no other relationship would I think my end of the dynamic was a “gift” to the other. Just as what they bring isn’t a gift. It’s a mutual relationship. That’s just my opinion.
 
MeekMe said:
I disagree with the submission being a gift thing, but I do agree with submissives not giving up self respect (and even then there are people who really love giving up the self respect). In no other relationship would I think my end of the dynamic was a “gift” to the other. Just as what they bring isn’t a gift. It’s a mutual relationship. That’s just my opinion.
Click to expand...

You beat me to it. I don't ascribe to it being a gift, either. When I submit to someone it's because I've gotten to know him and feel that is the direction I need to go, it happens naturally... it's a mutual acceptance, if I can say it that way (a relationship like any other)... but not a gift to him. He doesn't earn my submission either, but that's another thread....:rolleyes:
 
MeekMe said:
I disagree with the submission being a gift thing, but I do agree with submissives not giving up self respect (and even then there are people who really love giving up the self respect). In no other relationship would I think my end of the dynamic was a “gift” to the other. Just as what they bring isn’t a gift. It’s a mutual relationship. That’s just my opinion.
Click to expand...

barefootgirl69 said:
You beat me to it. I don't ascribe to it being a gift, either. When I submit to someone it's because I've gotten to know him and feel that is the direction I need to go, it happens naturally... it's a mutual acceptance, if I can say it that way (a relationship like any other)... but not a gift to him. He doesn't earn my submission either, but that's another thread....:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

yeah. I am with these two lovely ladies.
maybe we are a gift TO EACH OTHER in the D/s dynamic. But yeah. Not a gift. :rolleyes:
 
barefootgirl69 said:
You beat me to it. I don't ascribe to it being a gift, either. When I submit to someone it's because I've gotten to know him and feel that is the direction I need to go, it happens naturally... it's a mutual acceptance, if I can say it that way (a relationship like any other)... but not a gift to him. He doesn't earn my submission either, but that's another thread....:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I always struggle with the 'earn' thing too ... I can never think of any other way to phrase it, but 'earn' really isn't right either. And the problem is that as a concept it implies that any old guy could have that if he just 'worked' hard enough, or figured out the right way to go about it. Which is totally not the case. It's a dynamic between two specific individuals, and it develops over time. Sometimes, without that even being the initial intention. Like all actual relationships, I guess - we never quite know where they're going to go when we start them.
 
Thanks for you're input's everyone. I think I'm going to sit back for a bit until I meet someone I truly connect with. I like taking the time to get to know someone, I don't like jumping into things right off the bat. I've never been that type of girl.

When people drop pm's in my box and ask me sexual questions right off the bat, it makes me wonder what their intentions might have. I like building a friendship with someone before I can move into sexual chat and open up to them about more personal things.

Everyone has different opinions on things and I respect them. :) One day, I'm sure I'll find the right Dom for me. There's no need to hurry.
 
I find that interesting, as to me, the D/s dynamic works for the two, and that comes with understanding between two people. The gift being she has trust and confidence in him. It is all about respect, in my view, and in particular listening to her.

It is not about "earning" a right, that is not it.
 
I disagree with the submission being a gift thing, but I do agree with submissives not giving up self respect (and even then there are people who really love giving up the self respect). In no other relationship would I think my end of the dynamic was a “gift” to the other. Just as what they bring isn’t a gift. It’s a mutual relationship. That’s just my opinion.
Click to expand...

I agree in regards a relationship being mutual. I see it as being gift giving that goes both ways. I can only speak for myself but I feel like I am giving something when I submit and I feel like a Dom is giving me something when they give me the physical and emotional gratification I need. Maybe gift isn't the right word?

You beat me to it. I don't ascribe to it being a gift, either. When I submit to someone it's because I've gotten to know him and feel that is the direction I need to go, it happens naturally... it's a mutual acceptance, if I can say it that way (a relationship like any other)... but not a gift to him. He doesn't earn my submission either, but that's another thread....
Click to expand...

Interesting that you say he doesn't earn your submission. In my case I can't truly submit unless I trust and trust has to be earned? That's how I feel about it.

yeah. I am with these two lovely ladies.
maybe we are a gift TO EACH OTHER in the D/s dynamic. But yeah. Not a gift.
Click to expand...

I should have worded my original post like that. Yes a gift to each other that's how it feels. But not the same type of gift. I'm giving roses and getting chocolates;)

---------

Interesting that we feel differently about this! I wonder if its a gender thing? Or it could just be an individual thing but I do notice that Dreamliner agreed with me and hes a guy and you three are ladies? What do you think?

:rose:

Uggg
 
Uggg said:
I agree in regards a relationship being mutual. I see it as being gift giving that goes both ways. I can only speak for myself but I feel like I am giving something when I submit and I feel like a Dom is giving me something when they give me the physical and emotional gratification I need. Maybe gift isn't the right word?

Interesting that you say he doesn't earn your submission. In my case I can't truly submit unless I trust and trust has to be earned? That's how I feel about it.



I should have worded my original post like that. Yes a gift to each other that's how it feels. But not the same type of gift. I'm giving roses and getting chocolates;)

---------

Interesting that we feel differently about this! I wonder if its a gender thing? Or it could just be an individual thing but I do notice that Dreamliner agreed with me and hes a guy and you three are ladies? What do you think?

:rose:

Uggg
Click to expand...

What does he do to earn it? Stand on his head? Earning to me means working, putting forth effort.

All I know is, in my experience, we were simply friends and the more I got to know him the more the pull to submit to him occurred. He didn't do anything but be himself. He didn't work on being honest and kind.. he just was that way. I brought my feelings to him, not as a gift "Hey, I want to submit to you - here it is." but as something so much more. Explaining to him the feelings I was having, because neither of us was looking. He did me the HONOR of allowing me to submit.

These are just my feelings. I'm aware others may feel differently, but I will never consider it a gift that was earned. :)
 
barefootgirl69 said:
What does he do to earn it? Stand on his head? Earning to me means working, putting forth effort.

All I know is, in my experience, we were simply friends and the more I got to know him the more the pull to submit to him occurred. He didn't do anything but be himself. He didn't work on being honest and kind.. he just was that way. I brought my feelings to him, not as a gift "Hey, I want to submit to you - here it is." but as something so much more. Explaining to him the feelings I was having, because neither of us was looking. He did me the HONOR of allowing me to submit.

These are just my feelings. I'm aware others may feel differently, but I will never consider it a gift that was earned. :)
Click to expand...

Coolio,

in truth I have never really talked about this outside of the couple of relationships where I have been able to explore this aspect of my character so I find what others such as yourself have to say on the subject very interesting.

I think perhaps my shyness is quite a limiting factor for me. My trust might just be harder to come by because of that.

:rose:

Uggg
 
Uggg said:
Coolio,

in truth I have never really talked about this outside of the couple of relationships where I have been able to explore this aspect of my character so I find what others such as yourself have to say on the subject very interesting.

I think perhaps my shyness is quite a limiting factor for me. My trust might just be harder to come by because of that.

:rose:

Uggg
Click to expand...

Is there any specific way you want me to pronounce your name?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Showmewhatchugot84
Question for women in FLRs
Replies
15
Views
597
Showmewhatchugot84
Showmewhatchugot84
T
Golden Showers (Drink ?OR On the body?)
2
Replies
49
Views
2K
TattedPepper
TattedPepper
SofiaLaFrench
Anal spanking?
Replies
24
Views
990
Swuchro
S
Cardinal
FLR v Femdom
Replies
21
Views
1K
MorlockIam
M
P
Nipple pain, who knew it felt so good?
2
Replies
29
Views
1K
staylate
S
Back
Top