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Erotic writing basics - sound effects?

Sound effects or nope?

  • Total voters
    22
  • Poll closed .
C

CC00

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Aug 19, 2018
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One very interesting that caught my eye as I recently read a few erotic pieces are that in most cases the author either describes the sex scene (EX: she gagged on the massive size his cock and struggled to suck it properly) or uses sound affects (EX: Gugh gugh gugh gugh as he rammed his massive cock inside her tiny mouth) and Sometimes I would see a writer use a mix of both. What are your thoughts on sound effects vs general descriptive writing and why?
 
A writer should be free to use a variety of techniques to communicate sounds, sights, smells, action, you name it. There's no necessary limit on what a writer can do or should do. Some care needs to be taken not to do things that come across as ridiculous, but that's not a reason to avoid rendering sound effects in words.
 
The sound effects I sometimes find off-putting are those supposed to be made by someone who has been gagged.

No matter how someone has been gagged, they can usually make sounds in their throat. If they are cleave gagged as often appears in erotic pictures and videos, the effect of the gag is minimal.

Yet all gagged people seem to MMMPF!
 
................
 
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I don't use them, and I don't want to read them. I've never seen it done in a way that was effective for me.
 
Thanks for this thread. Ironically enough for a long-time Literotica reader, I am not fond of explicit sex scenes in literature. I've long found them to be the least interesting part of stories, because there is nothing new under the sun, after all. And, primarily, I dislike how most authors do "dialog" in sex scenes ("MMRM, FUGH, FUGH, FUGH, CUUUUMMMMMMMIING!"). But I've realized now, that a second big reason is that I dislike the written sound effects! Voted accordingly. Fun thread.
 
KindofHere said:
Other: Use them or don't use them or combine them, it's the writer's ability to make them work that will keep me reading, not the words themselves.
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Agreed.

I enjoy properly-used onomatopoeia, which fits into the question, I think.
 
TarnishedPenny said:
Agreed.

I enjoy properly-used onomatopoeia, which fits into the question, I think.
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I might draw a line between kinds of onomatopoeia. Words like "grunt", "splash", "slap" or "squish" have imitative word origins and so are onomatopoeic, but they are also accepted English vocabulary. Their use is different from "unngh," "uff, uff," "mfrm," etc which might imitate sounds, but they aren't words.

The first kind of onomatopoeia is unavoidable. The second kind is usually comic.
 
NotWise said:
I might draw a line between kinds of onomatopoeia. Words like "grunt", "splash", "slap" or "squish" have imitative word origins and so are onomatopoeic, but they are also accepted English vocabulary. Their use is different from "unngh," "uff, uff," "mfrm," etc which might imitate sounds, but they aren't words.

The first kind of onomatopoeia is unavoidable. The second kind is usually comic.
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Comic is right. Where would Billy Connolly be without sound effects? It can work well with humour, perhaps because it seems a little naughty in its use. I think I remember the Two Ronnies using onomatopoeia too along with alliteration. Sound effects can be risky to use because they can seem immature, lazy and excessive.
 
NotWise said:
I might draw a line between kinds of onomatopoeia. Words like "grunt", "splash", "slap" or "squish" have imitative word origins and so are onomatopoeic, but they are also accepted English vocabulary. Their use is different from "unngh," "uff, uff," "mfrm," etc which might imitate sounds, but they aren't words.

The first kind of onomatopoeia is unavoidable. The second kind is usually comic.
Click to expand...

I like it, in moderation. The second type is an common part of daily communication, especially when someone is occupied and, used properly, can play quite well.

I use the first type when appropriate, eg. "The limo door chuffed behind us as it was closed." For some reason, 'chuff' is to me precisely the right sound/word.

CC00's initial example, "Gugh gugh gugh gugh as he rammed his massive cock inside her tiny mouth" is IMO precisely the wrong way to go. Just ick, eew and ack to that!
 
My first editor of my first story called out my habit of writing out every squeal and grunt and moan as onomatopoeiatic quotes. I forget the exact word he used. It might have been "juvenile" or "amateurish". He wasn't a fan at any rate. I, on the other hand, like a story that engages my aural senses. There's a difference between "Unf! Ungh! Ah!" and "Ohh-hooo-hmmm..." and sometimes you really need to make that clear. But I saw my editor's point and realized I had probably over done it. I try to mix my techniques and not over do any one writing trick.
 
Depends on the context

It does depend on the context and what category of story and what type of reader the story is aimed at. Use them both or use just one. You have to make a decision on each one at the time as to what fits in with the story.
 
SimonDoom said:
A writer should be free to use a variety of techniques to communicate sounds, sights, smells, action, you name it. There's no necessary limit on what a writer can do or should do. Some care needs to be taken not to do things that come across as ridiculous, but that's not a reason to avoid rendering sound effects in words.
Click to expand...

Agree.
 
TarnishedPenny said:
I use the first type when appropriate, eg. "The limo door chuffed behind us as it was closed." For some reason, 'chuff' is to me precisely the right sound/word.
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click, click, tap... click, click, click, click..., click, click. tap. tap.

Oh wait, what I meant to say, is that "chuff" is an English word, but it describes the sound of a steam locomotive working into action, not the sound of a closing limo door. You may be risking confusion.

Is it the sound you want to portray, or is it the meaning of the sound?
 
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NotWise said:
click, click, tap... click, click, click, click..., click, click. tap. tap.

Oh wait, what I meant to say, is that "chuff" is an English word, but it describes the sound of a steam locomotive working into action, not the sound of a closing limo door. You may be risking confusion.

Is it the sound you want to portray, or is it the meaning of the sound?
Click to expand...
In this context, it's the sound of the sound, surely.

A chuff is also a bird.

The word was used well before steam engines: 16th century standard English SE chuff, meaning swollen out or puffed with fat. Hence, I was pretty chuffed when she said she liked my story.
 
electricblue66 said:
In this context, it's the sound of the sound, surely.
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Only TP could say. From the line offered I thought that the closing door marked a transition, so the sound of the closing door could be less important than the transition it marked.

No matter what, this usage isn't like "gugh, gugh, gugh, gugh."
 
My use of onomatopeia is judicious...

But I rarely use it directly, so much as describe the sound within a sentence.

"His bulging, watery eyes made a 'plip!' sound when he blinked."

"His now-soft cock fell out of her with a wet 'plop!' noise, and she shivered at the sensation and giggled at the sound."

I'm not sure I'd ever include 'gugh gugh gugh gugh' in a sentence, no matter how much she loved her man and chose his dick over oxygen. I'd probably find a different way to describe it.

Kudos to anyone who pulls it off and makes it sexy, though. That's impressive.

I'm totally in favour of the judicious use of sound effects. It is was good enough for Batman, it was good enough for me!
 
Where did I put my coconut shells?

The hero is riding to her rescue on his steaming horse.
 
When I first started writing I would use sound FX right up until a young lady who offered to edit my stuff before I posted it, asked me not to. She replaced all my sound FX with the proper English words. After reading what she did, I decided never to use 'ugh' again.

That left me with a dilemma, but then everyone who had ridden in a car knows what the door closing sounds like, so why describe it? Let the reader full in the sound for themselves. Not everyone hears the same thing.

e.g. They both turned at the sound of the closing of the car door behind them.

So I use a lot of words that will describe sounds, like "grunt", "sighed", etc. Let the reader fill in the sound. Not all women grunt or sigh the same.

Just my two cents worth.
 
KindofHere said:
And yet, people know what fucking is and how it feels, so why describe? Or a kiss? Or fist fight. Or a sword fight? ... Why not say: They made love. (End scene).

You write in the way that feels right. If you like the way a sound effect reads, put it in, if you don't, you don't. Everything goes to mood, setting, ambience, (a bunch of other technical words) ... sometimes they're fun, different, unexpected, sometimes they are not. In a bad writing, they are just bad, in good writing, they are either just another word or interesting to read. They may help put certain readers into the scene, others not. (But, if people are reading books just to pick out what they don't like, fuck them - NOT you guys, but them.)

Don't over think it. Do as you do and don't let someone else tell you how to write UNLESS you like what they have to tell you.

Edit: On a side note, unless I'm watching Adam West in Batman, I think POW in a fight scene is stupid. And I'd never have someone say "Ugh." But if someone wanted to emphasize the creak of a door or the chugga-chugga-chugga of a train, I'd wouldn't mind. Things like that in books have ehanced atmospheres for me. (I'm sure I've read that somewhere, Stephen King? Children's horror stories? Somewhere.)

But the thread is about Erotic Writing. In sex scenes, I don't mind a little sound effects, sometimes they add to the intensity of a really good stroking scene, but I don't know how they'd play out in something romantic.
Click to expand...

I think of a piece of fiction as being like a zen garden. It's not meant to mimic reality; it's meant to be an artful recreation of reality, that suggests reality by incorporating just the right amount of carefully placed detail, and leaving the rest to the reader's imagination.


You're right that no one would want to read an erotic story where the author wrote only "They made love." That's not interesting writing. A balance of good details and blank spaces to be filled in by the reader is required. There's no one-size-fits-all formula for that balance.

I think sound effects in a story can have their place, but also can easily be overdone. It all depends on what the needs and tone of the story are, what the effects are, and how they are used.
 
KindofHere said:
And yet, people know what fucking is and how it feels, so why describe? Or a kiss? Or fist fight. Or a sword fight? ... Why not say: They made love. (End scene).

You write in the way that feels right. If you like the way a sound effect reads, put it in, if you don't, you don't. Everything goes to mood, setting, ambience, (a bunch of other technical words) ... sometimes they're fun, different, unexpected, sometimes they are not. In a bad writing, they are just bad, in good writing, they are either just another word or interesting to read. They may help put certain readers into the scene, others not. (But, if people are reading books just to pick out what they don't like, fuck them - NOT you guys, but them.)

Don't over think it. Do as you do and don't let someone else tell you how to write UNLESS you like what they have to tell you.

Edit: On a side note, unless I'm watching Adam West in Batman, I think POW in a fight scene is stupid. And I'd never have someone say "Ugh." But if someone wanted to emphasize the creak of a door or the chugga-chugga-chugga of a train, I'd wouldn't mind. Things like that in books have ehanced atmospheres for me. (I'm sure I've read that somewhere, Stephen King? Children's horror stories? Somewhere.)

But the thread is about Erotic Writing. In sex scenes, I don't mind a little sound effects, sometimes they add to the intensity of a really good stroking scene, but I don't know how they'd play out in something romantic.
Click to expand...

Because that's what people come here to read about, not what a car door closing sound like. They was to read about fucking, socking all the rest.

...as for them just making love...end scene.

They aren't making love, they're fucking. Hard and fast. In, out, in, out. As hard as they can until !POW! they both achieve orgasm.

I do describe the sounds of fucking. I don't describe every sound that people make as they go through life. I leave that to the readers imagination and if they don't have one of those, I blame their parents and the Department of Education.
 
So my recent use of Slap! in a spanking scene, was that a gerund? ;)

FWIW, I used 'chuff' for a limo door closing to emphasize the solid, Quality nature of the vehicle. For two points and a jumbo lolipop, what was the sound of a Trabant door closing? A Model T? A '57 Dodge pickup?
 
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TarnishedPenny said:
So my recent use of Slap! FWIW, I used 'chuff' for a limo door closing to emphasize the solid, Quality nature of the vehicle. For two points and a jumbo lolipop, what was the sound of a Trabant door closing? A Model T? A '57 Dodge pickup?
Click to expand...
A clatter, a rattle, and a clunk?
 
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