How to pursue bisexual desire

njgirl0863

Lit Goddess
Joined
Sep 3, 2006
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I am extremely curious. I have tried to talk and engage numerous women but none seem interested in someone who is just curious.

I am not into games....I am looking for someone sincere to talk with, get to know and more if it feels right.
 
Try LBGT venues like bars or clubs, where people are more socially open and up for a good time.

You basically have to accept that a lot of gay women aren't going to be interested. Cast a wide enough net though and someone should fall into it.

There's also a personals section here and numerous LGBT dating sites.
 
I am extremely curious. I have tried to talk and engage numerous women but none seem interested in someone who is just curious.

I am not into games....I am looking for someone sincere to talk with, get to know and more if it feels right.

Posting here is a good start. Usually bi and gay, who are well experienced sexually, aren't very patient with someone who is curious, even when you are extremely curious. You need to look for someone similar to yourself, someone who is sincere and wants to get to know you first. You are less likely to find someone like that in LGBT, than you are in mainstream, straight venues such as this. there are a lot of women who consider themselves straight, but are very curious like yourself. Be patient and look for someone friendly first. It will take time, but you will find the person you are looking for.
 
njgirl, do you have any close female friends who might be open to a FWB arrangement?

ed
 
I'm not sure if you mean online or in person. But I think you should try finding another woman that is curious...then you can explore that together.
 
I'm not sure if you mean online or in person. But I think you should try finding another woman that is curious...then you can explore that together.

I really prefer someone who is experienced. I would feel so much more comfortable this way. I guess patience is the key. I do have some friends who are but I don't know how to approach the subject. Should I just come right out or hint around?
 
Being bisexual but not in the open about it is very hard . I am recently divorced and am chatting with a guy that lives 45 minutes away. He is married but wants to fool around and explore. :) Now i just have to see if my girlfriend is ok with it. She already gave me permission to find a guy but If he wants to have his wife join it might be a deal breaker. I don't want to miss out on the oppoutunity, be has sent me a few pics and he is cute. :D
 
Being bisexual but not in the open about it is very hard . I am recently divorced and am chatting with a guy that lives 45 minutes away. He is married but wants to fool around and explore. :) Now i just have to see if my girlfriend is ok with it. She already gave me permission to find a guy but If he wants to have his wife join it might be a deal breaker. I don't want to miss out on the oppoutunity, be has sent me a few pics and he is cute. :D

Sometimes it is better to not let thy right hand know what thy left hand is doing. Maybe he and his wife will go for a mmf. :devil: Your girlfriend is already ok with you finding a guy, but she doesn't need to know that he brought someone to help out. No point in stirring the anthill at home. :D
 
Sometimes it is better to not let thy right hand know what thy left hand is doing. Maybe he and his wife will go for a mmf. :devil: Your girlfriend is already ok with you finding a guy, but she doesn't need to know that he brought someone to help out. No point in stirring the anthill at home. :D

If Todd's gf ever got wind that he didn't tell her the whole truth, I'm betting that would be the end of her agreeing to nonmonogamy. Consensual nonmonogamy requires informed consent, honesty and trust if it has a shot at working. When a person in that type of relationship starts hiding stuff or lying, it's no longer consensual, it's just plain cheating.

You're right to talk to your gf before you consider it, Todd. :rose: Maybe it'll be a dealbreaker, but she might be OK with it if she's informed, present and/or there's no purposeful touching with the other woman. You have a hell of a better shot finding a compromise or getting consent if you approach this with love and honesty, that's for sure! :)
 
Sometimes it is better to not let thy right hand know what thy left hand is doing. Maybe he and his wife will go for a mmf. :devil: Your girlfriend is already ok with you finding a guy, but she doesn't need to know that he brought someone to help out. No point in stirring the anthill at home. :D

Sounds like a really shitty way to treat the girlfriend, I'd say.
 
I cant offer much advice but my ex partner was curious for many years and the process was finding the right person did take a long time. Don't feel you need to jump in, I'm sure looking on the right forums / sites / apps you will find who you are looking for.
I wish you luck :)
 
The best advice that I can give you is to seek out a swing club in your area. Swingers are mostly married couples and don't tolerate single men very much but they are very tolerant of single women. This is because a majority of swinger wives are bisexual. Most swing clubs let single women in for free.
 
I am extremely curious. I have tried to talk and engage numerous women but none seem interested in someone who is just curious.

I am not into games....I am looking for someone sincere to talk with, get to know and more if it feels right.

Hey :) It can be hard being bisexual, because same-sex rejection can be brutal, because it can lead you to think that your so called "gaydar" is malfunctioning. Don't think that way.

I went from bi-curious to full blown bisexual myself and I'm enjoying it. I didn't have to visit LGBT bars. Some say that it is helpful, but do what suits you :)
 
Try a dating site

That is originally what I did and what I currently do. It allows you to fine tune who and what type of person that you went to meet. In your case you just put yourself out there and be honest. You will be able to find someone who will be tender with you and understand where you are. I have used OkCupid and it's not bad. When you go to gay bars you don't know what you will experience, what type of woman she is. With a dating site you can get to know her as much as you can by email then text and FaceTime etc. Swingers club I don't recommend as you will be in high demand and will be asked to participate with the couple. So if your interested in a threesome swinging is good. You may get FF or MF or any combination at a club but it's kinda nerve racking if you never done it. You may get a woman who want you to herself but with the boyfriend husband watching. If your into that then it's all good too.
 
If Todd's gf ever got wind that he didn't tell her the whole truth, I'm betting that would be the end of her agreeing to nonmonogamy. Consensual nonmonogamy requires informed consent, honesty and trust if it has a shot at working. When a person in that type of relationship starts hiding stuff or lying, it's no longer consensual, it's just plain cheating.

You're right to talk to your gf before you consider it, Todd. :rose: Maybe it'll be a dealbreaker, but she might be OK with it if she's informed, present and/or there's no purposeful touching with the other woman. You have a hell of a better shot finding a compromise or getting consent if you approach this with love and honesty, that's for sure! :)

What Erika said ! I have a similar arrangement Todd, and you must already know how rare that kind of openness and trust is. Don't destroy the gift she's given you. You should discuss it with and then inform your new potential friend of the parameters you have to require...plus, it sounds like you don't even know if the friend's wife is even interested...best do a little research first ;)
 
It's generally safer to pursue online than IRL nowadays.

Bisexual alone (ff) or with a man in the picture (mff) ?
 
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