Do you tend to learn toward dominate or Submissive

hmmm...got me thinking..

As I re-read my own post for clarity I DID find myself disagreeing with myself.

I strongly object to the notion being taught in modern education that a teacher ought not correct grammar and spelling in for example subjects that are NOT grammar and spelling.

That "getting ideas out' trumps learning to communicate your ideas or to understand the ideas of others.

As a former English teacher, who was trained just as the "self-esteem movement" was getting under way, I can sympathize with your feelings here. Because of prevailing political winds, I had to find ways to correct grammar and punctuation and such without much use of the red pen. My students seemed to have come out just fine, in the end.
...And this isn't dirtystory-ica. One would like to presume a level of literacy here.

I agree that one should probably expect to be taken a little less seriously with sloppy syntax.

Needs some balance, I think.

Yes, it does. If you spend enough time here, you'll see that a few of the more popular regulars regularly put up posts that include numerous spelling and/or grammatical errors. Perhaps they have earned enough respect from the other regulars that no one ever calls them to task for these errors. In truth, that's where the balance comes in, at least here. Those who participate in the community regularly and offer up contributions that add to the discussion are given plenty of slack. Those who burst in the door and demand immediate attention before giving anything forward beforehand tend to draw our ire.

As I look past the beam in my eye, I see a LOT of motes on the windows of other's glass houses when they play the grammar "knock-out" game. Those with the education, experience and true gift with language rarely seem to.

Just once I would like to see an cleverly artful correction done with great humor and elan.

I DO see those sort of gentle corrections when it comes to content. Where someone kindly explains that a neophyte has some counterproductive assumptions built into their thoughts on a subject.

I'm quite sure this happens from time to time. Keep your eye on DGE.
With grammar it seems ignore it or break out the red pen and the ruler. (I am also old enough to recall corporal punishment in the classroom..on the other hand...it worked.)

I think that what you may be seeing here is that there is relatively little nuance involved when someone simply uses the incorrect word. Either one has used the right word or not. A green sky is simply not how one describes a fine June day. At the other extreme, there can be plenty of nuance in any discussion of the how, why, where, and when of bdsm practices or other aspects of relationships that are discussed here. Thus it's much more common for gentle suggestiion to be a part of the discussion of content.
 
I know what Blaze meant. So she misspelled some things. So what?
No reason to be d-bags and a-holes about it. Like she said it is a thread, not a spelling quiz.
Instead of sniping about the spelling why not just answer the g-d damn question?
I tend to lean toward submissive and that is the way I was taught. I learned how to be a better sub and had to better please my more dominant partner.
 
I think tone matters when correcting people, too. I mean, lets be honest, "I think dominant is the word you're looking for" is a bit snarky. "Is the word you're looking for" (or "is the word you seek") is a bit condescending. And "when you grow up you'll understand the difference" is downright rude.

I like to think I have a good vocabulary, but I misuse words occasionally. If someone corrected me with a tone of superiority, I'd probably have an attitude with them back as well. Sure, spelling is important, but there's no reason to get an attitude with someone who's legitimately trying to discuss something just because they mispelled/misused a word.

Fair enough. It's definitely one of the real weaknesses of text-only communication that tone is difficult to convey accurately. No doubt this is why smileys and other emoticons were developed.

As I was replying to query, above, it occurred to me that the grammatical corrections generally happen most to new posters here, like the one who started this thread, who aren't familiar to the regulars. Being new, by itself, is not an issue. I think what I see is that those whose very first post is to start a thread that demands our attention without seeming to offer much in return are at greater risk for getting the snarky or rude response.

Does anyone else see this pattern that I think I'm seeing?
 
If the only people reading this forum were regulars who have grown accustomed to this misuse, I would agree with you. But we both know there are probably more people reading here who do not post than there are those who do. That this is true is an argument with which I'm sure you're quite familiar because I know you've used it to support the argument in some of your own posts from time to time. I don't doubt the ability of our regulars to suss out the OP's intent. I do wonder about the ability of such flagrant misuse of terminology that is central to understanding the nuance of bdsm practice to misinform and thus confuse readers who are newer to the forum and, possibly, to bdsm as well.
I did not mean 'only people who post here."

I meant "almost every person on the internet."

You knew what he meant, you had no trouble sussing it out. Yeahthat missing letter, and the meaning shift it creates, hurts my sensibilities like fingernails on a chalkboard, but if grammer-domming is more fun for us than actual conversation, let's just say so.
Fair enough. It's definitely one of the real weaknesses of text-only communication that tone is difficult to convey accurately. No doubt this is why smileys and other emoticons were developed.

As I was replying to query, above, it occurred to me that the grammatical corrections generally happen most to new posters here, like the one who started this thread, who aren't familiar to the regulars. Being new, by itself, is not an issue. I think what I see is that those whose very first post is to start a thread that demands our attention without seeming to offer much in return are at greater risk for getting the snarky or rude response.

Does anyone else see this pattern that I think I'm seeing?
Absolutely agree with this-- on both points :)
 
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I did not mean 'only people who post here."

I meant "almost every person on the internet."

You knew what he meant, you had no trouble sussing it out. Yeahthat missing letter, and the meaning shift it creates, hurts my sensibilities like fingernails on a chalkboard, but if grammer-domming is more fun for us than actual conversation, let's just say so.
Absolutely agree with this-- on both points :)

I prefer to think of it as grammar-topping, thank you. ;)
 
Fair enough. It's definitely one of the real weaknesses of text-only communication that tone is difficult to convey accurately. No doubt this is why smileys and other emoticons were developed.

As I was replying to query, above, it occurred to me that the grammatical corrections generally happen most to new posters here, like the one who started this thread, who aren't familiar to the regulars. Being new, by itself, is not an issue. I think what I see is that those whose very first post is to start a thread that demands our attention without seeming to offer much in return are at greater risk for getting the snarky or rude response.

Does anyone else see this pattern that I think I'm seeing?


Yes, and as a multi-year regular I thank the the more grammatically correct regulars for forgiving my very frequent typos and lack of grammar knowledge.
 
To answer the OP's question:

I am a submissive in my D/s relationship. I am a submissive in that relationship by choice, not by nature. By nature I tend to be dominant in a vacuum of dominance, submissive around dominance I respect.
 
but there's no reason to get an attitude with someone who's legitimately trying to discuss something

I really wonder how you want to discuss this thread topic.

"No, Pachet, you might think that you lean towards that side, but in reality, you lean towards the other one!"

:rolleyes:
 
I prefer to think of it as grammar-topping, thank you. ;)

Kind of an unpaid service top position?

One of the things I worry happens with correction of all sort (aside from OTK spankings which always seem appropriate) is that people with less confidence in the worth of their potential contributions shrink with the violets.

What made me think of that was that as I made my little joke, I questioned myself. "Does that even make sense?" I had to rack my brain to see if I was making obvious errors in the use of BDSM terms.

I recognize I am a neophyte when it comes to protocol and picking labels. I often see dynamics on the surface. I LOVE Stella's corrections of my usage. They make me really ponder at times. I am not, however, typically a wallflower.

I am fortunate that my hit-and-miss commando-raid style of parachuting in on various threads and sub-fora that I occasionally come to the attention of that rarest of reader. When I get an out of the blue message from a near or even total lurker who turns out to be facing a fascinating life choice, of shyly relates a gem to warm a voyeur's cockles.

Not anyone's responsibility to MAKE a lurker participate, but I do try. Maybe the painfully shy can't be helped even if we had campfires and s'mores...but I ponder.
 
Kind of an unpaid service top position?

One of the things I worry happens with correction of all sort (aside from OTK spankings which always seem appropriate) is that people with less confidence in the worth of their potential contributions shrink with the violets.

What made me think of that was that as I made my little joke, I questioned myself. "Does that even make sense?" I had to rack my brain to see if I was making obvious errors in the use of BDSM terms.

I recognize I am a neophyte when it comes to protocol and picking labels. I often see dynamics on the surface. I LOVE Stella's corrections of my usage. They make me really ponder at times. I am not, however, typically a wallflower.

I am fortunate that my hit-and-miss commando-raid style of parachuting in on various threads and sub-fora that I occasionally come to the attention of that rarest of reader. When I get an out of the blue message from a near or even total lurker who turns out to be facing a fascinating life choice, of shyly relates a gem to warm a voyeur's cockles.

Not anyone's responsibility to MAKE a lurker participate, but I do try. Maybe the painfully shy can't be helped even if we had campfires and s'mores...but I ponder.

I think we do miss some interesting points of wiew, because people are shy.
On the other hand, when I get a PM from a lurker it's usually from someone who is very confident in the worth of their potential contribution, but very clearly doesn't want their point of view challenged by others.

In short, to participate in discussion you usually have to be at least ok with other people disagreeing. When you try to create an atmosphere where even the very shy will post, you usually end up with an atmosphere where no real discussion can take place.
 
I seem to lean toward dominant type folks in a magnetic swoony want to be near them because they smell like caramel sort of way. That said, I have no idea what it really says about me anymore, but yes, I am learning and have learned a lot in the mean time.
 
Kind of an unpaid service top position?

No, I don't see it that way at all. A service top, as I understand the nomenclature, performs topping acts at the behest of another. No one ever asks for the grammar police to come knocking at their post.

However, my post was mostly an inside joke playing off Stella's indefatigable effort to teach people the differences between dominance and topping as well as between submission and bottoming.
 
No, I don't see it that way at all. A service top, as I understand the nomenclature, performs topping acts at the behest of another. No one ever asks for the grammar police to come knocking at their post.

However, my post was mostly an inside joke playing off Stella's indefatigable effort to teach people the differences between dominance and topping as well as between submission and bottoming.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY.
I will not drink tea while reading posts by MWY...
 
I am a submissive babygirl who has a Daddy Dom. I like a gentler Dom at times that can appreciate and nurture my little side. I have been guilty of topping from the bottom sometimes but I wouldn't call myself a switch. Maybe more of a brat at those times.
 
I am a submissive babygirl who has a Daddy Dom. I like a gentler Dom at times that can appreciate and nurture my little side. I have been guilty of topping from the bottom sometimes but I wouldn't call myself a switch. Maybe more of a brat at those times.
Daddies are very often indulgent. That's part of the dynamic....

That said, EVERYONE tops from the bottom once in a while. Unless you have zero ego at ll and no sense of self-preservation, or else your top is the most bestest mind reader in the known universe.

I get so sick of people talking about personal preferences and needs as if they were a terrible thing that (women) should never have met.

Read the essay linked in my sig, please. ;)
 
I'm always perceived as a dominate but deep down inside I'm looking for the Dom that will tame and satiate me.
 
I feel like I'm definitely more submissive sexually, but I have a pretty assertive personality type.
 
I always thought I was submissive to an extent but was still pretty dominating sexually but I am still searching for the right Dom that can take full control so that I can be truly submissive.
 
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