Actually he's mine. And he has given me so much useful advice over the months I've been on Lit in his untiring strife to help me improve as a writer.
Like:
"Eat shit and die."
"Go f... yourself n.gg.r-lover."
"Your just another cuckie a..hole."
"What an idiot."
"Boring."
"Unreadable."
... and my favorite...
"Learn to spell properly, moran."
And of I really do take the criticism of my fans to heart. In fact last week I ate a serving of my mother-in-law's meatloaf. I didn't die though...
Oh No! Anonymous has been cheating on me. Worse still he talks dirty to you.
All I ever get is
"Typical Brit shit"
"You Brits wanna grow a pair"
and even
"Who taught you grammer"
(tear) what am I going to do. He's cuckolded me. I know I'll fish out my 357 Magnum and go out and shoot the bastard. Oh No I can't get one of them in this country, I guess it'll have to be toothpicks at twelve paces. The bastard doesn't know how long mine is.